Don't Argue With Fools - Practices For Working With Insult

Though the experience of being insulted can feel extremely painful, it’s actually a common experience. Yet, if we continue to cling to each and every barb, it can greatly affect the quality of our lives. This talk explores some of the Buddha’s teachings on this subject, and how we can work through these experiences with a sense of kindness and compassion, rather than with bitterness, anger, or hatred. (It includes a 10-minute meditation at the end.)

Transcript

Hello everyone and thank you for joining us.

So I think it might be fair to say that for almost all of us living on this planet right now,

The year 2020 has been incredibly difficult in so many different ways,

Including,

Of course,

This deadly global pandemic that we've all been living through,

Which after eight long months still seems so far from being over.

And of course,

Here in the United States,

We've also just experienced a highly stressful election.

And I would say that tension is still running pretty high.

And we're also,

Of course,

Now headed into the winter months and the holiday season,

Which also tends to be a fairly stressful time for many of us.

And what occurred to me these past few weeks is that what's really ripe for happening right now in the midst of so much stress and uncertainty is to find ourselves maybe on the receiving end of some sort of anger or blame or insult.

In fact,

Because this year has been so uniquely trying,

Many of us have likely already experienced this special gift,

If you will,

Which honestly is often just so much harder for us to deal with when we ourselves are also just trying to get through this time as best as we can.

So at a time when we should really even be more tender with each other,

The added tension sadly often results in people doing the exact opposite of this.

Several weeks ago,

Actually,

I was sitting down at my computer one night to check my emails.

And there was a letter there from a longtime student and friend of mine.

And I remember I was feeling happy to be hearing from her.

But when I clicked on the email,

What I found was a sort of short,

Very concise paragraph that was just painfully packed with judgment and blame and insult.

And it ended with a kind of cold rejection of our continued friendship.

And honestly,

Even today for the life of me,

I still don't quite understand what caused the student to do this.

Her words quite honestly broke my heart.

At the same time,

As a dedicated practitioner of the Buddhist teachings,

What I also recognized when it happened was that this was a gift and that I needed to consciously bow down to it and be grateful for it,

Actually.

Because as I've experienced so many times over the years,

Whenever I can open up to the pain and not run away from it,

Almost inevitably,

It almost always has something to teach me.

And so for this talk,

I thought I'd share some of the Buddhist teachings on this subject in hopes that it can help all of us to use this very common experience to not only better understand ourselves,

But also to understand those who have harmed us.

And hopefully to arrive at a place of compassion and healing rather than continuing to fuel a sense of bitterness or revenge or hatred,

All of which,

Of course,

Are antithetical to the whole practice.

As the teachings show us over and over,

We never ever want to let another person's anger or cruelty harden our own hearts.

We don't ever want to respond ourselves with anger or cruelty.

So the practice then becomes a kind of guard in a way for our hearts and that it protects us against other people's cruelty,

Having that kind of power over us.

It's a guard.

Because,

Of course,

Even though we might think that responding in kind will make us feel better somehow,

It never really solves anything,

Does it?

And unfortunately,

Whenever we respond in kind,

What happens is that it only strengthens that same harmful tendency within ourselves.

In fact,

Whenever we choose cruelty over kindness,

It's like we're watering a weed in our own hearts.

And the roots of that harmful behavior just become that much stronger and deeper,

And we end up ruining our own gardens,

If you will.

We end up poisoning our own minds and hearts.

There's actually a great story that I love about a man who goes to rather great lengths to be able to sit in front of this renowned monk in India.

And when he gets there,

He asks the monk,

Tell me,

Master,

What is the secret of eternal happiness?

And the monk says simply,

Don't argue with fools.

The man says,

I disagree.

And the monk replies,

Yes,

You are right.

I love that one.

So there's another one of those Buddhist phrases you can put on a sticky note to remind yourself,

Don't argue with fools.

It really can be so helpful sometimes.

