RAIN Meditation For Difficult Situations

We will use the RAIN meditation of Reflect, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture to examine a current situation where you feel emotionally stuck. This is not meant for situations that trigger trauma. If at any point, you feel overwhelmed, you can pause and relax.

RAIN is a kind, compassionate, and brave way to "be with" difficult situations and emotions we can all relate to.

Transcript

Welcome to a meditation based on RAIN,

Practicing with Difficulties.

A few things before we start.

RAIN is a meditation practice developed by Tara Brach.

The title is an acronym,

R for Recognize,

A for Allow,

I for Investigate,

And N for Nurture.

The focus of this RAIN-based meditation is bringing to mind a current situation where you feel emotionally stuck,

Like a conflict with a family member,

A chronic sickness,

A conversation you regret.

One that brings up a difficult reaction like anger,

Anxiety,

Or self-judgment.

Something you would like to push away.

For this meditation,

Do not choose the most difficult or painful situation or one that triggers trauma.

And if at any point you feel overwhelmed,

As if your feelings are too much,

Kindly shift your attention away from this practice.

Take however long you need to find calm and ease.

Relax with the breath,

Or say some phrases of loving kindness,

Or do some mindful movement like standing and swaying.

People often get stuck on allow.

You will be asked to say yes to being with a difficult emotion.

And when we run away from the difficulty,

It doesn't go away,

But we often run to distractions like eating or scrolling.

Remember you are not being asked to forgive or condone.

You're being asked to be with something hard.

Something that is not happening in this moment.

But still,

If that gets too difficult,

Use one of the practices mentioned.

Also,

Self-judgment often comes up.

Do not feed it,

But note it.

Thank that part of yourself for trying to help.

Tell it you're okay for now,

And ask it to please step aside so you can continue.

You may hear echoes of internal family systems language when we talk about and to parts of our inner self.

You will be asked to sense,

Feel,

Or experience.

If you don't feel like you are sensing or feeling,

Don't worry.

Just note what's happening without judgment.

It's fine.

I pause regularly throughout so you can settle into the questions and suggestions.

I say namaste at the very end.

Okay,

Let's start.

Find a comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.

Close your eyes and take a few full,

Deep breaths.

Take a few moments to gently scan your body.

Are there any places of tension that want to relax?

Gently note those places.

Start with your feet on the ground and just gently bring your observation up to your head.

Now,

Bring to mind that current situation where you feel emotionally stuck,

Where a difficult reaction arises in response to that situation,

Like anger,

Anxiety,

Or self-judgment.

It may be a conflict with a family member,

Chronic illness,

Work failure.

Remember to stop at any point where you feel overwhelmed.

Okay,

So sense what situation you'd like to work with,

And I'm going to pause.

Now,

With whatever situation you've chosen,

Take some moments to enter the experience.

Visualize the scene.

Remember the words.

Sense the most distressing moments.

Don't get caught in the words.

You can also just imagine the tone of those words.

Remind yourself of the worst part,

Where you,

What you were afraid of or distressed by.

By getting in touch with the charged essence,

That poignant heart of the story,

That is the starting place to explore the healing aspects of this meditation.

So sense that moment and experience.

As you reflect on this situation,

Can you recognize what is happening?

This is the R of RAIN.

Ask yourself,

What is happening inside me right now?

Pay particular attention to the strongest emotions.

Now,

Note with a soft mental whisper,

Whatever feeling is most predominant.

For example,

Anger,

Guilt,

Or fear.

See if you can allow this situation to be just as it is.

This is the A in RAIN,

Allow.

Send a message to your heart to let be this entire experience.

Find in yourself the willingness to pause and to be.

Be with what is here.

You can experiment with mentally whispering words like,

This belongs,

Or let be,

Or yes.

As I said earlier,

Yes does not mean you like or approve of something.

It means you are willing to experience the reality of the moment.

You might find yourself saying yes to a huge inner no.

Saying yes to the resistance,

To real unpleasantness.

You might be saying yes to the part of you that is saying,

I hate this.

This is a natural part of the process.

At this point,

You are simply recognizing what is true and allowing.

And intending not to judge,

Push away,

Or control anything you find.

Now let's explore what you're experiencing more closely.

Let's call on your natural curiosity about your inner life.

This is the I in RAIN,

Investigate.

