We've all had times when we find ourselves spiraling into negative thoughts,
Pessimism,
And dwelling on the bad stuff around us.
Sometimes our situation is genuinely difficult and painful.
Chronic stress,
Pain,
And uncertainty are a part of life.
And we might lose hope and stop noticing the positive things around us.
It's during these moments when we can sink into negativity that it's important to also see the positive,
And mindfulness can train our minds to notice the good around us.
I'm not talking about ignoring or minimizing what we're feeling.
We need to make room for all of our feelings,
Acknowledge them,
Process them,
And take care of ourselves.
But we can also allow ourselves to see the positive things,
Because they are there too.
Mindfulness practice helps us focus on the present moment,
Reducing the tendency to overthink past events or worry about the future.
By paying attention to current experiences without judgment,
We can break the cycle of negative thinking and rumination.
When we're in chronic stressful situations,
This could be very challenging.
We might feel a loss of control,
Uncertainty,
Fears about the future,
And just run down and burned out.
Here's a couple examples of living with chronic stress.
Imagine someone caring for her elderly mother with Alzheimer's.
She might feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts,
Like,
This will never get better,
Or I'm losing my life to this disease too.
There might be small moments of connection or seeing the ups and downs in her mother's condition,
But she feels overwhelmed by the constant caregiving and the nature of the disease.
She struggles to appreciate moments of clarity or the support from friends.
Or,
Consider someone living with chronic pain,
Such as chronic back pain.
They might feel flooded with negative thoughts,
Like,
I'll never feel normal again,
Or my life is ruined by this pain.
Despite having good pain management days and support from family,
There's a struggle to see beyond the daily pain and limitations,
Not to mention the fear of future pain overshadowing any relief that they might experience.
We end up becoming overwhelmed,
Lost in intense emotions,
And fearful of the future.
Mindfulness increases awareness of our emotions,
Making it easier to recognize and address them before they become overwhelming.
Regular mindfulness practice helps develop a calm or measured response to stressors,
Rather than reacting impulsively.
Mindfulness also helps us accept things that we can't change,
Helping us cope with uncertainty and change more effectively.
Psychologist and author Rick Hansen developed a practice called taking in the good,
Or tilting towards the good.
He talks about the negativity bias,
Which means that we tend to remember negative experiences more than positive ones.
In the days of the cavemen,
This was a good thing.
It helped them see potential dangers and protect themselves to survive.
Today,
It's less helpful.
Focusing more on the negative makes us more anxious,
Depressed,
And irritable.
We also miss out on so much of the good stuff in our lives.
For most of us,
Painful experiences are more memorable than pleasurable ones.
We're very good at overlooking our blessings and dwelling on all the bad stuff.
We might have a full day,
And on the way home,
Someone cuts us off in traffic,
Or the store is out of the one thing that we need.
And that's what we tell our spouse or a roommate when we get home.
That's what sticks.
Some of this is built into us,
And some we learn growing up.
But how can we hang in there when everything around us seems so difficult?
How can we keep our faith or trust that things will work out when there's so much chaos around us?
Practicing to take in the good can give us a pause and help us cope with challenges.
We might not even notice joy because we're distracted,
Or we get so used to our experiences and surroundings that they become ordinary.
Consciously paying attention can help us appreciate things we don't notice.
And it's a practice,
So it's good to repeat it.
That's how it sinks in.
It's not a one-time exercise.
So the good news is that we can train our minds to notice the good and the positive too.
We can work with our minds and our thinking by making the conscious decision to notice our negative thinking,
But also notice something positive and incline our minds to the good over and over again,
Just like we do in anything we practice or we want to learn.
We're going to find something in real life,
In real time,
That's positive,
Something that we appreciate now.
Let's start by just taking a moment to get comfortable in a seated position,
In a chair,
On a mat,
Or a cushion on the floor,
And notice your breath.
Not thinking about it,
Or breathing in a certain way,
But really feel it coming in and going out.
We can learn a lot by observing our breath.
What do you notice when you observe your breath?
Take a moment to observe your breath right now.
Is your mind distracted?
Are you thinking about the breath rather than experiencing it?
Are you anticipating the next breath?
Settle back and let the breath come to you.
As many times as you need,
Remind yourself to let the breath come to you.
Feel it.
That's how we can give ourselves some space to rest,
Which can help us deal with whatever life is dishing out.
So let's take another moment to be with our breath.
Another way we can deal with challenges is to notice the positive.
And again,
I'm not talking about ignoring or minimizing whatever we're feeling.
We have to make room for that and acknowledge it,
Process it,
Deal with it,
And take care of ourselves.
Can you find a moment that's positive,
Joyful,
Or a blessing right now?
Some act of kindness,
Love,
Something you appreciate,
Or something else?
Notice it.
Notice something right now in your life that's positive.
It could be anything.
We overlook it when we dwell on the negative,
Or the bad.
Take a moment now and notice some things around you right now in the room or the space you're in.
As many things as you can notice.
Just take a look around the room.
Let your eyes wander.
Choose one thing and really sit with it and feel it.
Get a clear picture of it in your mind.
Let it sit or sink in.
Take a moment now to notice something around you right now in the room or the space you're in.
Take a moment now and really breathe it in.
Imagine it,
Feel it,
See it,
And use whatever other senses you want.
What are you feeling?
Happy,
Moved,
Excited,
Content,
At ease,
Something else?
How's your body responding?
What sensations in the body are you noticing?
And what about thoughts?
What kind of thoughts are coming up right now?
These positive things,
These blessings,
These things you appreciate,
They're here right now.
In your everyday life.
So here's a challenge for you for the next two weeks.
Actively and consciously train yourself to notice the good things,
The blessings in your life right now.
Moments of joy or gladness,
Well-being,
Satisfaction,
Consciousness,
Kindness,
Peacefulness,
Comfort,
Ease,
Happiness,
Whatever word you like.
Notice these as they show up in your life in real time.
And when you do notice,
Pause,
Really soak it in.
Notice how you feel about it emotionally.
Notice how your body responds.
Are you smiling?
Are you sighing in pleasure?
Do you feel more excited or happier,
Lighter,
Moved?
Are any thoughts coming up?
Pause and really take it in.
Try this six times a day,
Every day,
For two weeks.
Doing this six times a day,
About 15 seconds.
That's right.
15 seconds is all.
Each time for two weeks can counterbalance your natural negativity bias and ramp up your joy and resilience.
Thank you for joining me.
Take the challenge and let me know how it goes.
Take the challenge and let me know how it goes.
