How to Deeply Process Difficult Emotions

The mindfulness strategies and techniques presented in a fluid way here should prove quite helpful for you whenever you are suffering from an emotional experience. It will be more immediately effective if you already have good sensory clarity around emotional sensations, but if you don't, this will help you develop that clarity. I hope you use the techniques & strategies offered here when challenged by difficult emotions. When we all learn to effectively process our emotions - we will live in a different world. This is my contribution to that new world, offered with love.

Transcript

This is a meditation for processing challenging emotions.

So finding a comfortable position where you won't be interrupted.

Allow your body to settle and allow these three rings of a bell to just help you be here right now.

Good.

Take a nice big breath in,

Big sigh out.

Just feeling an allowing release in the body.

And check habitual places of tension.

Like the jaw,

Back of the neck,

Shoulders,

Solar plexus,

Belly.

And then let your spine stretch up in a way that feels good.

Creating space in the back of the neck,

The small of the back.

And let the head just slide back and up a bit.

As if it's a helium balloon lifting upwards.

And you just let go and hang down from that.

Letting everything else soften,

Hang,

Melt.

And just notice what you're feeling now in body and mind.

And if you are having a difficult emotion at this time,

There's a good chance you've got some thought,

Some story going in your head.

It keeps getting repeated.

And there may be discomfort in the body.

Maybe versions of tension,

Maybe emotional sensations.

Most likely some combination of the two.

And so just notice here that there's a thought,

A mental image,

Internal talk,

And sensations in the body all coming together.

And they're multiplying in effect to create a very unpleasant situation.

So we're going to deconstruct this.

And for this meditation,

We're just going to really tune into one aspect of this experience that I think leads the most quickly,

Most directly to allowing the emotions to flow on through.

And there's a possibility that you have some very unpleasant emotions,

But no one particular thought.

That's fine.

We're going to be working at this in a way that can be emotion that's hanging around,

That you don't know why,

Or emotion that's coming triggered by an event.

So now,

Noting that there may or may not be activity in the mind,

There may or may not be mental pictures or internal talk,

Bring your awareness to the body.

And we're just going to explore sensations that are happening there at this time.

And that alone helps keep the components from multiplying together in effect.

We're just picking one strand of your experience,

And that's what you feel in the body.

So in looking at the body,

We did a short relaxation at the beginning,

But notice if there are any places that are tight,

Where there's tension,

Or places in the body where you're feeling sensations that you think are emotional in nature.

And those are going to be what we're going to turn our attention toward.

Most of these sensations may be unpleasant,

But we're not going to have a preference for pleasant or unpleasant.

We're just going to notice them.

So now take an inventory,

Just noticing what's going on in your body right now.

If you know you're feeling a difficult emotion,

There's probably some place in the torso,

Maybe in the chest or belly,

Where there's something tight,

Maybe there's something spreading.

It could be vibratory,

There could be heaviness,

There could be stabbing pain,

There could be a cringiness,

There could be all sorts of sensations happening.

So in this inventory,

Pick one,

Where it is,

And get a sense of what the location is,

How you would describe where it is,

What shape it is,

What size it is,

Exactly where in your body it is.

What's the texture?

Is it hot?

Is it cold?

Is it vibrating?

Is it heavy?

Just really describe it as best you can.

And then as you are looking at this sensation and describing it,

There's a high possibility that it'll start changing.

If it does,

Fine.

Just notice how it changes into what.

Now just notice if there's another sensation in the body that you think is connected to a challenging emotional situation.

Might be in the throat,

The face,

Arms,

Legs,

Lower or higher in the torso than the other one.

And again,

Hone in on this sensation with clarity.

How big is it?

What's the shape of it?

How close to the surface?

How deep inside?

What's the quality?

Is there any movement?

Just check it out.

And then you can press pause here to explore any other sensations you might have.

It's usually between one and five,

Different places in the body where you may feel some sensation.