More seriously,

Though,

One of the teachings that I find so helpful is the truth that,

Sadly,

Receiving unkindness or even cruelty from others is simply a part of life.

It's an aspect of being human in this world.

So whenever it happens,

Instead of being surprised by it,

Which we so often are,

It can be so helpful to remember that it's not just us.

In fact,

It's usually not even often about us.

It's just inevitability happening again.

Throughout our lives,

People have and will continue,

Sadly,

To be unkind and rude and insulting towards us.

And so instead of resisting it so strongly whenever it happens,

We might instead train ourselves to simply expect it because it's absolutely inescapable.

Unfortunately,

The truth is that even though we might really try,

We truly cannot please everyone.

It's not possible.

And if we think about it,

Our sense of insult sometimes happens almost daily,

Doesn't it?

If you think about it,

Like just someone cutting us off in traffic can feel like an insult sometimes,

Or maybe someone disagreeing with us about something,

Even something minor might feel insulted.

In the Dhammapada,

The famous collection of phrases from the Buddha,

It is said,

Quote,

Ancient,

Ancient is the saying.

It is not just of today.

They find fault in one sitting silently.

They find fault in one speaking much.

They find fault in one speaking moderately.

No one in this world is not found at fault.

No person can be found who has been,

Is,

Or will be only criticized or only praised.

So often when I can remember those words from the Dhammapada,

It almost immediately reminds me that I am not alone.

I am not alone,

Which I find so helpful because what happens when someone insults us or disrespects us in some way is that we almost instantly feel a kind of separation or aloneness.

Part of the reason for this is that whenever we're blamed or insulted,

We tend to suddenly feel more distant or maybe even strongly averse to whoever did or said something to insult us.

And of course,

This then often leads to a feeling of separateness in general,

Which the Buddha told us,

Of course,

Is the source of our deepest wounding,

Our sense of feeling separate.

And because the sense of separation can be so incredibly painful,

We are urged as part of the Noble Eightfold Path to fiercely practice right speech,

Which is so important,

Actually,

That is the third spoke in the will of the Dharma,

Right speech.

Our words are so powerful and they really do matter.

They can truly cause great joy or great sorrow.

They can cause strong connection or strong separation.

They can heal and they can truly harm.

You might even just think about what happens when you hear a simple string of three words,

Just three words,

The power of I love you or the power of I hate you.

I hate you.

They carry so much weight,

Just three words.

And if we think about it,

It really is amazing how much harm our words can carry.

Sometimes even for a lifetime,

They resonate.

Just for instance,

We probably all remember something someone said to us that we've held onto for years,

Something that maybe still stings or affects us even today.

Maybe it was something a parent or a teacher said when we were little.

And even if we've long forgiven the person or the people who insulted us or harmed us with their words,

Most of us don't really ever forget what was said,

Do we?

It almost always leaves a mark or a stain.

So it almost goes without saying that there are many,

Many different ways in which people can insult us.

It can just be endless,

Really.

But if we continue to hold on to each insult or let each one affect us,

It's going to greatly affect the whole quality of our precious lives on this earth.

It's like that famous line from the poet Rumi who asks us,

If you are irritated by every rub,

How will your mirror be polished?

If you are irritated by every rub,

How will your mirror be polished?

So one of the most important ways that we can practice with insult is by learning how to let go or at least begin to loosen our very strong grip on insult.

And one of the best ways to practice with this is to understand what the Buddha referred to as the pain of the second arrow as it involves the pain of insult.

So in the teachings,

The first arrow is the pain of that unexpected unkindness or when we experience some sort of insult,

Some disapproval or judgment,

Criticism,

Some kind of disrespectful action maybe or maybe even a kind of disrespect or even a disregard.

And this might be something relatively minor,

Like a jarring comment or maybe someone just takes that parking spot that we were really coveting.

Might even be something someone didn't do,

Something you were expecting them to do maybe in a particular way.

Or it might be a bigger thing that really affects us like maybe we get turned down for a job or someone we're in a relation with rejects us or leaves the relationship.

