Stuck On Repeat ~ Serenity Wellness Podcast E58

As we deepen our connection to inner awareness, we may find ourselves stuck repeating patterns and cycles not in alignment with our actual desires. Awareness brings an openness to change. The more awareness we have, the more willingness we find to participate in changing directions. Sometimes we are aware, but fear, uncertainty, or lack of tools might keep us stuck on repeat. I’m going to highlight some common patterns we might find ourselves stuck in, sprinkled with tools for movement.

Transcript

Hello,

Welcome to Serenity Wellness Podcast.

My name is Nicole White.

I'm here to help you build your wellness toolbox for mental,

Emotional,

Physical,

And spiritual health.

Welcome to episode 58,

Stuck on Repeat.

As we deepen our connection to inner awareness and build our wellness toolbox,

We may find ourselves stuck repeating patterns and cycles that aren't in alignment with our actual desires.

Awareness brings an openness for change.

The more awareness we have,

The more willingness we find to participate in changing directions.

Sometimes we might be aware,

But fear or uncertainty,

Even a lack of tools,

Can keep us stuck repeating.

I'm going to highlight some common patterns we might find ourselves stuck in,

Sprinkled with some tools for movement.

Reading is an area that often is threaded through other categories.

Our mind repeating the same story,

Picking up the same book over and over.

What story do you keep reading?

At times we might even have the awareness that the story we keep telling ourselves is not true,

Not even our story.

But we keep pulling that same book off the shelf in a library full of options.

These cycles that we continue to repeat,

If you really slow down,

Listen,

And feel what they're doing,

You'll notice how they're impacting you.

You'll begin to hear your inner dialogue,

Feel your upset stomach or heart racing.

You'll start recognizing those words and where they really come from,

How somewhere along the way you've morphed someone else's voice into your own and the impact it has on your daily living.

Until we slow down and listen,

We might not notice that our inner dialogue is harsh and that we've somewhere along our way become our own abuser.

Our bodies remember the feelings connected with unresolved emotions and it could lead to repeating these patterns even further.

We have these multiple,

Multiple response cycles in our body system.

For example,

If we're experiencing an anxious cycle,

The trauma response center in the body gets activated.

It's like it turns on that switch,

Opens that door.

We release these different hormones through the body.

Our blood flow begins to change course.

Areas of our nervous system get activated and turned on and it can create almost like a drug-like buzz throughout our body as our whole body starts to do this opioid dump in the system.

This then further will impact our inflammation,

Increase those thought loops among many other areas.

These feelings can feel familiar to us and although they might not be an effective way of living or how we want to live,

They also feel safe due to that unhealed stuck emotion within us.

This also contributes to how we become the voice of abuse towards ourselves.

Hearing that language from others in the past and then taking that language,

Forming it into our own voice and criticizing and judging ourselves.

We're with ourselves all day,

Every day.

Think of the impact of that if that's how you're hanging out with yourself through judgment and criticism.

If that's the internal dialogue that you share with you each and every day.

Whole impact on the body.

Every thought,

Every word carries a vibration that goes through us and impacts us.

Being clear and mindful of if you are in fact making yourself moldy on the inside.

When you notice this inner language and become aware of the actual author,

Ask yourself if that person were to write a book on the fundamentals of how to live life.

Would you buy that?

Would you use that as your guidebook of how you're trying to live?

Do they live and perceive life in the way that you're actually desiring?

And if not,

Notice what fears end up popping up for you of letting go of that story.

What is it that helps you to cling to it,

To keep pulling that same story off the shelf as you notice maybe it's really not effective and maybe even more harmful to how you're hanging out with you?

Sometimes when I'm talking with people about self-care and how nothingness can be a valuable part of that,

Clients will express some resistance to that notion.

But as we start diving deeper,

We'll often find that there's a story there that they're reading.

Sometimes the story is that if down time is a part of self-care or relaxation,

That means that they're being lazy.

Or if they incorporate that,

It means they're going to become lazy and just complacent in life.

But until they try reading a different story and recognizing the freedom from those anchors and how much it ends up moving them further towards health and wellness,

Activating that growth and creativity,

They can keep repeating the same story.

Movement brings movement.

Stillness brings movement.

Both are equally valuable.

And remember you are the author of your story.

You have a library of resources around you to expand your path and knowledge.

These internal stories might also keep us stuck on repeat in our mindsets and perceptions.

Finding we hold on to beliefs that we don't believe,

Prejudice and judgments that hurt our heart and walls that we put up to divide when we're actually wanting connection.

Expanding your filter will open your mind.

