Dealing With Anger

In this meditation, Tomek shares with you some thoughts about the nature of anger and how to deal with it. You will learn a useful tool that you can apply when you feel overwhelmed with strong emotions.

Transcript

Hi,

My name is Tomek and I'm delighted to welcome you to this meditation.

Today I'd like to share with you some thoughts on the nature of anger and how to deal with it.

I wish you a pleasant practice.

Anger is an emotion that arises quickly and we are hardly ever ready to deal with it.

At the same time,

Everyone,

With no exceptions,

Experiences it.

Personally,

I'm particularly susceptible to this strong emotion.

My analytical mind has many triggers that are waiting to be set off and elicit a strong emotional response that is so difficult to control in the moment.

The actions that follow are hardly ever beneficial and only later I ask myself what came upon me to act this way?

What came upon me?

This is a good question that also contains the answer.

Anger is never personal,

Although it may feel this way.

Anger is a universal human condition that is a part of the collective consciousness.

You may imagine it as an energy field that indeed comes upon you.

As you step into anger,

Your mind connects with it and the angry thoughts start flowing in.

That's how our mind is programmed to work.

To connect with thoughts that are a reflection of the emotional state that we are in.

I can only speak for myself,

But oh boy,

My mind is so good in connecting with those angry thoughts.

As the tidal wave of anger passes through,

We take it very personally.

We identify with it.

The stronger the pain body,

The more vicious the thoughts.

You may even take a certain pleasure in acting on anger,

Feeling an odd satisfaction and self assurance.

The momentary surge that we feel is temporary and only feeds the illusion of power.

Soon after the wave passes,

We can see the damage it has done.

Usually at that time,

The first reflection arises.

What came upon me?

You may start feeling guilt,

Self doubt.

There must be something wrong with me.

I have to do something about it.

The truth is,

There's nothing wrong with you.

You are,

However,

Programmed to think this way.

A classic ego response.

If you are not careful,

You may spiral down into more angry thoughts.

Usually spiced with a hint of guilt and a pinge of pessimism.

What can you do instead?

Once you identified what's coming,

Start recognizing the pattern and bring awareness both to the thoughts and to the sensations in your body.

Witness what's coming your way without trying to resist it.

Remember,

What you resist,

It persists.

If there is enough presence in you,

You will be able to experience the emotion without reacting to it.

It may still feel unpleasant,

But the satisfaction from remaining yourself as the wave passes will be a sufficient gratification for your effort.

And that's how you deal with anger.

That's how you create a spiritual practice out of it.

This way,

You not only avoid the bitter consequences of angry behavior,

But most importantly,

Grow presence and spiritual strength in you.

Now let's see how this works in practice.

Begin by preparing the mental stage.

Find a comfortable position and make yourself at ease.

See if you can relax your body a little bit.

Drop your shoulders away from your ears.

Relax your jaw.

If you are sitting,

Make sure that your back is straight and you can breathe freely.

As your mind continues relaxing,

Your body will follow.

Rest your hands in your lap.

Allow your eyes to close.

This is a place in which you can feel safe,

Secure and protected from anything that may get in the way of your presence.

I am here by your side,

Guiding you,

Holding the space.

You may use a couple of deep cleansing breaths to release the remaining tension.

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth,

As if you try blowing a candle.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

Breathe normally and relax.

Wonderful.

This is a great place to start.

Now bring to mind a situation from the recent past that was particularly upsetting.

Try to remember it as vividly as possible.

Keep in mind that you created a safe environment in which you can experience the emotions of that situation without fully getting involved,

Without feeling the full impact of the emotional wave.

Also,

I am here by your side to help you experience this situation safely.

As you reconnect with this situation,

Notice the thoughts that come to your mind.

Notice the sensations inside of your body.

Perhaps you can feel tension in your chest,

Tightness in your belly,

Discomfort in your throat.

Experience all those thoughts and sensations without judging them.

If they feel particularly strong,

Simply try to stay with them to the best of your ability.

The more acceptance you bring to this situation,

The more change you will observe.

And if you are not fully ready to accept that situation from the past for what it is,

That's okay too.

This is a process,

Not an instant fix.

See if you have enough presence in you to witness everything that happens right now without judging it,

Without resisting it.

See if you can sit with the discomfort and observe for a moment how it changes.

It doesn't stay the same.

