Most of us have a little darkness now and then.
You know those days when,
For whatever reason,
We feel a bit heavy or disconnected or less motivated than usual.
Sometimes the feeling comes after loss or sudden change.
It could be sadness or grief or just generally feeling blah.
Or maybe it shows up out of the blue for no apparent reason at all.
It can make us feel empty,
Irritable,
Tired,
Guilty,
And feeling bad about ourselves.
And maybe even frustrated or anxious after we try to fix whatever's wrong with us.
Sometimes we tend to avoid or resist what we're feeling or numb ourselves with substances or activities that divert our attention,
Thinking we can push away the darkness,
Which only exacerbates the problem.
Sometimes nothing we do seems to help.
But what if we learn to approach ourselves with patience and self-compassion and learn to become aware of whatever we're feeling without being swallowed up by it?
In mindfulness,
We intentionally turn with curiosity toward our experiences that we might normally avoid.
We befriend our experiences.
Turning towards them can help us to shed light on them.
This is similar to sunlight on mold.
Flow with this metaphor for just a minute.
Mold can't survive the sun's ultraviolet rays.
When the mold spores are exposed to light,
They can't thrive.
And so too,
Our negative or intrusive thoughts are like the mold.
When they're exposed to the light of examination,
They're less likely to survive.
It's as if we're taking a spotlight on our thoughts to become aware of them,
But without getting overly attached or caught up with them.
Simply noticing them and letting them go.
One way to deal with thoughts is to examine them.
Another way is to observe sensations in our bodies.
Sensations such as tension,
Pressure,
Heat,
Cold,
Lightness,
Heaviness,
An itch,
Butterflies in the stomach.
Whatever we're experiencing in our minds also shows up in our bodies.
There's a constant connection between your body and mind known as the mind-body connection.
Think about how you felt the last time you were really happy.
Maybe you felt more energy in your body or lightness in your chest and heart area.
It was an entire body experience.
Most of us feel basic emotions in our stomach or chest,
Which affects all our body and connects to our breathing and our heart rate.
When you're feeling happy,
Sad,
Or angry,
Your brain communicates and receives signals and you experience immediate changes in your body.
Some of us notice our thoughts and maybe feelings but not necessarily our bodies and their physical sensations.
We can learn a lot by paying attention to our physical sensations just by taking a moment to notice what we're feeling.
We can train ourselves to get out of our heads and notice what we're experiencing in the present moment as opposed to regrets about the past or worries about the future.
We work on practicing placing our attention where we want it to go rather than ruminating or thinking about something over and over.
We recognize the thoughts come and go and that they're not necessarily facts.
We try to accept the way things are rather than wanting things to be different than they are.
And when we practice mindful meditation,
We practice noticing sensations,
Feelings,
Thoughts without getting tangled up in them,
Which can help us see things in a fresh way.
So how can we shed more light on our thoughts,
Feelings,
And sensations to improve mood and well-being?
This time of the year we have the shortest days of the year with the least amount of light but we naturally yearn for light.
Sunlight is essential for our health and emotional well-being.
So how can we get more light on these days of less light?
Light candles.
Candles play an important part in Jewish ritual.
We will soon celebrate Hanukkah.
The candles we light symbolize the eternal light or the Nir Tamid from the temple times and the miracle of the continued illumination of the menorah even though there was very little oil left.
The Hanukkah lights are placed in the window as a symbol to remind us that darkness can be dispelled with hope.
Here's a mindfulness meditation using a candle as the focus of the meditation.
You can observe the candle or candles after you light your menorah or you can just light a candle and observe that.
During the meditation you'll train yourself to focus your mind and your gaze on the flame especially when thoughts come up and pull at your attention.
Thoughts are natural but we can train ourselves to simply observe the thoughts rather than interact with them and candle meditation is a good way to try this.
So here's some instructions for a candle meditation.
You can spend five to ten minutes or even more.
First find a space where you won't be disturbed.
Sit up straight but relax.
Make sure your shoulders aren't tensed and make sure that your candle is about 50 centimeters or 20 inches away from you and start to notice your breath.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Take a moment to notice the air coming in through your nose going down all the way to your belly and coming back out again.
Breathing naturally and easily not controlling your breath in any way.
Stare at the candle and allow it to be the main focus of your mind.
Try to hold your eyes steady.
Take a few moments to adjust your eyes and bring your awareness to the flame.
Notice its color,
How big or small it is,
The shape.
How does it feel to notice the candle in this way?
When you feel distracted or bored gently return your attention to the flame.
So take a few moments now to observe the flame and the candle.
When you feel your eyes getting tired or watery you can close them and focus your awareness on the image of the candle in your mind.
Once you feel your eyes are ready you can open them again and focus once again on the candle.
Allow yourself to breathe naturally and freely.
As you focus on the candle imagine the light flowing into you with each inhalation and continue to keep your eyes fixed on the flame.
Where is your mind right now?
Return your attention to the candle when your mind has wandered.
Feel free to take as much time in this practice as you want.
Taking a few more breaths and focusing on the candle and if you're ready taking a moment to slowly return your gaze and attention to the room.
Feel free to continue this meditation.
The story of Hanukkah teaches us that light can triumph over dark.
As the winter begins we experience more darkness.
May we enable more light to enter our lives giving us the capacity to manage the darker days with acceptance and patience.
Winter is a perfect time to start a mindful meditation practice.
