The Mindful Unemployed (Studio Recording)

I tell my story on how I came from an unemployed executive to a meditation teacher, which I think might resonate with some people. In the end, I provide guidance to a breath body practice to give a sample of what meditation is about to those who have never meditated before or experienced meditators looking for a different approach.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Ajahnur and this is A Skeptic Buddha.

Early this week I had a coffee with a best friend of mine called Bruno.

Bruno is a professional coach and he lives in Seattle.

I am a meditation teacher and I live in Toronto.

Three hour difference,

Coast to coast,

We decided to do it virtually.

I have worked with Bruno for over 15 years and he knows me professionally as well as personally and I know him as well.

So we started talking about the current job market status and how it compares to the time that we were in corporations working as an executive.

I started talking to him and started telling him about my layoff situation and why I decided to become a meditation teacher.

Back in 2014 after 10 years working for a company I was let go as they say with a very brief explanation and I saw myself in a foreign country with a family without a job.

What I want to bring to you right now is what I call the mindful unemployed.

The mindful unemployed is basically a summary of my trajectory from being depressive unemployed to a meditation teacher,

A confident meditation teacher I might add.

So as I mentioned to you it all started in 2014 when I got let go and I take my experience as well as the basis for this story but I'm sure that many other people,

Professionals have gone through at least some of what I'm going to tell you.

After I tell you a story I will give you a brief guided meditation so that you can practice and feel how it's like.

So basically as a company executive I was let go and I was offered a quite basic severance package but by talking to a lot of my friends,

Executive friends,

No company offers support,

Emotional and spiritual support for the people that they let go.

They offer you an outplacement,

They offer you money,

They offer you health insurance for a longer period but there's no attention to how emotionally and spiritually that person is after that person has been let go.

So you go home after that,

Left from my way inside the company through the back door to be honest which is something I will never forget after 10 years working for a company and being let go through the back door is not something I really enjoyed but nevertheless the day after there was a lot of emotional instability,

Uncertainty and of course a lot of low self-esteem.

The emotions surrounding that fact is very boiling to the top so you really think to yourself okay I'm going to give myself a couple of days to settle down and I'll start going back to the market,

I'll go back to the market and look for a job.

That was my first thought but the thing is that those boiling emotional and spiritual disturbances they did not go away in one,

Two or three days.

They really lasted very long and although I was on medication and psychotherapy they stayed.

They were very strong at that time and because I had a family,

I had financial responsibilities,

I had to go back to look for a job and that's when things get worse because I was not prepared to go back to the marketplace especially looking for a job.

I saw myself in an unfair situation compared to the hiring manager because I was asking for a job that's the truth.

Although many outplacements and many consultants will tell you that you are evaluating the company the same way the company is evaluating you that's BS for me.

I was asking for a job which really piles up on top the low self-esteem and the emotional although you were prepared to do interviews and you know what you have to say,

You have the job description memorized and you have a resume aligned with the job description everything those consultants tell you about to do.

The emotional distress that you're into,

The emotional instability,

The spiritual instability it's noticeable.

It's totally noticeable.

