Whole Minded - Returning To Undivided Presence

Sometimes, we need to use a different word to let Grace in. In this meditation, I explore 'presence' as another name for Self, Oneness, and Reality—so we can deepen our somatic experience of the undivided now. Whether you're seeking peace, clarity, healing, or a sense of belonging, this inquiry invites you to rediscover Wholeness - not as something to achieve, but as something that we already are.

Even pain becomes a doorway back into inclusion when we realize what holds it is inherently complete and loving. I don't want to add more words to our conceptual understandings, but challenge the assumptions we often make on this path, which can become what limits us from a deeper homecoming.

Much love and gratitude for listening today. Sez

Transcript

Beloved,

There is a longing within us that runs deeper than any other.

Though we may seek freedom from suffering,

A sense of belonging,

Greater self-love,

Or inner equanimity,

These are in truth just different names for the one core desire we all share,

Which is to be undivided from our present experience.

And this is not something we realize until perhaps we've traveled a fair distance along the spiritual path,

When it dawns on us that our discipline,

Our control and effort is not actually getting us any closer to our desired feeling of completion.

But this is because we believe wholeness is an achievement,

And not something we must gently and persistently return to.

Once something is placed outside of us,

Its lack becomes self-evident.

Life then becomes an endless struggle toward the banks of an iced river,

Where we feverishly stand forlorn,

Feet frantically going nowhere but here.

If what we desire most is not here,

Then nothing we do can bring it closer,

Because we never encounter a future outside of this present moment.

In our interior lives,

Time doesn't move us towards what we long for through its breadth,

But rather reveals it through its depth.

Even the smallest glimpse of ease in this moment is enough to show that we don't need to go anywhere at all to find it.

It's like discovering a clump of gold embedded in the dirt.

We don't need to search for a polished piece elsewhere,

But simply stay with what we've found,

And gently uncover it.

Our work then becomes the steady and sincere practice of peeling away the illusions around this moment,

So we can see more clearly into its luminous intelligence,

Its quiet wisdom.

The divided mind,

The one that leapfrogs from past to future,

Bypassing the present,

Is a primary source of our suffering.

When life becomes uncomfortable,

We try to extract the me from our experience,

As if we could somehow stand apart from what is,

But this is inherently futile,

Because we are only ever here.

That attempt to escape becomes an act of refusal,

And this very turning away deepens our discontent.

Feeling separate from who we want to be,

What we long to have,

The emotions we wish to feel,

And the people we yearn to connect with,

Is a profoundly fragmenting experience,

One that can quietly shape the way we live.

But until we discover,

Through direct experience,

That we are never truly separate from anything,

Cannot know what it means to live as wholeness.

At its essence,

The spiritual path is about dissolving the gap between who we are and the present moment,

Between the sense of me and this one eternal now.

Until we come to see that our very being and presence are not two,

The experience of separation and with it suffering will persist.

We are not an object,

A me contained inside our heads,

Moving across time.

This moment,

Right here and now,

Does not end at the edge of our skin,

It moves through us,

Breathing through every porous cell of our being.

Presence,

Awareness,

Reality,

Oneness,

Self,

These are all names for the gentle,

Unchanging gravity that draws us inward,

Dissolving the illusion of separation and merging all dualities into its indivisible wholeness.

Understandably,

This isn't how we typically experience life.

We often think of presence as something we slip in and out of,

Something to schedule or cultivate,

As if it's a tool to help us feel calm or safe.

But in truth,

When we return to presence,

We're simply returning to our natural ground of being,

Which is already calm,

Already safe.

It's much like our sun.

The sun doesn't actually move across the sky,

Yet we live as though it does,

Tracing its arc through the day.

If we remembered that it's the earth that turns,

Not the sun,

We might hold the sun in deeper reverence,

For its unwavering light,

Its consistency,

And the quiet goodness it offers,

Without ever needing to be chased.

One way to deepen our connection to presence is to imagine that it is the space all around us,

And between all things.

Not an empty space,

But one that is alive and conscious,

Loving and intelligent.

When we see it this way,

We begin to sense that presence is not something we must find,

It's already here,

With us.

