Complaining Versus Gratitude : Mindfulness & Parshat Sh'lach

Complaining versus gratitude in the weekly Torah portion, Sh'lach, and the spies. Summary of the Torah Portion about the spies and their report with a discussion of complaining and the negativity bias versus gratitude. The last half leads us into a guided mindful gratitude practice.
Thank you for listening and practicing with me.

Transcript

Gratitude and the Torah portion.

In this week's Torah portion,

Shlach,

The people of Israel requested to check out the land before they enter.

Twelve princes,

People of stature,

One from each tribe,

Are chosen to go spy out the land of Israel,

Presumably to learn about the character of the land,

The habits of its inhabitants,

Or to help develop a military strategy,

And they come back with a mixed report and conclude it's not possible to go into the Promised Land due to its inhabitants,

Who are giants and stronger than them.

We are grasshoppers in their sight.

The people of Israel hear their report,

Panic,

And said that it would have been better to die in the wilderness rather than try to enter the land that God has promised them.

How is it that these same people who saw miracle after miracle and felt God's constant protection and bounty were wailing to go back to Egypt,

The land of their enslavement?

In times of prosperity,

There's a risk of ingratitude and forgetting all we have.

Most of us are fortunate,

And we have what we need,

Good health,

Family,

Employment.

We have a lot of good in our lives,

But when things are not 100%,

We tend to complain.

We're actually hardwired to remember the negative.

The negativity bias refers to our proclivity to attend to and learn from and use negative information far more than positive information.

Negative events often elicit stronger responses than neutral or positive ones,

Which might explain why we often recall and think about insults more than compliments,

Why we dwell on unpleasant events more than pleasant ones,

And focus our attention more quickly on negative rather than positive information.

Gratitude is built into daily Jewish life.

The first thing we say when we wake up in the morning is,

Mo De'ani.

We thank God for restoring our souls to us after a night's sleep.

We're taught very early in our lives not to take things for granted and to demonstrate our appreciation and thankfulness and our feelings of gratitude towards all kindness and benefits received and from whom we receive them.

The first part of our morning prayers are blessings.

They're called Birkot HaShachar,

For things that we might take for granted,

Like getting out of bed,

Seeing,

The ability to walk,

Having our needs provided for,

And so on.

How many of us wake up in the morning and really count our blessings?

Many of us take these precious gifts and so many others for granted.

Being grateful means we have less to complain about.

It makes life happier being conscious of all that we have.

Gratitude is a positive state of mind and expressing it gives us a sense of contentment and well-being.

In our daily lives,

We must see that it's not happiness that makes us grateful,

But that gratefulness makes us happy.

Also showing gratitude to other people brings happiness to the recipient.

Gratitude and appreciation are important in building healthy relationships.

So how do we look at the big picture before we start complaining?

The big picture is that there is an abundance of blessings we are enjoying despite the bumps in the road that sometimes we go over.

How can we learn to cultivate gratitude?

And how can mindfulness help us?

Let's start a mindfulness meditation practice on gratitude.

So let's start by settling in and getting comfortable for sitting in a chair,

For lying down on the floor,

On our bed,

Inside,

Outside.

It doesn't matter how you are for this practice.

It matters the attention that you bring.

So let's start with noticing.

Noticing something simple that you are experiencing at this moment.

If you are outside,

Maybe it's the side of a tree swaying gently in the wind,

Or the warmth of the sunlight on your skin,

Or maybe the experience of comfort from the chair you are sitting in,

Or just the simple wonder of pausing in the middle of your busy life to engage with this practice right now.

So choosing one thing to notice and allowing it fully into your experience.

So we'll take a few moments to let this appreciation and gratitude arise and fill our bodies and minds.

And now thinking about another thing that we might take for granted.

Noticing or any tools that we use that support our work and our personal life.

It could be our computer,

Books,

A workspace,

A car,

Any equipment we need for work or for home.

So choosing one thing and considering all that was needed to create it.

Maybe you purchased it in a store,

Ordered it online,

Or got it from someone,

But someone made the tools or equipment that you use for work or at home.

So appreciating and feeling gratitude that you have access to these tools.

And now taking a moment of feeling gratitude for people you work with or live with and imagining a particular person whose work or efforts directly supports your work or your personal life.

So appreciating their contribution,

Their good intention,

Their support,

And maybe even saying in your mind to them,

Thank you.

So taking a few moments now to rest with this image.

And now focusing our attention on someone that we care about.

So picturing that person in your mind in as many details as you can.

Thinking about what this person means to you,

What you appreciate about them,

What you've experienced together,

The impact they've had in your life.

And while imagining them,

Noticing what feelings are arising in you,

What sensations you detect in your body,

Especially those in the area of your heart.

And maybe even imagining your heart expanding a little bit and allowing yourself to express gratitude towards them.

Understanding who they are,

Appreciating their presence in your life,

And imagining them receiving your gratitude.

And now bringing to mind something specific that you're grateful for today.

Feel the appreciation and the gratitude for its presence in your life and allowing yourself to rest in that experience.

When you cultivate the practice of gratitude,

You might even be able to be grateful for difficult or unpleasant experiences.

So if it's not too difficult,

Bringing to mind an experience in your life that it is or was challenging and one for which you'd like to be able to express some gratitude,

Offering your gratitude and appreciation,

Maybe even thanking this challenge for what it offers you.

And bringing into your awareness any gratitude that you might have for your body or mind or maybe even just being alive at this moment.

And finally appreciating the opportunity to stop and experiences this very practice of gratitude in itself.

Appreciating the time you've taken for all the countless gifts in your life.

Maybe even saying thank you to yourself and maybe making an intention to continue this practice daily or weekly.

Allowing the sense of gratitude to fill you completely as you breathe in and you breathe out alive and present in this very moment.

And now gently and slowly opening your eyes and returning your awareness to wherever you are.

If you'd like to cultivate practicing gratitude meditation,

Try the habit of thinking or imagining about something you feel grateful for every morning right when you wake up.

Reviews

Thank you so much for sharing this meditation. No music is a very good idea as well.

Insightful and Calming

Wonderful blending of Torah wisdom with mindfulness. Thank you for a beautiful guided practice.