Creating Kindness, When Self-Love Feels Unfamiliar

Today, we will remind ourselves of the doorway we all have within that leads us to the often mysterious awakening of self-love. Opening our hearts towards ourselves allows us to seek less acceptance & validation from others- and turn that energy into nurturing ourselves into a state of expansive awareness.

This is a guided imagery meditation for those like myself, who find self-love a heavy word in a foreign language. I hope it opens, heals & serves you in some way today.
With Gratitude, Sez.

Transcript

Welcome,

Dear one,

To this podcast series,

Seekless,

Which hopes to inspire more of us to create what we need unconditionally from within,

Rather than to seek it from the transient conditions of the external world.

Today we will remind ourselves of the doorway we all have within that leads us to the often mysterious awakening of self-love.

It is okay that you sometimes feel burdened by all this talk of self-love.

It can seem a heavy word spoken in foreign language sometimes.

How can you love yourself when you have lived in its paradox for so long?

Embrace yourself.

Accept yourself.

Befriend yourself.

Those words sit on the skin without permitting even an inch.

Never mind reaching the bone and making love a home.

Some kind of barrier between you and the sensory connection must be blocked.

Perhaps lack of care from the past has built dams to where love should have been able to flow.

Perhaps that moment of self-destruction irreversibly damaged the delicate valve to where now love can only be expelled and no longer welcomed in.

These days you are being asked to speak to yourself like a dear friend when you tend to converse with your mind through war cry and battle song.

But I ask from the depth of still waters that run from my heart to yours,

When will this rebellion against yourself end?

Who will raise the white flag first and let love conquer?

Although true self-love cannot even be said a thousand times and suddenly become you,

There is a way in and you do not have to try add more love into yourself,

But lean back into that forgiving,

Healing and transformative state of being.

And it matters not the moat,

The drawbridge or the iron gate put up in defense from the dead and gone past.

The most unloved of us are the most deserving of this truth.

Our way back into ourselves is through kindness.

Residing as an often small and unassuming flame in the back of our mind,

The kindle of kindness burns to speak its truth.

It burns to be heard,

To question the validity of what you say to yourself and asks.

Just because you have held this story for a lifetime does not mean it has any weight.

To nurture this flame,

You simply need to listen to it when it speaks.

A kind word to yourself here,

A fanning of the flame.

A forgiving nudge there,

A fanning of the flame.

A pause before reacting,

A fanning of the flame.

A letting go of that deserving thought,

A fanning of the flame.

Braver the flame of kindness grows among the crowded untruths of the mind.

Bolder it rises above the mindlessness of all those old beliefs.

Courageously it takes on those dry words full of hate.

They catch fire like sun-dried kindling.

Kindness may start small and it may not always feel connected with heartfelt belief,

But it flames easily and every incremental counter-thought you have.

Two step closer to that love that nothing else can substitute.

No matter how far you are from that unity between yourself and truly loving yourself,

Know that it is the most worthy of unions.

For in loving yourself,

You become the flame to where no poison,

No doubt,

No hate,

No insecurity can dampen.

When you feel this,

When you really sense this coming together of mind,

Body and spirit through the power of the heart,

There is nothing you cannot achieve.

There is nothing you cannot overcome.

Nothing can ever separate or misguide you again.

In love you are able to forgive those who did not know how to love you,

For their inability to love themselves was never a reflection upon your worthiness of it.

The first step is kindness,

And so is the second,

And perhaps the third.

Until those steps become the path to which you walk daily and love for that dear soul walking becomes as natural as the love you are able to give to others.

Let's come into a stillness now and experience the expansiveness of self-kindness towards both your knowing past and your mysterious future so that you may plant the seed of kindness in the very core of your heart and remember your essential self in this way.

Close your eyes now and sit comfortably.

Remember this feeling of coming back to yourself,

The familiarity of spending just a few minutes with your essence without the external world.

Come into your breath just noticing it,

Where it is in the body.

If it is deep or shallow,

If it is holding any tension.

Notice if you are holding any restrictive energy within you,

Anything that is tightening your muscles,

Lifting shoulders,

Tensing the jaw.

