How Does Change From Trauma Or Stuckness Really Happen?

Tired of being relentlessly stuck? Overwhelmed and despairing about the stories and feelings you can't get out of? Listen to this for inspiration and pick up key approaches and resources to find the fresh edge of your experience beyond the rut of well worn unhelpful and painful patterns.

Transcript

Yeah,

So,

What do we do with stuck feelings,

Seemingly?

Stuck feelings of,

Let's say,

Jealousy or anger or irritation or hurt.

Probably the hurt is something that historically I can relate to,

Actually,

Being,

As it were,

Stuck with feelings of hurt.

I'm sure we all have feelings we can relate to that seemingly don't go away when we want them to.

But feelings related to emotions,

I suppose,

Kind of an embodied sense of the feeling tone running through the body and an emotion is,

As our feelings,

As it were,

Always connected to a story,

Some kind of story there.

And yeah,

The stories can be kind of triggered into being.

They can present themselves.

For example,

If we go to a familiar place from our past,

You know,

Where we used to live or where a significant event happened,

A death maybe or a period of our life where it was challenging and we go back to that place,

Often an echo of that feeling can be triggered,

Can't it?

I remember catching a Santa smell a few years back of fresh new carpets and it took me back to boarding school,

Actually,

That would be when I was 15 in a new block that was built,

Purpose built for a senior house.

And yeah,

It took me all the way back to that time and it was really interesting and that was just a kind of a smell.

So we can be triggered into feelings like that.

And in a way,

Our whole life is,

In a way,

It's nothing but,

In many respects,

A part of it is a continual triggering of feelings.

Yeah,

We're just conditioned,

As it were,

All the time to react.

So one model of life,

You could say,

Is that an event happens,

You know,

Someone says something or even doesn't say something,

Does something or doesn't do something or the weather changes or so you get stimulated or a memory comes up.

So you've got all these kind of stimulations,

Stimulus really,

And then you get the reaction and the reaction is just a conditioned response.

It's pretty normal or we wouldn't be alive.

So something conditioned responds.

In a way,

It's related to how we have responded.

It's mapped on that.

It's the best way the body responds according to what it knows,

How it knows to respond,

Given its past experience.

So it's doing its best to keep us connected to the life stream.

So you get event,

Stimulus,

Reaction.

And that is often a loop so then you get the reaction.

Like I would smell that smell of fresh carpets,

New carpets,

And then the reaction is memory of boarding school.

And then I could have another reaction and go,

Oh,

Wasn't that a terrible place and so-and-so was really an awful person or that master did this to me and that's caused this and it meant that this happened so you get the reaction and then you get another reaction based on that reaction.

And actually in a way you can get a kind of perpetual reaction until it dies away.

Another stimulus comes in to interrupt it.

Someone interrupts my reverie,

So to speak,

Of that subject by calling my name or something.

So you get another stimulus.

And of course you call my name,

You get another set of reactions,

Associations.

So there's this relationship between stimulus and reaction.

And I'm not going to call it response because that's different.

I'm going to use that word in a minute for something else.

So then when we get into a loop of.

.

.

So yeah,

Actually it is a loop.

So the feeling story loop goes something like,

For example,

Born in school maimed me,

Made me emotionally challenged and feelings of anger come up or irritation or despair.

And that kind of feeds back to the story,

Confirms the story,

Which confirms the feeling.

So you get this loop between story and feeling.

And it happens very quickly.

So as soon as the story comes up,

The feelings appear.

And as soon as the feelings appear,

It's kind of merged with the story.

So it kind of goes from the head to the body to the head.

So you get this loop between the thinking and the feeling.

So you can see that,

Can't you,

In your relationships with friends,

Children,

Partners,

Different stories in a way.

They're all there in some shape or form.

Some are just more obvious,

That's all.

You know,

A story,

Oh,

I get on very well with this person.

You know,

You might not notice that story.

And there could be many feelings with that.

But a story where there's anger or hurt,

For example,

Can be triggered.

And we really do know it quite quickly because it's quite affective.

It does really make a difference to us.

We notice and we can contract around that story and feel kind of trapped by it.

So it's a contracted,

Trapped state,

So to speak.

And equally,

Stories of love,

Where one has got a connection based on love and care.

Stories much more open and spacious and perhaps more affectively enjoyable.

Yeah,

So you have these stories and feelings.

So that's the trappedness,

That's the stuckness.

And seemingly,

The more we try and get out of it,

You know,

By force,

I can say,

I'm not going to think that anymore.