So all of these things that I just described are considered the first arrow,

Which is often described as the ouch,

The initial hurt of the experience.

The second arrow is how we relate to the pain of the first arrow.

And this second arrow actually is on us.

So again,

For the most part,

We don't have a lot of control about that first arrow.

You know,

None of us chooses to be insulted or to be on the receiving end of harmful words.

But what's important to remember is that the second arrow is the one we ourselves actually shoot into ourselves.

As we've all experienced,

We can really choose to increase our own pain and suffering exponentially with this one in really a myriad of ways.

The first and maybe important way that we do this is when we take hold of this insult or disrespect and we kind of own it.

We tend to take the insult extremely personally and basically allow our egos to identify with the insult,

Like we're literally wearing the insult or the disrespect,

Maybe like the scarlet letter A.

It might really feel like we're walking around with it,

Like we can't shake it off,

That identity.

Our grip on it is so strong,

We're really believing in the insult.

For instance,

Very often children who are abused take on an identity of shame.

It's very common.

And they somehow believe that the abuse was their fault and that it is their shame when who it really belongs to,

Of course,

Is the person who abused them.

It's like the children are literally wearing someone else's clothes,

Taking on that identity and believing that it's theirs.

And this can continue on way past childhood into adulthood,

Taking on that identity of shame.

So along with owning it,

Another way that we can increase the pain of the first arrow is by really chewing on it,

Like a dog might chew on a sore in its foot,

Just really gnawing on our story of the hurt or the harm.

And honestly,

Sometimes can't we just do this for years when it's a really big one?

We can also cause ourselves another's harm by retaliating in some way,

You know,

By barking or biting back,

If you will.

Maybe we make some snarky comment or we might torment the insulter with something or in some way try to get them in trouble or we might even do something we think might hurt them.

We also tend to cause both ourselves and others harm by blaming or by making the insulter wrong and really chewing on all the ways that they are truly awful,

Evil incarnate.

We can also fan the flames of the hurt by pouring more and more fuel on it,

By keeping it going,

Adding more and more sticks to that fire.

For instance,

We might start dragging other people into this drama by talking about it over and over,

Maybe with our partner,

Calling friends and relatives or maybe telling everyone in town that we can think about this insult or disrespect.

Or we might continue to amp up the drama with the person who insulted us to keep the back and forth going and going because we really want to win or have them understand us.

Somehow we think that by winning in this way,

We will remove the pain of the first insult or the hurt.

We won't have to feel it if we fight it.

But of course,

We tend to keep the flames hot by continuing to fuel it,

By keeping the drama going on in our own minds.

So how do we work with that second arrow?

How do we allow ourselves to let go of our strong grip on blame and insult and bring some cooling and healing to our hearts?

To start,

I'd like to share a few stories from the teachings.

The first one is from the Indian spiritual teacher Osho,

Who wrote about a time when the Buddha was said to have been traveling through a village.

And some of the villagers who didn't agree with his teachings came out and started insulting him.

Apparently,

They used all the four-letter Pali words that they knew.

But the Buddha just stood there listening silently,

Very attentively,

Until the crowd had sort of spent itself.

And when they were finished,

He very politely bowed to them and said,

Thank you for coming to me,

But I'm in a hurry.

I have to reach the next village.

People will be waiting for me there.

I cannot devote more time to you today,

But tomorrow coming back,

I will have more time.

You can gather again,

And tomorrow,

If something is left that you wanted to say and have not been able to,

You can say it.

But today,

Please excuse me.

The people couldn't believe their ears.

One of them asked,

Have you not heard us?

We've been abusing you like anything,

And you've not even answered.

And the Buddha replied,

If you wanted an answer,

Then you have come too late.

You should have come 10 years ago.

Then I would have answered you.

But for these 10 years,

I have stopped being manipulated by others.

I am no longer a slave.

I am my own master.