Loosen them through the breath,

Melt your body around the strength of your spine and relax deeper into yourself by using your breath to target any residue of tension in the body.

Take a deep breath now and settle into this moment.

Whatever you have been taught about love in your life,

About your worthiness of it,

Your ability to give and receive it,

Let it all go for just a few minutes.

Become a blank canvas.

Wipe your emotional state clean,

Ready to pick up on anything new that resonates with your inner being.

You are walking in an open field,

Blanketed with the most beautiful wild flowers.

They gently rock back and forth in the light breeze.

Your hand lingers over their delicate petals,

Gliding softly over crimson puppies,

Wild lavender and snowy baby's breath.

The evening sun dips low over the horizon and lightly kisses your face as you smile into its warmth.

You walk without urgency of time,

Without the needs of others.

Simply walking because it feels good and wholesome connects you to the earth below your feet.

A tall tree stands proud upon a small hill,

Its trunk wide holding years and years of knowing spirals within.

Its branches reach out,

Offering ripe fruits,

Nuts and the greenest of leaves.

It's the most beautiful tree you have ever seen,

Abundant with all forms of life.

You are so drawn to this tree,

Your feet carry you towards it,

Without your mind catching up to your body.

It is more beautiful up close than you could ever imagine,

The bark not brown but a lustrous amber,

And the fruit hanging delicately off the branches shine ruby red as if they were precious stones.

Specks of green light reflect off each leaf,

Creating an iridescent glow that halos the entire tree.

As you breathe in this beauty,

You notice two figures walking toward you.

Through the wildflowers they walk steadily and stand in front of you hand in hand.

The small childlike figure is your younger self,

Child of innocence but deep in knowing.

The light in their eyes,

The youthful face and small hands clasp the hands of an older figure,

Your older self.

Their hair is greyed,

Their face creased with furrows and lines that all link together around the eyes.

This face is of experience,

A deeply lived life etched upon skin and bone.

Smiling softly you greet both your past and your future,

Knowing that where you are now is in between.

You turn towards your younger self,

All those words you wish to say,

To help them,

To save them,

To warn them.

Let them be,

For who you are now is who you were meant to be,

Given this life so you could find your gift within it.

In any way you feel most comfortable,

Let your younger self know that they will be okay,

That there is beauty waiting for them and to stay strong.

It might be given by a word,

By a hug or just a hand and show them now.

You now turn towards your older self,

This unfamiliar person who holds so much knowledge about you,

About which choices to make,

About where you should go,

What you should follow,

How you should live.

They too cannot part with their knowing,

But from their warmth,

The kindness in their eyes,

You understand that they know the goodness which is coming your way.

They know the forgiveness that will transform you,

They know the choices you will make and the acceptance that will blossom into your life.

In any way you feel most comfortable,

Let your older self tell you that you will be okay,

That there is beauty waiting for you and to stay strong.

It might be through a word,

A hug or a hand offered.

Allow them to show you now.

The three of you acknowledge the knowing and the mystery that lies within the circle.

Embrace the past so that you may let it go.

Surrender to the future so your best version of life may find you.

Your younger self unfolds their small fingers to reveal a small seed lying in the center of their palm.

Your older self picks up the seed and plants it within your heart.

The seed is now embedded in you.

It is the seed of kindness given from the faultlessness of your younger self and planted by the wisdom of your older self so that you may nurture it with the presence only you hold in the now.

To let this kindness grow you simply need to give it some light,

Some water,

Some air.

To listen to that small voice in your head that opposes the darkness,

That argues in your favor,

That whispers a supportive word.

Become aware of the goodness in you and the seed will grow into an almighty support structure,

Its roots deeply embedded in your heart,

Its branches offering you guidance,

Acceptance and encouragement throughout your life,

And its fruits and leaves offering others the kindness that they are in need of themselves.

Daylight has gone now,

Only a sliver of sun's veil still lingers upon the horizon.

It's time to leave with only your present self.

Your younger and older self support each other down the hill and off into the darkness.

As you walk back into the field,

Your heart burning in warmth and gratitude for its new resident.

