Growth

We're always growing and adapting to life in new ways, but there's good growth and bad growth, and the latter tends to work subconsciously against our true values and who we want to be. But we can reclaim ourselves if we try.

Transcript

Hello,

Everybody.

Welcome to mindfulness live.

This week,

We're talking about growth.

And by that,

Of course,

We mean,

Oh,

God,

I have to use that word,

Spiritual growth,

Or something like that.

So let's get to that in a few minutes.

But first of all,

Make yourselves comfortable.

Take a breath.

And let go.

Let's explore this idea of being comfortable.

Do you feel stable in your seat?

You feel solid.

Or are you still shifting?

How is your posture?

And how is your comfort level?

Something we're always working on.

But especially when we sit quietly trying to do nothing.

And we notice everything that goes on in our body,

In our thoughts,

In our feelings.

And settling down into this moment.

It's an ongoing process.

Adjusting your shoulders,

Adjusting your neck,

Adjusting your breath.

Watching each breath.

Feeling it come and go.

And feeling your chest and your upper body.

And you notice the small movements,

The adjustments as you become more comfortable,

Or less uncomfortable.

Keeping your upper body straight,

But not stiff.

Notice the position and the weight of your arms and hands.

Feel how they attach to your shoulders.

And notice if your shoulders are back or forward.

And if they're relaxed or tense.

And staying with the breath.

Now feel your eyes.

Whether they're open or closed.

Are they relaxed?

Can you relax them?

Can you let go?

Allowing your eyes to perceive shape and color,

But not directing them anywhere in particular,

Not looking for anything.

This practice of seeing without looking,

It's very revealing.

Suggests what part of you directs your gaze,

What you're looking for,

Expecting,

Hoping for,

Or biased towards.

So with your attention in your eyes,

Focus on seeing and not looking.

Seeing what's there,

Not looking for something.

And if your eyes are closed,

You see the blackness,

And perhaps the colors and pulsations of light from the other side of your eyelid.

Now,

Feel your breath.

Also,

Without any intention,

Except to breathe.

Notice how it comes and goes.

Notice the travel of the air through your nose or mouth,

Either filling or only partially filling your lungs,

Either smooth or uneven.

How is your breath?

And take one long,

Deep breath.

Notice how that feels.

Notice your attention,

How it wanders,

Sometimes on the breath and sometimes not.

Notice how it's distracted by things around you,

Or by thoughts,

Mental images,

Memories,

Projections,

And return.

Bring your attention back to the breath.

Be easy,

Be kind,

Be generous to yourself,

And thank yourself for taking this time,

Knowing that sometimes you're distracted,

Sometimes your attention is poor,

But you practice,

You exercise it,

You care.

Thank yourself for caring.

Now,

As you sit and you feel your breath,

Your body,

Your posture,

Your mind,

Your thoughts,

Sometimes distracted,

Take a breath,

And here you are.

Hopefully,

A little bit more alert when we begin.

Now,

Taking three more breaths,

Open your eyes.

When we stop growing,

We die.

So what that implies is that we're always growing,

And it's true,

But we're not necessarily growing up.

We're growing in experience,

And we're growing in,

We're always growing our reactive cycles,

Unless we're actively combating them,

Unless we're actively,

Intentionally trying to reduce them.

Those normal,

Everyday,

Automated reactions do get a little stronger,

And that's a part of growth.

So growth is not necessarily a good thing.

Growth is just a way of avoiding death,

In a sense,

But we're doing something a little more than just that.

We're trying to grow in a good way,

And that word is loaded.

What does it mean?

What is good,

And what's the difference between good and bad?

Well,

We've done this before,

And we've talked about ethics and morality,

And the essential key to ethics,

Which is do no harm,

But really,

When it comes to growth,

A lot of what's going on within us,

A lot of the changes that take place from day to day as we adapt to different situations,

Which is what growth amounts to,

A lot of that growth is automated,

And it's not really processed in a mindful way.

So what we do helps to increase the amount of processing.

It brings our attention to more things,

But most importantly,

I want to see today the way in which we grow into bad habits,

The way in which we grow well.

There are ways which look like positive growth which are not necessarily so.

For example,

I'm sure we've all paid a little bit of attention to the US midterm elections,

And we've noticed that some people,

By telling ridiculous blatant lies,

Get ahead.

It serves them,

It works for them.

And so for them,

That is a path of growth in their minds.

It's their goal,

It brings them closer to their goals,

So as far as they're concerned,

That's growth.

And so I suppose this is where we need the adjective.

I call it spiritual growth,

You might call it moral growth,

Or whatever you want,

But we want not just to grow,

Because that actually happens automatically,

Because as long as we're not dying,

We're growing,

But we want to grow in a particular way,

And what that way is,

Is sort of hard to define.

And in fact,

Trying to define it is,

Well,

I find that a distraction,

Because what we're trying to do,

What I'm trying to do,

I find when I'm doing that,

Is I'm trying to create a system or this sort of overarching way of looking at life that clearly identifies everything you do.

You can put it in place and you can see,

Well,

That's growth,

Or no,

That's not growth.

Well,

That's good,

Yeah,

That's not good.

It's not that simple,

Life is complicated.

