The Middle Place

In the practice of meditation, we can sometimes fall into the trap of thinking practice is somewhere else and sometime else. We bring grasping and aversion into our practice and never get the results that we are searching for. This is a talk about bringing the practice back to right here.

Transcript

So I'll try my best to give a little bit of a talk.

I've been very like,

Today,

Getting a little sick.

I went for a hike yesterday in the White Mountains,

Actually.

Yeah,

Like five hours out in the snow,

Going up 1,

700 feet and around.

It was a beautiful day yesterday.

The sun was out.

Everything was all white.

And it just felt good to be out and exercising.

But I came home.

And then I just felt like,

Oh,

I feel like I'm getting really hot.

And I was like,

I'm just getting progressively hotter throughout the night.

And I was like,

Oh,

I'm getting sick.

My body's fighting something.

And then this morning,

I just feel like congested and like that.

So there's a couple things on my mind.

But mostly,

It's just about meditation.

And I guess I would say the benefits of meditation in terms of how it allows us to relate back to ourselves and back to life and different things.

I was just reflecting,

Even now,

As you guys were sharing,

I just suddenly had a moment where I started to feel hot again.

I started to almost feel a little bit dizzy and sweaty.

And I was like,

Oh,

This isn't good.

And I thought there would have been other times in my life where that feeling arises like a feeling of distress in me,

If I start to feel distressed or something.

And how I was just now,

As it just came up,

I just felt like,

Oh,

I feel dizzy.

I was like,

Oh,

My body's starting to sweat.

OK,

Let me just open up.

And just let it pass.

And then it's over.

And it's like,

OK,

Cool.

It's back.

And there's something to be said about this practice of watching the passing of emotions,

Watching the passing of thoughts.

Like some people say it's like clouds passing.

You just watch the thoughts come and go.

And I feel it's the same thing with emotional states,

That one of our biggest problems,

I would say,

Is that we're very attached to states in the past that we've felt and we don't want to feel again,

Or things we have felt and we do want to feel again.

So I would almost say like feeling something once that's painful and you don't want to feel it again,

But holding onto it,

That's called trauma.

Right?

Something painful happens,

And you're still holding it now.

So you're living your whole life as a reaction to not wanting to have to feel that thing again,

Whether it was a feeling of being alone or abandoned or worthless or rejected or not enough,

Not seen,

Not acknowledged,

Injustice.

Pick your flavor of suffering.

Everyone has one.

That there's something in each of us,

Emotional states that each of us try to build our lives around,

Having to feel it,

Build our personalities around having to not feel certain things.

If you don't want to have to face a feeling of worthlessness,

Maybe you'll build yourself up as somebody who can do everything.

Right?

You always function.

You're always doing something for everybody.

So you can never be accused of being not enough.

Or you like to read and quote books and use knowledge.

The Dalai Lama said it,

So it must be true.

And because I know that,

It means you can't reject me because I'm quoting the Dalai Lama,

And he's an authority.

Right?

So there's a lot of people.

I know people in my life that they sit there,

And they like to profess all this knowledge,

Quote unquote,

That they have.

But it's just a security because they know as long as I'm just passing on knowledge,

Nobody can reject me.

So I'm OK.

Or we don't want to feel alone.

There's a lot of people that loneliness is their thing that they don't want to feel.

So they build up a whole life of being in contact with people and trying to do things with people and trying to create things with people and kind of always trying to be outwardly focused on everybody else all the time because they don't want to have to be alone and feel themselves.

So each of us does this in a different way.

Everyone has their own feeling or feelings that they don't want to feel,

And they build a life around it.

And consequently and conversely,

There's also things you do want to feel,

Feelings of love and connection and validation and community,

Like these beautiful feelings of joy.

And we felt something pleasurable in the past,

And then we keep trying to recreate that pleasure.

That's called addiction.

So we're trying to again and again feel the same pleasure through the same channel.

And if you do that enough,

Even your brain starts to grow in a certain way to kind of facilitate that process.

The brain actually kind of follows along our behaviors.