Breathe a few last deep breaths.

Really feel your heart in your chest.

You may wish to put a hand over it or locate your pulse by taking two fingers and lying them over your wrist or neck.

Simply sense it within your body,

This heartbeat.

Rock yourself with your breath now.

Back and forth,

Rock yourself with the support of your breath.

And when you feel ready,

You may open your eyes.

When you are able to simply hold yourself for a moment in kindness,

You nurture that part of you that longs to be accepted.

All those parts of you that long to be loved do not actually seek grand gestures of self-love,

But just a holding in kindness.

Kindness is our way into self-love because it has roots that grow deep,

That can survive harsh winters and then blossom again.

You are receptive to life's opportunities when you are in a state of kindness to yourself.

Everything becomes workable in kindness.

And even when you feel yourself a mess,

You can learn to become a compassionate mess.

Ultimately self-love is an unlearning,

But it's not always easy to unlearn a part of you that feels like it has fundamental roots within.

And that's why planting something else,

Something stronger,

More resilient,

That has tap roots that reach into the well of your innermost being,

Is sometimes better and can replace even the oldest of beliefs.

To get back in touch with your kindness is to get back in touch with your own bigger,

Vibrant,

More expansive potential,

Instead of being defined by the limited biases you tend to place upon yourself.

So even for just a moment,

Listen to those few words that push back against self-criticism,

That push back against doubt and shame,

For this is how you begin to remember yourself again.

Thank you for being here and sharing this journey towards seeking less externally and creating more within.

Your thoughts,

Comments and shares are received with sincere gratitude and I hope you feel cold to connect with me in some way.

May you journey onwards in kindness to others and to yourself.

Reviews

A welcoming invitation/reminder of the power of self-loving kindness. Thank you 🙏💜

Soothing healing and nurturing. Words woven into a tapestry as an offering to embody wholeness.✨🙏🏼💜💜✨

Beautiful. Sez’s poems and guided meditations are always so enchanting

Thank you for the imagery of a past, present and future self and the self care and kindness found within that circle. Very helpful 🙏

Sez you really do have the most incredible gift with words and imagery. You also always seem to know what I'm going to do or think or feel. I cried with such relief at one point - small tears but it felt huge. You found a way to help me understand compassion towards myself that feels like it will hold...no other meditation has. Thank you yet again for sharing your gift ❤️

Beautiful, amazing! Your words create a space that I think home should have felt like but seldom did…I am so grateful to have found you, these meditations make a difference in my life!

That was really needed, thank you for your beautiful words and guidance 🙏🏽

Thankyou for leaving me with cathartic tears and seed of compassion. Deeply grateful to the universe for your presence and existence here 🙏🏼🌸✨

Thank you for this beautiful meditation reminding me of the supportive effect of kindness to myself. 😊

I very much enjoyed this meditation and will revisit it as I work to love myself

Very powerful visualisation and words. I found that the way you talked about self-love was empowering and healing - 'a compassionate mess'. I like that. I now know that I can water that seed within me, by simple words and acts of loving kindness. It can grow and that gives me hope. Thank you so much 🙏💜

One of the most spectacular visualizations I’ve experienced on this app. Thank you for this kind and generous offering!

A profound and deeply calming meditation. Thank you so much

I found this beautiful meditation from a comment on your course: surface to soul. I will listen again. I felt the seed being planted. I believe this seed is now beginning to grow toward the sun’s rays. 🦋🌿🌸

I reconnected with the powerful force of kindness today, thank you for your kind guidance Sez 💛

So wonderful, and I keep coming back to this one again and again. Beautiful imagery and a soothing pace. Thank you so very much 💖✨🌹

It was nice but I figured out I need to learn more English, I hardly understood what you said. Even though some parts of the meditation were understandable to me. Thanks I send you so much Metta!

Simply wonderful ❤️💗 so much goodness in this meditation, I particularly enjoyed meeting my younger and older selves. Thank you! 🙏🏼

Tender and gracious. Kindness offered and gratefully received. 🙏💞

Beautiful. I thank you so much. Just perfect. Exactly what I needed. I feel stronger. I❤️‍🩹