Are You The Problem?
In this session, we contemplate the habit of blaming ourselves rather than attempting to change the situation we find ourselves in. We discuss the unfair compassions we make, and how the differences between all individuals may impact our ability to function in the same society. This track is taken from my course, ‘Awaken To Your Highest Calling’, available now via my profile.
Transcript
Hello and welcome to the session.
I invite you to take a seat or lay down and get yourself comfortable.
You can close down the eyes if you wish and take a deep,
Slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.
In a moment,
I'm going to share with you a question to contemplate.
Then we'll just sit in silence for a minute and let it percolate.
Then we'll talk about the question and just see where the discussion leads us.
This question,
And indeed all of the questions in this course,
Are designed to be a catalyst for change.
A prompt that will help you to reframe your thinking,
Help you to consider new possibilities and approaches,
And to usher in a state of being that is more attuned with your highest calling.
I invite you to approach the question with an attitude of extreme openness.
One,
Where for the duration of the session,
You'll welcome in and accept any and all responses that arise.
There are no right or wrong answers,
No good or bad thoughts,
And nothing for you to run from or move towards.
Just be open to whatever arises.
As it is,
For what it is,
In this moment,
Without judgement or filter.
Because by doing so,
You'll be opening yourself up to the deepest and truest expression of wisdom and intuition available to you.
So let's take a moment to sit with today's question.
Are you the problem?
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
Are you the problem?
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
So this question,
Are you the problem?
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
Presupposes that you have a problem.
But I would argue that for most everyone,
We all do face inner and outer challenges.
Challenges of self-worth,
Self-belief,
Anxiety,
Depression,
Stress,
Overwhelm.
Life is suffering,
To borrow an expression from Buddhism,
Right?
There is pain.
Things happen.
But this question sort of leads us down the path of,
In my mind,
Functionality.
Not being able to keep up with the Joneses,
Comparing ourselves to what we think other people are doing,
Or what they're actually doing.
It leads down to discussion of potential neurodiversity,
Or sensitivity,
Or personality differences.
Mental illness,
Physical disabilities,
And just differences in culture,
Perception,
Intelligence,
Education,
All of these things.
Really,
Everyone is different,
Right?
But we're all expected to live,
Be,
And function within the same society.
You know,
The society that we've been born into.
But that society is a conglomerate.
It's an average of everyone,
With the baggage of history applied to it.
Overlaid with religion and spirituality,
And the vestiges of capitalism and globalization,
And all of these other diverse and disparate interests that are pulling at and through one another.
What's the chances that you are able to navigate the system that we find ourselves in?
This system that sits within a world of 8 billion people.
Megacities of millions,
Interconnected via social media,
With a global financial system,
And complex corporations and structures that really govern a lot of our lives.
The concept of a nation state,
A country,
Is a relatively new one.
The internet is relatively new.
Interacting with massive bureaucracies and hierarchies is relatively new.
Money,
As a concept,
Is an abstraction.
Those numbers on a screen,
Those pieces of plastic or paper in your pocket,
Are fiat.
They're a collective belief that they hold value.
And indeed,
They do hold value.
They represent stored energy.
$10 is a representation of $10 worth of value that you can then trade for $10 worth of other value,
Or stuff,
Or services.
This is a really weird situation that we find ourselves in,
Right?
And if you pick apart any aspect of society,
You start to see that,
Hey,
This is a bit interesting.
This isn't really normal.
And you realise that there isn't really a normal to sit back to.
Were you a good student in school?
Maybe.
But is school normal?
If you struggled at school,
If you were,
Quote unquote,
A bad student.
You weren't that good at maths,
Or English,
Or sport.
Maybe you didn't sit still enough in class,
Or you spoke back,
Or you got in.
.
.
Whatever happened.
That system that you were raised in isn't normal for the vast majority of our history.
And it's designed and built to cater towards the average.
To get the average towards a purpose in which the state deems you to be needing of.
You know,
The school system is designed to provide certain outcomes.
This is like a little bit of a reframe of society,
But the reason I'm bringing all of this up is.
.
.
If you find yourself struggling to do your taxes,
Right?
If you find yourself challenged by navigating new technology.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by the bureaucracy of buying a house.
If you find yourself confused or overwhelmed by shopping centres.
If you don't know how to operate your lawnmower,
Right?
If you can't maintain or manage to keep your house clean.
If you struggle to sort your clothes,
Right?
All of these things are functions of current society.
I mean,
Even like spelling,
Writing.
All of that is an addition to the human animal.
The point I'm trying to make here is,
Back to this question.
Are you the problem?