I'm not going to think that about boarding school anymore.

But it doesn't necessarily work like that,

Because the feelings still arise,

Even though I don't want them to.

And in some way,

The more I don't want them to,

The more they seem to be enhanced or stubborn.

It's a bit like me saying don't think of a pink pig,

Because as soon as you drop down to the subconscious,

What you don't want,

It tends to come up with that very thing.

So the pushing away invariably leads to a resistance.

So resistance itself,

The resistance to a feeling or a story isn't enough.

In fact,

It can exacerbate the whole situation.

And especially in terms,

You know,

If you're talking about anger and irritation,

One just gets more angry and irritated because it's not going away.

Or,

You know,

So it's a catch-22 there.

You know,

One's caught in that kind of small state,

In that contracted state,

And there's seemingly no way out.

And it's your… So there's a number of responses to that.

One response is to appeal to the world,

For the world to change somehow.

You know,

Especially in the current relationship,

We can blame someone for our feelings.

You know,

So the blame goes,

You made me feel like that.

You make me feel like that.

And when I remember it,

I feel like that.

So it's a blaming and judging element and labelling.

And you should know better.

You're not,

You know,

You're just purposefully doing that.

You're just a mean person.

So we carry that story.

And when we meet them,

We say to them,

You know,

You did that to me.

You're a horrible person.

And well,

Of course,

That person is not going to respond particularly well to that.

They're just going to either do more of what you don't want or pull away.

So they're going to get away from you as much as they can.

Or they're going to attack you,

You know,

And resist what you say.

Or indeed,

They might even go very passive and feel very browbeaten and despairing.

So they might go very quiet.

And you know,

Still,

It's not a communication.

So that there's that which perpetuates.

So going out into the world and expecting the world to change on your behalf doesn't necessarily and invariably doesn't work.

It just perpetuates that inner cycle of story,

Feeling,

Feeling story.

And what's more,

It becomes reinforced.

It adds to the view that that person is how they are,

Simply because they responded in a way which confirms your view.

So it's like this view becomes more systemic and environmental.

It confirms itself.

So one becomes even more trapped.

And then you say,

Oh,

If I don't go near that person,

I'll be free of them.

And eventually,

You can go to the other side of the world.

And you're only a thought away from that irritation and hatred.

So wherever you are,

There it is.

There's no escape in a way.

And it's a bit tragic because one wants the resolution,

And these strategies don't work.

And what's going to happen there,

Invariably,

If it keeps going,

It's going to turn in on itself and the blame is going to go from external to internal.

It's called depression and anxiety.

So that's what,

With these particularly strong patterns,

They can turn into depression and anxiety and neurosis,

Basically.

And they affect everyone else because that patterning isn't limited to that one person.

It becomes a patterning which is,

As it were,

Demonstrated to others,

Maybe people that we're close to.

So it kind of poisons the whole community of our experience.

And that's based on the reactive nature of habit.

And what I would call the closed system of the thinking mind is quite closed.

It's not open to hearing beyond its own view.

It won't do that.

It just insists that it's right.

And it kind of creates this kind of,

This sealed boundary.

And that's the perniciousness.

In a way,

That's also the beauty of how patterns maintain themselves.

So it itself,

Without blaming the blaming and judging and labelling,

We can see it's meeting needs.

It's meeting needs for consistency.

It's meeting needs for its cry to have empathy,

To be,

As it were,

Resolved.

It's also meeting needs for survival because that pattern just maintains itself.

It's a kind of,

It's a wonderful kind of perpetual motion which just seems to keep going.

So I think where we begin with all this,

With stuck feelings in us,

Whatever they might be,

Is the first thing we just do is really just pause and go,

Yeah,

This is going on.

And it's really tough,

Actually.

It's a very tough place to be.

And so really,

If we want to look at the model of event stimulus reaction,

It would normally go on to another reaction and another reaction to perpetuate it.

But we can actually change.

This whole patterning can actually melt.

There's another way here.

But the caveat on this other way is there's an approach.

Nonviolent communication,

Marshall Rosenberg's work is wonderful for this particular area of relationship.

And one of the things Marshall says is that as a precursor to growth and change,

We're invited to take responsibility more fully,

Whatever that means.

But what it means in this case is that there's a distinction between something being triggered in you and the cause of what arises in you.

In other words,

I can have that,

The smell of a new carpet triggering the boarding school experience.

But so the memories are triggered,

But the cause is my whole history of boarding school,

Of course,

And the unmet needs that didn't happen.