You can imagine an orb that surrounds the whole energy field,

The anger,

The upset,

The disturbance,

Everything that you experience right now.

The orb that you create can withstand all the pressure that this emotional wave creates.

See if you can witness this standing aside,

Observing without judgment,

Holding the space yourself to everything that happens.

Ask yourself right now,

Are you the thoughts that come to your mind?

Are you the emotions that you experience in your body?

You may not always be able to choose how you feel or what thoughts come to your mind,

But certainly you can choose how to act,

How to respond to whatever comes your way.

Feel right now the safe environment of this space that you created,

This space I'm helping you to hold.

See if you can master acceptance to this emotional wave and recognize it for what it is,

An emotional energy field that came upon you when you identified with the thoughts and emotions that this situation brought upon you.

Now think for a moment about all the people that may experience similar emotions.

Perhaps there are meditators like yourself right now listening to this recording,

Going through the same process.

And you holding the space not just for yourself,

But for everybody else,

Collectively dealing with the energy field of anger.

And all of a sudden this becomes not just your personal experience,

But a collective one.

And you making a valuable contribution through your effort to releasing the anger,

Not only for yourself,

But for everybody else around you,

Your friends,

Your family.

So now,

Once again,

Come back to the situation and this time try to experience it from the perspective of the collective.

How does it feel to be a part of the whole?

I'll let you practice on your own for a moment.

Keep in mind that I'm here by your side,

Holding the space for you and other meditators that are connected through this meditation.

Here it is And now it's time to return.

Let go if you may of the situation that was in your mind and bring your awareness to your physical senses.

Recognize the sounds around you.

Connect with a sense of touch.

Your feet resting on the floor.

Your hands in your lap.

Your sit bones on the chair.

And bring anything else that comes to your immediate attention through your physical senses.

Let us also add some physical movement.

Begin by wiggling your toes.

Move and stretch your fingers.

Tilt your head also slowly and gently to the left.

Reviews

Wow. I've never experienced this interesting approach. Totally fascinating.

Thanks for this meditation practice! I tend to punish myself for feeling anger. This meditation has provided me another view and confort.

Your work always resonates with me. Thank you so much.

This was very useful when I was feeling very angry and upset. Thank you Tomek.

You understand the process of getting angry really well. I still struggled with the acceptance this time, but then recalled that ‘what you resist, persists’. Thanks for including this in your meditation practices! Blessings 😊💛🙏

This is exactly what I needed, thank you, Tomek!!!!
I like the phrase “came upon me”. And I acknowledge that I am not my thoughts. Very powerful!

So very effective and comforting!! Anger can be so all consuming and having tools to manage it is wonderful...thank u! 💜🤎

I cannot put into words thr benefits of this recording/meditation. I can only say thank you so much.

So needed. Wonderful to remember that anger is human and part of the collective consciousness. This practice really helped me move through it. Thank you.

Truly transformational for me when I needed it. Thank you for holding that space for me to understand my emotions better.

Thank you so much. I feel so much better. I love how you put anger in perspective.

Extremely helpful. I'm not experiencing anger often but felt a strong surge of it today. This practice helped me accept and release the emotion. Thank you, Tomek 🙏🏻

I have struggled with anger and rage for as long as I can remember. This meditation reminds me that I am not my thoughts, nor my emotions. I can sit with uncomfortable feelings and not act on them. Thank you 🙏🏼

This is a gift that I can come back to. Thank you.

Thank u Tomek. I had such a terrible anger burst with my 4yr old this afternoon n felt guilty n horrible bout it n i jst want to b able to manage my aner differently..... he is the love of my life n i dislike how i reacted.....
I will come back to this again as i honestly think that my stress reflects on him.

Wow. This is an amazing meditation, reminder and insightful gift. Thank you, Tomek. Namaste

I can hardly believe how transformative it was to re-examine a past situation that involved intense anger in a completely different way! I really appreciated the lesson of feeling like your a part of a community and the gentle reminder that everyone living experiences emotions such as anger from time to time…I am not my emotions and they do not define who I am! Thank you so much for sharing this teaching 🙏

Thank you Tomek. Anger is a hard emotion to control.

I was so angry at the start. I don't get angry often, this overcame me. Tomek sharing his experience and the viewpoints of this meditation were immensely beneficial and I listened to it twice. Many thanks .

Yet another superb meditation from this inspiring teacher, thank you Tomek.