Neuroplasticity,

It follows.

So this taking experiences from the past and using the present moment as like a lens for that and trying to recreate or not recreate things in the future is something that a lot of us are preoccupied with without even realizing it.

And the more that we're able just to be present in this moment and to be able to see the feeling,

See what's arising,

See what's passing,

We start to get a little bit of freedom from all of that.

We start to see it's not really that the bad things aren't that bad,

The good things aren't that good.

It's all OK.

It's actually a greater gain to have a sense of peace.

I think a lot of people on the first day,

They said something along the lines of they want to feel peaceful.

But to feel peaceful,

It really,

It's about releasing those extremes.

It's about not trying to go over here and over here.

And there's this thing that I keep seeing people do.

And I was at the movie theater the other day.

And the girl,

There's some middle school girls in front of me,

And one of them towards the beginning of the movie took out her phone,

Started doing something on her phone.

It was really bright,

Like right in my face,

Right below me.

And I gave her a second.

I was like,

Maybe she'll just,

For whatever reason,

Do something,

Put it down.

But no,

She kept going.

So eventually,

I just leaned forward.

And I said,

Excuse me,

That's really bright.

It's right in my face.

Would you mind?

And she goes,

Oh,

Sorry,

OK.

And I sat back.

And then there's an older couple next to me.

And they leaned over to me.

And they said,

Oh,

Thank you,

Thank you.

And I thought,

Well,

If it really bothered you,

Why didn't you say anything?

So boundaries.

So people,

Oftentimes,

If there's something bothering them,

They don't set a boundary.

They keep it in.

And they get angry.

This person's doing this thing.

I'm so bothered.

I'm so bothered.

I'm so bothered.

But they're not doing anything about it.

And then another group of girls.

There was actually a lot of middle school girls for some reason in this movie.

Another group was coming down the stairs during the movie.

And then somebody in the back of the movie theater goes,

Shut up at them.

And then I thought,

Well,

That's the other extreme.

Either some people,

Like the people next to me,

They say nothing.

And they hold it in.

Or they set a boundary.

But they do so by,

Instead of feeling their irritation,

Like what I did,

I felt that,

Oh,

This irritates me.

But then I just communicated it very normally and naturally.

Like,

Oh,

Excuse me.

That's like,

Can you stop?

And they're like,

Oh,

Sure.

Like the guy in the back,

He felt irritated.

But then his way of setting a boundary is to throw his irritation,

His anger at the other people to be aggressive.

And you see this a lot that people either hold things in,

Or they have these destructive emotional outbursts.

I see it a lot when I'm driving.

People laying on their horns,

Yelling at each other.

Because that's a safer environment.

You'll never see any of these people again anyway.

So I can really let it out.

And you see this on both sides,

That either people,

They're irritated,

But they say nothing.

Or it comes out as like a destructive,

Mean aggression.

And I'm always just watching this.

And I'm like,

Why don't you just speak and just speak normally?

Just say,

Like,

Hey,

Can you please stop that?

Hey,

That bothers me.

Hey,

This is going on.

This middle place is missing.

And I see that this understanding of the middle place missing,

It's the same thing I see when we're meditating,

Is that people are either trying to do too much,

Or they're not doing enough.

That they're either sitting here and just kind of lost in thoughts and fantasies and feelings of this.

And then their mind returns.

And then they start doubting themselves and judging themselves and feeling stressed out like they can't meditate.

And they kind of keep jumping back and forth over this middle place.

Or like I was saying before,

It's like sitting here feeling a feeling come up.

And people would either try to hold it in and resist it.

I'm not feeling it.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm OK.

Or they go into the other extreme.

And they're like,

I can't.

And they kind of fall over in this dramatically.

It's too much for me.

Give up.

Whereas there's this middle place where you can just watch things arising and passing away and just be at peace with things as they are.

And there's just something about this.

And I haven't yet formulated this,

Because I've been kind of just over the past few days it's been mulling about in the back of my head.

But that we keep missing the middle place.

We keep missing this place right in the center.