Well,

Certainly it was a rich experience.

It was a mixed bag.

I'm just using it as an example.

But the unmet needs,

Let's say,

That come forward from that experience.

So the trigger was the smell of a carpet,

The memories of boarding school as a kind of a felt sense of all that.

And then the reactive response is to blame and judge it and go,

Oh,

It's really bad.

And there's all this kind of boarding school syndrome now,

Isn't there,

And all that.

So as I realise it's been triggered,

But it's not causing what follows,

It invites me to take responsibility.

Then I own it.

I go,

Whatever arises in me actually is my stuff.

It's not actually to do with boarding school.

It's not actually to do with the person that we're blaming,

Believe it or not,

Although the story will insist it is.

But here in a way,

What you're invited to do is to test a model,

Test this kind of premise.

If you're continuing to be triggered and you're continuing to blame and hope that the world will somehow assuage your feelings by some confession coming back,

By you getting a confession or an apology,

Which invariably doesn't work often.

Has this changed?

That's the question.

Has it changed in this particular approach that you're taking?

And the invitation is,

Are you open to a new way of being?

Because once you open the door here,

Huge transformations can take place.

But the door is pretty sealed in this viewing process of I'm right,

You're wrong.

You know,

You're bad,

I'm good.

All that kind of stuff,

Blaming and judging,

Right,

Wrong.

And you should be punished for what you did.

So that sealed way of relating to the world is very,

Very cerebral.

It's very story led,

Actually.

So when we come into,

Yes,

OK,

Maybe they've triggered it,

But they haven't caused it.

OK,

That invites a new way of relating.

Because at that point,

What we're invited to do actually is pause.

And we pause and we start to question,

OK,

Well,

Which way then?

How do I relate to these inner feelings in a way that I haven't been?

Which allows them for forward movement and flow into a newness,

Because that's what happens when we change patterns.

Because a newness emerges from the old.

And I'm certainly remembering my history of depression in the past and other things,

Which were seemingly horribly stuck,

Actually,

To be honest,

As a young man.

Huge desperation,

Huge panic attacks,

Which was frequent and seemingly no way out.

And from the young man's perspective,

He was right.

From that way of viewing the world and relating,

There wasn't a way out.

He had to come into relationship with a new paradigm of being,

Which he did,

Actually.

So I think the word is relationship here.

It's not being hostage to whether the world will confess or not or somehow tell me I'm right.

It's actually taking full.

.

.

The first element to the paradigm is moving from this cerebral Cartesian,

I think,

Therefore I am world,

And all that goes on in that thinking world into there's more,

Actually.

There's a whole lot more.

And actually,

To demonstrate that whole lot more,

There's a kind of a paradigm of what I know,

What I don't know,

What I don't know,

I don't know.

Because what I know,

I can tell you what I know.

I can probably tell you what I don't know,

But it's based on what I know.

But I can't tell you what I don't know,

I don't know.

And that's a whole new space of curiosity,

Of play,

Of inquiry.

How do I get into what I don't know,

I don't know?

Well,

I can't in a way,

But what I can do,

I can engage in key processes.

And that is being curious,

Being open,

And being open is the ability to pause and listen,

To actually listen,

Not just to listen from my belief,

To actually listen and connect with someone else,

To actually listen to my environment and to the possibilities of what my environment is telling me.

To put myself in new situations like a retreat or,

You know,

Going away for a weekend,

Doing things I wouldn't normally do,

That's how we learn about what I don't know,

I don't know.

We're making ourselves more available,

Basically,

To possibility land.

So let's say this paradigm shift from judging,

Blaming,

Labelling,

Right,

Wrong,

Good,

Bad,

The closed in,

Sealed,

Constricted sense of self.

How we shift from that,

Basically,

Is the paradigm shift is moving from doing into being,

Is the doing mode,

The thinking mode,

Into the being mode.

That's the first step,

In a way.

The being mode is a whole body experience.

Given that we don't live in our body,

It's a lot of what we don't know going on here,

So I invite,

Because the thinking mind will try and claim being as something that it knows about.

I often get that.

I talk about presence and someone will say,

Oh,

Yes,

I know about presence.

I did a weekend on presence.

So you know immediately that they've got this view,

But they're not really in presence.

So the map is not the territory.

That's Alfred Korzybski.

The map is not the territory.

The menu is not the meal.

You don't go to a restaurant and eat the menu.

But in life,

People are invariably eating the menu and they're living from the menu.

