Don't Make Imagined Problems Real

In this session, we highlight the potential consequences of immediately acting upon our anxious thoughts rather than taking a moment to detach and mindfully and objectively observe the situation before deciding what to do. We end the session with a focus on the breath at the nose and the allowance of thoughts to arise and fall as they will - without judgment or action. This track is taken from my course, ‘The Path Within: Lessons From A 10-Day Vipassana Retreat’, available now via my profile.

Transcript

Day seven.

Don't make imagined problems real by drawing attention to them.

So,

As you may have guessed by my accent,

I'm an Australian,

And there's this sort of joke that a lot of the cliches about Australia,

You know,

The wildlife,

Sort of don't quite come about in practice.

Most of us live in cities,

And most of the time in those cities,

The worst you can see is ants and birds and other things.

It's pretty safe,

It's thoroughly safe.

But this Vipassana course was in the country,

And in the country you're exposed to wildlife.

And being that there's not much else to do during the downtime,

You tend to find yourself just exploring the grounds.

And the grounds of the meditation retreat were beautiful.

There was a tea tree forest walk where there were vines intertwined and sort of curling up into the canopies,

And there was sort of little ponds and lakes and flowers and a whole variety of things.

And there's also this little marshy area.

And,

You know,

It's sunny and it's nice and it's beautiful.

So I found myself,

I think,

Just after lunch,

One of the days,

Sitting and just being with my thoughts,

Just meditating.

Because one of the practices we were given was to take this bodily awareness that we're working on in the formal sits into our everyday.

To maintain continual awareness,

Because continuity of practice is the key to success.

You know,

Be aware of the sensations in the body.

I'm like,

Okay,

Let's sit out in the sun and just sort of be there for this.

I've got nothing to do,

Literally,

Until the hour's up,

Until we go back into the formal meditation.

So I'll just sit by this beautiful little sort of area.

And there was a sign,

Little handwritten sign saying,

Snakes have been spotted in this area.

And to be clear,

You know,

I've been in Australia my entire life and I've done nature walks,

Bushwalks,

A whole variety of things,

Far more rural than where I was.

And I've never,

Not once seen a live wild snake.

Never.

Despite there being many warnings,

Many signs,

Many things sort of saying like,

Hey,

Be careful.

But of course,

As you guessed,

I looked down and there is a meter long black snake curled up and just sort of sitting there sunbaking.

Its eyes on me and its tongue is just flicking.

It's tasting the air.

And I realized a couple of things very quickly.

Number one,

That's a real live wild snake.

Number two,

I don't know if that snake is poisonous or dangerous.

And number three,

It is downwind for me and it is smelling the air and it knows that I am here.

So I'm a little bit scared.

I'm a little bit,

Oof,

This is a bit intense and I'm like,

Okay,

It's sitting there.

I'm relatively safe.

But I'm feeling things and I'm practicing the meditation.

I'm like,

Okay,

We're all right.

Feelings are arising.

Sensations in my body are arising.

And I'm sort of tracking,

I'm doing the meditation,

The stuff that we've been learning.

Sensations in my body are arising.

My heart's beating fast.

My breath is going a little bit.

I've got some tension.

I'm feeling a bit out of chartated and I'm trying to sort of just be with it.

And to be clear,

The snake was a decent while away from me.

I was on one side of the bank and it was on the other side of the bank,

But it was close to the edge of the bank and close to the toilet area,

The area where you can hang your clothes,

Close to the walkway on the other side.

So I was looking at it with a bit of a gap between me.

So I knew I was safe if it decided to approach.

And realistically,

I knew that it probably wouldn't approach me or do anything.

It wouldn't want to sort of mess with creature that's bigger than it,

But nonetheless,

It would defend itself if I happened to bother it.

Right.

Okay.

I can sit here.

I can be with the feelings.

I can observe this snake and just sort of note the feelings that are arising.

This snake will become my meditation buddy.

I was unable to close my eyes because I was concerned,

But I was nonetheless there for the experience.

But of course,

Other people were walking around too.

And we were in noble silence and I had not spoken a word.

I had not interacted with anyone other than the teacher during the consultation periods for days at this stage.

And I was dedicated,

Like I'm not going to communicate.

