Loving Your Changing & Aging Body

Loving our aging bodies in a culture of anti-aging is a radical act of self-care. When we turn inwards and tune out the world's criticisms and judgments, we are able to find a sense of peace with aging and approach our experience with curiosity instead of fear. Skylar's gentle guidance will help you to unravel some limiting beliefs around aging and offer a different perspective on how you can be in a loving relationship with your body.

Transcript

I am Skylar Liberty Rose and today's meditation is on loving your changing and aging body.

I invite you to get comfortable laying down or seated whatever feels good for you.

If you'd like to close your eyes please do so now or if you'd prefer to keep your eyes open just be sure to soften your gaze.

I'll start by speaking for a little while on some of the challenges of being in a changing and aging body and then we'll practice some mindfulness and mantras together.

Let's begin by taking a deep breath in through the nose and then softly slowly exhaling through the mouth.

This body of yours,

This human form that holds your heart and your spirit.

All of your earthly experiences,

Your victories and losses,

Your grief and your joy.

The piercing clear knowing and the murky vague,

The tender and the unbreakable,

All of it housed within you.

This body that beats for you to a rhythm that is yours and yours alone.

Let the wonder of that blow your mind.

Billions of humans and not a single one exactly like you.

You are so very special.

The world has conditioned us to turn away from ourselves as we age.

Youth is glorified and revered as though our younger years are the only ones of value and importance.

As though our acceptance is solely based on our ability to retain youth.

As we move into our middle years and there is greater distance between who we once were and who we are now,

We often struggle to accept ourselves.

We reject ourselves for not meeting a highly restrictive set of criteria that we never even chose.

We reject ourselves because nobody has shown us how to lovingly embrace ourselves.

In a world of filters and apparent flawlessness,

We are judging ourselves and our bodies mercilessly.

Our expectations are sky-high and we hate on ourselves even harder when we can't meet those expectations.

I view aging as a privilege,

One that is denied to so many and still I've had many moments of feeling compelled to smooth and soften evidence of life from my body.

I've struggled to see my skin slackening and I've had moments of horror to discover a crepe-like texture appearing on the sides of my thighs and the tops of my arms.

The skin below my jawline no longer has any elasticity and hangs loose.

But on my journey of self-acceptance,

And it really is a journey,

I found a sense of peace in aging because I've chosen to chew now of the harsh words of an anti-aging culture and instead tune in to my own inner wisdom and knowing.

What I can share with you is this.

It's not true that your body is broken or that your skin is flawed.

It's not true that your body isn't beautiful.

It's not true that your body cannot be loved.

It's not true that aging is a terrible crime or that you have to minimize and conceal and erase all signs of life from your body.

These are lies that are fed to us so we will feel insecure and keep spending our way to self-acceptance.

Yet somehow it's always just out of reach because that's not how true acceptance works.

What I can share with you is this.

It is true that your body has always been aging and changing right from your very first breath and for many years those changes have been celebrated as milestones are reached and new experiences are enjoyed.

When did we stop doing that?

When did we stop celebrating the changes we experience,

The new memories we make at every age?

What might happen if we simply got curious about our thoughts,

Our feelings,

Our beliefs?

What if we gently asked these questions with tenderness?

Who benefits when I criticize my body?

Who wins when I am unable to be compassionate towards myself?

What if you could accept your incredible self here in this moment?

What if you were already enough,

Already supported,

Already worthy?

Repeat after me.

My body is beautiful.

My body is worthy.

My body is enough.

At any weight and every age.

With marks or scars or wrinkles or cellulite.

My body is beautiful.

My body is worthy.

My body is enough.

Can you imagine speaking with harsh words about the body of a newborn baby?

Can you imagine judging the skin of a self-conscious teenager?

Most of us can't.

So why then and when then did it become acceptable for you to criticize your body as it is now?

And where does this criticism really come from?

Because it's not from your core.

It's not from your inner truth.

Habits are words or actions that we reinforce by repetition over days,

Then months and before we know it long,

Long years.

This repetition of words that are harmful,

These actions that are damaging,

These deep rooted behaviors,

They lead to deep sadness because we reinforce them over and over again.

Every time we look down in judgment at our bodies or criticize ourselves as we pass by a mirror or see a photograph that we believe to be unpleasing,

We are constantly,

Consciously and unconsciously measuring our worth in worthless ways.

Is it any wonder our hearts are hurting?

You deserve to be at peace with who you are and how you look.

You deserve to embrace the body you're in no matter what unkindnesses have been said or done to you.

No matter what.

It may be that it's not immediately easy for you to form a new loving habit.

It may be that you recoil from the idea that you can embrace your aging body.

Remember,

This is a beginning.

This meditation might even be the very first step you've taken on this important journey.

And wherever you currently find yourself on this journey is where you are.

You're right on time.

So if it feels too tender just yet to embrace your body with love,

That's okay.