They're not actually enjoying the taste of the food.

They're not actually in their experience.

So they're not open to what's actually going on in the moment.

They're not actually living from their sensing vitality.

They're living from their view of what they think vitality is.

And that actually is quite hard.

If you are inclined to be living in the head,

Everything is filtered through the head,

So it doesn't know any better.

So what you don't know,

You don't know really applies here.

So the invitation right now is to be curious and go,

Okay,

Let's just for now take it that there's something in me that doesn't know that doesn't know and let's be open.

So the openness is really,

Really important.

And I think it needs to be tempered with a sense of also a quality of forgiveness coming in,

Like the willingness to meet life afresh and a new possibility land,

Turning over a new leaf if you like.

A willingness to go,

Yeah,

Okay,

There are certain elements of my life that are quite repetitive and it seems like my life has got a bit stuck or a bit like that,

Which invariably happens to all of us from time to time.

So then we can just pause.

So the pausing is quite literal.

This is the first step into a quality of beingness,

Pausing,

Just stopping actually.

I mean you can stop literally,

You know,

In the sitting posture or standing posture,

But it's more of an attitudinal stopping,

Although the thinking might carry on and the feelings are going to carry on and the world's going to carry on,

But something in you just becomes more aware.

It's becoming more aware in a way,

This meta-awareness around the awareness is starting to grow.

It's starting to notice,

Oh yeah,

There is this thinking,

There are these feelings.

I am sitting here.

So in the pause,

We start to notice our feet on the ground.

So earthing and grounding is really,

Really important here.

So it's quite literal.

We're coming into a more natural place in ourselves of nature.

We're coming into a place of nature.

And in a way,

In this way,

We're coming into relationship.

So it's about relationship,

Not reaction.

Relationship is more of a responsive,

Alive quality in the moment.

So we move from event,

Trigger,

To reaction,

The reaction that happens in us,

Into response.

Or you could say into relationship.

So the response is like,

Ah,

These feelings have arisen.

So here you are,

Your feet's on the ground,

You're sitting on a seat perhaps.

You can begin to feel your body.

Here it is,

Right?

Breathing,

Looking around,

Seeing what you see,

Having a smile,

Sniff.

And I look around and see my dog and she's throwing a ball.

So you can hear me throw a ball for her now again.

So I'm in a relationship with my dog here.

And she's not going to let me forget it.

So here you are with whoever's around you.

Maybe you have a cat or a dog or something.

But what you can notice is your feeling tone in the body,

Right?

Now it's in the body.

It's not just a part of a story,

Which in this sense is you're merged with it.

In other words,

When you tell yourself a story and you get the feelings,

It's called being merged.

It's an I am.

I am angry.

I am jealous.

I am furious.

These are all I ams.

And once you're in an I am,

It's very difficult to get any purchase into relationship.

It's not possible actually.

It's called being overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed.

And in overwhelm,

Like with despair,

It's quite kind of paralyzing.

And it will,

In a way,

It will govern you.

It will seemingly control your actions and behaviour,

Which one later may regret,

Right?

We say that thing that we wouldn't normally want to say,

Or we do that thing we wouldn't normally do.

So we're merged.

So as we come into the beingness by pausing and grounding,

We're starting to move away from the merging because it becomes a something in me.

So we shift.

So if I do a little exercise with you and get you to close your eyes and say,

I am angry.

I am angry.

I am angry.

Or anxious or hurt,

Whatever.

Now say something in me feels angry.

Something in me feels angry.

Something in me feels a bit angry or a bit hurt or a bit sad.

Perhaps you might notice the shift as something is in actually in the body,

Right?

It's a something.

It's not an I am.

And in a way,

Once it's a something,

We can have a relationship with it.

We can put our hand on it and go,

Ah,

Yeah,

Something is a bit furious and there.

You're no longer merged fully and you're no longer actually overwhelmed in the way that you may have been.

Because right now,

Coming into the pause,

The grounding,

The earthing,

Into the sensing,

We can meet that part.

Now we can have a relationship with that part.

And what I mean by that is we're not going to force it to go away and we're not going to tell it to get bigger or louder.

Although it may feel like that,

It might become more intense slightly because it's telling you it's there.

But magically,

When you come into a relationship and consciously be with something,

It tends to find its own healing.

This is countercultural.

You don't need a therapist necessarily.

You are your own therapist and you can actually come into a relationship with these things.

And once you put your hand on it,

You can close your eyes and go,

Oh,

It's like that and me.