We keep jumping extreme to extreme,

Back and forth,

Doing too much,

Doing not enough,

Internalizing things,

And then externalizing things,

Back and forth,

Back and forth.

And we're missing just that nice place of balance in the middle.

When you meditate,

It's really like you're balancing the mind.

It's this feeling of balance,

That you're sitting here and you're upright.

But if you're too tense,

If you're too stressed,

You're shaking,

You're miserable.

It's like you're sitting here almost having like a mental breakdown,

Because you're pushing too much.

And then there's other people that come to meditation.

They look at me and they say,

Can I lay down for the meditation?

And I said,

You can,

But if you lay down,

You're going to start snoring.

Right?

That's too loose.

You're too loose.

The Buddha said to play an instrument like a guitar,

A lute,

Or whatever the instrument was at their time,

If the string's too loose,

The sound's not right.

And if the string's too tight,

The sound's not right.

You need the string in the middle,

The middle place,

Right?

This place of balance.

And then it's perfect.

Then it can make beautiful music.

And really starting to understand for ourselves,

What does that mean?

And this is something that,

Again,

I feel like I'm not putting it into words clearly enough,

Because I feel like it's so multifaceted that it's hard to really kind of get the whole scope of what I'm trying to say for myself,

Even if I'm not getting the whole scope of what I'm trying to say for myself,

Even.

But it's something along the lines of,

For instance,

If meditation is just about being present,

Right?

We're human beings,

Just being.

Just be here.

You know,

That's the middle place,

This place of presence.

You're already here.

We're already present.

And that's what you do.

You know,

If I said to you,

Just sit here for today's class.

Just sit here and like stare off and just stare at me.

Or just stare straight ahead,

Wherever you're looking.

Don't do anything else.

Just sit there.

You would start to feel like you're supposed to be doing something.

Or like you're not doing not.

You're doing it's not enough.

I have to do something.

There's something missing.

I should be giving more effort.

I should be doing something.

That we miss the point.

We keep jumping it.

We keep jumping over the middle.

We keep going from living lives that are very mindless to then coming here where it's time to meditate.

And then we jump right over the spot of being here.

To again,

Trying to meditate,

Trying to do something,

Questioning ourselves,

Doubting things,

Or like falling asleep.

That we kind of go in every which way.

Instead of just being here with this presence.

Just being right where you are.

And it's funny because it's really the simplest teaching.

It's the simplest thing you can do.

And it's one of the most difficult things to do.

Because we practice busyness.

If you think about it,

The same way that people practice piano.

We practice being busy.

Probably nowadays since kindergarten.

Since the kids have to,

Now you're doing your work.

And now you have to do your homework.

And now you have to do this.

And then you start to have to do sports.

And then you have to get good grades.

And you have to go to school.

And then you have a job.

And then you have a partner.

And then you have kids.

And then there's the phone.

And there's the things.

And there's events.

And just doing,

Doing,

Doing.

Busy,

Busy,

Busy.

And we're training ourselves to be busy.

That even when you have a moment of time that's not busy,

You just start thinking about,

Well,

What are the other things I have to do?

Or you get out your phone and you call somebody.

Or start scrolling something.

Or just pick up a magazine or something.

Or turn on the TV.

It's like we just need to keep filling that space to keep the mind running at that same momentum.

And it's a training.

It's something that we've been training the mind to do.

We're training ourselves to constantly be trying to create future feelings that we want.

Trying to get away from future feelings we don't want.

To be anywhere but right here.

And if you're right here,

What you'll notice is that right here it's kind of boring.

Raise your hand if it's kind of boring just to sit here right now.

You guys are interested because I'm talking right now.

OK,

I'm bored.

But if you just sit here,

If you really just sit and just do nothing,

It's kind of maybe bland is even a good word for it,

Just kind of bland.

It's like on a scale of 1 to 10,

It's like a four.

There's nothing wrong per se,

But there's nothing stimulating.

It's just kind of blah.

It's like eating porridge for every meal.

I did a fast in the monastery for two weeks.

And the way that I did the fast was just drinking one third apple juice with two thirds water.