I act according to myself,

Not according to anyone else.

I act according to my inner need.

You cannot force me to do anything.

It's perfectly good.

You wanted to abuse me,

And you abused me.

Feel fulfilled.

You have done your work perfectly well.

But as far as I am concerned,

I don't take your insults.

And unless I take them,

They are meaningless.

They are meaningless.

When Osho said about this story,

When someone insults you,

You have to become a receiver.

You have to accept what they say.

Only then can you react.

But if you don't accept,

If you simply remain detached,

If you keep the distance,

If you remain cool,

What can they do?

The Buddha himself,

When asked about how to deal with being insulted,

Replied this way.

He said,

Somebody can throw a burning torch into the river.

It will remain a light until it reaches the river.

The moment it falls into the river,

All fire is gone.

The river cools it.

I have become a river.

You throw abuses at me.

They are fire when you throw them.

But the moment they reach me in my coolness,

Their fire is lost.

They no longer hurt.

You throw thorns.

Falling in my silence,

They become flowers.

I act out of my own intrinsic nature.

So I just love that story from Osho.

But I'd also like to offer you a similar one from the suttas,

Because I can't responsibly talk about how to work with insult without offering what is really considered the main sutta on this topic.

It's called the okosa,

Or insult sutta,

And it's also sometimes simply known as the abusing the Buddha sutta.

And as the story goes,

There was a high priest in the Hindu class,

A Brahmin,

Who had become incensed because the head of his clan,

Who happened to be as old as a brother,

Had become a Buddhist monk shortly after visiting the Buddha.

And this Brahmin didn't think the Buddha should have made his brother a monk.

So this Brahmin paid the Buddha a visit,

Mainly to abuse and insult him.

And here I'd like to read you part of the actual sutta.

It says,

Angered and displeased,

The Brahmin went to the Blessed One and on arrival insulted and cursed him with rude harsh words.

When this was said,

The Blessed One said to him,

What do you think Brahmin?

Do friends and colleagues,

Relatives and kinsmen come to you as guests?

Yes,

Master Gautama,

Sometimes friends and colleagues,

Relatives and kinsmen come to me as guests.

And do you serve them with staple and non-staple foods and delicacies,

The Buddha asked?

Yes,

Sometimes I serve them with staple and non-staple foods and delicacies.

And if they don't accept them,

The Buddha said,

To whom do these foods belong?

If they don't accept them,

Master Gautama,

Those foods are all mine.

And so the Buddha said,

In the same way Brahmin,

That with which you have insulted me,

Who is not insulting,

That with which you have taunted me,

Who is not taunting,

That with which you have berated me,

Who is not berating,

That I don't accept from you.

It is all yours Brahmin.

It is all yours.

Whoever returns insult to one who is insulting,

Returns taunts to one who is taunting,

Returns a berating to one who is berating,

Is said to be eating together,

Sharing company with that person.

But I am neither eating together nor sharing your company Brahmin.

It is all yours.

It is all yours.

The Buddha went on to say,

You make things worse when you flare up at someone who is angry.

Whoever doesn't flare up at someone who is angry wins a battle hard to win.

You live for the good of both,

Your own and the others.

When knowing the others provoked,

You mindfully grow calm.

When you work for the cure of both,

Your own and the others,

Those who think you a fool know nothing of the Dharma.

Those who think you a fool know nothing of the Dharma.

As an aside to the story,

Apparently after this teaching,

The Brahmin,

Like his brother,

Also decided to become a follower of the Buddha and he eventually became a monk.

The special name he received as a monk was a kosa,

Which means the insultor.

In the Buddhist tradition,

Anger is associated with the hell realm,

Which is a state or place of intense pain and claustrophobia.

You might notice that whenever someone does something to insult you and you feel strong anger,

It really does have this quality of claustrophobia,

Like you're being squeezed into a tight space,

Boxed in.

It might feel like it's hard to breathe or it might be a sense of panic.

Everything might feel really tight and constricted.