Another area that we can find ourselves stuck repeating are related more towards the worry cycles or future predictions maybe that we will try to formulate in our mind to think that we are somehow getting ready for something or activating clarity in some way.

But when we look at the reality behind that,

It's more often not the case.

Each time we do this in this worry cycle or predicting the future mindset,

We're creating a motion with it.

As we create even these future scenarios in our mind,

We'll have an emotional experience of whatever it is that we're creating in our mind.

And we might even go so far as to think of how we would react in that situation.

So we're kind of future thinking this event,

Situation,

Conversation,

Thinking of how we in this made up future situation might react or speak.

So we'll have the emotional experience of that then.

And then at times we might even get more upset with ourselves about how we perceived we would be reacting in this illusionary future fantasy that we created.

So think about that.

All the impact that has based on illusionary stories that we create in our own mind.

How often do you use the power of your mind to connect with more strength based or empowered stories?

Stories full of empathy and love.

What creates an avoidance for you of just being in the present?

When we're in our mind writing and reading stories,

We're not in the now.

We are though indeed pumping up our emotions and often arrive with those emotions when we interact with the reality that is in front of us.

These areas can also contribute to how we find ourselves stuck in different communication styles or emotion reaction cycles.

In communication we can repeat avoidance,

Self-focused or ignition cycles.

With avoidance there's a fear of our own emotions or the emotions and reactions of others.

And using more of a self-focused communication,

It can be more of a higher connection to an ego filter or more of a one directional listening style.

And when thinking of an ignition style,

That's that high fueled conversation.

Lower maybe connection to that empathic filter and also more of a defensive communication way of interacting or trying to be heard somehow.

And all of those different patterns there,

When they're peeled back,

So when we slow it down,

When we start to peel it back and see like what's under here,

What's creating this,

It's often linked up with a discomfort or an unawareness of emotions and how to regulate them.

Remember often many of us were not taught tools of how to understand our emotion or how to regulate them.

No blame,

No judgment on whoever our teachers were just wasn't part of what was presented as important for many,

Many,

Many generations.

We're just really now starting to understand and embrace the importance of all of this.

But never too late to learn something different.

Going it down helps us see,

Helps us regulate and helps us understand.

We might also find ourselves having one go to emotion as the only chosen one.

While we have all these others to help us process and navigate acceptance of all emotion.

When we accept and embrace all of our emotion,

It allows us to be our full human self as well as create emotional balance and regulation.

Again,

All emotions important.

They all play a role,

But they all assist in balancing the spectrum of us.

The avoidance of our emotion can also lead to being stuck on time wasters or procrastination patterns because those things often have an emotional linkage.

We can lose sight of how we hold value and get sucked up into things like social media,

Hitting refresh over and over and over for what?

Is that the value you hold on your time?

It's kind of a whole nother thing,

So I'm going to be breaking out another episode to talk a little bit more about this idea of value for our time.

But just for now,

Be on the lookout.

Where are you wasting your time?

How do you value your time?

And are those two things matching up?

We might also find ourselves actively wasting time and seeking information to hurt ourselves or fuel our own fire.

Watching endless hours of news,

Trance-like rhythms engaged in technology.

At the same time,

We may be very aware of our body's response to these things and we repeat.

We notice how it elevates our sadness or hopeless feelings,

Increases our worry or anxiety.

Further fuels our anger and rage,

Making us feel more divided instead of connected.

And we repeat.

We repeat instead of pausing and shifting direction,

Balancing and regrounding.

Facing what we're doing that is effective versus ineffective in our own lives.

Taking that accountability for our actions towards change.

What is it that you really want to be doing?

Are you perhaps living your life stuck in robotic living?

You wake up,

You eat,

You work,

You sleep.

And then you repeat.

Maybe even the eating part can be rushed.

Not even giving yourself the time or commitment to use food as medicine.

Notice all that is missing there in the living category.

We might also be stuck on repeat with escapism behaviors.

Keeping through addictions to numb out.

Knowing that the numbing is an illusion.

That it only adds further brokenness inside ourselves.

Seeing help at our fingertips,

Looking at it even,

And tossing it in the trash for the next escape.

That inner pain that we're trying to hush,

Only crying louder,

Begging to be loved.

Maybe we're escaping through using our energy to care for everyone else instead of ourselves.

Those people pleasing cycles and putting ourselves on the back burner.

Maybe not even paying attention at all to what our needs are or having awareness of what they are.

This repeat of avoidance can also lead to overindulgence in work or staying busy.

