Deepening Presence - Day 5

This is a recording of a live event: Day 5 of Five Day Meditation Retreat focused on improving your daily practice, deepening inner peace and connecting with the true self. Each session will include a brief intro, guided meditation and Q&A.

Transcript

Welcome to day five,

Final day of DeepKneeling presence meditation retreat here on Insight timer.

Welcome everyone.

I'll welcome all of you who attended the past four days and those of you who are here for the first time.

It doesn't really matter.

Welcome.

Make yourself feel comfortable.

I'll give you a moment to settle down and get ready.

And as you do it,

I will just remind you what is the purpose of this mindfulness retreat.

We are here to deepen presence,

Which means to come back to yourself for a moment and deepen that connection with whoever you are.

And if that connection is already there,

Deepen that connection.

Discover a bit more about yourself.

So welcome.

Let me check who's here today.

Good morning,

Sandy.

Hello,

Caroline.

Very well.

Welcome to Jane from Scotland.

Basia,

Natalia,

Liz,

Jessica,

Dorothy.

As a tradition,

I always ask who's here for the first time.

So please raise your hand and say first timer.

And those of you,

As you know,

Who are here,

Who are here before,

Please welcome those first timers.

Morgan first timer.

Fantastic.

Hello,

Diana from Washington.

Leslie.

Hello,

Sharon.

Good to see you.

And guest is here.

I wonder if it's the same guest as yesterday.

First time.

First timer.

Susie,

Susan.

Jacqueline.

I hope I pronounce your name properly here for the first time.

Katie.

Definitely not the first timer.

Hello,

Katie.

How are you today?

So.

Since today is the last day of the retreat,

I just want to summarize what we were talking about.

And as in the past four days,

But the emphasis on the practice and the meditation that is the integral part of every retreat.

You retreating into self,

So to speak,

Retreating into presence,

Which is the metaphor for self.

The presence is you.

And that's what we're discovering during this retreat.

And over the past four days,

There are a couple of themes that fit nicely into the topic of deepening the presence to make it more tangible and more valid for your everyday living.

As I said throughout the through throughout this retreat,

I intend this to be an extension to your everyday activity.

As opposed to being a one of meditation practice that is contained within this session.

I invite you to carry on your presence throughout the day and see how that presence infuses every and each of your activities.

So one of the big themes of this series was switching from doing into being.

And what I mean by that is not to abandon all the activities and simply sit.

What I'm talking about is to put emphasis on being as a source of your doing.

So when you become when you are as a human being,

First and foremost,

You are yourself.

The essence.

And once connected with it,

The every activity,

All the doings.

All the activities throughout the day,

They flow smoother because they are aligned with your true self as opposed to.

And that's another big topic.

As opposed to your acquired identities,

Ego identities.

Perhaps you identify yourself as a mother,

As a father,

Son,

Daughter.

Then you go to work and put a head of a of a professional and then you may be a friend.

And then you go and join a meeting and you put on all those different hats.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

The question is whether that being an essence of you.

Is engaged during that time,

Or is it a superficially acquired mask or pattern that we are not aligned with?

That's where all the as we know,

All the suffering is coming from.

Hello,

Diane.

Hello,

Kavita.

I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it.

Sandy.

Karen,

I think I welcome you already.

Beautiful.

So indeed,

Coming back home and resting or making a retreat to presence is what we've been trying to achieve.

I mean,

Achieve,

Deepen because it's already there and there's nothing to be achieved.

Maybe that's another important thing.

Presence is there.

For us,

It's only to make a stronger connection with it.

And through that,

Once again,

Infuse every action and every task that happens throughout the day.

And if I may share just my personal experience of it is during this very moment when I talk to you,

There is a balance between the intellectual me.

I call it the professor that helps me to speak these words and put those words in a forum that will reach you,

Will inspire you.

We create,

Not create the change,

But helps you catalyze the movement towards the presence.

And at the same time,

There's a presence in me from which all of this flows.

And every time I remember to actually put the space between the words and get out of my head,

You will notice that the way I speak will slightly change.

And this is,

I want to walk my talk and introduce you to the practical part,

How this really works,

How presence infuses everything that we do,

Because it's the foundation of who we are,

As opposed to what we are made to believe,

All the roles that we take throughout the life.

