Welcome to day three of finding belonging through self-acceptance.
A challenge here on Insight Timer designed to help you find your place in the world.
Let's jump into today's session.
Hello,
My name is Shannon Algeo and welcome to find belonging through self-acceptance.
A seven day challenge here on Insight Timer that is designed to help you find your place in the world through cultivating a deeper sense of self-acceptance and self-love.
Belonging is lifetime work and it can be very challenging to feel like we belong with others,
That we belong in the group,
When we aren't in the practice of belonging to ourselves.
And so in today's session,
We are talking about and practicing finding belonging by being yourself.
As RuPaul says,
If you don't love yourself,
How in the hell are you going to love somebody else?
So let's begin by exploring what is belonging?
What does it mean?
How do we do it?
How do we know when we've done it?
And I think it's really important to bring into the conversation that we are relational beings.
We are hardwired for connection.
We need each other.
And so obviously we are going to be compelled to belong,
To want to fit in,
To want to be a part of the group,
To want to be loved,
To want to be accepted,
To be seen,
To be appreciated,
To be acknowledged,
To be affirmed and validated.
And not only is that okay,
It is essential.
It is who we are.
But Dr.
Brené Brown clarifies the difference between fitting in and belonging.
She says,
Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted.
Belonging,
On the other hand,
Doesn't require us to change who we are.
It requires us to be who we are.
But here's the thing.
If you grew up in an environment or in relationships where you deprioritized your own needs and you privileged the needs of others,
And you learned that on some level you needed to do this in order to be safe,
In order to be accepted in the family of origin or at the school,
This was a survival or coping mechanism to prioritize other people's needs before you before listening to the truth of your own experience and what you needed on a deep,
Embodied level.
And so I see two aspects to this.
On one hand,
We want to focus on who am I?
The self-knowledge work,
The inner work of knowing self,
Of becoming intimate with who you are and your ever-evolving being.
That's one part of it.
And then the second part is we have to activate a risk.
We have to be courageous.
We have to be bold and put ourselves out there,
Risking that we might not fit in in some groups,
But we can always belong to ourselves.
And we can always trust that we will find belonging with those individuals,
Relationships,
And people who vibrate on our frequency,
Who resonate with who we are,
Who celebrate and affirm what we know to be true about us.
And so ultimately,
There is a huge ripple effect in our lives when we have the courage to be who we are.
We communicate to others with clarity,
With confidence,
And with grace.
This is who I am.
And because of that courage to do that,
We attract people to us who reflect back to us our light,
Our brilliance,
Our gifts,
Our strengths,
And who may even give us great feedback about,
You know,
Our weaknesses or our opportunities as well,
Of course.
But they'll do it in a way that honors our humanity and respects that we belong.
So it's so important to listen to yourself,
To come to know yourself,
To be in an ongoing daily practice of attuning to who is this being that is embodied in your physical body?
Who is this soul?
Who have you been?
What needs to be let go of in the past?
What is coming up for you right now?
What emotions need to be honored and seen and witnessed and validated?
And what are your dreams and your visions?
Who is this being inside of you becoming?
So the work of belonging again is a practice because we return again and again home to the truth of who we are and we check in with who we're becoming.
It's not a fixed end achievable moment where we check it off and we suddenly belong.
It is a practice of deep listening and deep courage.
And I thank you for joining me in this practice today and trusting me to be a guide as we explore.
And so now we're going to move into a practice of embodied belonging,
Of exploring this question,
Who am I?
So let's begin by tuning the awareness inward.
Maybe you want to prepare yourself to find a comfortable seat.
Maybe you would like to lie down.
Maybe you would like to lie down for this practice.
Maybe you're on a walk and you want to take in the environment as you listen.
But wherever you are,
Consider bringing your attention into an internal space.
So that might mean closing your eyes.
And let's begin by placing one hand onto the chest and one hand onto the belly.
And when we place our hands on our own bodies,
We activate the release of oxytocin,
The love and bonding chemical.
And so as you place one hand onto your chest above the heart,
One hand onto the belly,
Begin to just notice the texture,
The quality of the hands resting on the body.
Place the hands in an intentional way onto the body.
And if it's accessible for you,
You can close your eyes now.
Again,
Tuning the awareness inward to the inner landscape,
Feeling the texture of the hands resting on the body.