Those things in and of themselves can be positive,

But perhaps we overindulge,

Forgetting about the balance and giving time for ourselves as a way to avoid.

Breaking repeat patterns requires a commitment to yourself.

If we expected any other change within ourselves,

Would we expect it to happen,

Spending no time there?

Our physical body or work performance?

Our connection in our relationships with family,

Partners,

And friends?

The skill or talent that you have?

Sport you play?

Or instrument that you enjoy creating beautiful melodies with?

Would we think any of those areas would grow,

Spending no time there?

If we want to stop cycles and get out of repeat,

We have to spend time with ourselves.

If no time is spent there,

We'll stay stuck,

Repeating things even if they're harmful to ourselves or others,

Repeating things that keep us away from growth and healing,

Maybe even repeating cycles of self-sabotage related to happiness and love,

Repeating messages that were undeserving or unworthy,

And sometimes those messages sound much harsher.

Once we tune in,

We can connect and create change.

In addition to the tools you've been learning and some mentioned here,

Be mindful to incorporate a blend of movement and stillness in your toolbox.

Sometimes we need to move.

Sometimes we need to be still.

For example,

If we're in more of an anxious experience or maybe elevated anger connection,

We might want to incorporate more of movement.

Or if we're having a mind block,

Movement can be valuable in those areas.

It breaks things up and releases the anxious buildup or anger energy in the body,

For example.

It can also get the creative juices flowing if we feel our mind is kind of foggy or feeling stuck.

If I'm feeling anxious,

I don't go into a stillness meditation.

I do more of a walking meditation or I'll often just dance around the house.

The other day I was working on a program that I'm developing and I was feeling really stuck.

I had all the information there in my mind,

But I was really feeling blocked in action.

So I had a little dance party for me and my dogs.

And although they only lasted a song,

After a few songs,

The block was removed and I was able to really get back into the creativity and get my mind flowing and connected to the stuff I was creating in the moment.

Another way that I can,

Or you can,

But that I use music for internal movement is through humming.

So when using humming,

You would just let yourself hum whatever comes through.

Like you're not trying to,

I mean,

You can do this too for sure.

Like you can hum your favorite song and all that great stuff,

But like,

That's not what I'm talking about here.

So this is like generally just humming and you allow yourself,

Your internal knowledge and body system to hum whatever rhythms come out.

So let the body be the guide to the rhythm and the humming.

Your body is aware of the vibrational release it needs and it'll guide you to hum the rhythm that will assist you there.

Assist yourself and all that you already know within you.

I also created a little walking meditation path in my backyard that I use pretty much daily until winter.

And then I'll have to get creative with it.

But right now I use it pretty much daily and it helps me in between sometimes sessions with clients.

I'll go out there or I start my morning typically that way.

And it again creates this movement balance kind of a combination of the meditative elements of it.

And then of course all the earthing and grounding of being in nature and having my feet on the earth.

But those are ways of bringing movement,

Bringing music or bringing the vibrational quality behind music as a way to create some movement within.

And again remembering that other times stillness will be there to assist.

Helping us to connect to our inner voice and awareness to move out of being stuck.

To just be and let the beauty within that happen on its own.

Sometimes it can bring us even a deeper connection to collective consciousness where I will also use stillness as a way to sit with,

Feel and process my emotions.

All those areas being equally valuable.

As we find the areas that we're stuck repeating,

We can begin to clear the fog and see our truth.

Thank you for listening and sharing space with me today.

I appreciate you.

Please take a moment to follow the podcast and share it with others if you think it could assist them as well.

So together we can build collective wellness.

And if you're new to the Serenity Wellness Podcast,

Welcome.

You can also find tools related to wellness needs by reading the titles and short descriptions.

You might also find it helpful to start at the beginning so that you can fill your toolbox with wellness.

Stay tuned,

Stay well and thank you my friends.

Talk to you soon.

Reviews

Wonderful as usual! Thank you!

Oh Nicole this podcast really hit home for me. I’m definitely stuck on repeat partly because of the season I’m in. We buried my Dad on 9.21.20 after 2.5 months in and out of hospitals, rehabs and lastly hospice then my Mama fell and broke her hip on 9.26.20.

I can’t seem to get back on track with my life. I keep putting off getting back to the gym, doing yoga, sauna, spending times outdoors and all the things I enjoy doing. I’m so exhausted from being in the care giving role ongoing. My mama will be headed to rehab in a few days so hopefully this will give me some much needed time to regroup and start my self care again!

The timing of this podcast was perfect for me! I appreciate you so much and the tools you provide so we can live our best life!! Much love. Beverly 💜