Tom Brady, Angulimala, And Rest

In this talk, Seth talks about the recent Patriots Super Bowl win, his time at MIT, and recounts the Buddhist tale of Angulimala, a serial killer at the time of the Buddha who was eventually converted into the Buddhist Sangha and became an enlightened monk.

Please note: This track was recorded live and may contain background noises.

Transcript

So how is everybody doing tonight?

Super tired.

Super tired.

I feel so tired.

Very good answer.

What else?

Anybody else feel super tired?

Yeah?

I feel like moderately tired and a little,

What was it,

Grumpy?

Cranky?

I'm asking.

What was the word you used?

Grouchy.

Grouchy.

Grouchy.

I'm a little grouchy tonight.

You could talk about it.

No,

I could talk about it.

Yeah,

I had a good day today.

I was down at MIT.

I drove down there.

I do once a month.

There's like a little conference room,

Kind of about,

You know,

A third of the size of this room.

So it would be almost from here over.

And once a month we have this meditation and all the people just kind of pile into this room.

So it's really like people sitting all around the edges of the room and then people sitting around the table.

It's a long conference table.

Really cool.

So it's a really beautiful group.

And I always feel like a lot of devotion in the room.

And it's funny because it's maybe not what you would expect from MIT.

But there's something in the air.

I feel the people there,

They really,

They really,

They're really kind of going for it.

It feels like they really need it and they know they need it and they know this is good for them.

And they're really good,

I guess,

At just putting their mind to task of whatever it is that they're supposed to do it.

So every time I go there,

And again,

Especially today,

It's really this powerful feeling of these people that really,

I almost had the feeling of,

You know,

Like a sponge that was just kind of soaking this up.

Like this feeling that they really needed it,

You know,

As if you have,

I don't know why this is the example I have,

You think of like a dog or something that's been neglected and you go and you start giving it love and it's just so like,

Ah,

It's just like soaking that up,

Right?

It's almost the feeling of,

Right,

Like they're really soaking up this feeling of peace and rest and like not having to think and do stuff and be active and kind of be on.

And then afterwards,

I also really said,

You know,

Please do more of this.

Like you guys really seem to need this.

I'm only here once a month,

So really kind of engage.

And yeah,

And then when I was driving here,

So you know,

I drove back from Boston and I drove here,

And I was really thinking about this group and this class tonight.

The classes I have here in Andover,

They're really special to me.

Maybe it's just because,

Again,

Like this is the room that I sat in detention in,

You know,

I spent four years of my life.

So there's just a certain kind of familiarity with the space and the school,

The smell even,

Some of the paintings out there I remember seeing.

This feels almost like family a little bit.

This feels like this really nice feeling of community.

And it's my community,

Right?

This is where I'm from.

And when I also,

I felt into the class tonight and what I wanted to maybe talk about or bring in.

I mean the only thing that was on my mind,

First of all,

Was like the Patriots winning the World Series.

I was at the parade just watching videos at home of everyone celebrating and hugging and saying,

I love you,

And it was really great.

These big football players were like,

I love you,

Man,

I love you,

You know,

I love you,

You know.

And it was actually really cool because when we were driving down to the parade,

We looked up Tom Brady and we were reading that he doesn't drink alcohol,

Doesn't drink coffee,

No caffeine,

No sugar,

No white flowers.

He,

In the summer,

Is raw.

He eats just raw foods.

And then in the winter he does an 80-20 diet of like 80% vegetables,

20% meat.

And he meditates and he's really,

You know,

Very disciplined and he lives very healthily.

And I just thought about how many times,

You know,

I've talked to people when I was a vegetarian and they'd kind of make fun of me,

You know.

Walk around Boston,

You say you're a vegetarian,

People would just,

You know,

Bust your balls all day long about it.

And then now you could just be like,

Tom Brady's a vegetarian,

You know.

I feel like we just shut up like a million people at once,

Right.

So yeah,

I hope Tom Brady's listening to this,

Decides to really more publicly start going,

Yeah,

Going public about this because I think he could actually really create a big cultural shift if you have somebody like him saying,

Yeah,

I meditate and I eat vegetables,

I do raw diet for half the year,

I don't drink,

I don't smoke.