Or it's like you just want to bust out of your own skin and be incredibly uncomfortable.

What we want to do immediately is to get out,

Of course.

We might scream or throw something or send that angry email as a way to do this,

To relieve that strong sense of being squeezed.

But what the teachings are asking us to do at this very moment is to restrain ourselves to actually pause.

This pause might involve maybe physically leaving the room with someone or deciding to take a few breaths or even a few minutes of pause or longer.

If we're in a heated argument,

We might even ask for a collective pause.

Many ways we can pause.

This process is often called the sacred pause.

Mindfully knowing when it's necessary can help us in many ways.

The first way it can help us is that it calms,

It can calm the strong sensations of anger or the squeeze that we're experiencing by sort of allowing the physical sensations to flow through us without acting on them or adding fuel to them.

We pause in that.

For instance,

We might allow the heat of it to be felt,

The pounding of our hearts,

The clenching of our jaws and our hands.

We can use our breath to connect to the present moment and just calm the body just a bit by allowing it.

Calming the body can then help us to,

Of course,

Calm and cool the mind so that we can see things a little more clearly without all that fire,

All that heat and steam that's clouding the mind.

And this is what can help to restrain us so that we don't say or do something that we might really regret later or maybe say something that will leave one of those permanent stains.

It's like one of the rules for myself is do not hit the send button when your heart is still racing.

My heart is still racing.

Do not push send.

In the teachings,

Patience is actually one of the main antidotes to anger.

So being mindful about taking this pause is actually incredibly important.

And so often,

Whenever I feel I've been insulted,

My practice really starts with patience and restraint,

Not biting the hook,

Not reacting,

Defending,

Explaining,

And maybe most especially not crafting that email with a little barb attached to it.

And to be very honest,

Sometimes this takes a while.

Sometimes it takes several heart-pounding self-righteous attempts at crafting a defensive or explanatory email before I recognize what I'm doing and give up on it.

I restrain myself.

As another confession of sorts,

A few times over the years when the insult I've received has felt particularly harsh and that pressure has felt really high,

I have impulsively sent that email and I have always,

Always regretted doing so,

Always.

In fact,

The truth is sending back an email always feels somehow worse than receiving the first one,

Not only because I know that I've done harm in some way,

But because I feel I've somehow failed myself in my own intention to be kind.

Happily,

Though,

Most of the time when I do manage to pause and sort of slowly take my fingers off the keyboard,

If you will,

The very next thing I know to do from the teachings is to go directly to my heart.

And very often I literally place a hand on my heart,

Close my eyes,

Offer myself meta,

Friendship,

Compassion,

Karuna,

And allow myself to just feel the sting and the ouch of that first arrow.

Ouch,

I'm bleeding.

And this part is so important because we don't ever want to use the practice of patience or restraint to somehow ignore,

Cover over,

Or suppress the fact that what was said or done hurt us,

That we're human.

We don't want to ignore or pretend that someone has just shot an arrow into our hearts and we're standing there bleeding.

What we're practicing is more along the lines of those famous three words from the Zen tradition,

Which is this is it.

This is the situation.

This is what was just done or said,

Which is always and forever followed by two more words,

Which is now what?

Now what?

What is the wisest,

Most compassionate response to this,

Which often actually includes no response at all?

And just as a quick review,

Many of you may know of the acronym STOP,

S-T-O-P for practice,

Which can be so useful whenever someone insults us in some way.

So the S,

As you might imagine,

Is for stop.

We literally stop all activity so that we can pay attention to our mind and heart.

We can stop and notice,

For instance,

That we're bleeding.

I mean,

What that feels like.

The T is for take a breath,

Which is the place where we can really start to offer ourselves our own compassion,

Maybe even by placing a hand on our hearts,

Calming ourselves with our breathing.

It's like when you're small,

Like going to your mother for a hug.

That hurt.

Let me hold you.