If at any point,

This is day five,

So if at any point you have any questions related to what we were talking about or comments,

Please,

By all means,

Put them here in the comment section.

Hello,

V,

You are not late.

Good to see you.

So as I said,

Moving,

Main themes,

Moving from doing into being.

Coming back home.

Coming back home into presence.

What is home?

Home is true self.

And we are not selves when we are driven by compulsive,

Habitual thoughts.

When we are driven by ego identity,

Which becomes our master as opposed to being our servant.

Healthy ego is important to be part of the society and to act accordingly.

But it's not the main source of who we are.

And it is not who we are.

So coming back home from that false identity with all the patterns that are being following throughout life.

Recognizing limiting belief systems.

That's what happens when you choose to sit for a moment.

It starts with when you sit,

You start asking yourself,

Do I need to act this way in order to be myself?

In order to truly express myself.

When you go to work,

When you meet your friends,

Do you feel yourself?

And if he doesn't,

How does it make you feel?

What is the cost of,

Again,

Subscribing to those limiting belief systems?

So once we recognize them through deepening the presence and presence,

All this work happens in the present moment and in the presence.

So this is the important part to recognize.

If you are not present,

You won't be able to recognize those patterns.

You will be simply following them mindlessly,

Unconsciously.

And that's part of the issue because then we suffer.

It becomes pain.

We spoke about it.

The disconnection from one part and the other.

And once we recognize those limiting belief systems in the present,

We are able to step out of those identifications.

Another big theme of this retreat.

Stepping out of what we learn to be.

That sometimes is aligned with the true self,

But very often is not.

And once we recognize it,

We can step out slowly.

This is a gradual process.

We cannot just all of the sudden in the inspiration inspired by all this,

Just walk out and tear our clothes and say this who I am.

Free.

Now this is a gradual process.

Where you recognize all the aspects,

The recognition and becoming is the essence and nature of this work that happens here.

It cannot happen within one day.

That's why I decided to make five days.

And after those five days,

The work continues,

Obviously.

But certainly stepping out of identifications.

This is another outcome of deepening the presence.

The work of self-inquiry.

Who am I?

Am I truly myself?

Am I in myself?

And finally,

Discovering what truly drives you.

Once you're in,

Once you arrived,

Once you feel at home.

You may pose this question.

What do I really need?

I don't even want to use the word want.

Because according to some sages,

There are two ways of making yourself unhappy.

To get what you want.

And not get what you want.

Both ways you're going to be unhappy.

If you finally get what you want.

And when you don't get what you want.

Both situations apparently make you unhappy.

However,

In the presence you recognize that everything that you ever searched for.

And again,

I'm sure that's your experience in meditation at some point.

At least having glimpses of it.

That you have arrived.

There's no need for the external validation.

There's no need for external stuff.

All the tasks that we perform,

They kind of become.

.

.

You ask yourself a question.

Why were you bothered with it for so many years?

And this is for so many of you,

I'm sure.

Raise your hand if you resonate with what I say.

After so many years of work and commitment,

You finally realize that,

Huh,

I didn't really have to do that.

And many people quit their jobs.

And they changed their career paths.

Because they recognized that it was not them.

They just took upon themselves some pattern that was presented to them.

Either at school or by the parents or by the friends.

Whatever that is.

They're stepping out and start living being themselves.

Or they start being rather than doing and identifying yourself with it.

Yeah,

I can see that,

Diana,

I'm thinking about this now.

This is a very normal thing to consider.

That's the nature of presence.

When we start considering the self,

Again,

Coming from unconscious to conscious.

Presence is conscious.

Not being present and going on autopilot is unconscious.

Yeah,

Diana says,

I used to spend most of my life in a constant state of striving.

This is something I resonate with.

I'm still working with it.

This is still work in progress.

I'm not a final product.

But even here,

With the inside timer,

On my mind,

The thoughts come.

I should start new life,

New course,

Record new meditation.

And I ask myself,

Am I really in a state where I can do it?

Or has it come from that part of me,

The belief system or limiting belief?

Or that identification that I'm a teacher,

So I should do this or should do that?

And then presence comes first,

Come back to myself,

Relax into it.

What is going to happen if I don't do it?

And if I do it,

Why am I doing it?