And it just tasted like sour water.

So every day I just kind of joked to myself,

Time for my sour water,

And I would just drink the sour water as my meals for two weeks.

And when I did that,

I realized,

Man,

Eating is so fun and pleasurable.

And ooh,

What am I going to eat?

What is the taste that I want in my mouth?

Eating the variety of food,

Ooh.

We don't realize it.

We just want something.

You go home,

You make it.

I'm going to make it tonight.

I'm going to go out to eat.

It's just so natural.

It's just this natural thing.

What do I want to eat?

What do I want?

It's always like,

What do you want?

It's always about want,

Feeding that want.

Yeah,

We don't eat because we want.

We eat because we need to survive.

Eating is about surviving.

It's like breathing.

What do you want?

The air over here or the air over here?

Doesn't matter.

You just need to breathe to keep living.

Food.

Just eat to live.

But we're in a place in our society and process of time that there's so many choices what to eat that it's like,

Well,

Now it's like,

Well,

What do you want?

And now eating,

Which is a very elemental,

Basic function of the body,

It's combined with desire.

And your desire could be something like,

I want to be healthy.

So you do one of the nice diets,

Whatever.

I want it to be combined with my morality.

So you're vegan or something because you feel bad for the animals.

Or I always go to Whole Foods and I always buy things that are organic because I don't want pesticides.

But that's also me wanting to be healthy.

Or it's like,

I want that bag of chips.

And I want that ice cream.

Or I want that burger.

That it's more just a pure feeling of desire.

What stimulates me?

What's exciting?

What excites me right now?

What food excites me?

And that's in so many levels of our lives that we haven't even seen it that,

And again,

Just from being a monk.

So it's like,

I had to shave my head.

I wore this robe.

We just ate whatever they gave us to eat.

Not many choices in anything.

And now I have hair again.

So I was like,

The wind blows.

And I'm like,

Oh,

How's my hair?

And I feel so stupid.

It feels so stupid when I walk outside and the wind blows and my hair moved.

I'm like,

Oh,

Is my hair?

And I was like,

God,

I just want to shave my head again.

It's just this extra level of stress.

It's stupid.

And clothes.

I pretty much wear the same clothes every day because I can't be bothered.

But I notice it.

I notice that other people,

They wear different clothes.

Today I want to wear this color.

Today I want this outfit.

That there's all these different levels of life that we're expressing and we're involving and things that are exciting and stimulating and they feel good.

And that's fine.

That's part of living life.

You should live the life,

Be as happy as you can be through everything you do.

And simultaneously,

Just be aware.

Just simply be aware of what are the energies,

What are the thought patterns,

What are the emotions,

What are the habits that I'm creating in my mind that when I sit down to,

And I'm not going to use the word meditation,

When I sit down to be present,

They don't let me be present.

I'm not able to be present.

What is it?

What is it that when I just sit here,

What pulls me away?

What is that burning feeling that feels like this moment?

What?

It's not enough.

I need something.

I need to worry about something,

Plan something.

Or I need to be good at something right now.

The ego,

It's really funny.

All we're doing is just being present.

And then some people are sitting here trying to be better at being present than other people.

You can even turn being present into a competition against yourself,

Even.

Today I was more present than I was yesterday.

OK,

Let's be more present,

Be more present.

So this place in the middle,

This ability just to be here,

And for this to be enough,

We need to also start training that.

And that's what this round is about.

This is what these meditations are about,

This middle place.

But also just in the daily life,

We have to slowly start to just feel into things a little bit more,

Just live a little bit more consciously,

And just asking ourselves a little bit,

What are the activities I engage in of body,

Speech,

And also mind that lead to a disharmony with the present moment?

What are the things that I'm building up in anxiety?

I'm building up a feeling of wanting this moment to be over,

Or wanting the next moment to come.

If you've ever gone on a trip,

And the trip's coming up,

Or break,

And you're so excited that the days leading up to the trip,

You're not even really present.

You're just focused on this thing that's coming.

