Welcome to Interbeing,
A guided practice for connection and understanding.
Zen master and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh coined the word interbeing to describe our basic interconnectedness and interdependence as living beings.
His invitation to see a cloud floating in a sheet of paper is not only poetic but also reveals this fundamental aspect of reality.
Two seemingly unrelated things,
Cloud and paper,
Remind us that all things in this universe are interconnected through a chain of relationships between people,
Systems,
And nature.
These interconnections seem obvious but they can elude us when we're in the middle of a difficult conversation or a challenging situation that divides us people into us versus them.
In those moments,
We're focusing on a slice of reality that's distinct from the whole.
However,
When we view situations through a lens of interbeing,
We can see that our needs are not competing with those of others,
They're interdependent.
This practice invites us to explore this interconnectedness,
Especially when facing challenging conversations or polarizing situations.
By recognizing our needs and those of others,
We can foster greater understanding.
This compassionate awareness can empower us to work together in new and creative ways that benefit all involved.
So let's begin by coming to a comfortable sitting posture.
That allows you to be alert and relaxed.
Gently closing your eyes or simply softening your gaze.
Resting your awareness on the breath moving in and out of your body.
Naturally,
Effortlessly.
Inviting your mind to be here with your breath and body.
Feeling the spaciousness in your chest with each inhale.
And with each exhale,
Allowing the body to feel a little more grounded,
A little more present.
Now picture a vast open sky filled with white fluffy clouds.
See these clouds gathering to become larger and darker,
Heavy with life-giving rain.
Feel the cool drops falling,
Sinking deep into the earth,
Below.
Sense the trees drinking deeply,
Their roots reaching deep down into the earth,
And the branches lifting towards the sky.
These trees well nourished by the rainwater,
By this earth,
Offering their fibers to be transformed into the very paper we use in our everyday lives.
Just as this rain nourishes the earth and the earth nourishes the trees,
So too are we nourished by this web of life around us.
Each breath we take connects us to the trees,
The rain,
The earth,
And all living beings.
Taking a few moments to connect with this sense of awe and wonder in whatever way feels most authentic to you,
To sense this interconnectedness with this web of life and all beings.
In this spirit of inter-being,
Bring to mind now someone you are or will be interacting with at home,
Work,
Or in your community for whom you want to feel compassion.
This could be someone you want to connect with more deeply,
Or someone you're having a conflict with.
Once you have the person and this interaction in mind,
Returning to your present moment experience of the breath moving in and out of your body.
If your mind feels specially active today,
Placing one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly as you feel the rising and falling of your body under the gentle touch of your hands.
Every time your mind wanders away,
Which it will,
Bringing it back with kindness to this natural,
Effortless breath moving in and out of your body.
Once your mind is stabilized,
Listening within to your needs in this interaction.
Quietly asking yourself this,
What are my needs in this interaction?
Staying here with kindness without forcing an answer.
Listening within with patience.
What would you like to get from this interaction?
What are your needs?
What are your intentions?
What would you like to see happen?
Don't go with the first response.
Wait.
Listen.
Noticing any kind of rushing judgments or fears about what you may discover.
Making space for it all.
Allowing yourself to see,
To feel whatever is your experience,
Your thoughts.
Continuing to listen within to your needs,
Your aspirations for this situation,
For this interaction.
Feel free to pause this recording and journal,
Or if you need a little more time.
And once you feel ready,
Once you feel that your needs have been acknowledged,
Quietly asking yourself the following,
What are the other person's needs?
Again,
No need to search for answers,
Just making room in your mind and your heart to listen within.
What is coming up for you as you make room for the other person's perspectives,
Their lived experiences?
What might be going on for the other person?
And what are their needs,
Given their lives,
Their intentions?
If possible,
Seeing that person,
The whole person,
Beyond the situation,
The ways in which they too care about the things that you care about,
The way that they too have suffered,
Just like you have in your life.
So seeing our shared humanity as you listen within to connect with this other person's needs.
Even as you sense self-doubt,
Whether you can possibly know what this other person needs,
Just trusting yourself to know what you need to know.
All we're doing is making room with the intentions to see this other person,
To see their needs as well.
When you find yourself overly distracted or getting into a thinking mode,
Returning to your breath as an anchor to your natural place of connection with your body,
Yourself,
And others.
And from this place of connection,
Opening your mind to seeing,
To listening,
To what are the other person's needs.
Staying here as long as you need,
Or again,
If you like,
You can pause this recording to do some journaling,
Freestyle journaling of what's coming up for you,
Noticing and writing your observations.
Even the subtlest of shifts in your perspective can have a big impact on how you show up,
Which will then impact how the other person responds.
Based on your reflection today,
How might you show up for yourself and the other person?
Take some time to create an intention for showing up with understanding and kindness.
And before you begin your interaction with that person,
Remembering to return to your contemplation of interbeing,
Your intentions,
And trusting your natural goodness.
May this practice help us navigate challenging interactions with grace,
Compassion,
And wisdom.
May our practice together benefit us and all beings.