So positive growth depends on positive ethics,

Positive morality,

And that depends on attention and caring.

We have to take the time to care about what we're doing,

And to think about it,

And to feel it out,

And to decide,

Is this good or is this bad?

And in this way,

We can hope to grow in a positive way.

But if our growth is all about reaching goals,

For example,

My goal is to win,

Then if that's the primary directive,

Literally,

If that's the ultimate thing,

Everything else is secondary,

Then morality doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter how I win.

It only matters that I win.

And when we do that,

When we set our sights on a distant goal,

Then we aim towards it and we move towards it in this way,

Which is more about reaching it.

It's simply about reaching it.

It's not about judging it or noticing if it's a good thing.

I mean judging in a positive sense,

Because we do need to judge.

When it comes to morality,

We are always judging.

Morality is all about judgment,

But it's not a judgment based on some goal in the future,

And it's not a judgment based on some abstract belief system.

It's a judgment based on the immediate situation here,

And seeing in real terms and in real time whether it's good or bad,

Whether it's helpful or not.

And I know it's not always evident.

Sometimes things are a bit confusing,

But sometimes they're not.

Sometimes things can be pretty black and white.

So in those situations,

We can trust our judgment.

In other situations,

Maybe we can't trust.

It's more tentative.

But in order to grow,

We have to let go.

We have to trust ourselves.

But you can trust ourselves with our eyes closed and say,

Well,

I've done this before.

It's no brainer.

I can just,

I'll just do it.

I'll just follow my instincts.

Or we can say,

Well,

I trust myself in the sense that it seems like a good idea,

But I'm going to keep my eye on it.

I'm going to follow through and see,

And see at the end of this process if there's a good reason to adjust my behavior,

To change my attitude.

So that,

The basic difference here is between the immediacy of the present moment,

Which is where everything actually happens,

Which is where the only place really that morality actually counts.

And this idea of living in a sort of an abstract way where we have these patterns,

We have habits,

We have belief systems and thoughts which we sort of vaguely subscribe to,

And we just assume that they're going to guide us and that we don't have to make an effort.

So we continue to grow in that way.

We will continue to grow towards our goals,

But not necessarily in a way which serves us or which really makes the world or our lives a better place.

So growth,

As I said on Monday,

Growth is the essence of what the Buddha called Dharma,

Not just any growth but guided growth.

And that's exactly what he did.

He encouraged us,

The Buddha encouraged us and his people to look,

To examine,

To understand,

And to go with the good growth and to work against the negative growth,

Because things are always working inside,

They're always coming to fruition in some ways,

Things are always,

We're full of seeds,

Think of it that way,

We're full of mental seeds and emotional seeds and physical seeds as well.

So mindfulness helps us keep our eye on all those different things that we're doing all the time and keep track and keeps us informed as to how we're doing,

Where we're going,

And how it's working out.

And that's what growth is.

So the short message is,

Growth is not necessarily good,

It needs our attention.

And that's what we do,

That's what mindfulness is.

So make yourselves comfortable.

Take a breath.

And let go.

And as you feel your body breathing,

You feel your mind feeling and thinking.

You feel yourself settling down,

Noticing,

Accepting,

And breathing,

Always breathing.

The engine of growth.

Breathing keeps us alive.

And life is growth.

It's nonstop motion.

You stop breathing,

You stop growing.

Stop feeling,

Stop thinking.

There's nothing left to do.

But now,

Staying with breath,

Remembering to be here and now.

Remembering to look and feel and notice.

And breath comes,

Goes.

It seems sometimes very familiar and other times not.

Seems precious,

Valuable,

Fragile.

Such a small simple movement.

This is what fuels us,

Keeps us alive,

Keeps us growing.

When you align your breath with your thoughts and feelings,

With your intentions,

With your morals,

Then you grow tall and straight and strong.

You become clear,

Less confused,

Less doubtful,

More willing to risk,

Take chances.

Knowing that life is one big chance.

Who knows?

Please stay with the breath.

And you check your posture.

Keep your back nice and straight,

Shoulders relaxed,

Arms hanging loose,

Fingers apart,

Your chest moving gently in and out.

The stomach holding on to leftover tension.

Now letting go,

Feeling your legs,

Your feet,

Your toes,

Letting go so you can grow,

So that you don't get stuck.

You let go.

And you notice any hanging on.

You look for hanging on.

You seek it out so you can examine it.

By examining it,

Let it go so you can grow.

Staying with the breath.

Feeling it,

Come and go.

Feeling the chest and emptying it.

Filling your blood with oxygen and taking away carbon dioxide.

Feeling it regulates your mood,

Clarifies your mind.

Helping you stay alive and grow.

And in order to guide that growth,

You watch it,

Pay attention.

You see where it's going.

You know how it feels.

And so between letting go and watching closely,

You grow strong.

You become whole.

You light yourself.

You care.

And breath comes and goes.

And you come and go along with the breath,

Along with your sensations,

Your feelings,

And your thoughts.

Everything comes and goes.

Everything's in a process of growth or decay.

The whole world is moving,

The whole universe,

Moving through time,

Changing.

And when you pay attention,

Growing strong and tall and clear.

Now taking three more breaths.

Open your eyes.

Your heart starts to tell someone something on your mind.

You