On The Other Side Of Fear Is Joy

Fear and anxiety are rampant these days, but what if they were messages that you're close to the other side, which is joy? An anxiety attack or fear is your body's response and it's trying to get your attention. The moment you lean into that you start to get excited to feel fear. Something wonderful is right around the corner!

Transcript

I'm going to take a moment and talk about fear.

For most of my life,

I ran from it.

Now don't get me wrong,

Fear can be really helpful,

Well it is always helpful,

But it can be really helpful if a bear is chasing you,

As we've talked about before.

You don't run from a bear.

I've had personal experience in Gallinbury with a bear once,

And I did run after it popped out of a garbage disposal.

I did run,

But you're not supposed to,

So don't run,

And that's just my advice.

Long story.

The idea of fear being a bad thing is what's kind of how it's been driven into us for our entire life.

But it doesn't have to be,

And there's studies that have shown that fear and that same kind of butterfly-y nod in your stomach actually is what leads to joy,

Or what leads to experiences that you've never had,

That you didn't know that you wanted to have.

How awesome is that?

And I think that when we look at fear,

When you think about that word,

It's immediately triggering.

It's like,

Oh my god,

Oh my god,

Oh my god,

I'm going to die,

The monster's going to come out from under my bed.

All these things that's bred into us for society,

Or for how we were raised,

But it's actually beautiful.

And I think that you can look at moments in your life,

I mean,

There are people that are scared of heights,

And elevators,

And all that stuff is just things that have happened to them in their past,

Their ancestral past.

Just anything that's like,

That's living inside of them as a trauma that's creating this fear.

I don't have a lot of experience with that.

I don't really have those kind of fears.

A lot of my fears exist around leaving comfort,

Or taking risks,

Like putting this Praetorholics thing together.

That's fear for me,

For sure,

To put my face on this video and share some of my true stories and things that I've experienced.

But I know that on the other side of it,

This is going to be really beautiful,

Because I've had some really interesting experiences with fear.

And whether it's,

You're standing on a,

Standing on top of a cliff and you jump into the water and you're just elated that you've experienced that.

I mean,

There's so many ways that we can look at fear.

Or it can be putting on running shoes and running a mile.

You've never run before,

But you're scared and you did it and you feel great.

Fear can be really,

Really special.

And there's one moment that I had in my life which kind of converted me in that respect.

Such a homebody,

Such an introvert.

I love my house here in Nashville.

It's one of my favorite spaces to be.

I love being here.

I have a cat named Ping and we hang out and it's great.

I've got my studio here that I make music in.

And leaving it to go places,

It's leaving that comfort.

It's leaving that safety place.

And I decided to drive across Canada a few years back.

Early on in kind of my self-growth,

It was kind of a rite of passage thing for me.

I've been really,

Really wanting to do it.

And when I say drive across Canada,

I went from Toronto to Vancouver.

There's this movie called One Week that came out with Joshua Jackson and he was about my age at the time.

Got a diagnosis for cancer and decided to get a motorcycle and drive across Canada.

And I'd been obsessed with that movie.

I was really missing my country and I just wanted to experience that drive.

I've done it in a tour bus a few times,

But I've never like just put my stuff in a car and drove.

So I put my music gear in the car so I could write songs along the way.

I put some photography stuff in the car.

You know,

All the things that I could fit in my car.

And I remember the feeling.

My cat went to my cat sitters,

The house was quiet,

The house was empty.

And I remember getting in the car and backing out.

And I know this is,

There's so many other things to fear,

But it was a moment where I literally felt,

Not frozen,

But I felt that intuition of you're doing something that's not safe.

You're doing something that's not safe.

You're leaving this house of yours,

You're leaving this safe space.

And I was,

For the first time in my life,

I was able to check in with my body,

Which we're going to talk a lot more about as the videos go along.

But I checked in and I said,

Okay,

Well,

Yeah,

You're scared.

You're scared.

You're leaving this comfort.

You're about to drive all alone across vast spaces that are empty by yourself in your car.

You don't have the comforts of your house and Netflix and your cat and it's,

It's going to be tough.

And I drove away.

And that experience is one of the greatest experiences I've ever had in my life.

And ever since that experience,

I look back on that moment in the car as I was watching my house pass to my right.

And I said to myself,

Every time I have that fear feeling,

I want to check in and I want to say to it,

Thank you.

Thank you for being there.

What is the joy that's possible on the other side of that?

One of my favorite,

Favorite things that I've read recently about fear,

Charlotte Joko Beck speaks about this.

She's a Zen Buddhist teacher who unfortunately has passed.

She's all about,

And Pema Chodron as well,

Too,

When there's a great book called When Things Fall Apart.

And her concept is actually a little bit more,

More simple to understand.

If we think about sitting on that middle space,

That razor's edge,

And if we think about joy and fear on either side,

If we swing back and forth like a pendulum,

That's just not a healthy space to be.

I want to feel joy.

I want to feel.

.

.

Oh,

No,

That leads to fear.

Then I'm back in joy.

But if we sit in the middle and if we go.

.

.

Both of those things are beautiful,

And both of those things have a message.

Both of those things have a space that's going to lead to something else or lead to an experience.

If you're fearful of something,

That could always mean.

.

.

That's the opposite of joy.

If you're feeling joy,

Fear could come.

But if you sit in the middle of that and you feel both of them as the same gift,

Then you've really started to rewire your brain so that when life pops up and it's difficult,

Or life pops up and you feel joy,

You don't get too up and down and up and down and up and down.

And as creatives,

We have a tendency to get up and down and up and down and up and down.

One day we're feeling great.

One day we're feeling crappy.

But I think that there's a way that you can really work on checking in with your body to know that either side is safe.

Either side is peaceful.

And either side could lead to the other side.

You don't know.

And maybe there's a message in those sides.

Maybe there's a message in the joy that's saying,

You're on the right path.

Maybe there's a message in the fear that's saying,

You're about to be on the right path.

Or hey,

Run from the bear.

But what a beautiful message.

It's trying to save you.

It's trying to help you.

Fear is there for a reason.

It just needs to be utilized in the right way.

So I urge you as you go through your day to look at some of the things that you're fearful of.

And it could be so simple.

You know what?

The things that you're scared of and I'm scared of are so different.

I love running.

Like,

I love running.

It's one of my most favorite things ever.

And I just ran a half marathon a couple weeks ago.

And I literally sat with a friend who was so fearful of working out that he literally was fearing dying just working out.

I can understand that and empathize with that and go,

Well,

I felt this fear of dying when I was leaving my home and going to Canada to drive across this country that I love,

But I don't know.

So our fears are all different,

But none of them are any more important or less important.

They're just there for a message.

And if you can push through the fears and live in that middle,

Middle way,

I really believe that life can be a lot more peaceful.

And I think that's the goal,

At least for me.

I mean,

I may not be your goal,

But my goal is peace.

I just want to be at peace with suffering and I want to be at peace with joy.

I want to be at peace with fear.

I want to look at the messages these things are bringing so that that peace exists inside of me.

So,

On that note,

Peace and love from me to you,

And I will speak with you soon.

Reviews

Thank you so much for this insightful, truly helpful and resonating piece. Less see - sawing would be good!
Peace and love to you.

Well explained, thank you for that new perspective. It’s really helpful 🙏

Great message! Your message resonates with me. Your presentation is joyful. Thank you.🌻

I’m a humble thankful Christian actor singer with kindes and a purpose to inspire people amen and so it is