The Ultimate Boundary – Self Care

Welcome to Day 10 of the 10-Day Boundary Challenge. Do you think that self-care is selfish? Self-care is about replenishing your resources without depleting someone else's. And setting healthy boundaries regularly is a radical act of self-care and self-love. It is a powerful way to protect yourself from emotional harm, keep your personal dignity intact, and strengthen the relationship you have with yourself. In today’s session, we’ll cover real self-care ideas including better boundaries!

Transcript

Welcome to day 10 of the Boundary Challenge.

By now you know I am your host,

Terri Cole.

You made it to day 10.

I am so incredibly excited that you are here.

So today we are talking all about the ultimate boundary builder,

Self-care and self-love.

So let's get into it.

Exercising your boundary rights is a radical act of self-love.

In doing so,

You protect yourself from emotional harm,

Keep your personal dignity intact,

And strengthen the relationship you have with yourself and with others.

How do you think your life might change if your needs,

Your desires,

And well-being commanded as much consideration as everyone else's in your life?

I can tell you from experience that prioritizing self-care in small ways on a daily basis will positively impact every aspect of your life.

And self-care isn't just about a spa day.

It's about giving yourself plenty of space and support.

And that means being able to set boundaries.

And that means being able to say no to things when you need to rest.

You have the right to prioritize your self-care without feeling selfish.

For many of us,

This feels challenging and even impossible.

We don't want to be seen as demanding or we don't want others to label us as difficult or selfish or self-obsessed.

We can get really good at hiding behind some version of,

Oh,

You know me,

I'm easy,

It's all good,

Even when it's not.

The truth is,

When you don't share what lights you up,

What you love,

What works for you,

And what doesn't,

You're not only denying the people in your life the privilege of truly knowing you,

You're also denying the world your unique,

Amazing self.

Your preferences are a vital part of what makes you you.

There is a direct connection between sharing our truths,

Advocating for ourselves,

And self-esteem.

Real self-love and healthy self-esteem are less of a feeling and more of a way of life evidenced in your behavior,

Your choices,

And your boundaries.

I want you to make it your mission to understand why you are the way you are in the world,

With compassion and without judgment.

Deeply understanding yourself is so incredibly important.

And here's the thing,

It matters that you understand yourself because how you treat yourself sets the bar for every other relationship in your life.

I always say self-love is the only path to any other love that is worth having,

And you need to know yourself to authentically love yourself.

If you have a low opinion of yourself,

If you treat yourself like crap,

If you don't rest when you're tired,

If you talk badly about yourself inside or to other people,

You will inevitably attract others into your life who agree with that low self-assessment.

And if you treat yourself with dignity,

If you hold yourself in high esteem,

If you're able to tell the truth about the way you feel,

You will inevitably attract people who think that's the way that you're supposed to be treated because it all begins and ends with you.

Your healing comes from being strong enough and thinking enough of yourself to make the request,

To set the limit,

To ask for what you want,

To say no.

Every time you share your preference,

Even if the other person doesn't agree or doesn't go along with it,

Your healing comes from the asking.

It's from being able to stand up and step up for you because that is an act of radical self-love,

And that's what boundaries are all about.

And listen,

You don't have to change everything at once,

Right?

You can do all of this one baby step at a time,

Which is why we designed this boundaries challenge the way we did.

Taking small,

Consistent steps to assert yourself,

This is what leads to lasting transformation.

Every time you take care of yourself,

Every time you prioritize the way that you feel,

Every time you set a boundary,

It will boost your confidence and your self-worth,

And it creates space for healthier and better relationships with more mutual respect.

So let's dive into our final daily mindful action.

I want you to make a list of 10 self-care and self-love items that you want to start doing.

It could be putting some downtime in your calendar,

Like actually in your calendar.

It could be taking yourself out to dinner.

It could be resting when you're tired.

Now you will have your own,

So you're going to make a list of 10,

And I will keep my eye on the timer and let you know when it's time to stop.

Okay,

Please finish up what you're writing and let's check in.

How are you feeling about your self-care,

Self-love list?

How does it feel to think about adding them to your daily routine?

Did you have any aha moments?

I really can't wait to read your comments and see what it is that you added to your day.

Listen,

The foundation of healthy boundaries is developing an unwavering ability to know,

Honor,

And protect yourself.

Your boundaries are in fact a beautiful how-to guide on you.

Personal boundaries are like a totally customized instruction manual you create to clearly identify the permissible ways other people behave towards you and how you behave towards yourself.

Commit to pouring love,

Attention,

And understanding into yourself.