I feel like it could really shift a lot of people's minds about,

You know,

What this actually does for you.

Living healthily,

Cleaning up your act,

You know,

From the inside out also.

So I thought about,

I could talk about that,

Patriots.

But then when I felt into this room,

I felt into what this was about,

I actually felt,

Oh,

I'm really happy that I can go and rest.

So kind of like what you're saying,

Right.

Yeah,

And again,

Just after a long,

Another long day of,

You know,

Lots of driving,

Talking to a lot of people,

Having a lot of new impulses,

A lot of things happening,

Walking through MIT a little bit and seeing what's going on,

Computer work.

It's really nice just at the end of the day to again kind of come here to this space and just to rest.

You know,

Sometimes I really wish that I could come to a meditation class and we could just do like a silent class,

Like I didn't even have to teach,

Like we just sit.

You know,

Everyone just sits down and closes their eyes and then,

You know,

In an hour and a half I ring the bell and we get up and go home.

I could maybe do that at the last class if you guys want that.

But really this quality of rest,

And I guess that's maybe where I want to bring this tonight a little bit,

Is that it's just so seldom that the mind has a chance to really fully rest,

That we have a chance to rest.

And a lot of people,

You know,

They wake up early,

They have the alarm,

They drink their coffee,

You kind of read the paper or get ready,

If you have kids you kind of get all that stuff organized.

You kind of,

You know,

Whatever,

Fly out the door,

You're ready to go,

You go to work,

You listen to things you're preparing in your head.

Then there's kind of work and all the things that are happening there and in between maybe also little things about your life,

Like I'm going to have to go shopping tonight,

I have to go do this,

I'm going to do that.

And you know,

That's like a whole thing and maybe there's like a little kind of a breaky thing at lunch,

Then again you keep going and then you go home and then again it's right,

They're now preparing for the evening and then there's usually like a TV on somewhere and there's people running around and there's dialogue and then maybe you kind of eke out a little time for personal,

You know,

If you need to do some kind of emails or even eventually if you want to like read or go to the gym or do something for yourself like that.

And then kind of you collapse in bed and you're exhausted and maybe hopefully you've taken a shower somewhere in that mix,

I don't know,

Morning or evening.

And you sleep and then you kind of just pass out in bed and then you have all these dreams and as you wake up you kind of forget the dreams,

Like you're almost waking up and those dreams just kind of fade away into the darkness for whatever reason they do that.

And then you kind of do it again and there's,

You know,

In the average person's life I feel that there's not really many times that they have the ability to kind of just stop,

To really stop.

And there's different levels of stopping.

I'm suddenly reminded of a story from the Buddhist canon that there was,

I'll give you the whole story,

Once upon a time,

Around 2,

500 years ago in India,

There was parents,

Two parents,

They were expecting a child and I remember there was a kind of prediction,

They went to,

You know,

Whether a medium or a psychic or an astrologer,

And they told them,

They said,

Oh,

You know,

Your child really has the potential,

You know,

His star map,

It's kind of,

There's a certain kind of constellation and,

You know,

He could really grow up to be a killer,

A violent guy,

Right,

So kind of what all parents would not want to hear about their child.

So they named the child,

They named him Ahimsa.

And Ahimsa means non-violence.

And this is actually one of Gandhi's tenets,

Right,

So Ahimsa,

So the whole way that they kind of had the revolution in India is Ahimsa was one of the main tenets,

Like we're not going to fight back,

We're not going to be violent.

And so,

You know,

He was a very brilliant,

Very powerful guy,

You know,

He was really good at school and sports,

You know,

Friends and all this,

But he really excelled in school to the point that he started making his classmates jealous.

And his classmates were getting really jealous of the fact that he was really excelling and he was really like a teacher's pet,

So they kind of devised a scheme to uproot him.

They went to the professor and they said,

You know,

He's been cheating,

He's doing this and that,

And they kind of slowly started turning the professor's mind against him,

Until eventually the professor was also certain that,

You know,

He's been a liar and a cheater this whole time,

He felt really cheated and offended.