And if we remember that we are made of this same space,

That our skin is not in fact a barrier,

But a porous,

Living membrane in relationship with the world,

Then the seeming divide between the space around us and the space within begins to dissolve.

The nature of reality and the nature of who we are are not two things.

This may sound like a beautiful idea,

But no idea matters until it becomes a lived experience,

And we cannot heal through intellectual understanding alone.

So let's set all concepts aside and turn gently towards our own lived experience.

Let us see with quiet curiosity what is here,

Beyond our divisive thoughts about what here means,

And keep returning,

Ever returning,

To our most natural sense of enoughness.

So close your eyes and become present.

Just notice what you do or where you go in order to become present.

Perhaps you bring your attention to the breath,

To the body,

Or to the senses.

That's a beautiful place to begin.

Just take a moment now to feel what is already here,

Just as it is.

Presence,

Like gravity,

Is not something you have.

It's what holds everything.

It is the ground of all experience,

The substance of the eternal.

Let's take a quiet moment to reflect.

Can gravity be divided into pieces?

The gravity pulling down on your arms.

Is it any different from the gravity pulling down on your face?

It's the same invisible force holding everything together.

Now see if you can separate this moment from the next.

This moment right now.

And now this one.

Was there a line that divided the two?

Or does time,

Like gravity,

Move as one continuous flow?

Let's try something else now.

Bring your attention to the sensations in your right hand.

Now also notice the sensations in your left hand.

Can you feel both at once?

Is there a boundary between the awareness of one hand and the other?

Your awareness isn't split.

It holds both sensations at once without effort.

So perhaps,

Like gravity,

Presence cannot be divided.

Even while holding many experiences,

It remains whole.

If presence is already undivided,

Already whole,

What then gives us the feeling of being separate from this grounded eternal moment?

Well,

The only thing that can make us feel separate is a thought.

Thoughts are like the grid an artist lays over a landscape to draw it more precisely.

The grid helps break down the scene into smaller,

Manageable sections,

Keeping the proportions accurate.

In the same way,

Thought divides the wholeness of experience.

By labeling,

Comparing,

Resisting,

Desiring,

Avoiding.

Thoughts themselves are not the problem.

It is the imagined me they constantly revolve around.

One who stands apart and turns life into a problem to solve.

Let's try and locate this sense of separation inside the body.

Gently observe anything that is pulling you away from this moment,

From simply being here.

A tension,

A resistance,

Something solid,

Standing at a distance from what is.

It can become quite subtle.

Sometimes even the witness can feel solid or at a distance from the rest of the mind.

But is that possible?

To separate the witness from what is being witnessed?

Or is there just a seamless inclusion of experience?

Notice if there is anything within you pushing away,

Grasping,

Gathering itself into something seemingly fixed and solid.

Let your attention move closer and closer into it.

Let awareness stand in its center,

Without any distance at all from it.

Sometimes the sense or sensation will intensify.

Sometimes it will dissolve.

All responses are valid.

You are simply absorbing what is here,

Softening into it.

Take a deep breath.

A long exhale.

Connect again with where gravity hugs your body,

Pulls you closer into itself,

Its safety,

Its stability.

Does gravity only hug your skin?

Or does it draw closer even your internal microcells,

Your eyelashes,

Your jawbone?

I invite you now to imagine that presence in whatever you might consider your true nature or highest self to be,

Are not separate,

But the same.

That this present moment you find yourself in,

Is also the eternal moment you are.

Within presence,

There is only inclusion,

Is-ness,

And fluidity.

Just as light expresses itself in many colors,

Without ever ceasing to be one light,

So too does this moment hold all differences within a single,

Undivided whole.

Who you are,

And what is,

Are one.

And even if you don't want what is here,

Because it is painful,

What if that grief,

That dissatisfaction,

That fear,

That doubt,

Were not obstacles to wholeness,

But doorways back into it?

What if instead of resisting what was unwanted,

We let it touch us fully?

Not to suffer more,

But to feel it,

So completely that even pain is no longer separate from presence.

When we allow ache to be part of the whole,

It no longer stands apart,

Becoming a problem to be solved,

Becomes a part of our belonging,

Part of our undivided experience.

