When you go to do a podcast.
And the words start flowing.
But then there's this feeling of,
That's not the message.
No,
That's not the message.
Stop the recording.
That's not the message.
Just sharing a little bit of my process today.
Because it might seem.
.
.
Like.
.
.
But you're a good speaker,
Amanda.
I've heard you speak.
I come to your live events.
I love your content.
It seems so flawless.
Sometimes,
You know,
We want to impose a message.
It feels,
Or we have this grand idea of what it needs to look like.
And then you show up on the day and you're like,
Scrap it all.
Scrap it all.
But maybe not all of it.
Maybe not all of it.
And so where were we?
In our last episode.
Seed planter,
Be a seed planter.
And so we plant our seeds,
We're there,
We're nourishing our garden.
So what comes next?
What is the message today?
What message am I bringing for you today?
Because all that before.
That wasn't it.
And it's okay within the process to kind of take a pause,
Say that's not it,
And replant that seed.
So let's get into it.
A friend once asked me,
What was birth like?
And I've never had the words.
So let's see if I have them.
And as I share this with you.
The sun is shining.
I'm sitting on the floor in a really grounded space.
Sunbeams light up the floor around me.
And I can see the green of the tree outside.
And the light glistens on the tree.
There's like a little sparkle to it,
You know?
End.
It's important we do that every once in a while because that really helps us to stay grounded.
It helps me to speak with you.
And also for you to receive.
What you're here to receive today.
And so coming back to thinking about the journey of birth.
Because we plant the seed.
I'm gonna speak in.
The literal forms of having a baby because I just had a baby.
And there was a point where we planted a seed.
And where the seed began to grow life.
Bloom.
Within my body.
And then came the day.
Where?
It was time to give birth to life.
But not before so many other things in the process.
To grow a baby takes so much.
It takes so much physically.
It takes so much emotionally and so much of your spirit and your willingness to keep treading on your spiritual path.
Because children are.
Little vessels of light.
End.
You've probably heard people say that it's our light that we fear the most.
I always see content online about you know,
Parenting hacks or.
.
.
People who are talking about how to have like a wellness around parents.
How can we spend more time with our kids?
Because we might find.
.
.
Moments where we're like rushing to get through bedtime.
And then we have a moment that's like,
Where am I actually going?
And I've come to the realization that it's because.
.
.
Children are like little balls of light.
And they bring so much light into our lives.
That we want to run sometimes because they're so truthful.
They're so truthful.
The grocery store.
The other day,
My son looked up at me and he said,
Mommy.
Every friend has a role.
Now where did he get that?
Where did he learn that?
I think if.
.
.
Connect deeper.
You'll get this sense that He's connected.
Just as we all are,
But we forget.
And the process of birth,
Whether it's planting a seed,
Whether it's having a baby.
Whether it's a rebirth on our spiritual path.
Or something else.
It reminds us because we need the reminders.
We need the daily reminders.
There's always something there to learn.
Remind you.
Today,
My reminder,
My wake-up call was a friend messaging me a song.
I was feeling I had a wonderful,
Wonderful nourishing Sunday where I just rested.
I did not do a thing.
I was like,
I've done my job for the week.
I shared what I need to share.
And now I'm going to take a day for me.
For my family.
Just to rest and truly nourish.
Get off of the metaverse.
And just rest.
Don't do anything unnecessary.
This is what Sundays are meant to look like.
And solely nourish so that we can begin again.
We nourish so that we can grow.
Start our week.
Open.
And this is a Sunday ritual that I'm picking back up because I realize how important it is.
It scares us.
When we lose the momentum.
It scares us to think we're gonna lose our train of thought or lose our place.
But a perfect example is right in the middle of this.
Message right in the middle of me delivering this to you,
My sweet baby.
Needed me.
And he actually needs me again in this moment.
So we're going to pause.
And we're going to come back.
And just like that,
I'm back.