And so he was really trying hard,

He was,

You know,

About to kind of finish this schooling,

And then the teacher said,

Okay,

So the professor said,

Okay,

For your final test,

Your final exam,

The final thing you have to do,

Is he said,

You have to bring me,

I actually remember the number if it was 100 or 500 or 1000 fingers,

Either pinky fingers or thumbs,

One or the other.

For the sake of the argument,

We'll say pinky fingers,

There's a pinky finger.

And this really put him into a bit of a predicament,

Because of course,

You know,

He'd been putting all this effort,

Really intense guide,

Putting all this effort to school and doing good,

Doing good,

Doing good,

And this is the last thing,

And the professor tells him to do this,

And kind of as a conflict,

But he really needs to,

He wants to have this accomplishment.

So he goes off,

And maybe starts,

You know,

Collecting fingers from people that have passed away,

Goes to charnel grounds and things like this.

But eventually as he's doing this,

Kind of his mind starts to get twisted in his constellation,

Right?

So he was born under a certain star,

The murderer star,

I think it was called,

Started to really come into play,

And he started to really feel like,

Hey,

This isn't quick enough,

I need to do something.

And so he started kind of chasing people down,

And he would,

For a start with maybe the poorer people or the beggars,

People he could easily get to,

And he would go and he would take them and he would chop off a finger and take it.

And he started wearing these fingers around his neck to keep them safe,

To keep them in place,

So it's Anguli Mala.

So if any of you know Buddhism or Hindu,

They have Mala beads,

The prayer beads,

So the string of prayer beads that you see people have,

That's called a Mala.

So actually I have one,

Interestingly enough,

Made of bones,

But,

Right,

So.

So a Mala,

So in Anguli it's fingers,

So it's a Mala made of fingers,

Right?

Maybe it was 108,

I don't know,

Or 1000,

I forget.

So this started getting stronger and stronger,

And his mind really started getting twisted until,

You know,

He's like,

You know,

Kind of wearing these ragged clothes,

And he's hanging out in forests of India,

And as people are passing by he's kind of ambushing parties of people,

And even if they're soldiers and stuff,

It doesn't matter,

He just really takes them down and he chops off their fingers,

And he takes off,

And he's getting more and more powerful,

More and more deranged,

More and more fierce,

And really turning into kind of like an animal,

Like a monster that people are afraid of,

People are becoming afraid of this.

And his finger necklace is growing and growing,

And people are starting to say,

You know,

That there's this monster,

This guy living in the forest,

And don't go out there,

It's dangerous,

You know.

And eventually word's spreading so much and people are so afraid that the king,

He says,

You know,

We have to do something,

So he sends out his army,

He says,

Go take care of this,

Go kill this person,

Causing a disturbance in our kingdom.

And it was at the same time that the Buddha,

He was meditating,

Woke up one morning,

He was meditating,

And as the stories say,

The Buddha had,

He had some psychic powers,

We could kind of see,

He could survey a little bit what was going on around him,

And he saw Ahimsa,

You know,

Getting ready and starting to prepare himself to go out to collect the fingers,

And he was down to almost his last finger,

So he was really getting to the end of this mala,

Completing it.

And the Buddha saw Ahimsa's mother leaving her village,

And she starts walking through the forest.

And the Buddha could see that what was happening,

The conditions were going to build up,

That Ahimsa would probably actually end up killing his own mother,

Not even recognizing her,

Just in this fury.

And he knows that if you were to do something like that with your own mother,

That's just an unforgivable act,

You would just be broken as a person forevermore,

Just,

You couldn't come back from that.

So the Buddha rose from his place,

And he starts also heading off towards Ahimsa,

And as the mother starts approaching,

And Ahimsa sees her in the distance,

And he gets ready to chase her,

Suddenly the Buddha also appears,

And he's kind of closer,

And he's a beggar.

So Ahimsa turns,

And he starts chasing the Buddha,

And the Buddha turns and starts walking away from him.

And Ahimsa's like chasing,

And he's running,

He's running,

And the Buddha's just walking,

But even though the Buddha's just walking,

He still keeps staying a distance ahead of him,

And Ahimsa doesn't understand it.