Just rest for a moment into the life that you are,

The wisdom that you are,

The inclusive wholeness you are,

That too can be called by another name,

Love.

Just for this moment,

Let yourself be held by gravity,

By presence,

By the eternal,

Fully here with it all.

And when you're ready,

You can open your eyes.

If there is a lingering feeling of doubt or fear,

Just know that it's completely appropriate to feel what you feel right now,

Especially when touching upon deeper truths.

Just remember that presence can't harm you,

Can't take anything away from you,

Can't add anything to your experience,

And that there is simply a hidden belief at play here about what life is,

Or who you are,

And what is possible.

These are vital clues at what might be keeping you separate from life.

Oneness is not a mystical or even spiritual experience,

It's the nature of who we are,

And all we long for is to be who we are.

We think we have to do something in order to feel a certain way,

But it's so much more a surrendering of all that is an effort to keep us apart.

When we realize presence is all there is,

All we truly are,

And all we are desperately seeking for,

Life becomes a devotion to being here,

Quietly responsive to all that is arising.

For me,

I still can't grasp fully what brought me here,

What allowed the healing to begin,

Guided me home.

From the pain of addiction and chronic depersonalization,

Separation was all I had ever known.

It drove me into endless quests,

Each one eventually depleting my will to go on.

I've stood at that chasm,

Deep within,

Staring into the abyss of a mind shattered by over-identification with thought.

And yet,

It was a kind of wild grace,

A sacred surrender,

That revealed another way to be in the world.

I just want you to know that despite our differences,

We share something essential.

The call to stop searching,

And to truly live.

To live this one wild and precious life with our whole hearts,

Feeling everything,

Knowing who and what we are,

And using our bodies as a compass.

I'm deeply grateful to walk beside you today.

I hope these words meet you where you are and offer something meaningful for your journey.

If you feel cold,

You're welcome to join me on my new course,

Wholeness,

Where I spend much of my time responding to community questions.

I'd love to get to know you more and cross the distance between us through the bridge of our words.

Reviews

“Wild grace,” “sacred surrender,” and “indivisible wholeness”…these concepts are changing my thoughts, reactions, and actions. No matter which of Sez’s courses or tracks I listen to, or which of her words I read, I hear the universe speaking to me.

Such rich and powerful words. Thank you for your poetic gifts. Blessings ❤️ 🙏

Dear Sez, I feel beyond blessed to have discovered you, your beautiful meditations and courses. I listen to you each day and am hugely grateful for your wisdom, deep compassion and desire to ease our collective suffering and sense of separation. Thank you ♥️🙏🏻

This was a wonderful experience experience. Sez you have a gift. Thank you for shining your light so bright.

Your voice and words are very comforting and healing for me. Thank you.

This was very powerful and healing. I feel very emotional and hopeful. Thank you 🙏

Loved it so much, I listened again. Everyone should be able to learn something from this meditation. Can't wait for day 2. 🙏🏼💫

As always, I enjoy listening to you. It brings me home. Thank you for you gifts! 💕

Stunningly beautiful words, as always. Thank you Sez🙏🏼💝

🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

🙏🏼💟🙏🏼

A truly beautiful and thought provoking session, thank you Sez 🙏❤️

Interesting take on existence.
It is our awareness of our own existence that causes us to believe we are conscious beings. All creatures have this awareness which is what we with our limited knowledge label the living.
We are not different or superior in this manner, like all else we just are.
Time is only a means of measuring our productivity. It doesn’t truly exist. There could not be an eternal present moment if it did.
Thank you for this thought provoking session.

Always so appreciative of meeting you on the bridge of your words Sez. Being in the present moment as I write this thank you note to you.

Thank you 🙏🏻

Such a wise and masterful explanation / description of presence. This touched me and helped me have a new outlook. 🙏

Thank you for unabashedly sharing yourself, your words and your being to make us all one 💕

Oh Sez, it is an honor to listen to your wisdom. I feel elevated! I always try my best, but distractions weaken my resolve. Your meditations are an antidote that are themselves addictive. I hope to wean myself someday if this addiction and join you in the wholeness in which you dwell so compassionately.

Thank you!

Awesome 😎

I love this one and will bookmark it to return again. Thank you.🙏 ❤️