You're okay.

There's a whole world out there that wants to push and pull us in all kinds of different directions that might not feel right for who we are and where we are now.

But here,

In this space,

You get to go at your own tempo.

You get to choose.

You get to notice your own experience and honor it.

There is no right,

No wrong,

No running out of time.

Only you and your body.

You can come back to this space over and over again,

As many times as you want.

You may have a different experience each time.

You may feel lighthearted or heavy,

Joyful or daunted,

Or something else entirely.

Know that your experience is yours.

It's valid.

Know that you are held here.

I know it takes courage to love your body in a world that wants you to prioritize fear and shame.

I know it takes strength to decline the projections of others.

Know that you are not alone.

You are held by women across the globe.

Women like you who are paving a whole new world where every body is valued,

Where every age is celebrated.

You are held by the women who came before you and created change in swift and slow ways.

We have the baton now.

You have the baton now.

But nobody runs alone.

You are allowed to take up space with your body.

You are allowed to be proud of your changing,

Aging body.

What I can share with you is this.

It's true that you are blooming.

It's true that you are becoming.

And it's also true that you are still budding.

We often think budding is reserved for young people only.

That the joy of unfurling is now denied to us because we are decades in.

And yet we are still experiencing many things for the first time.

For the very first time.

This budding,

This new land we are tentatively travelling along.

It happens alongside of us blooming.

Think of flowers in a bouquet.

Some are already open in bloom.

And interspersed amongst them are buds that haven't opened yet.

Buds that are about to experience the world for the very first time.

These flowers in their different stages harmoniously side by side.

They teach us something about honouring our own timeline.

There is space for every journey.

There is space for us to bud,

To bloom,

To cherish our path of differing experiences.

Both familiar and foreign to our bodies.

Take an inhale.

Take a soft and slow exhale.

Repeat gently after me.

There is no ending without an awakening.

Every circle of life links to another circle of life.

Every breath is a beginning.

As I bloom,

I am also in bud.

I am evergreen.

I am eternal.

I am evolving.

I am every element.

I invite you to take a slow stretch to bring your awareness back to the space you are in.

In your own time,

Gently open your eyes.

Let your gaze be soft.

Let your breath be easy.

Let your awakening continue.

You may like to journal any thoughts or feelings that came up for you during our time together.

Or maybe just sit for a moment with your hand on your heart and let yourself reabsorb what you've always known but have simply forgotten.

Sending you love and gratitude for joining me today.

You

Reviews

Perfect and beautiful. Truly enjoyed this meditation and talk. Thank you 🙏🏻 Namaste

So so beautiful. I'm definitely saving this one on repeat mode.

Absolutely brilliant. Thankyou for your wise words and confidence boost. Namasta

This was very helpful. Today is my 50th birthday and I'm starting to see physical changes in my body that make me feel very mortal. Your words were very uplifting.

Yes, lots of unfurling & journeys to go with greater appreciation and awareness🙏 thank you

The best! Just what my 67 year old self needed to hear. Thank you 💜

Such a beautiful and touching practice. Some gentle tears fell at the idea of still coming into bud and bloom. Thank you. 🙏

Thank you for this beautiful, gentle and much needed meditation. I will share it with my friends. Love and blessings to you 🩷x

I just needed these gentle words and wise thought on my way of befriending my aging body that has carried and protected me for many decades. Thank you, your special touch makes things so much easier 💙💙💙🦋😘

What an incredible gift this was this morning and will continue to be as I journey toward greatest self acceptance🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

So lovely. Thank you for reminding me and other women of our inherent beauty.

These gentle and loving words offer us ways to challenge the cultural, societal & institutional ageism we have been surrounded by & truely value our life stage & self. Thank you xx

Excellent and food for thought as one ages. Well done and a good reminder to value our bodies no matter how old one is. Thank you and Namast.

Beautiful! The most compassionate meditation I’ve ever heard on the topic of aging. Much gratitude to you for this treasure of wisdom on the beauty of blooming as we age.

Having recently finished eating disorder treatment at age 56 and contemplating a new career path, this meditation has given me a new powerfully positive outlook. Meditations like this one are rare and I feel very lucky to have found it and this teacher. Thank you.

I am so glad I found you here on Insight Timer. Your voice so soothing, manner so gentle and messages so wise and loving. Thank you 💐

Wonderful, I look forward to returning to this. ✨🙏🏼💜✨

This is really helpful, a new and very needed paradigm shift in how we think about our own aging. This is a great reminder for me that I will come back to often.

Thank you, Skylar, for this beautiful and much needed meditation. Listened to it as I lay awake in the middle of the night, worrying about my aging body and current health challenges. Your gentle words reminded me that we are so much more than this human form that carries us through our earthly life, as long as it lasts. This earthly body of ours houses a beautiful, unique and eternal soul.

Oh my goodness m What an exquisite experience. Thank you 🙏🏽