I did well I was brave enough to take myself on a on a on a try at an interview on a you know what was practicing and I look at myself and I said I would not give this guy a job never look at him he transpires instability he transpires distress although he's a very tech very good technically speaking he as a person he's not well suited so when in this day and age you compete with people they're you know just coming to the market I'm not 20 years old anymore so it's it's really unfair I tell you and and also it gives it gave me a whole lot more of uncertainty I never knew what was wrong with me because I in a period of two years I did over 200 interviews and I've never nobody gave me a very comprehensive feedback about how did they feel about interviewing me or anything and the matter of fact is nobody will that's the fact so so on the top of the emotional instability the uncertainty the low self-esteem that I mentioned I had now to deal with rejection and his financial problem started to knock on my door and that just make things worse okay so that's that's the whole scenario that really grow from month to month year to year despite of me always being you know optimistic but there are things that I didn't see that I see now that's the fact so the result of this bubble of instability and distress led me to depression anxiety so I saw myself fighting between depression anxiety on a daily on a minute basis okay so I really didn't know what to do that's the fact because I was spiritually and emotionally out of myself I just couldn't get put myself together and it was a very difficult moment for me although I was meditation but not with the regular and I never connected what I what was happening to me as a spiritual emotional distress I was thought that it was that's where the depression comes from is that you feel guilty about not being able to accomplish something that you find yourself capable of so when you when you're certain that you are able to perform a job and you don't get it the depression piles up you know the depression knocks on your door and you start feeling as though I'm fooling myself you start thinking I'm not the one that I thought I was that's the reality and as I said this is something that happened to me and I am most positive that it might have happened to somebody else you know you start having doubts about yourself you start having doubts about your ability to perform ability to perform socially at a job technically and the anxiety comes as you don't see a light at the end of the tunnel that's as simple as that you don't you just don't see how this is going to end and if you do it's not going to end well so basically this is in summary this is how it led me to a point where I went to a monastery here in Toronto and I did my first official let's call it meditation session and and I brought that knowledge home and I tell you that the my first moment of peace without depression and without anxiety was exactly during those meditation moments that moment where I told myself when I told myself I'm not going to allow myself to feel anxiety or depression while I'm seated here well while I'm meditating while I'm trying to reach peace of mind of body of spirit I'm not going to let them so it started little by little second by second first a few seconds and then a few minutes and then more minutes and one hour the the moment of peace started growing and I started feeling good about myself I started finally finding a harbor where I could you know be without worrying without being depressive without judging and questioning myself it's not a it's not an easy path for the meditation once you see it on the on the cushion or on the floor or on the chair once you do that it demands discipline from you okay it demanded discipline from myself and the moment I joined the monastery to do my first my first made a formal meditation session and I felt that peace inside me I told myself I have to find a discipline I have to sit down on a daily basis because if I don't I'm going to get crazy and this is not going to lead to a safe place for me okay so I started practicing little by little five minutes here five minutes there are ten minutes here ten minutes there most of the time I'm seated I'm I was too struggling and battling my my inner critic that we all have all right that little voice inside your head that tells you that you were piece of shit that you're not capable of doing anything where you lost your job and received your family and Eterra Eterra Eterra so from from trying to find a window from not trying but but from finding a window of silence it takes time it really took time to for me to find a window but once you find it it's like discovering something you don't want to let it go you just want to explore it more and more that's why I think when I tell my students I get curious about what you're feeling get curious about the sensations it's about being curious about that window I was very curious about the window of peace of moment without judgment and without this destructive feelings so and I was able to you know increase augment the the window little by little patiently okay so the the the the the the magic of being in the present moment and not with depression with for me represented the past things of the past and anxiety that represented things of the future and I was when I when I started breathing in a meditation tradition when a Tibetan meditation tradition I started breathing slowly and when you inhale you just let the past go when you exhale you let the future go your moment is between the inhalation and the exhalation once you find that moment where the inhalation change to exhalation that's the present moment that's the moment where you let the you let the past go and you are about to let the future go that's the moment that took me some time to find okay and that was the moment that I could pinpoint as the present moment so as I said it's a it's a journey everyone has their own journey I had my own journey and I was able to slowly recall recover myself steam okay by meditating on the values meditating on my ethics meditating on my morals a lot of Buddhism texts that I started reading about suffering about being a human being because when you work on a most of the times when you work on a cooperation the last thing you remember is that you are a human being to be true okay so I started realizing that you know I make mistakes everybody does I suffer everybody does there is a path to suffering the suffering you know the first the first turn of the wheel the Buddha when he woke up from enlightenment and he turned the first wheel of the four noble truths and he said there is suffering the suffering has a cause and the suffering has an ending and this is the ending of the suffering and you have the eightfold path and I started reading all of those things and I said wow that makes sense to me so that's when I got started to get attached to the Buddha teachings not as a religion I would like to say here I'm a Catholic I'm not I don't study the Buddhist texts as a religion I study as a lot of philosophy of life and since then I started to base my life on the teachings and philosophy of Buddha because that texts alongside with the that knowledge let's call it the whole knowledge which is amazing if you think that everything was put down in Britain starting 2500 years ago and that knowledge really resonated with my situation really resonated with my logical kind of thinking and alongside with meditation I was able to slowly recover slowly get in touch with my true self slowly getting in touch with my personal values and morals ethics and all such what also meditation did to me was allowed me to face reality with reality not reality with fantasy you have I had this fantasy or when you start going through the depression anxiety path you you definitely start to believe on what your inner critic is saying so you start looking at reality through the lenses