During this track,
I'm going to give you new perspective on boundaries and guide you through some mantras with the intention to empower you in your yes and your no.
To me,
Boundaries have always been this elusive thing that people glaze over.
In my experience,
No one had ever taught me how to navigate them.
By definition,
A boundary is something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.
To me,
A boundary is an energetic line that is collectively or individually set.
It is created from our values,
Beliefs,
Or even our social constructs.
Our boundaries can be both conscious and unconscious.
They change and evolve as we grow and expand in our lives.
Boundaries can shift as we are in different scenarios or environments.
Sometimes,
We don't create boundaries for ourselves out of fear or guilt,
And sometimes it's our lack of intention in our moments.
Maybe we hold this sense in our being that by having a boundary and enforcing it by saying no to someone else,
We are being negatively selfish.
Or maybe we think that by holding and enforcing our boundary,
We're going to hurt the other person.
When our guilt forces us to say yes,
We usually end up hurting ourselves.
It could be something as small as giving up a few hours in our day,
Or maybe something larger regarding compromising our dreams or lifestyle.
Imagine setting and enforcing boundaries as a muscle.
If you've never been to the gym before,
It would be really difficult to lift and move a heavy weight.
So what do you do?
You start small.
You start by doing a little bit of weight a few times a week,
Slowly getting stronger with each time you attend.
The more that you work and move that muscle,
The stronger it gets.
The same thing here works for boundaries.
Discovering what is in alignment to you,
Checking in with yourself,
And beginning first with saying no to small things.
Then exercising that muscle more regularly,
You will get stronger in your now.
Beginning to live,
Show up,
And speak in integrity.
When we say yes to things we don't want to,
Usually it creates a negative inner dialogue.
This negative energy then dwells inside.
It may sound like,
Why am I doing this?
Uh,
This is stupid.
Or sometimes we even try to blame or experience resentment towards another person because we did not stand up for ourselves.
Does this sound familiar at all?
Deploy compassion for yourself in this moment.
Forgive yourself for the times that you've done things out of alignment,
Both large and small.
Know that you are doing the best with what you have,
And that's all you can do.
Remember,
Many things in life are practices.
They are things we engage in slowly over time and get better at in that time.
You're doing great.
Now for some mantras.
With the following,
You are more than welcome to repeat these aloud or in your mind.
If it feels better just to let your being soak them in,
Then that works too.
I can always create healthy boundaries.
Before making any decisions,
I check in with myself to see if I am a yes or a no.
I am intentional with my yes.
I choose discomfort over resentment and negativity.
Although I may say no to others,
I am saying yes to myself.
If I am not 100% yes,
I am a no.
I feel strong in my no.
In the closing of this track,
I want to invite you to practice your no with things and negotiate to find a mutual yes.
Think about it like this.
In a yoga pose,
There is a basic pose,
And then the ability to make it more difficult.
If you can't quite do the basic pose,
You can modify it.
Imagine yourself in a scenario with someone and they make a request or express a desire.
Their request isn't a fit for you.
In that moment,
You can use your no by saying,
No,
Not today.
If the original request doesn't fit,
Yet you are willing to engage with that person in a different way,
You can begin to negotiate to find a mutual yes.
You could do this by saying,
No,
Not today,
But next month would be better.
In that moment,
You made a modification.
You are still holding your boundary,
Yet made a slight change to make it feel better for you.
Brene Brown says,
Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.
Truth and courage aren't always comfortable,
But they are never weakness.
With that,
Embrace your power even when your voice shakes.
Be strong in your no and your yes.
You got this.