You might ask yourself,

What about this most wants my attention?

Or what most wants my acceptance?

Ask your questions gently,

Kindly,

And with genuine interest.

As much as you can manage.

As you ask,

Pay attention to where in your body your experience is strongest.

Is it in your throat,

Your chest,

Your belly?

Somewhere else.

It can be helpful to ask whatever you're feeling.

What is this part of me believing?

But if this leads to a lot of thinking,

Drop it.

It isn't about thinking.

Try sensing.

Can you sense that perhaps you feel you're failing?

That you believe you're unlovable?

Or that someone will reject you?

With whatever you find,

It's important to discover how that belief lives in your body.

What is the felt sense?

And what emotions are you aware of as you do this fear,

Anger,

Shame?

Contact the most intense part of your felt experience.

Gently explore,

Bringing it into your face,

Your literal face.

Bring that emotion,

That part into your face and let your expression mirror,

Even exaggerate what you are feeling in your body.

You might let your posture also express the feeling by slumping or tensing and then relaxing and then deepen your attention to where you feel the most vulnerability,

The strongest feelings in your body.

And as you do,

What sensations are you aware of?

Is there an aching,

Burning,

Tingling?

And it's totally okay if there's no physical feeling.

As before,

Send the message of yes,

Or this belongs,

Or let be.

Allowing yourself to feel as much as possible the fullness or intensity of the difficult experience.

If it helps to steady your attention,

You might breathe with your experience.

And you might also now bring your hand to your heart or wherever you feel that vulnerability,

Your throat or your stomach.

And let the kind touch of your hand be a way of accompanying whatever you are feeling.

Now,

Ask the place of most difficulty,

What do you need most?

Or how do you want me to be with you?

Does this suffering part of you want understanding,

Acceptance,

Company,

Love?

I'm going to pause for a minute.

You might shift your posture in a way that lets you attend from your most awake and wise heart.

Calling on what some call their higher self or true nature.

This is the N of RAIN,

Nurture.

Allow the touch of your hand to become even more tender,

More caring as you sense what is needed.

How does your most awake heart respond?

What does the most vulnerable place need to remember or experience or trust?

You might offer yourself a message like,

I'm sorry,

Or I love you,

Or it's okay,

Dear.

Or I'm not leaving.

If it's fear,

Kind of standing in the way,

Say,

Thank you for trying to protect me,

I'm okay right now.

Feel free to experiment with ways of befriending your inner self,

Whether through words or touch,

Images or energy.

Discover how your attention might become more intimate and loving.

And if you find it difficult to offer compassion to yourself,

You might bring to mind another source of loving in your life.

A trusted person who cares about you,

A spiritual figure,

An ancestor,

A pet,

A part of the natural world,

A tree,

Or a stone,

Or a formless kind presence.

Whatever the source of loving,

Let your attention be to let it in.

Allow nurturing,

Loving energy to bathe you.

Perhaps a warm,

Light-filled field of tenderness,

Suffusing the inner vulnerability and your entire being.

We're gonna give a little space for that,

Allowing for that nurturing.

After offering this unconditional nurturing to your inner life,

Become aware of the quality of presence that has emerged.

Do you notice even a little more spaciousness,

Tenderness,

Clarity?

With whatever is present for you,

Including any remaining streams of difficulty,

Continue to regard it all with kind presence.

This is a stage of practice called after the rain.

Just as after a real rain,

Life flowers,

Sense what has unfolded for you.

Be aware of the quality of the presence here beneath your hand.

Whether the shift is small,

Large,

Or barely noticeable,

Sense the difference from when you started,

From an angry self,

An ashamed self,

Or a fearful self,

To this field of presence.

Can you sense who you are is not identified by or connected to any particular wave of fear or anger or hurt?

Like an ocean with waves on the surface,

Feel yourself as the tender,

Wakeful openness that includes this changing life.

Sense the possibility of relaxing back and being this awareness.

Can you sense how the waves on the surface belong to your experience,

But cannot stain or alter the measureless depth,

The vastness of your being,

Which is interconnected with all beings?

Take some moments to simply rest in this spacious,

Kind awareness and allow whatever arises in your body or mind to freely come and go.

Know this natural awareness as the innermost truth of what you are.

Take a moment to take three deep breaths.

Thank you so much for your practice.

Namaste.