When I was first invited to teach,
I think about 15 years ago now,
My response was,
I was totally inadequate for the job and what did I know?
So I thought I really need to do a lot of study.
So I entered into quite a period of studying all the sutras and Pali Canon,
Teachings of the Buddha.
I thought I need to have something to say.
But over the years,
In a way that has all fallen away and I find my intention now is always to try and be as simple and direct and as clear as possible in expressing my own understanding in the words that come to me.
And try to be as.
.
.
Not to fall into the trap of speculation or getting too way out there as far as the ultimate reality of things is concerned.
But I do keep falling into that trap.
And that inquiring into this relationship that we have between this idea that we are the observer and there is the observed,
Or there is the witness and what we witness.
And it's very strong in the tradition and well,
But it has some.
.
.
There's some caution there.
And of course what is important is that we.
.
.
If we're going to avoid any sort of conflict or suffering,
Is not to cling to or identify with or make of either the subject or the object,
The awareness or the object of awareness.
And seems to me we can have three responses when a sensation of feeling whatever arises,
So it's fear or anxiety.
The first typical response is that we're so identified with the experience and in a way we're not even aware that what's happening.
We're just fully caught up in the event.
And there doesn't seem to be any awareness of what's happening.
We're just totally acting out that feeling and that emotion.
And so that's completely identifying with the object,
If you like,
With the event that's arising,
The fear or anxiety as I said.
The other option here is that some part of us can be aware of what's arising.
We can be aware of the fear and this is the part of the practices.
There's always encouraged to be cultivated.
We're aware of the fear that is arising.
So we have now this separation if you like.
We have the actual experience that we're having which is the fear and we're having a part of us which is actually aware of what is occurring.
And the.
.
.
The.
.
.
The problem can be here though.
We start to identify with the observer,
With the awareness.
We create the awareness into something more substantial if you like and more me than the actual emotion that's arising.
So and a lot of teachers use it the.
.
.
The.
.
.
The Buddha used the term not me not mine this is not who I am.
And I think this can be problematic.
This heightens this sense of separation that the fear that's arising isn't me.
The me is the part of me that is aware of what is arising.
And here I'm talking about is there still the division.
We're still you know way confirming a sense of I.
It's just that the I has moved over to this so-called awareness or the witness.
And somehow that's more valuable or more true than the actual experience that I'm having which is fear or anxiety.
The third possibility in this response is that I don't cling anywhere there is just the seeing of the event that is arising and there's no movement away from the actual emotion that I'm experiencing.
In the sense of the emotion doesn't become an object of some subject.
There is just the seeing and the seeing incorporates what's actually occurring.
And I'm staying there I'm with that there's no movement away.
And in that there's no division.
And I think that is the then allows an opportunity or something really creative to arise.
Some in that non movement if you like in that non identification that non selfing if you like something can enter the consciousness which has a freeing effect if you like.
So I think this is important in this question of not reifying the awareness.
A lot of the traditions and the advice is one does have this tendency to reify the awareness.
Now of course everything ultimately is undivided,
Is intimately connected.
But we were really careful not to fall into the trap of getting caught in some sort of sense of oneness.
That we lose touch with the beauty and exquisite wonder of diversity.
And also that we don't deny our feelings and what arises in our consciousness.
It's just that we don't make an event something substantial of it.
We don't get caught up in the story.
We don't invest in it.
And we don't in any way cling to the sense of being some sort of witness.
The witness as far as I can see is still part of the consciousness.
It's not separate from the event.
And as if we make it separate from the event then we're creating problems.
We're not resolving,
We're not finding new creative ways to free ourselves from that experience.
Because that's the old pattern of the fixer.
So the awareness becomes the fixer,
The knower.
But if we don't in any way identify with or make of the awareness it's just the seeing.
There is just seeing at this moment what is occurring.
So we're not we're careful that not getting caught up into the trap of creating the seer.
I think this is a really important insight.
It's going to radically change the way we relate to our feelings and our emotions.
So we're taking out totally any idea that I shouldn't be feeling this.
There's something wrong and something I have to fix.
So thank you.
I just thought I'd like to delve a bit deeper into last week's question of division,
How we divide consciousness and create more and more problems.
So thank you everyone.
