Replacing Self-Criticism With Self-Compassion

We all have behaviors, emotions, or feelings that at times we might feel shameful of or embarrassed by. Sometimes it feels like those parts of us take over and we can't do anything about them. This meditation will help you get to know that part of yourself better, replace self-criticism with self-compassion, and begin to build inner trust so those parts can relax a bit and no longer feel the need to take over in such a strong way.

Transcript

My name is Alicia and this meditation is meant to help you develop a deeper understanding and self compassion for different behaviors,

Emotions,

Or parts of you that you might sometimes feel overwhelmed by,

Embarrassed by,

Or even shameful of.

We all have different parts of us that are there for a reason that developed at some point in our life to help us,

And they are all well meaning,

Even if it's hard to view them that way in certain moments.

And so to begin,

I invite you to take a position that feels comfortable,

But also allows you to remain alert.

That might be sitting upright in a chair with your feet on the floor,

And your hands on your lap with your palms facing up,

Or maybe sitting directly on the floor cross legged.

With your hands facing upright in your lap or on your knees.

Begin to bring your gaze downward,

Or closing your eyes if that feels best for you in this moment.

And begin by taking a slow deep breath in,

And slowly exhaling it out.

And take another deep breath in,

And slowly exhaling it out.

And now we will take a few moments to allow our bodies and minds to fill a sense of safety,

Groundedness in this present moment.

And to do that I invite you to imagine that you are sitting next to a beautiful calming river.

Maybe you're sitting on a rock.

Maybe you're sitting on a blanket on the ground.

Or maybe even directly on the ground,

Feeling very connected to nature around you,

And the safety and support that Mother Nature has to offer you.

Noticing the gentle sounds of the water as the river rushes downstream.

Noticing the sunlight and the warmth of it on your skin.

Noticing the beautiful trees and plants that surround you in this safe space.

And bringing in anything else that would allow this space to feel even safer to your body in this moment.

And you can internally say to yourself,

I am safe.

I am safe.

I am present in this moment.

I am protected.

And spending a few more moments here to really allow all of the comforting sensations to amplify in this moment.

Beautiful.

And now I invite you to think about a specific memory or maybe a trigger that you know brings up this behavior,

This emotion,

This part of you that tends to feel overwhelming,

Or that you might feel embarrassed about.

And as you think about that specific memory or trigger,

Simply tune in words and notice what happens in your body.

Noticing what kinds of sensations emerge.

It might be a tightness in the chest,

Tension in the neck or shoulders or face,

A pit in your stomach.

And as you notice that physical sensation,

Begin to bring your attention towards it and see if there's a specific image or color,

A phrase,

Just noticing anything at all that might be associated with that sensation.

There's no right or wrong answer here.

Everyone's parts present differently to them.

And if you notice that it's difficult to be with that part of you,

That there's any sort of shame or criticism present,

Just seeing if you can ask those feelings to take a step back so we can continue to be with this part of us.

And if it doesn't feel like they're able to do that,

That's okay.

It may take a few times of doing this,

Especially if you're new to this practice.

And I invite you to come back to it as many times as you need to until you're able to be with that part.

And so seeing if you can get curious about this part of you that's present during these different moments that can feel overwhelming and asking it if it had a voice,

What would it say in this moment?

What does it need you to know about it?

And trying not to judge or criticize whatever it is that's coming up for you.

Just simply observing it and hearing it and seeing if that makes sense for you.

And maybe asking this part if it knows who you are.

That might feel like a strange question.

But sometimes parts,

Especially really,

Really protective ones believe that they are us.

And they may not know that they are a part of us,

But not our entire being.

And we may not know that that is not all of us,

But that is a part of us.

And so if it feels like this part is really clinging tightly to you,

Or you're having a hard time not becoming overwhelmed by it,

Asking if it would be willing to take a step in front of you,

Or maybe sitting next to you to the side of you,

Letting it know that it doesn't have to go away or disappear,

But that we can better help it and get to know it if it's not overwhelming you.

And seeing what it's like for this part to see you as your own distinct person,

And seeing it as a separate entity.