I'm not going to talk.

I'm not going to touch.

I'm not going to do anything.

But of course,

Someone,

One of the fellow meditators was walking down the path and their path was going to take them within half a meter of this snake.

And they weren't aware of it.

And I'm like,

Oof,

The anxiety came.

What if this snake feels threatened?

What if this snake attacks?

Oh no.

So I decided to break noble silence and warn this man who was getting closer and closer.

And I said,

Hey,

There's a snake there.

Be careful.

And the guy sort of looked at me a little bit shocked that I was speaking because it's drilled into his don't talk,

Don't talk,

Don't talk.

But I'm like,

Okay,

I'm not going to let this person get accidentally bitten by a snake for the sake of noble silence.

It seemed like it was worthy of breaking.

But of course,

And like I started this session with,

The lesson learned was don't make an imagined problem real by drawing attention to it.

Because rather than stepping away,

Rather than moving back from the bank,

Rather than heeding my warning,

This person decided to move closer to the bank,

Lean right in and get,

Well,

What I thought a little bit,

A little bit silly,

A little bit way too close to the snake,

Or at least it felt like it at the time.

I remember I was a bit heightened and I realized,

Oh no,

Not only have I broken the noble silence,

Broken the idea that,

You know,

One of the core tenants of why I'm here to warn this person about this snake,

Not only that,

But by drawing attention to the fact that this snake is there,

I've caused this person to get closer to it.

I may have made a problem that wasn't going to happen real because out of curiosity,

This person is now looking at the snake,

Is pausing,

Is seeing it.

Now,

Luckily,

Thankfully,

This person didn't get bitten.

The snake was just sort of there and it chilled and,

You know,

The guy moved on.

But a very quick lesson became clear to me and it sort of relates to other things in life.

There are many,

Many,

Many times where the mind will throw up anxieties,

Will throw up worries and concerns and issues and a whole variety of things where there is a potential possibility for pain,

But when you draw attention to it,

It makes it real.

How many times have you started speaking to a partner or a boss or a child or someone and halfway through you realize that you shouldn't have started speaking,

That if you had have kept it to yourself,

It would have disappeared?

This is like almost the truth of anxiety.

The truth of anxiety in my experience is that,

Yes,

Almost the truth of anxiety.

The truth of anxiety in my experience is that,

Yes,

Things can go wrong,

But the chances of something going wrong that you're worried about is almost nil.

You could have anxiety,

Worries,

Issues,

Imagined problems,

About 10,

000 different iterations and only one of two of them may eventuate.

Maybe.

I know that in my life,

Almost every time I've worried about something,

It's never happened.

And when something does happen,

It's easier to resolve than my anxiety would allow me to believe.

So this instant with the snake made me realize that there are times in which it's better just to process.

And if we think back to the lesson from day two,

I can process internal overwhelm.

When things arise in the future,

I'm going to try to be equanimous with my thoughts,

To sit with it,

To observe,

To allow things to play out a little bit and just be there for it,

And to not sort of jump and speak and sort of worry unnecessarily,

Because I'm actually be drawing attention to imagined problems.

Because these life lessons carry into business and other things,

It's very tempting to try and solve all the imagined problems you think your customers have,

Or your kids have,

Or other people have,

Or whatever.

But the reality is,

Is that they're not having it.

You think they might have it,

And then by drawing attention to it,

You're actually sort of drawing attention to the problem preemptively,

And implanting that problem in their brain.

Now,

In this case,

It's a little bit ambiguous,

Because,

You know,

Snakes can be dangerous,

You can be bitten,

There's quite a negative consequence.

To be clear,

I don't regret breaking the noble silence and warning.

But I am aware of the potential irony that I could have caused this person to be bitten,

That if I hadn't have said anything,

That person would have kept walking,

Wouldn't have stopped,

And the snake would have just sat there.

I could have just went and gone the management and said,

Hey,

Like,

There's a snake here,

Let's just,

You know,

Make sure people are safe,

Yada yada,

And it would have been addressed.

But also,

And more importantly,

Into my everyday life,

There are times where I will have,

And have been tempted to since speak and draw attention to things that aren't really a problem.

And the act of drawing attention to them actually makes them a problem.

