Welcome to this meditation.
Where we are going to be exploring social anxiety and shame.
With both compassion.
And also gentle curiosity.
As we start,
Begin by finding the most comfortable position you can.
Or the least uncomfortable position,
Depending on what's possible for you.
Checking in with the environment.
Have you got everything you need to hand?
And then we do the observations,
Which is thoughts,
Emotions,
Sensations,
Here and now.
As you settle in.
To this guided meditation.
When you're ready,
Gently softening the focus of your eyes or close your eyes,
Whatever feels most helpful to you in this moment.
So bringing to the centre of your awareness the focus of this meditation,
Which is social anxiety and shame.
These can be deeply uncomfortable feelings.
And really demanding and challenging thoughts.
So as much as you are able to.
Go gently with yourself.
And if your thoughts drift and wander,
That is absolutely alright.
You can always come back to this meditation as often as feels helpful to you.
And every now and again I will remind you to come back here.
Knowing that the topic can feel difficult to be present with.
Yeah.
So the first thing to note.
Is that we always have.
Thoughts and feelings about our thoughts and feelings.
So it is likely that you have some anxiety and shame.
About your anxiety and shame.
Most of us do not want to experience these thoughts and feelings.
So why are they showing up?
Why on earth?
Would we feel such difficult feelings and think such challenging thoughts?
Remembering that all feelings are information.
And that it's more helpful to be curious than critical.
Let's open this up.
And get curious.
So the first thing to get curious about.
Is how this is showing up.
For you.
How are you feeling about your anxiety and shame?
Where does it show up?
Is it in terms of people?
Activities.
Is it about some of your characteristics?
Just gently noticing that it's unlikely.
That your anxiety and shame are about everything.
So my invitation to you.
Is to get specific.
You may even want to go.
.
.
Hello,
Anxiety.
Hello,
Shape.
Actually naming.
That this is your experience.
Can be a step in itself.
Breathing in.
.
.
Acknowledging and recognising.
The social anxiety.
And the shame.
That you experience.
And I invite you to see this as information.
It doesn't make you a bad person.
That you have anxiety and shame.
Doesn't make you a good person either.
It just makes you somebody who's experiencing.
Anxiety and shame.
Hmm.
Okay.
So recognizing that this is an aspect of your experience,
An aspect of your reality.
It can be helpful to get curious about.
Where it's come from.
Is this something that you can.
.
.
See when it started.
Did it start with a particular event or a particular experience?
Is it something that's about your.
.
.
Gender,
Your skin color,
Your religion,
Your culture.
Your sexuality.
Is it something about your skills?
Or your hobbies and interests.
Something about your health.
Or maybe points of difference.
Maybe your body works in a different way.
Or your brain works in a different way from majority of people.
So that getting curious about,
Is this something that feels specific to me?
Or is this something that I feel like I share with others in some way,
Shape or form?
Mmm.
Shame is a feeling that is almost always about a sense of identity.
About who we perceive ourselves to be.
And so it's different from similar feelings like guilt or embarrassment.
Which are often more about behaviors.
You feel guilty about having done something or not done something,
Or you feel embarrassed by something.
The fact that shame is about our perception of who we are.
Can make it particularly strong because it's integrated.
We see it as part of who we are rather than something that we've inherited.
From others or a perception or a belief.
So breathing in.
Getting a sense of how you're relating.
To your experience of shame.
And how it affects your social fears and anxiety.
How other people.
Might be seeing.
Who you are.
Or who they perceive you to be.
Which may be an entirely different thing.
So that sense of shame and social anxiety.
Existing inner context.
Which can feel strange because shame can feel so deeply personal.
And so.
Kind of hidden,
Something that we don't want to show or share with anybody.
So opening up the possibility that there is a context to your shame.
That maybe other people are shaming you for something.
Or even just that you think that they might be shaming you for something.
Yeah.
As you become more familiar with what shame and social anxiety feels like for you,
How it shows up for you.
Pay attention to the specifics.
And that the intensity of it can vary.
Sometimes I can feel like it's all fully and 100% true.
And sometimes it can feel like it's.
.
.
Maybe not as intense or as strong.
So what is making the difference there?
And then the final component.
Which is about silence.
But the power of shame.
Is often in the fact that we keep silent about it.
That we don't share with other people because we're afraid that they're going to say,
Yes,
This is something to be ashamed of.
Where's action?
If you open up to the idea of sharing.
With somebody with whom you have trust.
You may find.
That they sigh with relief or even smile saying thank you.
Yeah,
I have that too.
Because at its heart.
.
.
Shame is about whether we feel like we belong or not.
And when we're feeling shame.
It's often because we feel like we don't belong.
Or that we're being rejected by whatever group that we feel ourselves to be a part of or we would like to be a part of.
So when we start to.
.
.
So experiment with speaking up.
We can find.
Then not only does it ease the shame itself.
But it often creates that bridge of connection and connectedness with others who go.
I have that,
Or I feel that.
That's my experience too.
Taking a breath.
Yeah.
Going gently with yourself as we are caring for such a sensitive and tender experience.
Noticing how we're bringing compassionate as well as curious awareness to hear.
Yeah.
Breathing in.
.
.
Recognising that this is your experience now.
Breathing out,
Being open to the possibility.
That you can understand and learn about what is going on for you.
And find your way.
To resolving and dissolving.
What holds the shame and those anxious thoughts in place.
Finding your way.
To feeling better.
Strong.
More compassionate.
Towards yourself.
When you're ready,
Gently open your eyes.
Slowly moving your body in whatever way feels helpful.
And as much as you're able to.
Carry with you a feeling of compassionate and curious awareness.
Into the rest of your day.
Knowing that you can come back to this meditation as often as feels helpful.
To you.
And remember,
Feelings are information.
And that it's more helpful to be curious than critical.
You