The presence always invites us to ask question why.

What is the motivation behind the action?

Remember the famous quote by Viktor Frankl,

Between the stimulus and the response,

There is a space.

In that space,

There is our freedom and our growth without creating that space between the thought that comes to my mind and the response.

Without that space,

There's no consciousness.

That space creates or invites consciousness.

And that's where our actions become more informed.

Jacqueline also says,

I did it sometimes in my life.

Nadine jumps in.

Ann.

Liz.

I agree it is good.

And I certainly will put that in my group.

But the words and another theme of what we have been doing here is it is not enough to hear pleasant quotes that stir something inside of us.

It is not enough.

We hear those quotes when you every time you open insight timer,

There is a quote,

Inspirational quote,

And you look at it like,

Ah,

Yes,

That is very true.

You know,

Then you smile and and that's the end of it.

For me,

For instance,

I stopped reading new books.

I put aside the whole pile of books that I downloaded and I purchased and and I said to myself,

I have to come back to what I have already read because I I've realized that I read so much.

But I included so very little in my present.

In my presence,

In my being.

I feel inspired for a moment or two,

And then I get into the habit of being excited and nothing stays.

So in a moment,

We will jump into meditation when we try to consider when the rabbit hits the road.

But rather than talking about deepening the presence,

We will deepen the presence and we will find in this very moment that it might not be necessarily pleasant thing.

It sounds good or it feels good to listen about deepening the presence,

But deepening the presence you may find challenging.

And this is another thing that I I'm sure you found when we were practicing over the past four days.

It is a challenge because all those things,

Thoughts,

Emotions,

Past,

Future,

They come rushing in and they disturb that presence and say,

Oh,

No,

I would like to get to present,

But I cannot.

Well,

If you practice being unconscious for most time of your life.

I raise my hands because I certainly I spend most of my life being unconscious.

You can't be surprised that all of the sudden going into that present moment is not easy.

It takes practice.

Reconnecting with like with if you lost your friends,

You know,

Just give a call like,

Hey,

Let's hang up.

Let's hang out.

No.

You need to slowly approach and all about this.

What about that?

And you reconnect in the same way you reconnect with your true self to present slowly.

I remember first time I meditated years and years ago,

Thousand and.

Eight in the group,

We were learning centering prayer and we asked to sit in silence for five minutes.

It was a torture.

When I came out of those five minutes of silence,

I thought that that I'm never going to do it again.

Because that's what my mind told me.

You know,

Your ego identity,

All those thought patterns will tell you,

No,

You cannot sit for five,

10,

20,

30,

Let alone an hour.

And the same way you cannot exercise,

You cannot eat well.

All those patterns,

All those thoughts that's coming.

No,

It's not worth it.

You can't I can't make it.

Maybe somebody else can.

I can.

Now,

You all can.

We all can do it.

It's the matter of.

Going through the challenge of getting there.

Diana says,

It's hard for me to keep up with the meditation practice,

But I'm trying.

It is hard and we acknowledge that in every single moment,

It is challenging.

Challenge is a part of our humanity.

It's a part of growth.

If any of you have that idea,

Again,

Limiting belief system that at some point of the meditation or life,

You can just settle,

Settle in and and retire from life.

You already put yourself in a position in the lost position.

Some people,

Some people want to retire early.

All right.

This is the goal.

Save up a lot of money and retire.

I think retirement,

It's one of the most abused and wrong.

A concept there is because there's no retirement from life.

There's no retirement from self.

You might change jobs or do different things,

But there's no such thing as retirement.

Our concept that that constant striving that the system that we live in.

Makes us believe.

Work really,

Really hard.

Work,

Work,

Work.

And when the number comes,

Whatever number is different countries,

Different numbers,

It's 60,

65,

Maybe 70.

When that number comes,

Your number comes up and then finally can settle.

You can settle down like,

Yes,

Now my life begins.

And I can give an example of my parents.

The number came actually quite early and nothing changed.

Nothing really changed.

Because just because just because someone told us that we're going to feel a certain way doesn't mean that we will.

Hmm.

But anyway,

This is just my rambling around,

Maybe more philosophical than anything that comes from my own experience.

But I'll be curious to know about your experience.

And yeah,

We have group.

Conscious living.