And as one moves,

It may affect another one.

So I'm asking you to describe in detail something that may move before you finish describing it.

And then it's something else.

That's fine.

That is in fact the nature of these events,

To be flowing and moving.

And just looking at them,

Just checking them out and feeling them,

That alone helps them start to process and digest and flow on through.

But for now,

We're not trying to make anything go away.

We're just tuning into and checking out who's home.

Who are the players that we're going to be working with here?

And so you can press pause now if there are other sensations you want to explore and check out in the same way.

And then when you're ready,

Come back on.

And now pick one.

Pick one of those sensations in the body that you feel are emotional in nature and connected to this event of challenging emotions you're experiencing right now.

You can pick the least intense one.

You could pick the most intense one.

You could pick whichever one was moving the most.

And movement can be vibration,

Undulation,

Wave-like movement,

Like that lava lamp could be spreading,

Collapsing.

So pick one of these sensations that you're going to play with now.

And then notice,

Has it changed since you originally looked at it?

And if so,

Just notice what it is now.

What's going on in that place right now?

And then as you're tuning in to this emotional sensation in the body,

There may or may not be tension in the body around it,

Especially when we have unpleasant emotional sensations.

Sometimes the body kind of tightens or tenses to either brace us for it or to help us avoid it.

So just notice if there's any tension around this.

And if so,

If you can,

Take a nice deep breath in and on a breath out.

Let go of the tension around it.

Anything you can let go of,

Do.

And if you can't let go of it,

Fine,

We're going to work with that a different way.

So just let go of any tension you notice,

Especially jaw,

Shoulders,

Chest,

Belly.

And then come back to that sensation,

The one you picked,

And notice first if there's any movement,

If it wants to spread,

Collapse,

Vibrate,

Shift in any way.

If there's any movement,

Let it move however it wants to move.

Each of these sensations is like a living creature that needs to move and dance its dance.

Let it.

If there's no movement and if it's a particularly intense sensation,

Allow your awareness to move around it,

The space around it where there is no problem.

There will be some space somewhere in the body that is around this sensation where there's no problem.

If the sensation fills your whole body,

Then look at your arms and legs.

But find space around it,

Around the outside boundary of it,

Where it's a free float,

Where there's no tension,

There's no drama.

That's the place that's free from it.

And allow your awareness to just kind of swim around the outside of this sensation.

Maybe sometimes you come in close to the outside boundary and just lightly stroke it with your awareness.

As you do this,

You may notice the sensation morphing or changing.

If it does,

Let it.

But just keep exploring outside of it.

Then,

If you can,

Let your awareness come down into it,

Kind of like you're diving down to the bottom of the pool,

Just to kind of touch the base and come back up.

Allow your awareness to kind of soak into it,

To explore what it feels like on the inside with a gentle curiosity.

What's going on in there?

Is something pushing out?

Is something pulling in?

What's happening on the inside?

And just kind of soak down into it for a moment or so.

And then when that's enough,

Come right back out to the place where there's no problem.

And just hang and float and explore the area around that sensation.

Now,

There is a possibility,

Maybe a good possibility,

That the sensation has changed since you first listed it.

And if it has,

Just let it keep changing in that direction.

And anything that wants to move,

Let it.

Even if it gets bigger,

Because if it gets bigger,

It will probably also be getting less intense.

Sometimes they have to spread,

Maybe even covering the whole body before they leave.

But that's just what it needs to do.

Let it.

And you can continue working with this sensation or shift to another one of the sensations you listed.

And playing the same way with it,

Noticing if there's any movement inherent in it.

And if not,

Allowing your awareness to float around it.

Maybe stroking the outside a little bit,

A little massage there.

And maybe even kind of diving down inside it,

Exploring for a moment,

Just for an instant,

Or for a longer period of time,

Whatever feels doable for you.

And when you're done,

Coming back out.

And you can do this for every sensation that happened.

