A Journey Of Loss & Retrieval - The Essential Self

The loss of Essence can be felt as a deep disconnection between mind and body, often misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression. However our essential Self acts like the metronome that keeps the mind and Heart ticking in synchronicity and health. We tend give up our essence easier than anything else because that’s what our culture values the least, so in order to retrieve it, we need to be quite rebellious! I hope you enjoy this meditation & sincere thanks for spending a moment with you today. Sez

Transcript

Close your eyes,

Dear one.

Come with me to the quiet stretch of pure white sand within that holds the very essence of your being.

Let us reclaim what you seek,

This essential piece of you is key to knowing who you are and why you are here.

Feeling a certain absence in your life is the path back to wholeness,

So never fear to feel all that you are currently feeling that makes you believe that you are misaligned,

Or it is not true.

It's only when that absence becomes a way of living,

A thing to numb,

A familiarity of coping.

That's when we lose our way.

Your losses are lighthouses,

Dear one,

Guiding you home.

I'd like you to imagine a moonlit beach isolated by steep mountains and thick forest.

Palm trees line the secluded cove's edge and they gently dance back and forth with the tide.

You stand at the water's edge,

Allowing the soft foam to pull the sand from beneath your feet.

The warm breeze plays across your body,

Touching your face lightly,

Curling across your neck and shoulders,

Reminding you to disarm your body,

Reminding you to play with life.

Gently soften your chest area,

Unfasten your lungs from your rib cage,

And allow the breath to exhale fully,

Pulling your diaphragm upwards and inwards towards the spine,

Dredging the body fully of that breath before the next inhale.

As you inhale,

Expand the belly outward,

Filling it up,

Taking up space inside of you.

Notice how your body might have to unfurl in order to exhale this way.

Staying with the breath but moving downwards,

Feel that gentle breeze caressing across your hips and thighs,

Your knees,

Calves,

Taking with it any discomfort you might feel.

The lapping waves wash over your ankles and feet,

Receiving any residual disease,

Anxiety,

Struggle from the body,

Cleansing it all away with its salty remedy.

You are in a safe place.

This is a safe place to be.

You are a safe place to dwell.

You are protected by a curtain of fracturing Northern light that guard this refuge from the outside world.

The night sky is vibrantly embroidered with stars.

The moon is consciousness,

Watching over all,

Casting its pearly light upon the landscape.

Anything that enters this space,

Thought,

Emotion,

Dissipates under the healing energy of this moon.

Turn your attention now towards the light emanating from the sand beneath you.

Like small pieces of glass catching the sun,

The beach becomes a glinting roll of sequins,

The hundreds of small shells,

Half buried in the sand.

You walk away from the water now and up towards the middle of the beach,

Passing these intricately and uniquely patterned shells of all shapes and sizes.

You stand still,

Unfolded by the beauty of this scene.

All the shells are different.

There's less than 1% biological difference between you and the next person you see today,

But that small percent makes you,

You.

It is the needle point that weaves you authentically into who you are today.

It is not the habitual,

Conditioned,

Split you,

But the whole you,

The tender you,

The courageous you,

Who boldly embodies that 1% rather than hides from it.

Cast your eyes over the sand and find your shell.

You will know which one it is by the feel of it.

Allow it to call to you rather than tiresomely combing yourself through the whole beach.

You notice small spirals rising from one of the shells before you,

Like incense smoke colored in the cosmic hues of deep violet,

Plum and indigo.

They curl towards you,

Guiding you back to the location of your essential self.

As you approach this shell that is uniquely yours,

It begins to glow with a golden light.

You pick it up and it feels like home.

As you examine it,

Turning it from side to side,

You notice images beginning to form in the iridescent pearly interior.

They are reflections of you,

Lenticular images that change as you move the shell.

They are images of you when you were a child,

A time in your young life when you were truly inside your body,

When you were most free,

When you smiled from the eyes.

It was a time when you were unhemmed from the many tailors that have since worked you into a certain fit.

It was a time when everything was waiting for you,

When the only world that mattered was the one that fitted into the smallness of your palms.

Time was endless.

Because of the intimate attention you spent on the simplest of things,

It was a time when fear was fed with curiosity rather than starved through avoidance.

And love,

Love was not withheld for the worthy but assigned to the inanimate,

To the feather grass and the ladybird,

To the warm hug and the mud cake.

Don't worry if you can't see yourself clearly,

It is the feeling that matters more,

Feeling you may remember from a long time ago of being in communion with life,

Of believing in goodness,

And of having space for wonder inside of you.

This shell,

This essence also holds within it your unique hopes and dreams,

The ones you keep to yourself in fear of what the world might do to them.

Although they have not formed yet into images,

They exist very much as an energy.

May feel like this shell is vulnerable,

It's so soft,

Its brittle form around the edges,

And it may feel too painful to remember who you were or believe that your dreams are possible.

But this is just a part of you that fears having to believe in something new.

These images and feelings flicker through the shell,

Catching the soft moonlight,

Reflecting the mother of pearl luminescence upon your face.