Because now,

Once you've implanted the thought in someone's mind,

They now have to process it and deal with the internal sort of issues that that anxiety is arising.

If you're like,

Oh,

Hey,

Consider this thing.

If they're not considering it,

They might have just have continued.

It's like someone walking on a tightrope.

They have to walk it back and forth,

Back and forwards.

And they're doing it,

They've done it.

But if you say,

Oh,

Hey,

Think about all the things that could go wrong.

Think about all the things that could go wrong when you're driving.

You drive every day,

But think of what could go wrong,

You're like,

Oof,

Now I'm thinking of what could go wrong.

And it sort of impacts your ability to drive,

Because you're no longer just doing the action,

You're now processing that fear.

This is true for everything.

And it impedes your ability to perform the action.

It impedes your ability to make good judgments,

Because you're now thinking of this extra thing that you have to process.

So the lesson learned for me is to not make the imagined problems real,

To have a far longer leeway before I start bringing external attention to my own internal fear.

Because it might cause those problems to actually eventuate.

In this case,

It could have caused that person to be bitten by the snake.

Thankfully,

It didn't happen,

Crisis averted,

But we can learn and we can attain wisdom from things arising,

And the worst outcome not happening,

Which is what I hope to have delivered with this session.

So what I want you to do as the practice,

As the technique for this session,

Is to once again work on what we were working on in the last session.

The focus on the breath at the nose,

And just allowing the thoughts to arise.

Allowing the anxieties to arise,

Whatever to arise,

And to not get caught up in them.

The analogy we used last session applies.

Looking across the road at a letterbox,

And the cars are going past,

And they're loud and they're noisy,

They're grabbing your attention.

You don't need to verbalize it.

You don't need to say anything about it.

You're just going to sit with it.

Sit with the sensation of the breath at the nose.

Your mind wanders to those things,

You bring it back.

You don't get up and stop meditating.

You don't get it up and speak.

You don't get up and fix it.

You just sit with whatever is arising.

Let's do this for one more minute.

Attention at the breath.

The sensation of the breath at the nostrils.

Noticing the temperature difference as it's going in and out.

Noticing what nostril it's going up and out.

Noticing the feelings that are arising at the nostrils.

And just being aware that mental phenomena is arising,

But not getting caught up in it.

Let's give it a shot.

So today we looked at the idea of not making imagined problems real,

With me giving the example of drawing attention to the potential danger of a snake.

And rather than that,

Causing the danger to reduce,

It actually increased the danger.

I'm talking about how this can happen with our everyday life,

With our anxieties and thoughts and worries.

If we verbalize them,

It can actually make them real,

And particularly real in the minds of other people,

Causing them duress and issues and potentially harm,

Unnecessary.

And unnecessarily because they wouldn't have been impacted by it were they not made aware of it.

Because no matter what in life,

There are dangers,

There are risks.

But if we just get through our life and just sort of persist,

The prior learning and the habits and all of these things that we've done in the past sort of get us through.

And sometimes in extremes cases,

Yes,

Verbalize,

Yes,

Speak up,

Yes,

Make it aware.

But if you know that you have a tendency to speak too soon,

If you've noticed that in the past that you speak up unnecessarily,

If you notice that you're caught up with anxieties,

As I notice within myself,

Rather than speaking instantly,

Take a moment to process these thoughts,

To be with them,

To draw your attention to the sensation of the breath at the moment,

What is actually happening now,

And allow that internal sort of wave of emotionality to pass,

And then make a more rational,

Equanimous,

Thought out,

Wiser choice as to if you need to speak,

And if so,

What you need to say,

To who,

And when,

And why.

And as always,

I encourage you to sit with any thoughts and feelings and insights that have arisen,

And take some time to explore that practice further.

And if you have any questions,

Would like some further clarification,

Or have an insight you wish to share,

Please do so in the classroom.

There,

I'll be able to give you a voice response,

And you'll be able to read the questions and answers from other students.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further introspection,

And insight,

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This track was taken from the course,

The Path Within,

Lessons from a 10-day Vipassana retreat.

It's out now on InsightTimer,

And available through my profile.

I invite you to check it out.

Reviews

Thanks for sharing. This is a great lesson to practice.