A little bit lost for momentum here,
Not gonna lie.
But I have the power to begin again.
Just as you have the power to begin again.
Every day as a new day.
Every moment is a new moment.
And it doesn't mean that we don't reflect on the past.
And it doesn't mean that we don't plan for the future.
It means we get to begin again.
We get to make it whatever it needs to be.
We get to Be creative with it.
Hey,
I lost that flow,
I lost that momentum.
Let's see what this.
.
.
Momentum is all about.
Let's see if I can get on this beam.
This vibe.
There's so much beauty here in that.
Letting go.
Of what we think it needs to be.
For what it is in the moment.
What can we create here?
That is what it means.
To live every day as art.
That is what it means to create an Eden on Earth.
With God,
Every day,
In every moment.
That is.
What I believe.
Brings human fulfillment.
Thing that we are all searching for.
A lightness to fill our cup.
An infinite source of joy,
Of peace.
Because life is gonna throw curveballs.
One minute.
Could have things one way,
And the very next it could be different.
One minute.
Somebody is your best friend.
And the next minute,
Something has happened.
We are not in control of every little detail.
But that's okay,
Because there's,
Like,
Think of the adventure in that.
Think of the beauty in that.
So coming back to Barbie.
You can always come back.
We might veer off course a little.
There might be a little message in there that we need.
And then we come back.
What is the task at hand here?
Stay on topic.
Have you ever thought that maybe… some of the reason to.
That we tend to veer off course.
Or start talking about something completely different is because we're afraid to speak of the very thing that we are here to speak of.
We are avoiding the very thing that's going to.
.
.
Bring us the healing.
Bring us the fulfillment.
Fill our cup in the way that we need.
And for me,
It's always been very challenging to talk about the births of my babies.
One of the reasons is because I believe there's a balance.
There's a balance in what we speak and to whom.
And it's actually,
It's required for our spiritual growth,
But it's also connected to our survival.
We have a primal need to survive.
Just as giving birth to babies is primal.
The birth of my second son taught me so much about primal.
End.
The part of ourselves that we don't want to lose in the process,
Especially on our spiritual path.
When we're on a spiritual path,
Sometimes we can have our heads up in the clouds,
No pun intended,
Because I love I love taking pictures of clouds.
I told my husband that I would love to just do cloud photography all day long.
But we.
.
.
Miss out.
On a really important piece.
When we disconnect from our need to survive.
Our primal needs.
During this second process of birth.
I felt like a lion.
I felt like a lioness.
And I was thinking.
.
.
Throughout the process.
What would she do?
If she was gonna give birth.
Her next set of cups.
And for me,
What did that look like?
Privacy was a big one.
All throughout my pregnancy,
I was a little bit more private.
I learned a little bit more about.
The need for privacy.
And we're living in a world and we're living in times where privacy is becoming.
Virtually a thing of the past.
But in nature,
In God's creation.
In how we connect with everyone outside of the metaverse.
It's still a no.
It's a survival.
And I would even go as far to say our spirit eats.
Needs that.
Our spirit needs the privacy too.
And so like a lion who.
.
.
Goes into where they need to go to have their cubs.
Privacy.
As I was going through the process.
Of birthing.
My child.
I became more and more private.
I shared less.
I didn't tell anyone if I thought I was going into labor.
I didn't tell anyone if I felt a contraction.
I just allowed.
And there was this.
Primal urge to Seek safety.
Be in a safe place to have my child.
And for me,
That meant surrounding myself with people who felt safe.
I always tell my husband that he is my safe place.
And he is in so many ways,
Which we'll get into because we're going to talk about marriage at some point.
In this podcast series.
But safety is the foundation of it all.
You don't fly.
Your longest flight without saving.
When you fly from a grounded place,
It's so different.
Than when you're very ungrounded,
Your energy is flying all over the place.
And people have a very.
.
.
People have a harder time understanding you.
And consuming what you are here to share with them.
