The meta or loving kindness meditation.
Start by assuming your normal meditation posture.
Make sure that you are comfortable and that your hands are resting comfortably in your lap.
If you wish to support your hands with the aid of a cushion,
You may do so.
This will help to keep your chest open and expansive.
Now take a few slightly deeper breaths than normal and let your body totally relax.
Feel the tension slipping away from your shoulders on each out breath.
Then allow your breath to return to its normal state.
Now take your awareness around your body and check that your posture is stable and that you have a sense of being grounded.
Make sure that your spine is straight and resting comfortably.
If you are sat in a chair,
You might like to sit a little forward of the back of the chair.
Unless of course you have back problems,
Then by all means rest against the back of the chair or place a cushion behind your back for support.
Make sure that your feet are planted firmly on the floor.
If you can't reach the floor,
You may place a block or cushion there for your feet to sit on.
Keep letting go of any tension on each exhalation.
Make sure that your head is balanced nicely as if you are supporting the sky with the crown of your head.
Close your eyes or half close your eyes and let your gaze fall gently a few feet in front of you.
There should be a sense of quiet dignity about your posture.
Now bring your attention to your breath going in and going out.
Notice how the process of breathing impacts on your body.
Where do you feel it the most?
Do you feel it at your nostrils or in your chest?
Do you feel the rise and fall of the abdomen?
Can you get a sense of your breath in the back of your body?
How your breath impacts on your whole physical being?
Just stay with the breath for a few moments.
If at any time during this meditation your mind wonders,
This is okay.
Just acknowledge this and bring your mind back to the breath.
Use your breath as an anchor for your awareness every time that it wonders.
Then return to the focus of the meditation.
As best you can,
Let go of any plans or preoccupations that you might have and let your mind be quiet.
Bring your focus to yourself in a loving and gentle way.
Feel a sense of appreciation for yourself.
You may mentally or in your imagination or by visualisation soak each breath with the quality of love and kindness and see this quality radiating out throughout your whole body,
Permeating every cell within your body so that you get a sense of each cell vibrating with love and with health.
You may say to yourself,
May I be happy?
And then allow that phrase to really sink in.
Reflect on it for a few moments.
Then you may say to yourself,
May I be at peace?
And again,
Allow that phrase to sink in and then spend a few moments reflecting upon it.
Then you may say to yourself,
May I be free from all suffering?
And once more,
Allow the phrase to sink in whilst spending a few moments reflecting on what this phrase really means.
You may adjust these phrases to suit you.
Stay with this process of radiating loving kindness and appreciation towards yourself for a few moments.
You may,
If you wish,
Use the imagery that the Buddha offered and see yourself as a small child being surrounded with love and care.
Now bring to mind someone that you care about,
Someone that you find quite easy to love.
It could be your mother or father,
Brother or sister,
Son or daughter.
As you do so,
See them surrounded by love and kindness.
Get a sense of this quality radiating from your own heart and surrounding this loved person.
See them smiling and at ease.
You may,
If you wish,
See them as a small child surrounded by your love and your care.
You can again repeat the phrases that were used earlier for ourselves.
May my friend be happy.
May my friend be at peace.
May my friend be free from suffering.
And as we say each phrase,
Again allow each one to really sink in and feel how that resonates within your own heart.
Reflect on each phrase for a few moments as you say it.
Stay with this person in your mind for a few moments,
Feeling loving kindness and appreciation for them.
Now let us move on to our neutral person.
Recall someone that you do not know particularly well.
Perhaps someone that you see in the street every day or on your way to work,
Or someone in a cafe that serves you coffee.
Try to pick someone that you do not feel any sensual attraction to.
It is important that your loving kindness should be pure and not masked by some other feelings or agenda.
Once more you may see this person as a small child being surrounded by your love and caring and kindness.
Again repeat the phrases.
May this person be happy.
May this person be at peace.
May this person be free from suffering.
Once more reflect on the words and try to get a real sense of your desire for their realization for the benefit of your neutral person.
Again just hold this person in your mind for a few moments.
Now let us move our attention to someone that we find more difficult.
This could be someone that has irritated you a little in some way or upset you or said something that you don't like.
Do not pick someone that you have strong negative feelings for.
Someone that has annoyed you only a little is a better subject for this part of the meditation.
Again you can perhaps see this person as a young child surrounded by your love and affection.
Try to get a sense of this person as simply in need of being loved and cared for.
Try to genuinely feel for them and radiate matter or loving kindness towards them.
You may like to use the phrases that we have used before.
May this person be happy.
May this person be at peace.
May this person be free from suffering.
Just stay focused on this person for a few more moments.
If feelings of annoyance or anger come up during this part of the meditation,
Simply acknowledge them.
Try to get a sense of how those emotions feel in the body.
Try not to hang on to them or buy into them.
Simply be with them.
Allow them to be and then pass away.
Shining the light of your awareness on these emotions will help to dissolve them.
Even if you find it difficult or impossible to feel genuine loving kindness for this person at this time,
Simply continue with the practice as best you can and over time you may notice that your resistance to expressing real affection and loving kindness for this person begins to melt away.
Now bring your awareness back to your breath.
Watch your breath going in and out.
Stay with this and really get a sense of where you feel the breath in your body.
You may like to soak your breath in love and kindness once more.
Gently bring your awareness back into the room that you are in.
Feel the connection with the earth through your feet or the chair or the cushion.
Just take a few slightly deeper breaths than normal and then in your own time you can slowly open your eyes.
Take a few moments before getting up and resuming your normal everyday activities.
May all beings be happy.