And if you want to just continue exploring in more depth one of these emotional sensations or each of them,

Just press pause here.

Good.

Now,

Having some awareness of where these emotional sensations are,

And they may be in a totally different place now than your original list,

Allowing them to be there in whatever form they're in.

Allow your awareness to expand to holding the entire body in awareness at the same time.

Two arms,

Two legs,

Torso,

Head,

Throat.

Holding the whole body in awareness.

And within the body,

There are these little movements of kind of living creatures moving however they will.

But you're spread out now to a much more expanded focus.

And then keeping that awareness of the whole body,

Extend your focus outside of the body to,

It could be a couple inches,

It could be a foot or two,

To this space around the outside of the body.

Just in the same way we had a space around the emotional sensation,

We're looking at the space around the feeling body,

The space just on the outside of the feeling body.

It may become kind of tangible to you.

It may evoke an image for you that helps you kind of tune into that.

Let the image be there.

In fact,

Whenever we work with emotions,

You may get subtle images of the shape of the sensation you're working with.

That's fine.

That's natural.

Let any images be there.

But make sure you're really working with what you're feeling.

The images are kind of like a guardrail that keeps you on the steps.

But being on the steps is what we're doing now.

We're feeling.

We're exploring sensation.

And so when I say,

Tune into the space on the outside of your body,

You might say,

How can I feel that?

Well,

What if you attempted that?

What does that space on the outside of the body feel like?

If you can't feel it,

Imagine feeling it.

As you also hold the whole body in awareness.

You've got the whole body.

You've got the space on the outside of the body.

And inside there are any emotional sensations we worked with.

Maybe they're still there.

Maybe they're not.

Maybe they've moved and changed into other things.

It's all good.

Doesn't matter.

We're just moving our focus frame,

If you will.

From coming down into a close-up and diving into something to expanding out and getting a whole other bigger view.

And now notice what this experience has been for you.

This is one way to help process emotions,

To help digest them.

Is to look at,

Or rather feel,

The emotional sensations in the body,

As well as any tension that comes with them.

To release any tension you can,

And then just take an inventory of what emotional sensations you have.

And one by one,

With kindness,

Explore around and through them,

Getting to know them a little better.

There's a high probability that just that process of exploration will help the sensation move and change the way it's designed to do.

And if it doesn't,

That's fine too.

This kind of floating awareness around it and through it kind of helps that as well.

And we also pulled back and widened,

Expanded our awareness to hold the whole body and the space beyond.

Notice what effect that had.

So anything that was helpful in this meditation for you,

In helping release that emotional sensation in the body,

Is now yours.

You can use it at any time.

Notice we detached from the thinking process,

Which is what puts logs in the fire we're trying to help move on through.

So we have other ways of doing this,

Where we go into the thought process,

But this way of working with just the body sensations,

Separate from any story,

Just by doing that,

Helping them process and move on through,

It can affect how you think,

What solutions you think of to the problem,

It can affect how you feel,

And no longer distort your perception as intense emotions.

Pretty much always do.

I hope this was helpful,

And,

Before I ring the bell,

Let's take a good deep pleasurable breath in,

And a big sigh out,

And then do one on sound,

Where the sigh out is on vibration.

Huuuuuuhhhhhh Just feel if that feels good.

Do another one of those.

Huuuuuhhhhhhhhh And you can do as many more of those as you like,

And allow any movement,

Or change,

Or opening,

Or softening,

Or relaxation,

Or focus,

From this meditation to continue.

To continue naturally with you after the meditation,

Remembering that after the bell,

When you slowly open your eyes,

You will keep in touch with something from the meditation.

When in doubt,

You can feel your feet,

And allow the momentum of this practice to serve you,

In life,

As you process difficult emotions.

Reviews

This is great first thing in the morning when I’m not hoping to fall asleep. Exploring physical sensations much as we did in MYL. Very safe and companionable. Love it. 3/3/24

Very helpful, thank you.