Group that I started,

I renamed my circle a few times and and I think we landed on conscious living collective where we pose those questions and you write your comments and then we see where where does it lead us?

Liz says our life can begin in this moment again.

A great statement,

Which I fully agree with.

Putting that into action.

Oh,

That's another story.

OK,

So let's do it.

This is the time we get together.

Another big theme of this five day retreat coming together.

Very important.

When you feel alone by yourself,

At least when you have a perception of that,

Things become much more difficult.

And historically,

We once we collaborate on something,

We do things much better.

And I want to put that idea right here.

We come together from around the world and meditate together.

Infuse our our doing with presence.

All right.

So I always begin meditation with checking in.

With a basic comfort of my body.

I may take a deeper breath.

To relax muscles around my chest.

See if I'm comfortable enough to invite presence so I don't need to focus on the physical.

At least not my main focus.

Move my focus from the physical discomfort into inner workings and inner senses.

And usually it helps me to rest my feet on the floor.

My hands open in my lap.

Bring microphone a bit closer so you can hear me even better.

Because my voice.

May become quieter.

And allow my eyes to close.

And that immediately brings me back.

Or brings me inside.

And helps me to engage inner senses.

I may roll my shoulders.

Definitely make sure that my jaw is relaxed.

My joy stance that it's in the it is an indication to me.

That I hold a lot of emotional baggage.

So I intentionally relax it.

Make my jaw go limp.

And I invite a sense of presence.

Presence to first of all the physical layer.

Whatever my body presents me with.

Maybe there's still some discomfort.

Maybe an itch or an ache.

And at this stage you simply allow it to be.

Make it a part of deepening the presence.

Because you can deepen the presence through.

Focusing on anything.

Including aches and discomforts.

And presence will transform it.

That's the essence of presence.

It's ability to transform.

And show us the true reality underneath the superficial layer.

So another way of putting it is.

We are here to peel the superficial layers.

Of the false self limiting belief systems.

Ego identity.

And as we peel slowly and methodically.

Those layers.

We discover there's something inside that is more fundamental.

And at first it appears only as a glimpse.

Maybe a sense.

Very faint.

But the more we invite that notion of true self.

Coming back home.

The more it presents itself.

And I recognize that I am not here alone.

But all of you are here by my side.

Co-creating this space.

Making this possible.

Making this experience even deeper.

And also I here.

As a presence.

All the space for you.

Being by your side.

So we collectively individually.

For one another.

Create.

The space for presence.

And you will find that.

Just because we want to connect with the self and deepen the presence.

Doesn't mean that this immediately happens.

The usual challenges will come.

Thoughts.

Emotions.

Feelings.

Some things from the past.

Anticipation of the future.

In my case the professor.

A constant commentary.

To what is happening.

And I choose to take all of that for a ride with me.

Not trying to destroy it.

Resist it.

Simply acknowledging.

That this is part of my experience.

But it is not me.

I'm capable of experiencing of all of it.

But who is it that is the experiencer?

You can discover that through presence.

Through the process of inquiry.

Moving slowly from one layer to another.

Patently.

And you may perceive it.

As a fixed substance.

Silver or gold.

Began somewhere in your chest.

At any point in your body.

And then expands.

Beyond the boundaries of the physical body.

To the point that.

You lose.

The connection with your physical body.

And you become the presence.

Starts with glimpses.

And then slowly expands.

You may perceive how dynamic it is.

Moving.

Not in that physical sense but.

Through the engagement with inner senses.

Recognize that you have already arrived.

In spite of everything else that comes to you.

Once again all those thoughts,

Emotions.

All those things that we habitually resist.

Once you're within yourself.

You do not recognize them as negative or unpleasant.

Simply patterns.

On the canvas of your awareness.

Where presence is the main actor.

And thoughts,

Emotions.

Just props.

They serve you.

They are not you.

And you may find that there's a certain density to it.

And city and fluidity to that presence.

And you allow it to be.

You surrender to it.

More and more with each breath.

That's the process of deepening.

Slowly,

Patiently.

Allowing it more and more.

And now it is time to return.

So expand the very presence that you connect with.

Outward.

And travel with it beyond the boundaries of your physical self.

Through the surface of your skin.

Include the room around you.

The chair that you're sitting on.

Infusing all the space around you.

