Good Growth, Bad Growth

We like to think of growth as a positive thing, but things sometimes grow the wrong way. In this talk, we refer to the Buddha's approach to cultivation (bhāvanā), which is often translated as meditation, but which in fact is much, much more than that. The essence: good growth takes attention, discernment, and lots more besides.

Transcript

Hello everybody,

Welcome to Mindfulness Live.

This week we're talking about growth.

And today I want to approach growth as,

Well,

It's the central topic of what the Buddha taught.

In fact,

What he taught was called Bhavana,

Which means cultivation.

Growth happens and cultivation is how we manage that growth,

How we affect it.

It's an approach towards the fact that things grow,

All sorts of things grow,

Cancer grows,

So not everything that grows is good.

So it needs management,

It needs attention.

And cultivation is basically everything that the Buddha taught.

It's about managing our own minds,

Our own experience and our own perception.

So first of all,

Make yourselves comfortable.

And start with three breaths.

Long,

Deep and conscious.

And these three breaths focus your mind,

Settle you down and bring you to this place and time,

Here and now.

And now you just watch the breath without managing,

Without controlling it,

Allowing it to come and go as it pleases.

Allow your body to take over and manage,

As it always does,

To manage your breath autonomically,

Unconsciously.

As the breath comes and goes,

You remain,

But not unchanged.

Each breath feels a little different.

Each movement is unique.

So feel your shoulders rise and fall,

Your chest open and close.

Feel the balance in your posture,

Leaning not too far forwards,

Not too far back,

Your head comfortably balanced,

Comfortably balanced on your shoulders,

Your arms relaxed at your sides,

Your spine straight and tall,

Keeping you upright,

Keeping you clear and focused and staying with the breath.

And the breath feeds and fuels your body,

Enables it to manage the ongoing change from moment to moment,

The growth,

The change in your posture,

The change in your metabolism,

The change in your perceptions.

From moment to moment there's nothing that doesn't change,

But you can just sit with the breath,

Feel it come and go,

Feel the change and know that you're here and now,

Always growing,

Always moving forward through time,

Through breaths,

Through moments.

And feeling your body in motion,

In very small motions,

But always moving,

Always changing,

Always moving.

And the breath comes and goes.

So how does your body feel?

Are you comfortable?

Are you strained or stressed?

Is there tension in your body?

And is there tension in your mind,

In your mood,

Your feelings,

Your thoughts?

It's just a question,

A question that you make again and again.

How am I feeling?

Is there tension?

Now taking three more breaths,

Open your eyes.

So,

We talk about paying attention to the present moment as if it's,

I want to say colourless,

As if it's not without judgment,

Right,

And without expectation.

So we're trying to look at the present moment in this sort of dispassionate way.

There you go,

That's maybe the word I was looking for.

But dispassion is not the whole story,

There's much more to it,

Because what we're actually looking at when we look at,

I feel my body and where is the tension?

In other words,

What's wrong?

And what's right?

What's wrong with my body,

My posture?

What's wrong with this moment right now?

Maybe nothing is wrong,

But maybe something is.

So the essence of the mindful practice,

And everything that the Buddha taught was all about knowing what's going on that's good,

What's going on that's bad,

What's going on,

But not just in this passive sense of,

Oh,

The present moment is beautiful,

And I'm just going to look at it without judgment and without expectation,

And I just sit back here and I feel enlightened,

I feel awakened by this.

And that's something you can do,

But that's not really the practice.

It's something that supports the practice,

The feeling of being comfortable is very important.

If you're not comfortable when you meditate,

You'll quit.

It eventually becomes onerous and it becomes a drag and you just lose motivation.

So you have to be comfortable,

But at the same time you are looking for the discomfort,

You're examining yourself,

Not just for the sake of it,

But with an eye to your growth.

So you can grow in good ways and you can grow in bad ways.

Okay,

The body can go in all sorts of different directions.

And generally we know the difference.

When it's going badly it hurts,

When it's going well it feels all right.

It's not a perfect metaphor,

But it's sort of more or less like that.

