I don't know if you experienced this as well,
But I find that the more I meditate,
The more ambivalent my response is when asked,
How are you?
How are you feeling?
And it's surely not because we as meditators,
We're not in,
We haven't inquired into how we feel or that we're not in touch with how we feel or that we're in denial with how we feel or that we're up through meditation,
We're bypassing how we feel,
But rather there's more sort of this recognition through sort of the multiple,
If not daily experiences of coming into the atmosphere of feelings,
Meeting them directly in meditation,
Right?
Not through the medium of the mind and all sort of its constructs,
Memories that sort of hold all of our narratives together,
Often sort of overshadowing the actual texture of feelings,
Meeting feelings directly.
We come to observe,
We come to experience,
We come to see how feelings are not fixed,
But rather they are emotions,
Energy in motion,
Sometimes slowly,
Other times a rapid motion,
But nevertheless an energy that is in motion and watching ourselves in this sort of pendulum of motion,
Of energy in motion.
We observe ourselves swaying,
Right?
Sometimes in a matter of like 20 to 30 minutes,
Sometimes within the same minute,
We observe ourselves,
We observe this energy swaying in one instance from joy to pain,
From hope to despair,
From humility to pride,
From love to hate,
From elation to depression.
And by observing this,
Not only do we see that we cannot be defined by any sort of perpetual feeling,
We also give up striving for perpetual feeling.
You know,
In all the ways in which we strive for perpetual feeling,
Especially in all the ways we consume,
Right,
Our striving through consumption,
In the amount of caffeine we consume or sugar or alcohol or food or even books,
Consumption even of spirituality,
Of yoga,
Of meditation as a striving for perpetual feeling,
We give up turning to all these activities as a striving for perpetual feeling.
So then meditation becomes this occasion of coming into an open awareness of ourselves as not fixed,
Not static,
Not stagnant,
Not dead,
But fully alive in the full capacity of our humanity.
And a comfortable seat.
Exhale all the air out.
Inhale a breath.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhdeam.
Oooooooo.
Om Making any final adjustments in your seat.
For a moment just open your eyes.
And looking around into your surroundings.
In front of you.
Peripheral vision.
Above you,
Below you.
And now close the eyes.
And observe how in looking outward,
With the eyes open,
We look towards the outer world through two eyes looking out.
But as we turn inward,
Those two eyes converge.
Into one eye.
One unified vision.
Of the self.
Allow the skin of the temples to soften.
And spread.
Something even a spreading of the physical eyes.
A softening of the eyeballs.
The muscles of the eyeballs.
As they release into the eye sockets.
Surrendering their respective roles.
Seeing through the left,
Seeing through the right.
Surrendering their respective roles.
Into a singular eye.
And feel the singular eye opening the expanse.
Of your inner being.
Bypassing the mind.
Because it is not processing stimuli of the physical eyes.
Allow the expanse of your inner eye to take you in.
And release.
Feel the energy of that invitation pulling you in.
Allow yourself to be seduced by its lure.
And in its expanse,
Open yourself to the full bandwidth.
Of emotions.
Re Ray Russian motion.
You may at times feel your attention swaying from one aspect of the pendulum to the other.
As you return to that singular vision feel yourself established at the center of the full spectrum of emotions.
Every emotion within your reach.
Feeling the aliveness of your very being.
Every emotion within your reach.
Every feeling.
If there is one feeling more dominant than the other gently move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Allowing yourself to take a seat at the center of it.
Allowing a tenderness towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
And in that tenderness no longer observing it as separate.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
With the breath integrating it fully.
It with all else that is.
At the very core as well as at the periphery of your being.
By seeing it through your breath.
And by illuminating it with your breath.
And bringing it in to the aliveness of your being.
Drop all language,
All words.
Take rest.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Breathing into any hesitation that arises as you move towards it.
Tilt the head towards the heart.
And all the way from the base of the neck towards the chin.
Lean back slightly,
Extend the legs out.
Lie down on your back.
And all the way from the base of the neck towards the heart.
Observe in the opening of your attention.
The responsiveness of every cell in your body.
Perhaps a heightened sensitivity.
Wakefulness.
A tingling sensation.
Emerging from every cell in the body.
Roll the arms to the torso.
Bend one leg then the other.
Roll to your right side,
Pause there.
Keep the eyes closed still.
Press the left hand down,
Slowly lift yourself up to sit.
Allow the palms to join.
Exhale all the air out.
Inhale a breath.
Namaste.