And he's getting infuriated,

And he's like,

I can chase down a horse,

I can chase down the fastest people,

The fastest animals around.

How is this beggar?

He's walking,

And I can't catch him.

What is going on?

And he's just in this rage,

Chasing and chasing him,

And then he just starts yelling,

Screaming at the Buddha,

Saying,

Stop,

Stop you,

Stop.

And the Buddha,

As he's walking,

He just turns around,

And he said,

First you stop.

And Ahimsa,

Something in that sentence just struck him,

He stopped.

And then the Buddha also stopped,

And he came over to him,

And there was this moment of clarity,

And Ahimsa just saw what he'd been doing,

And just collapsed,

Just broke down,

Crying,

Just couldn't believe what he had become,

Right,

That he was doing this,

That he was chasing this thing,

Right.

And the Buddha just said,

Yeah,

You stop first,

You stop.

And he realized that he didn't mean stop running,

He meant stop.

Stop this grasping,

Stop chasing this thing,

Chasing this thing inside you that's just hurting yourself,

And hurting everybody around you.

I'm sure actually each of us has,

Or has in our life had,

Our own Angulimala in terms of that thing that we were chasing,

Thinking that was the thing,

At the expense of ourselves,

Maybe the people around us,

Right.

So Ahimsa was just,

He didn't know what to do,

And he asks,

Who are you,

What can I do,

And the Buddha allowed him to ordain underneath him,

To become a monk.

And he accepted,

The Buddha said,

It's okay,

I will accept you into the Sangha,

You can be a monk.

So he shaved his head,

They gave him a robe,

And Ahimsa became a monk,

And he took the precepts,

Not to kill,

Not to lie,

Not to steal,

So he really,

On a deep level,

Kind of decided to make this transformation.

And he still carried a lot of his karma with him,

So when he would go walking for alms,

A lot of the people,

They knew that that's the guy that lived in the forest,

So they would throw stones at him and beat him up,

And break his bowl,

And attack him.

And he'd come back from the alms round trying to get his food,

Just kind of bleeding and black eyes,

And he said to the Buddha,

What can I do,

And the Buddha said,

Nothing,

This is your karma,

This is what you've created,

And you have to bear it.

And it was also at this time that the army of the king came,

And the king's army approached,

And they said to the Buddha,

You know,

Hello blessed one,

They said,

Be careful,

Please leave these forests,

There's a killer out here,

We want you to be safe.

And the Buddha said,

Oh really?

And they said,

Yes,

He's been stealing people's fingers,

It's horrible,

You should leave.

And the Buddha said to the king,

Well,

What if I,

Oh I don't know,

Was able to talk to this person,

And make them ordain under me and change their ways,

Would you still take this person in,

Would you still kill him?

And the king said,

No,

If you could do that,

Then please,

You know,

Then you can.

And the Buddha said,

Well,

This monk right here is the very same Angulimala that you seek,

Now he's a monk.

And they were all terrified,

Suddenly like,

Oh my god,

This is the killer,

And they realized it was okay,

And they let it go.

And Angulimala,

He also really went on to be a very loving,

Very compassionate person,

He actually,

In India,

Is also known as the patron saint of birthing,

Because there was a time where there was a woman,

And she was in labor,

And it was really painful,

And she was having trouble giving birth,

And he went over,

And he started assisting her,

And he made a prayer,

And he said,

Since I was born,

I have not hurt a single creature,

By the truth of this,

May this woman be free of pain,

And the baby popped right out.

And she thanked him,

And the monks that were around,

And they said,

What?

And they went to the Buddha,

And they said,

Buddha,

Like he lied,

He said,

Since I was born,

I haven't hurt anything,

And he gave this blessing,

And the baby came out,

But that's not true.

And the Buddha said,

No monks,

It is true,

Since he was born into the Sangha,

Since he took ordination,

Since he was reborn as a monk amongst us,

He hasn't killed a single thing,

And by the power of this truth,

That is the strength of his blessing.

And he also went on to become an enlightened being.