And if we're in doubt we've got our minds,

We can pay attention,

We can think about it,

We can compare this experience with other experiences,

We can talk to somebody else about it.

There's all sorts of ways in which we can get feedback,

But feedback is what it's all about.

Am I doing good?

Am I doing bad?

Am I feeling healthy?

Am I feeling unhealthy?

So the Buddha summed up his teaching many times,

He used this formula,

He said basically what you do is you see what is virtuous and you cultivate it and you see what is unvirtuous and you let it go.

And that's,

He sums that up as being his entire practice,

That's all there is to it.

And what we've,

We translate that now,

We've put that into our modern language and what we're letting go of is reactivity,

Or you might want to call it baggage,

You can call it whatever you want,

But we are developing this discernment.

So when I say,

Or when any mindfulness teacher says no judgment,

We're not saying no discernment.

Okay,

So let's compare these two,

They're very different.

Actually,

No,

They're not very different,

They are distinct,

But they seem similar in some ways.

A judgment,

When I say no judgment,

What I'm talking about is this emotional reactive judgment.

Like,

Oh,

I'm no good at this,

I can't do this,

That sort of emotional thing.

When we talk about discernment,

I'm looking at a particular state of mind and I'm saying,

Oh look,

I'm feeling jealous,

Oh I hate jealousy,

So oh I hate jealousy,

Okay,

That's a judgment which I don't really need,

It doesn't help,

But oh I'm being jealous,

That is a discerning view,

A perception of what is actually going on,

Which I need to see,

Because I don't want to be that person,

I want to be able to let go of that,

And in order to let go I have to see it.

So growth is something that we manage in this way,

By seeing the ways in which we grow,

I'm growing jealous,

I'm growing angry,

I'm growing compassionate,

Whatever,

But we're always moving in a certain direction,

Our minds and moods are always changing,

As we know,

Because why do we know?

Because we look and we see for ourselves.

So when you see your mind,

When you see your moods and you see where they're changing,

What direction they're growing in,

Then you know,

Oh this is one of those virtuous things that I cultivate,

And this is one of those harmful things which I need to understand and let go of.

So the process of what we're doing here,

You can call it Dharma,

You can call it mindfulness,

You call it anything you want,

But the process that we're going through,

It's not simply a process,

It's a lifestyle choice which affects our experience and affects the way that we are with others,

But it's going on in every moment and we're managing it and every moment we're cultivating it.

It's like a farmer doesn't just go out in the spring and plant his seeds and then go home for six months,

There's much more to it than that.

They've got to go out there and weed it,

They've got to make sure there's enough water,

It doesn't dry up,

The animals don't get to it,

There are bugs,

There are a million ways in which a farmer can lose his crop,

And there are a million ways in which we can lose our direction,

And in fact many people don't really have deliberate direction,

They simply allow their lives to be sort of buffeted by events and they just follow the path of no resistance,

Which sounds very spiritual but isn't necessarily so.

So we're trying to be dispassionate,

We're trying to be non-judgmental,

We're trying to let go of our expectations and we're trying not to be too goal-oriented,

In other words,

But we're not trying to insist that the world goes in our direction,

That our experience turns out to be what we want,

But at the same time we are guiding ourselves and we are making discerning rational judgments of this is the right direction,

This is the wrong direction,

This is making things worse,

This is making things better.

When I get angry and I think about it and I calm down before I express my anger to the other person,

Then things are going well.

When I feel angry and I just explode and burst,

Well things don't go well,

That doesn't make for good relationships,

It pisses off the other person,

Whatever,

We know that difference.

But I want to clarify this distinction between discernment and judgment,

Very very very important,

You cannot get through this process without discernment and you can't get through it with judgment.

So we have to find that sort of middle way there because they both come from a similar sort of discursive part of the mind which is like a knife trying to say,

Is it like this,

Is it like that,

Which side of the knife does it fall?

And that's what we're constantly looking at,

How is my breath,

How is my mood,

How do I feel going into the situation or approaching this event,

What can I do to improve it,

What can I do to make myself feel more at ease,

To be more real,

To be less confused,

Less angry,

Less judgmental.