It is a part of you,

But it's not all of you.

And letting this part know how much you appreciate it.

It may have not felt that from you before.

It may have felt other parts that were critical or shameful of it.

But really being able to notice what it's like to have this wisdom that this part probably developed at a time in your life when you did need protecting when you did need some extra help and support.

And so even if it feels overwhelming,

And doesn't always feel adaptive now,

It truly was adaptive for you at one point in your life.

And seeing if you can express some gratitude towards this part for its positive intention in viewing it that way from that light.

And asking this part what it's like to hear you express that gratitude towards it,

To hear you reflect back to it what its positive intention is.

And asking this part,

If it could do anything in the world,

If it wasn't having to protect you so much in this way,

What would it like to do?

Letting it know again,

It doesn't have to disappear or go away.

But sometimes our parts don't always understand that now that we're an adult in our current life,

That it can have a different job and allow us to handle things.

And if it feels like it's hard for that part to believe that maybe letting it know your current age on this day and time,

Maybe showing it around your current life,

To really allow this part to see who you are at your current age and at this current time in life.

And that you're no longer that little one,

Or that younger part of you that it used to have to protect.

And once it feels like you've kind of shown it around and given it a new perspective,

Returning to that question of what it would like to do now that it has permission to no longer protect you in this way.

And if it's not ready to move on to a different role,

That's completely fine.

We know that this part has done a really,

Really amazing job of keeping you safe.

And it might take some time for it to get to know you and to develop that trust that it can start to relax a bit and not have to work so hard to protect you.

Maybe you might have to come back to it many times to develop that trust.

And if it is willing to give you an answer of what it would like to do,

Seeing if you can help that happen in this moment.

For many of our parts,

Once they're given permission,

Sometimes they simply want to rest because they've been working so hard.

Sometimes they want to be carefree,

And get to embody that childlike energy that they didn't get to before.

Just allowing whatever it would like to happen in this moment to be true for it.

And simply checking in and seeing if there's anything else this part needs from you,

Or needs you to know or be aware of in this moment.

Spending a few more moments here with this part.

And whenever you feel like you've received all of the wisdom and information from this part,

Expressing some gratitude to this part,

For being willing to come forward today to share all of this vulnerable information with you,

Letting you into its world a little bit and showing you exactly what it needed you to know for today.

And if it feels like you can make the commitment to it,

Letting it know that you'll keep checking in with it,

That you'll keep returning to it.

And whenever you're ready,

I invite you to take a final slow deep breath in and slowly exhaling it out.

Beginning to bring some movement back into your body.

Maybe rolling your shoulders or your neck,

Wiggling your fingers and toes and gently and slowly open your eyes at your own pace.

Beautiful work.

This work is so amazing because it allows us to develop self compassion and a deeper understanding of all parts of us.

And when we can give that to ourselves,

We have the ability to extend that to other beings in the world around us.

This type of work is called internal family systems.

If you're curious about it and would like to know more about it.

I have some more meditations on here that you can look at.

Or there are some other meditations on insight timer from other amazing meditation teachers that are also focused on the internal family systems model.

If you have some time,

I invite you to journal about what your part shared with you.

Anything that felt important.

And simply remembering that this is a process and to keep working with it.

Getting to know all of your parts if you feel called to do so.

Thank you so much for meditating with me and I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.

Reviews

you really help me to relax and be grateful for for your teachings you make me calm down and notice life and it's blessings

Oh bless you, I really love this! please do more, maybe one for a toxic shame part? 🙏

This was a new methodology for me in meditating. At first, it felt a bit unwieldy, but by halfway through, I was engaging with the anxious part of myself and uncovering some of the reasons why it exists in a non judgmental way. Thank you for sharing this guided meditation, I look forward to returning to it and exploring more!

What a fresh and new concept for me. I enjoyed it! Namaste 🙏

Very powerful - thank you

Relaxing

I could actually feel the pain receding as I was working through this meditation. It's absolutely amazing and will be bookmarked immediately 💯 reccomend!

That was really helpful, thank you