You just want to swallow up those days in between you,

Just to have that thing at the end.

And then you have people who are in the hospital dying,

And they're like,

Man,

If I could only have one more day.

Whereas we're sitting here,

And we're like,

Man,

I just want this week to be over.

Just get out of here.

So really just bringing everything into context,

And saying,

Listen,

At any moment,

The moment is what there is.

At any moment,

This is it.

Thich Nhat Hanh,

The Zen master,

He did calligraphies.

One of his famous ones was saying,

He just wrote,

He made a Zen circle,

And in the middle of it,

He wrote,

This is it.

And I love that.

That's such a cool statement.

This is it.

Oh my god.

I'm wearing it on my shirt today.

I swear I did not know that.

This is it.

Just remember that,

Wow.

This talk was meant to be.

This is it.

This.

That's it.

Just this.

Yeah?

Can you sit here for the rest of class today?

Whatever happens,

Just say this.

This is it.

If your leg hurts,

If you're bored,

If you're tired,

Whatever's going on,

This is it.

This is this moment.

This is this moment in time,

This moment in my life.

It's just this.

No more,

No less.

It's this.

And with the mind of this is it,

You can also do stuff.

Somebody once,

There was a Zen master,

And he was drinking his morning coffee,

And someone put down a newspaper,

And started reading the paper and drinking.

And they looked at him,

And they said,

Now Zen master,

You're drinking your coffee,

And you're reading a paper?

That's not very mindful of you.

And the Zen master looked at them,

And he said,

When you're drinking a coffee,

And you're reading a paper,

Just be drinking the coffee and reading the paper.

So even though he was doing two things at once,

He's like,

And when you're doing two things at once,

Just do those two things.

You don't have to do mindful walking.

Go for a run,

But you can run mindfully.

You can have conversations with people mindfully.

You can talk to your kids.

You can apply for jobs.

I actually today called,

Wrote an email to the Patriots to see if they wanted a meditation teacher.

And they responded pretty quickly to put my name on file for later.

And then I called the Seattle Seahawks to see if they wanted one.

And they put me right through the trainer,

And I was in bed,

And I was like,

Oh my god,

I wasn't expecting to actually talk to somebody.

So I was like,

Meditation is good.

But just be with whatever you're with.

Whatever you're doing,

You can be with it.

So again,

Missing the middle place.

Often people think,

If you're going to meditate,

That means you're living off in a cave in the Himalayas,

That you have to be doing nothing,

And you're away from everything.

It's like,

No,

Just be here.

This is it.

It would be amazing.

Honestly,

This is it.

We should all wear this is it shirts,

Just to remind each other,

Just to walk around.

Everywhere you look,

It's just this is it.

That'd be amazing.

Imagine.

Imagine if any time anything happened in your life,

And maybe even more so when nothing was happening in your life,

A sign would just pop up in front of you,

And it just says,

This is it.

It's,

For me,

Just such a,

That's it.

That's the whole message right there.

This is it.

Close your eyes to meditate.

This is it.

There's nothing else to do.

Just this.

Meditation,

It's not about getting somewhere.

It's about learning how to be here.

And if there's nothing else you guys take away from this meditation series,

Let it be that simple message.

Yeah,

That meditation is not about getting somewhere.

It's about learning to be here.

That's it.

And you just get better and better and better at being here.

So why don't we sit in a position that feels comfortable and stable for us?

And you can close your eyes or not.

And we begin the practice of just being here.

If you're trying to meditate right now,

You've already lost.

If you are taking yourself too seriously right now,

You have already lost.

If you have any idea of what this moment is about,

Of how to do this,

Sitting with my back straight and hanging out and doing this thing you've already lost,

Try to just be here to really deeply make peace with this moment,

With this experience.

To know that this is it,

And it is all there is.

And it is only our stupidity,

Our delusion that is always trying to create something else.

This is it.

Just be here.

Be here with whatever is here.

When we meditate and tell people to feel their breath,

It's not because the breath is special or magical.

It's simply that when you close your eyes and you sit here,

The breath is one of the only things left that's still moving.