So when we kind of look at our own lives,

And we step back,

And we see this kind of day-to-day that we're going through,

I think a lot of people are on a kind of autopilot,

That we're not necessarily aware of what's kind of turning our gears,

What's pushing us forward,

What is the habitual energy that we're acting in.

I once heard a study that they had five monkeys in a cage with like shock collars and a banana up a rope,

And any time a monkey tried to go up the rope,

They shocked all the monkeys.

So the monkeys then started learning that if one monkey went up the rope,

The other ones would grab them and pull them off the rope because they didn't want to get shocked.

So we'd try to get up,

And they'd pull them down,

And the next one we'd try to get up,

They'd all pull them down.

And then one by one,

They started putting new monkeys in the cage,

Taking out old ones.

And the new monkey's like,

Oh,

A banana,

He'd go up,

And all the monkeys are like,

No,

And they'd pull them down.

And then slowly,

One by one,

They started replacing the monkeys over a little bit of time.

Until there were five brand new monkeys in the cage without shock collars.

And still,

Whenever one of the monkeys tried to climb the rope,

The other ones would grab them and pull them down.

And none of the monkeys in the cage had been shocked,

Yet they still carried over this habitual way of doing things.

That you're not allowed to get that banana,

Because I was pulled down,

So I learned,

If someone goes to get that,

You pull them down.

So they were all still pulling each other down off the rope,

Even though none of them actually knew why.

None of them had any consequences.

Except that that's what their culture had taught them to do.

And from my time in the monastery,

From my eight years practicing there,

And really spending a lot of time alone and in reflection,

And just doing,

I mean,

Imagine eight years,

Right,

A long time.

I started seeing how much of me,

How much of Seth didn't belong to Seth at all.

Wasn't Seth at all.

As I was leaving MIT,

Actually I passed today,

I was going to take a picture of it,

I didn't,

But a lamppost,

And there was a sticker on it.

And the sticker said,

Are You You?

And I kind of just stopped and looked at that and I said,

Wow,

That's really deep.

Are you you?

Because how much of us really is us?

And how much of it was kind of programmed,

Right,

Programmed by our parents,

Programmed by our society,

By our school.

How much of who we are,

Our values,

Our way of doing things,

Our,

You know,

What's right,

What's wrong,

What do I want in life?

How much of that really came from us and how much of that was given to us?

How much of that is that we just see that that's what everyone else is doing,

So we kind of follow along.

We do that too.

Even though it doesn't actually speak to our hearts,

We just say that,

Yeah,

That's how things are done.

And I'd like to think,

You know,

We sitting in a meditation class are maybe even more advanced than,

In a sense,

Than the average person who doesn't even question it even that much,

Right?

So I think you have to at least be a little bit,

A step forward in that reflective process to even decide,

I need to start working on my mind.

I think the average person doesn't even know that they have to look at their minds,

Right?

So,

I mean,

This is definitely a big,

Very deep topic when I go on retreats with people,

So when I lead retreats,

I often lead them through a lot of really deep processes about breaking through their emotional self,

Looking at their beliefs that they hold,

Whether or not they're actually theirs or they serve them or not,

Really do some meditations that clarify their own life purpose,

What they really want,

What they want to do.

And you really see that a lot of people spend their life chasing something that actually they didn't really want,

Unfortunately.

Even if it's something as easy as security,

Which I think everybody wants on some level,

But then security could also become a prison,

Right?

Somebody just told me recently that when you look at human needs,

We have this huge need for security,

And then kind of very closely following that,

We have this need for insecurity,

For new things,

For change,

For freshness,

For new impulses,

Inspiration,

Right?

So it's almost these two things playing on top of each other that we really need to feel secure,

We need to feel safe,

We need to feel like we have everything under control,

Right?

We're not helpless.

And on top of that,

We have this need for something else,

For something new,

Something fresh,

A space to change.

Someone just won the basketball game.

And when we really look into our own lives,

We look into the day-to-day of our own lives,

It's also really important to see why do we do things,

What are we chasing,

Are we really chasing,

Are we moving,

Are we spinning around the thing that actually matters to us that we want,

Or are we just flowing with some old karmic habitual energy that we never even reflected about?

