Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta) + Introduction

This meditation begins with an introduction to Metta meditation and then a mindfulness warm-up to arrive. It follows with finding a personal memory to elicit the experience of happiness and peacefulness in the heart and mind. It continues with finding personal experiences that elicit a felt experience of being capable and strong in the body, safe and protected, and then a sense of acceptance. It follows with expanding that positive experience and sense of well-being to all beings.

Transcript

What I'd like to do is a bit of a longer loving kindness meditation.

So this is a more traditional meditation and I come at it from a particular direction and I'd like to use some of our past to help support the cultivation of positive emotions.

So bringing up some past memories to start to get that engine going.

Thinking about times when you felt happy and peaceful,

Healthy and strong,

Safe and protected.

What it feels like to accept yourself and really get that felt experience.

So I'd actually like to start with a story.

This is a story that I heard when I was in acting school.

And this is about,

I believe it was Robert Redford.

So Robert Redford was doing a film and I totally could be butchering this but the idea behind it is still the same.

So he was doing a film and he was asked to cry on cue.

So it was a serious scene and they needed tears.

And they shot it a couple times and he did this fake cry.

And this was with a famous director and at the time they were shooting on film so they can't just take a million takes because it's expensive.

And so the director said,

Okay we're just going to cut that scene.

And Robert Redford was like,

No,

No,

No,

You can't cut it.

Just give me a chance.

And he went around asking other actors.

He was younger in his career at this point.

And everybody's like,

Oh,

I think of something sad or just get up that feeling and then do the scene.

So he tried that a number of times.

It didn't really work for him.

So he decided that he was going to stay,

Lock himself in a boiler room for,

Or in some closet or something for as long as it took for him to find something that would make him cry on cue.

And eventually he found something.

But it took him three days.

He spent three days in a room by himself until he actually found something that would make him cry on cue.

And I think what it was was something that was actually a nice memory.

It was a happy memory that made him cry.

So it was something unexpected.

So within this example,

There are a couple of things.

One is what works for other people and what makes other people feel happy and safe and healthy and strong might not work for you.

And I encourage you to be open to being surprised.

And as you continue practicing this meditation,

Actually recognizing in your day to day what actually brings you joy.

And it might be surprising to you.

The other part of it is about cultivating emotions.

I think actors do this quite a bit.

My background was in acting.

And when actors have to bring up a particular emotion,

Often they'll use content from their own life.

When the script might not speak to them,

They think about something that brings up a similar emotion to that which is needed in the scene and prime themselves for that.

And I think actors in general can have this emotional availability because they're practicing lighting up those parts of the brain that all the time.

So second quick story.

This is about Mingyur Rinpoche.

He's a famous Tibetan monk.

He did his first three year retreat when he was like nine or 13 years old or something like that.

And has done a number of three,

Four year retreats.

Well known meditation teacher.

He's fantastic.

They were doing some research about loving kindness.

And what they did is hooked up his brain to a EEG machine.

They were measuring the effects of a loving kindness meditation.

Once they put all the things on his head,

They asked him,

Okay,

Now Mingyur,

Go for it.

Start the loving kindness meditation.

And everything went haywire.

And they thought,

Oh no,

Don't move Mingyur because when you move,

It messes everything up.

And he was just sitting there still.

And it ended up taking them hours to figure out what was going on.

But they asked him to start,

Then stop,

Then start,

Then stop.

And what they realized was the incredible activity that they were seeing in his brain,

It wasn't an artifact.

They weren't messing up.

What was really happening was they were experiencing,

They were seeing a level of control and activity in the part of the brain that has to do with positive emotion that was far beyond what they had experienced previously with regular people.

And they were totally shocked.

They put this paper out.

Mingyur Rinpoche was on cover of Time magazine and all this stuff.

But then after this experiment,

They did it with another monk.

And then another monk.

And then they did it with long-term practitioners.

What they found is they could all do the same thing to a certain degree.

And then they took people who hadn't practiced loving kindness meditation and they asked them to train for a certain period of time and found out,

Wow,

They can do this too.

They can just light up that part of the brain at will.

And what they found was in about eight hours of cumulative practice,

So it's relatively small,

Especially if you're meditating an hour a day,

Half hour a day,

You can develop the ability to really turn on this positive emotion in your mind.

It really becomes a choice at that time that you can feel better in any moment.

And I think it's experiences like this and being able to develop the muscle to break through our habitual ways of being in the world and specifically feeling.