of your inner critic which is not the healthiest thing to do and this would be a long conversation to talk about what truth is but basically this is what happened to me and slowly and consistently I started feeling good about myself I started feeling good about all you know breathing freely and with you know positive sensations but a positive emotions and spiritually fulfilled as a spiritual fulfilled person and I tell and I told myself you know what I want to help people that go people that go through this process and they have absolutely no support from the companies they have absolutely no support emotional and spiritual support to face the challenges ahead challenges outside and inside their bodies their minds that's the thing so I decided to study and to become a meditation teacher and for a year now over a year now I've been teaching meditation and I the feedback I receive are the feedbacks I receive are amazing feedbacks and really makes me feel that I have found my my mission I have found my journey so meditation does not is not a property of any of any religion it's not a property of the Catholics Jewish Hindus or whatever meditation is a property of the humankind you don't have to be a monastic person or you don't have to have two hours a day to sit down and meditate it's just about you getting in touch with yourself and I wanted to share this and I thank my friend Bruno for that we are going to publish our conversation real soon because he has a lot to tell about his side of story too and what he has been a witness to professionals out there but I I didn't have time to really express everything I wanted to express in this podcast that we're going to publish so this is a much detailed version of my of my detail of my version on how I how and why I became a meditation teacher okay so I hope you you know I don't hope you'll see yourself in this story but the truth is I don't I really don't hope that you have to go through everything I did in order to find a tool such as meditation to help you move forward in life but if you did and if you want to talk about that just you know reach out to me I really would love to help even if by pointing the right direction or you know just anything just let me know I will put my contact information somewhere around this audio so as promised let's let me see here we I've been talking to you for 23 minutes okay let's do a very quick meditation about 10 minutes meditation 10-15 minutes it's just about one of the things I really reinforce with my students is that there's one thing that is precious to us and we really do not pay attention to is breathing I can I can live without eating for weeks I can live without water for days but I cannot live without air for more than five six minutes so breathing although instinctively our body breathes in order to survive that's why it instinctively breathes the breath is the most important resource of life that we have so paying attention to breathing is a way to connect with the life source and that's what we're going to do right now so if you want to pause find yourself a comfortable place a place that you can be by yourself for five ten minutes can be a meeting room or it can be your bedroom or whatever you can pause here and I will start the meditation okay okay so the basic aspect of meditation is you must feel comfortable okay especially when you're starting comfort is fundamental to the progress of meditation because if if you and you will start feeling body discomfort sensation discomfort mind discomfort moving forward you you you you will realize through the practice of meditation that those discomforts are temporary they are not going to stay they come and go and all you have to do is not to pay attention to it okay so find yourself a comfortable position you can sit cross-legged or you can sit on a chair or you're feeling down that's okay too we start by taking a couple of deep breaths a deep inhalation through your nose and when you exhale just let the air go through your mouth just like a big sigh again inhale through your nose relax your shoulders through this site of relief when you inhale straighten your spine open your chest when you exhale just let your shoulders drop one more another one and the last one as deep as you can you inhale and you let go all of the air from your lungs in a site of relief and now you return to your regular breathing but this time I will guide you to breathe softly and slowly as you inhale and a soft and slow exhalation a soft slow and gentle inhalation a soft slow gentle exhalation be gentle build a relationship of gentleness with your body and with your breath while you're doing that you don't need to hurry just breathe softly and gently breathe slowly as if you were filling your nostril with air and exhale through your nose softly and gently inhale softly gently and slowly exhale softly gently and slowly pay attention to the breathing so such as that you keep the same rhythm and the same depth of inhalation and exhalation between cycles as with any normal human mind your mind will try to pull you away from your breathing exercise by thinking worrying bringing images speeches sounds or sensations of your body discomfort that's totally okay that's what the mind and body does they're just doing what they're supposed to do what you need to do is just bring your attention to the breathing making sure that the inhalation is very soft and gentle and the exhalation is soft and gentle as well and it's a it's cycle blasts the same time as the other one and each breathing goes as deep as the other one once again thoughts noises images in your mind noises sounds voices will try to distract you body sensations discomforts your leg might be hurting that's totally okay that's just temporary all you have to do is bring your attention back to the breathing and slowly feeling yourself comfortable in this position feeling yourself warm and comfortable while you're doing this exercise with your soft and gentle inhalation and soft gentle exhalation soft gentle inhalation and soft gentle exhalation slowly and gently start expanding your attention towards your body noticing the sensation of the air on your skin the pressure of your body on the cushion the chair or the bed or anywhere you're laying down notice that your body occupies a space it touches and it interacts elements as well as with your inner self and as you expand this attention you can start wiggling your fingers stretching your toes you can move your shoulders back and forth and you can move your head around to relax your neck and slowly and gently invite yourself to open your eyes get used to the light get used to the colors to the environment around you you can look at yourself look at your skin look at your body and and that's it that's a very short meditation it lasted about 15 minutes um helps you appreciate your body your mind and the breath the breath connects your mind and body and through the breath you will find inner peace and balance i hope i didn't speak much i hope i could bring you some information that might help you somehow if not it was good talking to you i'll see you next time thank you bye bye

Reviews

Just got laid off yesterday so this is a nice start.

Thank you for this. I just found out I'm being permanently let go in 2 months. Your story gives me hope.

Thanks so much for sharing your story - in other words there is hope 😳 Hopefully I am now at the darkest hour ie just before dawn, but I am still very unsure of my direction 🙃

Feeling very grateful with you sharing this fabulous story & meditation😊
Be Blessed 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

This was perfect. You have the great gift of a powerful meditation teacher! Thank you so much.

Thank you🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻Always good to hear someone else’s story🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Thank You!! “Soft and gentle” breathing resonated with me.