For When We Feel Disappointment

Disappointment and frustration often arise when things don't go according to our plans or wishes. It's an uncomfortable and often unpleasant feeling and can be hard to shift or move forward from. This practice can help you be with the feeling of disappointment or frustration, to explore it with kindness and curiosity and offers the antidote of gratitude which can help shift our physical and emotional experience, allowing us to move forward with acceptance, wisdom and grace.

Transcript

Hello.

If you've chosen to join me for this practice,

I'm guessing it's because something has happened or not happened that you wish wasn't so.

Disappointment and frustration often arise when we make plans or have hopes for something or a certain outcome and yet life delivers us something else.

It's natural to feel disappointment and frustration,

But they aren't easy feelings to embrace and we can find ourselves stuck in them,

Unable to move forward.

Or we choose to distract ourselves from them in ways that perhaps don't serve us very well.

There are no quote-unquote bad feelings,

They all arise to teach us what we need to know.

I'm hoping that this practice will help you skillfully navigate and explore these feelings and move through them so you can move forward with more grace and wisdom.

So I invite you to begin by adopting a comfortable intentional posture.

That could be sitting in an upright position on a chair or on a cushion or mat or that could be lying down.

Just ensuring that you are as comfortable as possible and that your spine is aligned.

Allowing the eyes to close if that feels available to you or perhaps just gently lowering the gaze.

And beginning by taking a few nice deep breaths in,

Holding for a moment or two and then slowly releasing the breath.

And as you release the breath,

Inviting a sense of returning home to the body,

To the present moment,

To this here and now.

Allowing the breath now to find its own natural rhythm,

Allowing it to breathe you without effort.

Bringing the attention into the contact points of the body with the surface that's supporting you.

Perhaps that's the ground beneath your feet or legs or the chair or cushion on which you're sat.

Really feeling into that sense of connection and support,

Allowing the body to surrender its weight to gravity.

Inviting you now to bring to mind that which is the source of your disappointment or frustration.

I would just caution you to avoid anything you know to be traumatic or especially triggering because this practice will not provide you with the safe support that's required for such an experience.

So perhaps it's a disappointment associated with work or your career.

Plans you were really looking forward to that fell through.

Someone you care about has done something or not done something.

Or perhaps it's something else.

And seeing if it's possible with gentle curiosity to bring that situation or scenario to life in your mind.

Perhaps the faces of the people involved.

Hearing the words that were spoken or any other details that make it more vivid.

And allowing that sense of disappointment or frustration to make itself felt.

And knowing that it's okay to not like these feelings,

To not want them.

But seeing if it's possible to allow them to be here and to acknowledge that they belong.

They're here to teach you something important.

And inviting you to be curious about the experience of disappointment or frustration.

How do you know it's disappointment or frustration you're experiencing?

And do you feel it in a certain area of the body?

Perhaps in the chest or the throat?

And is it written on your face,

In your expression?

And do you sense it in the abdomen?

Or shoulders?

Or limbs?

Or somewhere else entirely?

And can you explore the quality or nature of the feeling?

Is it a sense of heaviness or tightness?

Heat or cold?

And when you have a clearer sense of the location,

Shape,

Texture,

Temperature or tone of the feeling,

Inviting you to silently acknowledge the feeling.

Perhaps saying in the mind something like,

Ah,

Here is disappointment.

One of the great antidotes to disappointment and frustration is gratitude.

The human mind has a tendency to dwell and focus on the things that we might consider negative or wrong.

And in those moments we easily forget all that we have to be grateful for.

And while it won't change events or circumstances,

Remembering this gratitude can shift the way we feel about things.

So inviting you now to let go of the source of your disappointment and frustration and to place your hand or hands on your heart.

Or you might prefer to hold your hands as if you were shaking your own hand.

Taking a moment to sense into the warmth,

Touch and pressure of your own hand and skin.

This act releases the hormone oxytocin into the bloodstream,

Which invites a sense of connection,

Love and well-being.

And bringing to mind something about your whole life for which you are deeply grateful.

That could be something like the very fact that you're alive or that you have family or friends or health or meaningful work or a comfortable home.

Whatever comes to mind for you.

Really bringing that thing to life in your mind in technicolor detail.

Faces,

Voices,

Images,

Colors and sounds.

And really sensing into the feeling of gratitude that arises.

Noticing how it feels in the body.

And taking a moment to really enjoy that feeling.

Now letting go of that thought and bringing to mind something about nature for which you are truly grateful.

And perhaps that sunshine or clean water or beautiful plants and creatures or the moon and stars at night.

Sunrise or sunset.

Whatever inspires the most gratitude in you.

Again inviting you to really bring that to life in your mind.

Utilizing all your physical senses if possible.

Sight.

And allowing those sensations to imprint themselves on your mind and in your heart.

Really relishing them.

Letting go of nature's gift now.

And bringing to mind something about your physical self for which you're grateful.

And that could be something associated with the senses.

Such as eyes to see beauty and the faces of those you love.

Ears to hear music or laughter.

A mouth and tongue to enjoy delicious food,

Speak your truth or kiss a loved one.

Or it could be a part of your body that supports you to do the things you enjoy.

Such as your hands which help you to make or care.

Your legs and feet which carry you on adventures or to do activities that light you up.

Whatever resonates most with you.

Is it possible to place your hands on that part of the body in acknowledgement and gratitude for all that it does for you?

Can you send that part of your body your deep thanks and appreciation?

Can you relive some experiences you've had using that part of the body?

Enjoying them all over again.

And finally shifting the attention away from that part of your body now.

And bringing to mind a single moment from your day.

Either today or yesterday for which you are deeply grateful.

That might be a kind word from someone.

Seeing something beautiful that made you pause and notice.

Enjoying something delicious to eat or drink.

A moment during an activity that was fun or relaxing.

And perhaps it was the simple pleasure of having a shower or climbing into bed at the end of a long day.

And just giving you a few moments to choose a noteworthy and gratitude-worthy moment from today or yesterday for you to focus on.

Again bringing it to life once more.

The faces.

The atmosphere.

The sounds or voices.

And noticing how it makes you feel in your body.

Allowing that feeling to spread throughout the body.

And sink into your bones.

Now of that memory and shifting the attention back to the breath.

Always bringing us back to the present moment.

To the here and now.

And as this practice draws towards a close,

Just taking a few moments to check in with your body now.

Is there a change or shift from how it felt at the start of the practice?

And checking in with the heart now.

What emotion or emotions feel most alive in you right now?

And noticing if that's different to the beginning of the practice.

Perhaps asking your heart the following question.

What message do you have for me right now?

And being open to whatever arises within you.

And that could be nothing at all in this moment.

And just taking a moment now to bring some gentle movement into the body.

To open your eyes if they've been closed or to lift the gaze.

And allowing the insights from this practice to settle and percolate for a few.

And knowing that these experiences,

These memories are always with you.

Always available.

Whenever you need some medicine to soothe the pain of disappointment or frustration.

Wishing you much peace and ease.

Until the next time.

Namaste.

Reviews

Soothing and described exactly what I was feeling! Thank you! 🙏🏽