And when we do that,

It breaks our perception of ourself.

And you talk about non-self.

It's a conceptual thing,

But when you have this type of experience,

That's what really breaks it.

And that comes from developing muscle.

So it's something that you can really do.

So what I'd like to do is jump into one of those meditations right now.

So what we can do is starting the meditation in a similar way as previous meditations.

And I'd like you to bring your awareness to what you can see.

And just checking in with your sense of sight.

Using different colors,

Shapes,

Light and shadow.

And then letting your attention rest.

And bringing your awareness to your sense of hearing.

Using the sounds of your environment,

Sounds that are far away,

Nearby.

Sometimes your own body is making.

And then coming to your body.

Noticing the shape of your body.

Noticing where your arms are and hands and fingers are.

Shape of your spine,

Your posture.

Where your legs are and feeling clothing on the body.

Feeling sensation in your feet and legs.

Feeling tingling,

Temperature,

Pressure,

And clothing.

Feeling yourself seated or if you're laying down,

Noticing that.

And then feeling the movement of your body breathing.

Feeling sensations in your hands and fingers.

Your arms and shoulders.

Feeling sensations in your facial muscles,

Around your eyes,

Forehead,

Cheeks,

Jaw,

Lips and chin,

Teeth,

Gums and tongue,

Throat.

Feelings in your stomach and coming to an awareness around the heart.

And allowing any emotional feelings to be there or not.

Just noticing what is there.

And just being aware that there's a whole variety of emotional feelings that are beyond our language.

So there's lots of subtle feelings that can be there.

Come and go.

When we talk with loved ones or we,

Friends,

Family,

Think about ourselves,

We might have little emotional feelings that come and go all the time.

So allowing those subtle feelings to be there as well around the heart,

Stomach area.

And as we go through this loving kindness meditation,

I'm going to bring to mind a few things.

And we'll do this through phrases.

The first phrase is,

May I be happy and peaceful in my heart and mind.

The second phrase is,

May I be healthy and strong in my body.

The third one is,

May I be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.

And lastly,

May I accept myself just the way I am and live my life in ease.

So those are the phrases we're eventually going to land on.

But before we do that,

We might want to do some preparation around this meditation.

So start opening up the heart and you might be able to do that with an experience of forgiveness.

So sort of thinking along with me,

Maybe you've been saying this out loud to yourself or internally.

If I have intentionally or unintentionally,

Knowingly or unknowingly brought harm to someone in my life,

May they forgive me.

Just thinking about what that would be like.

If I have intentionally or unintentionally brought harm to someone else in my life,

May they forgive me.

And if someone has intentionally or unintentionally brought harm or difficulty to my life,

May I freely forgive them.

And if that doesn't feel right to you,

You can also say,

May I aspire to freely forgive them.

And then lastly,

If I have intentionally or unintentionally,

Knowingly or unknowingly brought harm or suffering to my own life,

May I freely forgive myself.

If I have intentionally or unintentionally,

Knowingly or unknowingly brought harm or difficulty to my own life,

May I freely forgive myself.

And then what I'd like to do is come to these phrases and as you go through the phrases,

I'd like you to think about something that is really true.

The first phrase is,

May I be happy and peaceful in my heart and mind.

And what I'd like you to do is think about something,

A time when you really did feel happy and peaceful in your heart and mind or at times when you do.

And as soon as you find one,

As soon as you get a felt experience,

You can say that phrase to yourself,

May I be happy and peaceful in my heart and mind just like that.

More and more in my life.

May I be happy and peaceful in my heart and mind.

May I be happy and peaceful in my heart and mind.

Really allowing that felt experience to be there.

And it's helpful when you think more specifically.

So what exactly,

What did you feel in that situation?

What did somebody say to you?

What was the look on their face?

What was the piece of it that allowed you to feel open,

That allowed you to feel safe,

That allowed you to feel happy in your heart and mind.

And then coming to the next phrase,

Which is,

May I be healthy and strong in my body.

So this might be a different feeling.

We thrive as individuals in different ways.

Healthy and strong.

When you feel healthy and strong,

Capable in your body.

It's a moment when you feel like that.

And again,

Really embodying that.

Was it during exercise?

Was it just being capable,

Being able to do something in your day to day?

Was it around somebody else?

It's the look somebody gave you,

Something someone said.

Was it a physical sensation?

Can you embody that?