The O in stop is the hard part because it stands for open,

Which means open to the ouch,

Which can be incredibly difficult and uncomfortable,

But it is exactly what our anger is trying to prevent.

So we really want to allow this.

We want to allow the painful emotion to be felt and acknowledged.

So it's a continued holding,

The O.

And then the P is where we have a choice.

It's our action.

This is where we get to decide whether to park or to proceed.

And if we proceed,

We get to choose how to proceed or respond rather than react.

We now have that choice.

Once we've used the stop practice,

We can then remember the teachings from the Akhosa Sutra,

Which is to remember that what the person has offered is not ours.

We don't need to take it so personally.

We don't need to own it or to decide to eat those staple and non-staple foods and delicacies that were offered.

And like the Buddha said,

We don't need to agree to have supper with that person either.

I am neither eating together nor sharing your company.

It is all yours.

I also like to imagine that we don't need to pick up or put on whatever outfit has been laid out for us either.

We can recognize that those clothes,

If you will,

Are theirs.

They're not ours.

As another way of not taking it so personally,

We can also remember that most likely this person does and says unkind things not only to us,

But to others as well.

And when we can remember this,

Instead of aversion,

It can actually create a sense of compassion on us for the pain this person must be carrying,

Which makes them act this way,

Something from their own conditioning.

Just recently I came across a quote that stopped me in my tracks when I read it,

But when I went to look it up,

It was attributed to about five different people,

So I'm really not sure who said it.

But I want to offer it to you because it really struck me.

Apparently the author was asked,

Why are you so nice even to people who are rude to you?

And the author replied,

Because I too have been rude to nice people,

And I know that rudeness comes from a place of roaring pain.

Rudeness comes from a place of roaring pain.

I just think that's so true.

I know that I can remember exactly those times in my life over the years when I've said unexpectedly harmful things to nice people,

And it has always,

Always arisen from some source of pain,

From a place of selfishness actually,

Which again comes from a sense of feeling separate,

Which is our deepest wounding.

On the other hand,

Whenever we can restrain ourselves and stop the flow of aggression that is urging us to defend very common,

Or blame,

Or even attack,

And kindly respond instead,

Can actually bring us a kind of joy along with compassion and a sense of connection,

Because we can recognize that we're following the intentions of these teachings and not adding more fuel to the fire.

I often like to recall these famous words again from the Dhammapada,

From the Buddha.

Quote,

He abused me,

Attacked me,

Defeated me,

And robbed me.

For those carrying on like this,

Hatred does not end.

She abused me,

Attacked me,

Defeated me,

And robbed me.

For those not carrying on like this,

Hatred ends.

Hatred never ends through hatred.

By non-hate alone does it end.

This is an ancient truth.

Along these same lines,

Whenever we're able to respond with both wisdom and compassion,

The two main wings of practice,

We're following the teachings of the Akhosa Sutta in another way,

Which is to work the cure of both,

Your own and the others.

And again,

The cure for further aggression and hatred is wisdom and compassion,

Just like water is the cure for fire.

We don't fight fire by pouring more fuel on it.

Finally,

Before I offer you a brief meditation on this,

I wanted to end with one of my favorite quotes for you to contemplate.

Again,

I've never been able to locate the precise author of this,

But I find that the contemplation of it can be so helpful.

It goes like this.

An unhealed person can find an offense in pretty much anything someone does.

A healed person understands that the actions of others has absolutely nothing to do with them.

Each day we get to decide which one will be.

So if it's available and you're ready,

I'd like to invite you into a brief meditation.

You might find a comfortable sitting posture and close the eyes.

You might begin with taking a deep breath in.

Slow breath out.

A couple of rounds of these on your own to connect with the present,

Connect with the body and the heart.

You might even consciously soften the body.

You might sense your sit bones.

Imagine your skeleton.

Imagine all the muscles just melting and softening around the skeleton.

Feel your seat supported by the earth as you let go more and more into the support of the earth.

Still breathing.

You might notice the whole facial area and soften the face.