And you can sense into it from the body.

It might not be entirely comfortable,

But it's new.

It's a bit frightening maybe.

It's okay.

Many have gone down this road and come out with treasure.

Believe it or not,

Me being one of them.

So I'm actually sharing from experience and having worked with very extreme experiences at that.

So you put your hand on it.

It might be quite more ephemeral floating through the body.

It might be tightness in the chest or tummy.

And you just say,

Oh,

Hi,

Hello,

You there.

It's like that for you,

Right?

It's hurting or it's sad or it's angry or it's whatever.

Or I don't know,

But it's just like that for it.

And I'm just saying hello,

Hello to you.

Now I might sit with it for 20 minutes,

By the way,

Or even longer,

Just lay down and be with it.

Feeling the mattress underneath me and the warmth of the duvet on top of me,

Hearing the sound of the birds outside,

But also being kind of connected to this part and just keep saying hello in a very gentle way,

You know,

In a caring and loving way.

And eventually it begins to morph.

It can't,

It can't sustain itself once you come into a relationship.

And now you are responding creatively and it will offer you its unmet need.

And it could be peace and freedom,

Empathy,

Healing,

Wellbeing,

Joy,

Play.

Who knows what the unmet need is,

Respect and care,

But what you'll notice is there'll be some kind of melting of it in a way that's never happened before.

So this is a completely different paradigm.

It is completely different and it is evolutionary and responsive.

It's not reactive.

It's responsive.

It's relational.

This is why we have feelings so that we can have relationship with them because they are messengers.

They're not actually,

They're not actually turned up to torture us or tell us we're bad or to even say that the world is bad.

It's just saying,

Hey,

There's an unmet need or there's a met need because you often get feelings of joy and peace and ease and love,

Which are great.

You know,

We can enjoy those.

So sometimes with more trauma based feelings and stuff,

We need to relate to another person so we can actually do this process with them.

We can get them to sit quietly with us and we can say,

I'm just going to sit quietly.

I'd just like you to be with me as I do it.

It acts as a,

As a support to us because it may be something in this is a bit more frightened or a bit more vulnerable and we need that support.

What's good for this process is Jean Gendlin's focusing,

If you look that up on Google,

Jean Gendlin focusing.

It's a wonderful approach to deep depth healing and meaningful relationship that we can be companioned in the holding of our own edges,

Stories,

But predominantly embodied feeling.

We move from,

We always move from the story down into the body.

We hold lightly to the story.

We just keep coming back to the embodied nature of what's going on and say hello.

So it's not a technique because if you,

If you reduce it to a technique,

It will stop.

It won't work.

So there's a sincere sense of being with in an open ended way,

Which is also including a quality of allowing and letting it be the way it wants to be without an agenda of it must fix itself because as soon as you get into those agendas of force,

Which can be quite subtle power over it,

You'll get resistance and what will happen is it will just maintain itself and push back.

So it's not a technique.

It's a way of being which honors our truth.

It's actually in line with who we really are and that is that we can move in,

Move from stuckness into flow.

That's how it works and you'll notice that not everyone's stuck because many people know innately how to be with themselves in this way.

So there,

Test the model,

You know,

Is the way you're operating in relationship with others and self more reactive?

Does it perpetuate?

Have you had these patterns for years or decades?

You know,

Many people have.

Has there been any shift into a newness?

And we call it the fresh edge in focusing.

It's a wonderful experience of the fresh edge emerging from the old,

The old patterning,

Which I have to laugh when my dog's eating her dinner and you can hear the crunching,

But the old patterning emerges into its fresh edge.

It's called the felt shift or the fresh edge and it requires us to be with the feeling tones but the fuzzy edges behind the feeling tones.

It's not just about feeling.

The felt sense is an embodied sense of an experience that we learn to sit with and it has nuances and subtleties.

It's a fine weave.

Just like a Persian carpet with a fine design and a fine weave.

We learn to sit with the whole of it and see what wants to come from it and invariably it starts to shift and move.

Or we indeed,

We notice it's never actually fixed.

So this is coming into relationship and we would call this presence,

Coming into presence,

Allowing us to come into active relationship in this more empathic,

Kindly way.

So the qualities invited here are compassion,

Kindness,

Care.

Although you may not feel like that,

That's fine.

The compassion and the kindness in fact is more attitudinal.

It's the fact that you are bothering to stop and be with yourself.

That's the compassion that you are giving whatever's inside of you space to show itself fully.

That's kind.

Yeah?

