Hello,
Thank you for joining me.
Today we'll be continuing our exploration of acceptance and also become more aware of its opposite,
Resistance or denial.
I will be taking a step back from accepting or resisting and look at the process of judgment that leads to our decision to go with the flow or against it.
In a previous recording,
An introduction to acceptance,
I've encouraged you to feel acceptance arising from the compassion of the heart.
Acceptance sounds friendly,
Kind,
Open-minded and tolerant and when it is genuinely from the heart it sounds desirable.
Resistance on the other hand might sound obstinate,
Even angry,
Critical,
Argumentative,
Perhaps not so desirable but that is not the whole story.
Acceptance of behavior such as child abuse would be morally unsound if it was within our power to stop it.
Resistance to the pollution of the planet is to be applauded in my opinion.
Both could come from the heart.
It seems that the spirit in which the decision is made to accept or resist could be important.
A benevolent spirit could then extend its influence in the framing of how we express acceptance or resistance,
Making it easier to hear without diminishing its message.
How can we foster a benevolent spirit?
Let's look at the ancient Chinese wisdom in the Tao De Jin.
It says,
The hard and strong will fall,
The soft and weak will overcome.
What might soft and weak mean when we are making a decision on whether something or someone or ourselves are to be judged in a particular situation?
The crucial word here is judge.
A judgment is made.
It is our judgment and we are likely to have many rational building blocks in place that we repeatedly bring out to construct our fortresses of judgment.
Examples might be a block that says,
I am always right or conversely you are always wrong.
Another might read,
She is a BMW driver or he is a vegan.
Just a couple of many possibilities that shut down clear thinking when we're making a judgment.
Once built we will often defend our fortresses as if our life depended on it,
Even when the matter has very minor consequences.
Could we be making a mistake here?
Are there so many important judgments to be made?
Have judgments become an expensive defensive habit in our overcrowded complex world?
I'll leave you to consider that further.
Here I'll continue by suggesting a way of examining the building blocks of judgment.
I have based this on the five element theory used in Chinese medicine.
By the way,
My students have asked me if this is Chinese astrology but it isn't.
The five elements are a way of understanding the qualities and interactions between the earth,
Metal,
Water,
Wood and fire elements that are found in the world around us.
Crucially the qualities of the elements are also represented in our human makeup,
In our mind,
Body and spirit.
I'll use the example of the fire element to explain.
Fire in the body is related to the Chinese functions of the heart which,
For example,
Include appropriate communication skills as well as the familiar Western circulation function.
Where the elements excel is in the mental emotional sphere.
We can easily see that a person who communicates with warmth is using their fire element.
And just as a fire can blaze too fast and furious so the heart can push us too much,
Then we find that we are anxious and strive to get things right.
We fail to be soft and weak as it counsels in the Tao De Jing.
We can use the image of fire in five element theory to turn to the opposite of the blazing fire,
Perhaps a steady burning flame that can give our life a steady resource of vitality and warmth,
A life that is sensitive in our judgments about communication and much more.
In the context of the heart then,
Soft and weak can mean sensitive,
Measured,
But not without warmth and benevolence.
From each of the other elements we can get different insights into a gentler way of judging and into the states of mind,
Like anxiety,
That can get in the way of that calmer approach.
That is exactly what we'll be doing in future recordings.
So enough of theory now,
Let's sit briefly.
Take several deep breaths to settle yourself and then return to your natural breathing.
For this short time rest from the heavy burden of judgments in your life,
From receiving judgments and from making judgments,
And particularly from the pain of being judged,
Whether that judgment is by others or by yourself.
Feel yourself now in a space that is safe enough to hold you exactly as you are and yet is not a fortress.
Pause the recording if you would like to continue this meditation.
I suggest that you might like to listen to this recording more than once.
Also please continue practicing the ideas in the introductions to awareness and exceptions recordings.
These will all prepare you for future recordings.
Saying goodbye now,
I hope that you have enjoyed this session.
I would like to acknowledge the practice and comments of my class in Horsford.
They have helped me to find and share clarity and for that I am grateful.
Thanks to them and thanks to you for listening today.