And as you inhale,
Feeling the chest and the belly rising upward and outward into the hands.
As you exhale,
Feeling the hands just very gently softening and melting into the body.
Notice if you can lengthen the inhales as the breath comes in,
And make the exhales even longer than the inhales as the breath goes out.
Beginning to cultivate this internal environment of belonging to yourself just by being here with yourself,
Sitting here in this space,
Moving,
Lying here in this space.
Just notice,
Notice this internal environment of arriving with yourself,
Noticing the inhale,
Chest and belly expand,
Noticing the exhale,
And perhaps inviting yourself to release anything that is not of this moment.
Letting go of any moment that came before this one,
Your past,
Your history.
Letting go of any moment that is yet to come ahead of this moment,
The future,
Any outcomes,
Goals,
To-dos.
And as you connect to the cycle of breath,
The inhale and the exhale,
Notice if you can amplify your awareness of your presence in this moment now.
Inhaling an expansion of breath,
Exhaling a release of the breath.
And notice if you can tune into the sensation of belonging.
What is the embodied experience of belonging with yourself?
The feeling a part of something greater,
A feeling affirmed,
Validated,
Seen,
Part of the whole.
Notice what physical sensations you notice when you feel into the frequency of belonging.
Where do you feel it in your body?
Is it warm?
Is it cool?
Notice the texture,
The shape.
Noticing what emotions emerge when you allow for an amplification of feeling into the experience of belonging.
What is the experience of the emotional body,
The heart?
Can you feel that emotion a little bit more?
The emotion arising right now when you feel into the experience of belonging.
And just gently noticing that sensation,
Physical sensation,
The emotion,
And then allowing whatever emerges to bubble up.
Go with what comes first.
Noticing any image.
What image arises when you imagine into this feeling,
Into this sensation of belonging?
What image goes along with this emotion and this sensation?
Noticing any details,
Colors,
Individuals who are present.
Allowing yourself to be present for a moment with this image of belonging.
And then bringing the awareness to the thought.
What thought pairs with this sensation,
This emotion,
This image?
What is your thought about yourself?
It could be as simple as,
I belong.
I do belong.
Notice if you can hold sensation,
Emotion,
Image,
And thought together as an amplified experience.
And for a few moments,
Allow yourself to be in this experience of belonging.
Notice if you can feel it even more,
Sense it even more,
See it even more.
I do belong.
I do belong.
I belong.
Good,
And begin just to wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes.
Maybe you want to make some circles in your spine.
Come back to the breath.
Welcome yourself back into the space,
To your space.
If your eyes were closed,
Take something in in the environment.
Notice what you see.
If it feels comfortable for you,
You can bring your hands together to a prayer position at the heart to seal this practice.
Honoring yourself,
Acknowledging yourself,
Seeing yourself.
You are the one who will journey with you through this entire life.
The most important person to see you is you,
And we always have the opportunity to practice belonging to and with ourselves.
Taking a deep inhale into the whole body,
Exhaling,
Letting it all go,
Bowing the head towards the heart,
Lifting the heart towards the head,
Honoring yourself for showing up for this practice.
Thank you,
Thank you for joining me for this session.
Again,
My name is Shannon Algeo,
And I just want to invite you to notice how you're feeling as you're coming out of this practice.
What came up for you?
Was it challenging?
Was it easy?
Does it feel nice?
Does it feel difficult?
And I also just want to normalize if the sensation,
Emotion,
Image,
And thought that came up for you was not necessarily feeling belonging,
Or maybe another image or memory came up for you,
That's totally normal,
And that's a part of the process.
That's good information.
Maybe something to journal about,
Or if you have a therapist or a coach or a good friend or confidant,
This can be something to continue to explore.
You're in a process.
And you can continue to build this into your daily routine by just noticing where are you feeling like you're not belonging?
What does that feeling of not belonging register like in your body?
How do you know?
Where and when do you feel like you belong?
Who are you with?
What are you doing?
What is that embodied experience?
So increasing your awareness of what's going on internally and externally when you are struggling to belong or feeling like you belong.
And also,
I just would love to say if you have anything you would like to share with the community or with me,
I would love for you to share in the discussion forum what your experience was of this session,
And I look forward to reading your comments.
Okay,
Thanks again.