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
If you don't connect with,
Resonate with,
Gel with the prominent religion of your society.
If it doesn't sit with you,
Or you are someone that that religion or culture doesn't tolerate,
Doesn't like,
Or openly discriminates against.
Are you the problem?
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
Add this to any sort of mental,
Physical,
Disability,
Divergence,
Personality,
Like we were talking about earlier,
Gender,
Sexuality,
Etc.
Just different ways of thinking.
Are you the problem?
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
I'm asking this to myself.
Because I know that I simply cannot function as a 9 to 5 worker.
I've tried it.
And it causes breakdown.
It doesn't work for me.
I struggle to be on.
I struggle to maintain that daily grind.
And no matter what the job is,
It becomes overwhelming very quickly.
Same thing with formal study.
I'm currently studying a Master of Counselling.
And it is a challenge for me.
Because it's meeting these deadlines.
It's doing all of this reading that other people just can do.
There's social gatherings that I struggle with.
This isn't meant for me to be like this sob story over me.
What it is,
Is a realisation that if we approach life that I'm okay,
Maybe it's a matter of reframing my environment so that I'm okay in my environment.
Oh,
I get overwhelmed by loud noises.
Okay,
I need to make sure that my environment has silent spaces.
Or is quieter.
Certain smells overwhelm me.
Let's remove those from the house so they don't arise.
A chattering TV bothers me.
Okay,
Well let's have a policy in the house that the TV stays off unless we're watching it.
The point I'm trying to make here is that whatever issue you have,
If you could reframe that issue to the idea that perhaps,
Just maybe,
You're not the problem.
Maybe the environment you're in is the problem.
You start sitting and seeing the world from a place of higher self-worth and agency.
You go,
Okay,
I am me.
I can only be me in this world.
Can I tweak or change aspects of my world so I can better function?
If we go to the overwhelmed from sound example,
Maybe you need to put some headphones in.
If you find that you prefer being out and about at night because the sunlight bothers you,
Well,
Change your schedule.
If you find,
Like me,
That 9 to 5 work doesn't work for you,
Look for different opportunities.
Become a freelancer.
Go down different pathways.
Change the environment to suit you.
Because you can spend years of your life blaming yourself,
Getting upset with yourself,
Becoming overwhelmed with yourself and not being able to fit in.
But once you're an adult and can make choices for yourself,
You can start to choose different aspects.
Now,
Yes,
You will have to work and earn money to live.
But do you have to do that job,
The one that crosses your soul?
Can you make some tweaks and changes?
Maybe that next job isn't ideal,
But what parts of both of those jobs did you like?
Can you find a third job that hits both of those markers and more?
What aspects of it were overwhelming that you didn't like?
Cool,
Make those changes,
Right?
Take some ownership of your life.
Okay.
You find that certain aspects of home maintenance doesn't work for you.
Can your partner do it?
Yeah,
Can you do certain aspects that you find good and your partner does other aspects that they find good?
Is there a balance to be made there?
Are there tasks that bring you joy or at least you don't despise?
Well,
They become your tasks.
And you can outsource,
Offload the other tasks to other people.
If you have the financial capacity to do so,
Some of us are lucky enough to be able to hire help.
Hire help to do those things that you despise,
Yeah?
Hire someone.
If at your workplace you were given a job that doesn't resonate,
Speak up.
Say,
Hey,
Boss,
Look,
I know you want me to do this job,
But honestly,
It's not within my prime power.
I'm not optimized to do this sort of work.
Use the buzzwords of your workplace,
Of course.
Maybe I could do this sort of work because this is what I'm really good at and passionate about,
And I can do an amazing job of this,
As you've seen in the past.
And maybe you could pass this task that you've just given me on to someone else so we can both focus on our strengths.
That's good for you.
That's good for me.
That's good for them.
It's good for all of us.
We can all thrive.
By recognizing who and what you are and what you can do,
From that place you can thrive.
So I ask you to consider,
In every aspect of your life,
Where you're finding any sort of problems or struggles,
Ask yourself,
Are you the problem,
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
Are you the problem,
Or is the environment you're in the problem?
So,
Well done.
This brings us to the end of the session.
At the bottom of your screen,
You'll see an option to view the classroom or to ask a question.
Before moving on,
I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights,
To read the answers from other students and to hear my replies.
Remember to start your responses by restating the question so we know which one you're referring to.
This is an opportunity for deep learning,
Further introspection and insight,
So please don't miss out.
Look forward to seeing you in the next session.
Thank you.
This session was taken from the course,
Awaken to Your Highest Calling.
It's out now and available on Insight Timer via my profile.
Check it out.