It's simply this is it.

It's right there.

The body is here.

The thoughts are here.

The feeling is here.

This blackness,

This space.

You're learning to be here.

This moment is grounded.

This moment is safe.

This moment is precious.

This moment is happening.

This moment is now.

So this is it.

What is this to you?

What is your unique experience of this?

What does your moment look like?

What is your experience of this?

Can you be here?

You don't need to fill this with thoughts and stories,

Stimulation.

Once you have allowed this moment to be enough,

You are a master.

That's all that it takes.

Bring it back.

Feeling your body.

What does this moment feel like in your body?

Your body is breathing because that's what's happening right now.

Experience this.

This is enough.

I am enough.

It is enough.

We are enough.

Relaxing,

Making peace with this moment and with this moment and with this one and this one and this one.

We are enough.

We are enough.

We are enough.

We are enough.

We are enough.

We are enough.

We are enough.

We are enough.

Coming back to this middle place.

We are being present.

It should be effortless.

More of an intention.

More of a recollection.

Remembering,

Oh yeah,

Just be right here.

Let's be with this.

More of thought.

Feeling the body sitting here.

Getting this general mindfulness,

This general presence.

Once we've established the general presence of the body,

Noticing the body breathing,

The air flowing in and out of the nose,

Choosing a specific aspect of this moment to look at the breathing.

Being here with this in a specific way.

The breath.

The breath.

The breath.

The breath.

The mind wanders a lot,

Staying with the more general presence of the body.

When the mind has built up sufficient momentum towards presence,

Lifting that focus more towards the breath,

Step by step by step.

The breath.

Deep breaths in through the mouth.

Out through the mouth.

Slowly allowing our eyes to open while maintaining this state of being.

Not looking at anything in specific,

Letting the eye gaze be soft.

This is it.

Taking a few last deep and full breaths.

Taking the hands together until they're warm,

Placing the hands over the eyes,

Rubbing the eyes,

The face.

Returning energy,

Warmth to the body.

Rubbing the ears,

The neck,

The shoulders,

The back.

Down the knees,

The legs.

Shaking out,

Stretching.

And also realizing that the moment,

This moment is still going on.

We're still right in the middle of it.

It's easier to see the moment when we're just sitting here in this room.

But in a second,

We're going to start moving.

The moment's going to start changing.

Our body position,

Our interactions will then be in the hallway,

Will then be in our cars,

Will then be driving,

Will then be home.

So this will always just be it.

It'll just be right now.

But what it is,

It'll always keep looking different.

How can we ride that wave?

How to start bringing this recollection of present moment out of these walls.

You're a human being,

So you're never separated from that state of being.

That is always with you.

All you need to do is remember that.

That's it.

Mindfulness means to remember,

Just remember it.

And you'll forget and you'll remember.

So this week's meditation challenge,

It's not to meditate for five days or seven days.

It's to meditate in one continuous stream from now until next class.

I'm just kidding.

But if you wanted to,

Because you're always just right here,

It's not like the meditation lives in this room.

It's not like you have to do anything to meditate.

It's not like the basketball court next to,

You know,

You need the ball and the hoop.

You don't need the props to meditate.

It's just about being wherever you are in each moment.

Just be present with this,

Whatever this is.

Try that throughout the week.

When you wake up,

When you're in traffic,

Try a difficult situation.

When you're having an argument with somebody,

When you're worried.

Yeah,

How does it feel to be in the moment when the moment feels uncomfortable?

See if you could just stay in the moment instead of trying to change it,

Getting angry at it.

See which moments feel beautiful,

Blissful,

Nice.

Really starting to bleed these edges.

What is meditation?

What is not?

What is practice?

What is not?

This state of being here,

You're always just here.

You've always just been right here.

We just forget.

That's all it is.

We're always right here.

So with that,

I'll send you all home.

And see you next week for the last class.

Thank you.

Reviews

Yay Seth Monk on Insight Timer ♥️.
Loved it - simplicity and truth.

Thank you. I'm grateful to have found this mediation, and talk.