Because ultimately when you've worked through all that stuff,

Finding this place of rest,

It comes quite naturally,

Right?

Because you've worked all,

You've let that stuff go,

So you can really just be,

You're just here,

Right?

I'm going to be moving apartments with my girlfriend,

But in the same building,

So the apartment that we're taking actually looks just about the same as the one that we live in right now.

And I said to her,

I want to be really careful that we're not just going to replant the old apartment into the new one,

That we really look at that new space and decide how do we want to set the space up that it makes sense with our life,

Not carry over this old energy,

But really start from scratch and say,

What do we want?

How do we really want to create this that right now this resonates with where we are,

Right now this resonates with our needs,

With how we want to move forward especially.

And so what I really love about meditation,

Again,

Why for me personally meditation,

One of the reasons it's so transformational is because it gives us this time to stop,

To really stop,

Right?

Like the Buddha said,

Now you stop,

That you really stop and you rest and you'll see the things coming up,

Right?

You'll see those habits,

You'll see that energy,

You'll see those thoughts still coming up,

Rising again and again,

Trying to get your attention,

Trying to get your energy.

I said if you would stir a pot of soup,

Right,

And you pull out the spoon,

That soup keeps spinning,

Right?

So even when you sit down to meditate,

Your mind is still kind of going,

That stuff's still coming up.

But it gives you a new kind of perspective because you're not believing it,

You're not working with it,

You're instead just watching it,

You're witness to it.

And also eventually all that stuff relaxes and you can really just rest and be present and really give yourself a break.

Because ultimately as long as you're in it,

You can never see it.

You guys know what I'm talking about this?

So if you're in something,

You can't see it.

Have you ever gotten into somebody's car or something that smells really bad?

And you're like,

What does that smell?

And they're like,

What smell?

They can't smell it because they've been in it this whole time so they don't actually sense it anymore.

But because you're coming from outside,

You can smell it.

So because you're in something,

You just habituate to it,

You don't even realize it's there anymore.

But when you meditate,

Because it's such a drastic shift on such a deep level,

All that stuff that you're used to,

Whether it's your feelings,

Whether it's your thoughts,

Whether it's just your way of interacting with your mind or reality,

All that stuff kind of comes down and goes to silence and you get this really beautiful peace,

Relaxation.

It's like drinking fresh water for the first time.

And then when you re-engage in life,

You really start to see again.

So what am I doing?

Why am I doing that?

I know how good peace feels.

I know what I want.

I know that I really need this rest,

This relaxation.

So why am I worrying about things?

Why do I jump in the car and turn on the radio?

Why do I stimulate my mind again?

Why do I engage in conversations that I don't need to or just stimulate for the heck of it?

Why do I do things that are actually hurting me and maybe even hurting the people around me?

You start to really get a new vantage point,

A new place of this peace,

This relaxation,

This wellness.

And then slowly when you re-approach life,

You start to see what you actually want to continue with and what you want to let go.

So eventually meditation does lead to the shedding process for you.

Eventually if you practice meditation more regularly,

You will start to transform your life.

Because you'll start to realize the things that you don't want in your life anymore,

That don't feel good.

That feeling of peace,

That becomes your new kind of guide,

Your new compass.

Because you know what that feels like.

You know what happiness and joy and bliss feel like.

And so you start to shift your life that that's kind of the dominant energy.

And all those things that actually are pulling you back,

Holding you down,

Running you around in circles,

All those things just naturally start to fade away.

Because you realize,

I don't want that.

So I know there's that saying,

Right,

Like don't just sit there,

Do something.

Someone's panicked,

Don't just sit there,

Do something.

When I was in Plum Village,

I heard them come up with the other sentence that said,

Don't just do something,

Sit there.

Right?

And I think that's a really poignant way of talking about this.

So maybe the impulse for tonight's class is don't just do something.

Don't do just to do.

Just sit there.

Just really realize that the power and the profound transformational potential of silence,

Of rest.

Only when you've lost everything are you free to have everything.

So maybe with that we'll start our meditation for the night.

So everybody get into a comfortable sitting position.