Now begin reconnecting with your physical senses.

Recognizing them as tools of your perception.

Not as the self.

And as we always do.

Add a gentle physical movement.

Starting with your toes.

Adding your fingers.

Slowly and gently tilt your head to the left.

Feeling the weight of your head as muscles in your neck stretch.

Gentle tilt to the right.

The same.

Weight of your head.

And muscles in your neck stretching.

Back to the center.

And finish with one deep breath in through your nose.

And out through your mouth.

And when you're ready,

Open your eyes and we'll come back.

Wonderful.

Well that felt good.

So this is it.

Just a glimpse.

A glimpse that helps me to put the puzzle of this game that is called life into place.

Organized in a slightly different way.

Thank you.

Thank you for that.

Thank you for holding space for me.

As always during this series I will ask you to describe in one word what comes to you right now after this meditation.

How do you feel?

What is your perception?

Just one word.

I'd be curious to know.

Nima,

Peaceful.

Beautiful.

And Nima also says each experience is different.

Absolutely that's very true because presence is not just one quality.

Presence can have different facets.

And we discover more and more of them.

It's not just non-quality.

I'm sorry.

It's the many qualities that we can apply it to.

Sandy is relaxed.

Karen is peaceful.

Leslie also peaceful.

Less grounded and experience reset or rested.

Diana,

Peaceful.

Jessica,

Oneness.

Wonderful.

Jacqueline,

Relaxed.

Guest,

Spasm relaxed.

Yes,

That's how presence works.

Once you put the presence to anything,

Everything is being transformed.

Basia,

Calm.

Carling,

Grateful.

And I'm grateful too.

Nadine,

Connected.

V feels the energy good.

Katie,

Gratitude.

Frances,

Calm.

So each day is different.

As you can see.

Because depends on the circumstances presence.

Present itself differently.

And that's the beauty of it.

It's always more.

Always more way to expand.

Thank you,

Diane.

And thank you,

Caroline,

For your kind support and donations.

During the sessions,

I always say that even though your donations is not the most important part.

The most important part is your presence and your attention.

This is your mental currency that you gratefully donate to me by being here.

The money also helps.

And I'm grateful for it.

I appreciate it.

Thank you so much for that kind of support.

Thank you,

V.

Yeah,

So this is it.

Day five.

We are coming towards the end.

Or I dare say towards beginning because this five day is just a catalyst to help you keep working on and keep discovering what's within you.

What drives you.

Growing,

Evolving whichever way you want to.

You want to whichever name you choose to use for this path that you're walking.

Yes.

Thank you so much.

From next week,

From next week,

Returning to Conscious Living Collective,

Which is my main weekly theme and my main weekly offering to you.

And during conscious during the sessions of Conscious Living Collective,

We discovered different topics that are relevant to our everyday well-being.

And.

I welcome you to join those sessions,

And the easiest way to do it is to go to my profile inside timer.

Follow me and click the notification button.

I know the notification has been working very well.

Many of you that followed me for years now,

They lose that connection and you do not receive notifications.

So please contact inside timer if that's the case.

But I hope to see you here.

Very soon.

And for those of you who celebrate Easter,

I wish you a happy celebration time.

Happy Easter.

For those of you who will take a break from work,

Enjoy the break.

Get some rest.

Experience more presence.

That's my wish to you in the spirit of our five day retreat.

I wish you more presence,

More being yourself,

More joyful,

Joyful being.

So for now,

I want to wish you everything.

All the best.

Sending my blessings.

And I see you next time.

Thank you for those five days that we spent together.

Until next time.

Bye bye.

Reviews

Awesome 5 day retreat. I listened in the recorded version and felt like I was there. Great appreciation for you and your knowledge and wisdom. ✌🏽🩵🙏🏽

Just experienced this today and so calming and helpful Thank you

Thank you for this wonderful retreat!
I really resonated with your words and the approach of deepening the presence. I particuarly appreciated how practical and reasonable your advices for implementing it in everyday life are.

Hi Tomek! What an encouraging mini series. Perfect timing for me since I am already working on less doing more being! I appreciate you and your work.
Blessings 💜

Thank you. I enjoyed the feeling of being present with you all. Even though it was a recording, it felt like a live session. I felt connection, peace. 💓