So we've got all these ideas in place,

The thing now is to actually put them into practice because this is not about ideas,

This is not a belief system.

Well Buddhism is a belief system but if you treat it only as that,

Holding on to the beliefs which are necessary in order for you to be a member of that group,

Then you're not going to get the benefits that the Buddha talked about,

You've got to put it into practice moment by moment,

Knowing your mind,

And there's no better way to know your mind than by first knowing your body.

How's my breath,

Where is the tension,

Oh my gosh,

That knot in my stomach,

What's going on?

Your body brings or tries to bring to your attention all the stuff that you need to know in order to grow in a healthy way,

But a lot of the time we're not paying attention,

We're too busy,

We're focused on other things,

We're running around.

So that's really where the work is,

The work,

The hard work is in remembering to remember,

Remembering to pay attention,

Taking that moment to look at how I feel before I just launch into my conversation or my presentation or whatever it is,

But that thinking first,

How am I feeling,

How am I doing?

It only takes a moment,

But it's something we can do a hundred times a day as we're about to do something,

Talk to a friend,

Talk to an enemy,

Complain to our internet provider,

Whatever it is,

You take a breath before you start,

You take a look at your feelings and you know,

How can I adapt to this situation so I'll do a better job?

So when I'm ready to make a complaint on the phone,

Then I know the best way to do it is first of all,

Make friends with the person at the other end,

Make a joke,

Be happy,

Get them on your side and then say,

Hey,

You know,

That company you work for,

Wow,

They really piss me off.

Now you're not attacking that person,

You're on the same page.

So that's just one tiny weeny little example of what we're trying to do here.

It's not about if you sit for 10 minutes in the morning and the evening,

You'll eventually become enlightened.

That's not,

You sit for 10 minutes in the morning and evening because you want to remind yourself that you are thoughtful and introspective and careful and that you're growing.

Every moment is a growth opportunity and if you don't take the opportunity,

Your subconscious processes will take it and they may guide you down the wrong path.

It's for you to see it.

So growth does not happen,

Growth does happen inevitably,

But it doesn't necessarily go the direction you want just because you want it.

You've got to keep your eye on it.

It's like riding a bike,

You've got to keep steering,

Keep your eye on the road,

Keep your eye on what's ahead.

Again,

This sounds like a contradiction.

I'm always telling you,

Forget about the future,

Pay attention to the present moment.

Yes,

We're trying to do that,

We're trying to strengthen that present moment muscle,

But at the same time,

Of course we're looking ahead because that's where we're going and that's what's coming for us.

So we need to be aware,

We need to pay attention.

So that's my 10 cents on growth.

Okay,

Make yourselves comfortable.

Take a nice breath and tell yourself,

I'm here now,

Right here,

Right now.

Here's my breath,

Here's my body,

Here's my posture,

Here's how I feel.

I have a little pain in my back,

Tension in my shoulder.

What's that?

What's in my mind?

Thoughts of,

Oh yeah,

I have to leave the office this afternoon and I've got things to do first,

So I have to catch up,

It's on my mind.

Or maybe it's something deeper,

Some baggage,

Some resentment,

Something that stays with you and keeps returning.

What is that?

Is it familiar?

And so you examine the present moment in your body,

In your mind,

In your heart.

And you know that you're not feeling good.

You're feeling good.

And you know that I sit here taking the time to know my body,

My mind,

This moment.

And I sit here not to feel good,

Not with that sort of short term goal.

I sit in order to see,

To know what's going on here and now.

What hidden messages are in my body,

In my mood?

To what should I bring my attention?

What does my body suggest?

What does my mood suggest?

What's going on with me and my life,

My world?

What's going on?

What's growing well and what's growing wrong?

Staying with breath.

Staying with the moment.

And knowing why you're here,

Why you're doing this,

To manage your growth,

Manage your direction,

Your experience,

To know what's going on.

To know what's good and what's bad and to make choices.

And in the back of your mind,

The understanding that you wish to grow strong and supple and wise and kind and caring.

And so you cultivate yourself.

Now taking three more breaths.

Open your eyes.

Ladies.

Reviews

Wonderful and insightful practice, thank you!