Might imagine the skin all around the head just loosening and softening.

Forehead smooth.

Eyes.

All the little muscles in the cheeks.

Might let the teeth separate slightly so the jaw can also relax.

Still breathing.

Each exhale,

Letting the body drop down just a little more.

Notice the shoulders and the neck,

Let the shoulders drop their weight.

Let the tummy soften.

Each breath softening a little more,

Letting the mind be very present and clear.

As you're ready,

I'm going to invite you to consider a recent time when someone did or said something that you felt was in some way insulting.

Just think of one thing.

And allow yourself to really sense what it felt like then.

What happened in the mind,

In the body,

In the heart?

Maybe even lean into that a little bit,

See what happened.

Recall what happened.

How did you respond or react in the mind,

Body,

And the heart?

It might also take some time to consider your own pattern for reacting to insult.

You might consider,

Did you own it in some way by either taking it on or defending an identity that came with it?

Did you own it or defend it?

Maybe you spent more time than you'd like to chewing on it or feeling it in some way.

Maybe you reacted with some kind of a blame or retaliation.

No judgment here at all.

Just taking some time to consider how you reacted so that you might gently shine some light on your habitual patterns for reacting to insult.

Just take some time to consider your pattern.

Unless you're ready,

I'd like to invite you now to consider how you might choose to work with this if it happened again.

How might you use the insult as fodder for becoming more patient or kind or compassionate?

How might you use it as a way to work on a cure for both?

And consider how that might feel in the mind,

Heart,

And body if you choose next time to respond in a more patient,

Kind,

And compassionate way.

And finally,

I'm just listening to these words from one of my favorite poets,

Mark Nepo,

Who tells us,

What it really comes down to is the clearness of heart to stop defining who I am by those who have hurt me and to take up the risk to love myself,

To validate my own existence,

Pain and all from the center out.

What it really comes down to is the clearness of heart to stop defining who I am by those who have hurt me and to take up the risk to love myself,

To validate my own existence,

Pain and all from the center out.

Namaste and blessings.

I hope you enjoyed this talk.

These talks are always offered freely so that no one is ever denied access to these teachings and your support really makes a difference.

Dana is an ancient Pali word meaning spontaneous generosity of heart.

If you feel inspired to offer Dana,

You can do so by visiting my website at www.

Mindfulvalley.

Com.

Thank you so much.

Reviews

So helpful in dealing with criticism. Thanks!🙏🕊️💗

Thank you for sharing this insightful meditation. It brought understanding and clarity to a lot of my behaviors. Beautiful advice from the heart of the Buddha. Thank you 🌺🌹🙏

So many stars 🌟
A precious experience. A gentle unfolding of layers that really enhanced lessons I’ve learned recently.
I love that you shared quotes. They were wonderful.
Will definitely revisit this one
Thankyou.

So balanced and brilliantly inspiring.
Thank you Shell.

This was excellent. Thank you!

I really needed to find this today. Reality of wisdom delivered in a clear well spoken voice. Thankyou Shell. 🙏🏼💚🌺

Comforting ☺️🌿

Thank You

Excellent. Thank you very much

Just what I needed. Thank you 🙏

So helpful thank you!

Thank you so much. This has wonderfully hit me to the core. Beautiful quotes, caring insights, helpful tips. Thanks 🙏😊

So glad to see you moving your podcasts over on IT. I’d love for you to do a “retreat” Live sometime on a weekend. I never am able to travel to Virginia to the campus you usually teach, so this would be a great platform! Hint! 😉🙏🏻

Wow, Shell❣️ Many adjectives come to my mind as I consider what I have just heard from you: INSIGHTFUL, WISE, ENLIGHTENING, AFFIRMING, INSPIRING; in a word, POWERFUL❗️
Thank you for this BEAUTIFUL Talk and the Instruction it contains. 🙏🏻💕

Amazing! Thank you for this talk. I really enjoyed the topic and I can relate to it tremendously.