So kindness and compassion aren't feelings.

They're more interactive,

Relational qualities in our beingness that we can invite forward.

So next time we get triggered more obviously,

We can learn to do this.

We can learn to pause.

Pause and just sense your feet on the ground and sense sitting on the settee.

Thanks guy.

I really appreciate that drinking of water.

So just sensing the body,

Taking time to hear the sounds around you,

Sense the space around you and there'll be something alive in you there,

Something pleasant or not pleasant and then you put your hand on it and you say,

Oh,

It's like that inside.

Now this causality has got nothing to do with those that triggered it.

It is indeed stuff we've inherited from the past and now for the first time it's being fully met.

It's going to respond and want you to be with it because that's why feelings exist.

They want relationship.

They don't want to be coerced and they don't want to be rationalised that something in the outside world has caused it.

It knows its own value by presenting itself and in a funny way it's got nothing to do with the story.

It has its own wisdom and intelligence.

We call it at a deeper level intuition.

And as we learn to be with this part with us,

Inside of us,

We can also be with others in this way.

We can give them space and time and we can pause with them and not try to fix them or tell them they're wrong or bad or tell them they should see a psychiatrist.

We just say,

Oh,

It's like that in there for you.

Let's just give it some space,

Right?

There's something in you.

There's something in them.

Let's just give it some space in a kindly way.

You will find your relationship with them improves.

You'll get closer,

More connected.

They'll trust you more.

So we move away from fixing,

Educating,

Telling them they're wrong or right.

All this stuff is just going to basically disconnect them from their inner relationship.

So it drives them more into the head where the whole process just becomes very circular and endless.

And on that note,

The thinking mind will always look for whys,

Always look for confessions and you should be sorry and things like that or I should be sorry.

You know,

It's always based on blame and judging,

Labelling,

Analysing,

Criticising.

It's kind of endless actually.

But this approach coming into presence is the fresh edge of life.

It really is where the illumination and the forward movement comes and a new life is born in this way.

We start to feel ourselves lighter,

More responsive,

Happier,

More forgiving,

More forgiving of ourselves and parts of ourselves,

You know,

And definitely more compassionate,

Not so judgemental but we realise there's a lot of complexity going on that the thinking mind will never understand that actually the embodied self-impresence really gets.

We're highly complex.

There's no simplistic kind of cerebral linguistic answer or approach.

It's all about deep and inner relationship and relationship with others based on empathy.

And once we do connect with the core of our hearts,

We can actually express that more fully.

Yeah,

Something in me feels really sad right now.

We can say to our friend,

You know,

Rather than talking about the story and the history which is all fairly prefabricated and it believes it of course but the thing with memory is highly,

Highly kind of generalised,

Distorted and deleted and through time it becomes even more distorted and deleted.

And when we ask people,

Do you remember when,

They'll have a different memory.

It'll be just different.

So we'll never find any refuge in that.

In fact we'll find more frustration,

More anger because no one will seemingly understand us at that level.

And in a way they're right.

You can't be understood.

The thinking mind cannot be understood at that level.

It's just too divorced from reality.

So here's the vision.

Self-impresence.

Living in this fresh moment.

Living in the flow.

Living in gratitude and appreciation.

Living in connection.

Being available.

Being available to nature,

To the smell of a flower,

To the sound of a bird,

To the waves,

To the sea,

To the smell of the sea.

Living in experience and moving out of our heads.

If you're interested in developing qualities of presence,

Learning to live from the fresh edge,

Learning to come into vitality,

Gratitude and appreciation,

Learning to relate where others can really hear you,

Where you can connect,

Where you can find forward movement with each other and in yourself,

Even with old trauma patterns,

Feeling tones that keep repeating themselves and stories.

I run courses on Jean Gendlin's Focusing which is all about this fresh edge,

Moving and working through stuck places,

Both outer and inner.

And yeah,

Just go to my website www.

Living-presence.

Co.

Uk and go to training and there's a sub-tab Focusing Courses for Healing and Creativity.

You might be interested in them.

Thanks.

Thank you for listening.

Please visit us at living-presence.

Co.

Uk

Reviews

Living in relationship with life! I didn't know what it meant up until now which has shifted the entire paradigm within me. Thanks for sharing your valuable experience and knowledge, it has been of great "use" by me.

Quite a remarkable talk about how we can cause our own suffering by holding on to our impressions of other people's behavior.

I found this guidance to be most helpful and insightful

Really enjoyed your perspective and presentation. 🙏🏼