So my son taught me that.
Through his birth.
And then the other piece,
Which just,
It wasn't just in birth,
It was.
.
.
It was throughout the pregnancy.
Was continuous.
In every moment.
In most of life.
It should feel like you are in a continuous prayer,
Almost.
If you want to create to the fullest and you want to be the best.
In that fulfilling feeling.
Endless colors of paint to paint with.
If you will.
Hang in there.
Prayer as you move through your day.
Is such a beautiful way to be.
It's knowing that you're supported with every step that you take.
And then as you move forward you start to see my whole life.
Has been unanswered prayer.
And I don't need to do this alone.
And for me,
That was really important as I was birthing my baby.
Doubt creeps in.
Fear creeps in.
And in the moment.
Where that baby is ready to come into this world.
Which,
By the way,
He was ready to come into this world.
I prayed for a fast birth.
Or a painless birth,
Which I've heard is a thing.
And I got fast.
But there were moments.
Wear.
Fear crept in.
Doubt.
Came along and said,
You can't do this.
But that primal urge for survival.
Was so much stronger.
Connect that to spirit and you're unstoppable.
There was a moment.
Where I felt like I could.
And it was also the very moment.
That I am.
Everything I had inside of me.
To bring that baby into the world.
Because in that moment it's life or death.
In that moment,
You know you have to.
You know that that is exactly what you're being called to do.
And you have to.
You do not have a choice.
In that moment.
That child has been entrusted to you.
And now it's time to do your part.
And it's no different when it comes to.
.
.
Your purpose in life.
Using your voice.
If that is what you are.
Were born to do.
And coming at it from a place of stability.
Because sometimes when we.
.
.
Realize our purpose when we recognize that we have a voice and we have things to say in the world.
We can,
It can feel very ungrounded.
It could feel very scary.
And it can feel like,
I can't do this.
And,
You know,
I'm not saying that.
Everyone in this world was meant to be.
You know,
To do a podcast or to show their face on social media.
I think everyone has a unique voice.
Purpose and gift.
You'll know what it is because it comes.
It comes easily.
And I don't mean easily in the sense that.
You're not going to be interrupted.
Like I have been throughout this entire podcast.
My microphone just died just a bit ago.
I'm just checking it to make sure that it didn't die again.
Things will get in the way.
They'll try.
But it's about coming back again and again and again.
Birthing anew again,
Again,
And again.
When my mic died.
I plugged it in.
I drank a protein shake.
And I went out into the sun.
And as I was in the sun,
I noticed that my.
.
.
Flower that I bought over a year ago.
Finally bloomed,
Started to bloom for the very first time.
And I needed that inspiration.
Witnessing that bloom did something to me that I can't,
That I don't even understand on the level of words.
We have to be open to the interruptions.
We have to be open to.
In Perfectly Perfect Life.
We have to be open to the things that we cannot understand,
The people that are put on our path.
The people that are taken off of our path.
We have to be open.
Because that's where the magic happens.
And that's when we witness our garden in full bloom.
Unlike anything else you have ever experienced.
And the realization that it's taking everything that you have in every moment to get here now.
So what else did I learn in the birthing process?
I learned that there is nothing that I can't do.
I would not do for them.
Like a lioness.
There is nothing that she would not do.
And in that moment.
There is such deep strength.
And this feeling that you're being held and that there is purpose here.
There is purpose in the pain.
This pain has purpose.
And what an honor.
What an honor,
Even in uncertainty.
So wherever you are on the path today.
I ask you.
To connect with the purpose of it.
And I don't mean trying to understand what it means.
Put the book down.
I have a book.
I have a book that I'm reading.
And it's about the meaning.
Of these really important life concepts.
And the book is down right now because I am being called to experience it first,
Read about it later,
Which is such a fun experience.
Highly recommend.
Be in the purpose of it.
And I promise.
That at some point in your life you're going to understand what it meant.
Have the most beautiful day.