And love floods your body,

Perhaps through that point where you have felt a long residing hole within yourself.

It fills you from a place of disconnect outward,

Uniting all the cells in your body,

Mending the hole.

Now that you are grown,

You have the capacity to hold yourself,

To mother yourself.

The full spectrum and uniqueness of who you are,

You are now able to be yourself,

What you needed when you were most vulnerable.

So split yourself no more for the validation,

For another's nurture,

For the comfort of a culture who praises you for your inauthenticity,

Who celebrates the fracture in order to resell you your wholeness.

Become to this shell,

This essence what was always intended.

Become its conduit,

Its container,

Its expression.

Take the shell so intricately a part of the universe,

Its patterns deeply woven into the cartilage of your own bones.

And care for it,

Use it as a guide.

Place your ear upon it and listen to what you may have forgotten.

For many a lost soul cast their shell unto the tide with an idea that it may belong to someone else,

More deserved,

More brave,

More healed,

And so instead fashion themselves a protective home from discarded beliefs and second-hand fears in order to bear this life.

But you are not here to survive,

The length of your life not a measurement of its quality.

You are here to live as your essence intended,

Integrated and whole.

Your essence longs for you as much as you it,

Like forgotten sea songs that once united lost sailors with their homes.

You must call forth your authentic life back to you.

Look for the spirals,

The cosmic dust,

The thumbprint upon your very hand in order to remember your way home.

Take your shell now and place it inside of your heart.

Move your hands up towards your chest and return your essence to its owner with promise that you will tend to its reintegration even if it takes a lifetime.

It's okay to feel grief for who you had to become.

Many returns and reclamations of this nature come with a sense of both gratitude and of mourning.

But it is the fundamental cycle of life,

Both within the universe and within ourselves.

Allow the shell to become pure light beneath your hands as it moves below the surface of your skin and into the other layer of your being.

Breathe through your palms and into your heart,

Spiraling like an otolith from cell to soul and release your hands when you're ready.

What makes you you among seven billion others lies within you in that needle point of less than one percent that we sometimes spend a lifetime in fear of.

Living that difference is what determines the quality of life,

And it starts not by necessarily knowing exactly who you are and why you're here but by following the small smoke signals of curiosity that usually come from the embers of our fear.

The truth is that your essence has never really left you,

It just got buried in the sand because either somebody wasn't capable of honoring you or at a really difficult point in your life your reptilian mind told you that you had to survive and that survival became a way of living.

It's usually both,

And both can be healed,

Not by changing your beliefs but by returning to them.

You thank the space for holding you,

For showing you yourself,

You thank the very body you inhabit for making this experience possible,

And you begin to walk back to the water again.

The plankton beneath the surface of the tide glows liquid green,

The bioluminescence lighting up where your feet make contact with the water,

Like galaxies across the ocean towards the horizon,

Making it impossible to see what is the reflection of stars and what is the illuminated tide.

The warm wind whispers across your body once more,

Comforting you,

Celebrating you,

And when you feel ready you may open your eyes.

Reviews

Absolutely amazing just what I needed . Thank you Sez . You have such insight .

I found such deep healing and peace through this meditation journey! With gratitude for your guidance, I’ll return often to this soft white sand, to these gentle waves, to settle into that peace.

So beautiful 💖 needed that guidance to connect with my essence once again 🙏🏻 thank you

Remarkable poetic words that helped me see that I must return to my essence.

A beautiful message and visualization. I connected with the most innocent and imaginative inner child 💕

Deeply inspiring, touching and beautiful. Thank you ❤️ 🙏

That was amazing and just what I needed! Thank you for this beautiful meditation❤️🙏🏼

Thank you Sez for such a beautifully spoken, touching and loving meditation. The water so soothing to the soul. And your guidance calming.
So pure, seeing visually my inner child and the timeless eternal knowing of learning our essence ❤️💫✨️🌊

Oh, wow! This was so beautiful and moving. Found me today when I needed it most. Much gratitude. Thank you.🙏

Such beautiful, profound words. I feel like I was meant to hear this meditation today. Thank you so much.

A practice that feels like coming home, within to oneself. 🙏

Powerfully rich and tender meditation filled with beautiful imagery that goes right to the heart. ❤️🙏

That was beautiful! Thank you for your work your heart is generous and compassion for self. Thank you for your gentle and precious meditations.

This was amazing. I shall return to this practice again and again, such a powerful message. Thank you, Sez 🌻

Sez, your work is a gift to humankind. Thank you for helping me to return home.

Gorgeously visual, transporting, profound. Thank you for this beautiful healing journey.

This was ab-shell-utly beautiful 😁 loved this so much, thank you 🙏🏽♥️🌌🐌

Absolutely beautiful. I will return to this meditation again and again ❤️thank you ✨

Sez, within the first few words I felt my essence, saw my true self, burst into a profound soulful releasing cry. There are no words to describe how deeply moving your meditation changed me. A very profound spiritual experience. Thank you for sharing your spiritual gifts.

Great wisdom in your beautiful words. Thank you. I cherish the visuals.