May I be healthy and strong in my body,

Just like that.

And really allowing that felt sense,

Going for that felt sense and not just a thought of it,

Really feeling healthy and strong in my body.

We're getting all those parts of the brain going to have that experience.

Healthy and strong in my body.

And then the next phrase,

Again,

Is another element of thriving as a human being.

May I be safe and protected.

You know,

Who is your tribe?

Who do you feel at ease around?

When do you feel safe?

It could be when you're alone by yourself.

It's a moment when you felt like that.

Be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.

So when are you kind to yourself as well?

Maybe it was a time you made a decision you felt sure about and you were supported by other people.

Maybe it's when you're in somebody's arms.

Maybe it's when you are in meditation.

When do you feel safe and protected from inner and outer harm?

When's a moment?

Could be in your bed.

Could be in meditation.

Could be with someone.

Could be after a success.

Maybe working,

Doing something you're good at.

Getting to that felt experience.

Feeling settled.

You can let go.

And then the last phrase,

May I accept myself just the way I am and live my life in ease.

Loving yourself just the way you are.

Can this be enough?

Can how you are right now,

Right in this moment be enough?

You don't have to do anything else.

Can this just be enough?

So I'm going to go through these phrases again.

And as I go through,

You can say them to yourself sort of silently and again have that experience.

Think of that moment.

Think of those felt feelings,

That felt experience.

Playing this through or activating those parts of our of our mind.

And this feeling of thriving as a person,

Loving kindness.

Being open to what we need as a person.

May I be happy and peaceful in my heart and mind.

May I be healthy and strong in my body.

May I be safe and protected from inner and outer harm.

And may I accept myself just the way I am and live my life in ease.

Go through again and this time I'm going to shorten the phrases a little bit.

I'd like you to still come back to that felt experience.

May I be happy and peaceful.

May I be healthy and strong.

May I be safe and protected.

May I accept myself.

Happy and peaceful,

Healthy and strong,

Safe and protected,

Accepting myself.

Feeling that sense of thriving as an individual,

As a person,

A sense of well-being.

Can I wish that for myself?

Surround myself with the environment that supports that,

With the people,

The situations,

Actions that bring those feelings to my body,

To my being,

To my mind,

To my heart.

You can just breathe that in,

Soak in that experience of loving kindness.

And bringing that to others as well.

So thinking about those close to you,

May they be happy and peaceful in their heart and mind.

People that you want to,

People that you want to wish that towards.

My family,

My friends,

And think about people specifically.

May they be happy,

Peaceful in their heart and mind.

I'd like you to imagine what that would be like for them.

What would be the look on their face?

What might they do differently?

So just picking one person you have a positive relationship with.

May they be happy and peaceful in their heart and mind.

May they be healthy and strong in their body.

Safe and protected.

Accepting themselves.

And really expanding that outward.

So expanding that to people,

Maybe even in your physical location,

Your building,

Your house.

May they be happy and peaceful in their heart and mind,

Healthy and strong.

May they thrive.

This feeling may all come together as one sensation.

Wishing well.

Wishing other people to thrive,

Other beings.

Allowing that to grow inside of you and breathing it in.

Everybody in my town be happy and peaceful,

Healthy and strong,

Safe and protected.

Accepting themselves just the way that they are.

They thrive as individuals.

As a community.

Like country,

City,

State.

Six letting that expand past the limits of your body.

Letting that feeling expand,

Expand,

Expand.

May all beings be happy and peaceful.

May they thrive.

Doing what they need to do to live and be happy.

Beyond the boundaries of shoulds and shoulds and cultural norms and really wishing well.

All beings.

Savoring that feeling,

Allowing it to continue to grow and burn the breath.

As that feeling grows again,

You can think about specific people again.

May they be happy.

Imagine what that would do if they grew this feeling inside of them.

Seeing them be happy,

Full of understanding and joy,

Grounded,

Thriving.

Truly what they need.

Not a fake happiness,

A truly grounded,

Earthy happiness,

Peacefulness.

Continuing to come back to this feeling.

That well wishing.

It's that action of well wishing for yourself and for others that continues this feeling growing.

This active meditation.

May all beings.

May all beings be happy and peaceful and healthy and strong and safe and protected,

Accepting themselves.

And for the rest of this meditation,

You can continue with this loving kindness feeling,

Well wishing.

Really doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and to thrive in your meditation practice.

And enjoy the rest of your meditation.