You are fascinating.

Your story is totally unique,

And what you think,

What you want,

And what you feel matters.

To attract people into your life who feel this way about you and deeply respect you,

You've got to take responsibility for the relationship you have with yourself because ultimately it is the most important relationship you'll ever have in your entire life.

When you fall madly and deeply in love with you,

You begin to look within for answers.

You start to trust yourself and what you think and what you feel,

Which makes setting healthy boundaries so much easier.

When you think you matter,

It shows,

When you respect and care for yourself and others and begin to hold you in the same higher level of regard that you are holding yourself.

So I just want to say thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you for joining us for this Boundary Challenge.

Deep bow of gratitude to Insight Timer,

And I want you to know truly it has been my honor and my privilege to spend this time with you.

I hope it added value to your life,

And as always,

Take care of you.

Reviews

This course has been such a eye opener for me (healing from codependency) so much of this gave me such insights about myself, other etc! Wow terri thank you soooo much! I feel like om more aware of my impulses of codependency, act from a sense of groundness within myself and feel so much more in tuned with myself! I’ll keep on work with this. And practice on telling my truth, speaking up (even when the voice shakes) and stand tall in me. BIG THANKS ❤️

(Also advice for another time with course - i would appreciate to maybe have a recap shortly about every step just to recap in the end!)
Big love
Clara

I searched for 10 min self care meditation and the last track of this course came up. I appreciated the advice and the time to write a list of 10 things I can do for self care. The one item that surprised me was to be generous with myself, to not cut corners when I'm buying food and order what I know it's better for me, even if it's a little more expensive. I would do it for others, so why not for me?

My father in law is in his last days, in the hospital, and it's so easy to just go without self-care but I'm committed to be who I want to be during this emergency. If I can do it now, I'll be able to do it under any circumstances. It's possible.

Thank you!

This course helped me a lot to distinguish between when someone is actually clarifying their needs from when they are basically stepping over my formerly articulated “no”s. I used to think i am a communicative person who listens to people’s needs and tries to understand them even if i had already told them how i feel about them.

But now I know that actually I had not been confident about my own boundaries and used to let others constantly question them. And in each case those conversations would exhaust my no and my boundaries until I’d lose my trust in the validity of my boundary and in some cases I’d lose my compass to where I was standing in that relationship/work situation and sometimes even in life. I have a better understanding of the importance of my boundaries now and that I can trust in how I feel.

The session on boundary bullies and the 9th day helped me a lot.
Thank you so much for the great teaching both in content and form 🤍🙏☀️

Amazing. Thank You! I’ve listening to her podcasts and reading her book Boundary Boss.

Thank you Terri Cole once again for your wonderful practice and guidance 💙🙏
This felt really good!

I see I am doing several self care behaviors. Making them part of daily life is my goal.

Excellent! Direct, simple, and clear direction on how to improve and prioritize self care. Thank you!!💜

So very impactful. I only listened to day 10 of this challenge. I'm now interested to join from the beginning of this course. Thank you so much Terri.

So full of truth. Boundaries are an essential must in self care- self love! Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

I truly loved this. So helpful, concise, practical and empowering presented in a kind loving way. Feeling uplifted and confident....already falling in love with myself. Thank you so much for supporting us 🙏🧡🦋 Namaste.

Thank you Terri for putting this boundary lessons together. I found it at a time when I needed to hear it. The universe is working its magic. I appreciate you.

Inspiring, amazing, eye opening... thank you, thank you, thank you for the best challenge ever!!! 🙏🙏🙏

This boundary setting series was great and gave me a lot of good ideas to work from. Thank you! 🙏♥️

So inspiring, eye opening, confirming, expanding, challenging & empowering! Thank you so much! Bless

Incredible - pour gold I wish I’d been taught at school and at home - I now protect my energy like GOLD

♥️♥️♥️thanks so much for creating these sessions that I can go back to over and over, deep bow to you for sharing your wisdom on what I think is the most challenging part of being human. I wish you much love and blessings ☀️

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was wonderful to have found this challenge. I feel very grateful

Such an amazing journey to deepen my self love 💗. Thank you 🙏

Outstanding! This 10 day challenge started a self love revolution with me and my daughters. We found Boundary Boss on Audible and the book on Amazon! Can’t wait to celebrate all the positive change! Thank you. Forever Grateful!

Thank you, Terri! I enjoyed this course and all of the important factors you compassionately brought to light. It gave me a lot to think about, even though I consider myself to be someone with pretty good boundaries. I still have work to do! I’m going to share this course with some folks I believe could also benefit. 🙏