Serenity Wellness Podcast ~ E66 ~ Emotion Storage

Emotions can be uncomfortable and even overwhelming. a high level of discomfort experiencing emotions in our body can lead to stored emotions driving us through life. These subconscious pulls pile up an already heavy pile of stored emotions that long to be healed. Learn more about how emotion storage happens, how it impacts your every day, and some started tools to do something different.

Transcript

Hi there,

Welcome to Serenity Wellness Podcast,

Episode 66,

Emotion Storage.

How full is your tank?

Emotions can be rather uncomfortable,

Even overwhelming.

A lot of times people will talk about how the experience of emotion in their body is one of the most uncomfortable things about emotion.

It can lead to such discomfort that instead of being with the body in emotion,

We can move that discomfort over to thought,

Action,

Decision,

And choice behavior that can also be uncomfortable.

It can even be destructive,

But we would rather go there than sit with self,

Sit with emotion,

And understand it.

But we have to feel and experience our emotions in order to heal them.

Otherwise it leads to these behaviors,

These choices,

These actions that numb out,

That avoid,

Ignore,

Push down our emotions,

But they still lead to how we are showing up in our day,

How we're responding to life.

It might mean that we're responding and we're moving through life in a rather trance-like behavior.

If we're not connecting to ourself,

We're often moving through life kind of in a trance,

And it also will interfere with our relationships with others.

If we have an overall emotional avoidance in self,

For example,

And we might be having an emotional experience that is connected with another,

It often will lead to us throwing those things in our backpack and carrying them around.

I have a whole episode about that,

And I'll put the link down below there for you,

But we will carry these things,

These situations around that have an emotional experience for us,

And we're numbing it out,

But we're not forgetting it in our mind.

This is often with another person,

And then maybe months later,

Sometimes years later,

You're having another discussion,

And all of a sudden,

All those things that were stored in there get thrown out on the table,

And now it's not about the thing that was initially talked about or brought to the discussion table,

If you would.

It's all these other things,

And the person on the receiving end of that often receives it in a bit of a state of dazed confusion.

I'm a marriage therapist also,

So I'll give a random example there.

A couple will be talking about unloading the dishwasher,

Or when you're done with the dish,

Can you please put it in the dishwasher?

Or if you're an individual like me,

I have a dishwasher,

But I don't use it.

I prefer to hand wash,

So can you hand wash the dishes kind of thing,

Whatever your situation is,

But maybe you're having a discussion about something like that,

And then suddenly,

It turns to,

Well,

Look at all the times I asked you to do this and you didn't do it,

Or do you remember that time three months ago when I asked you to take the clothes out of the dryer for me because I needed it not to be wrinkled and you didn't and it ruined my day?

People will not only put the stuff in their backpack,

But then they will over-personalize or over-connect the responsibility of their emotions onto another person.

We can have an exchange and a discussion and a situation with lots of different people in our life or absorb information through reading or if you watch the news or something like that.

Our emotional experience,

Though,

Is our own responsibility,

How we move through it,

How we speak through it,

How we process it.

If we're doing all this,

If we're storing and avoiding,

It creates this emotional storage in the body.

The example I gave about what we carry around in our backpack and how that might interplay with communication with another,

That same exact thing is happening inside yourself.

The emotions that you have experienced in life,

And I'm talking back,

Like childhood,

Adolescence,

Early adulthood,

The emotions that we had that we ignored,

Stuffed away,

And never got back to,

They continue to move with us.

They continue to interact and interplay with the cycles that we carry out in our life with others,

But also with ourselves.

Often these emotions can really get heightened,

But we keep ourselves so busy and so disconnected from ourselves as we move through the day that it goes unseen.

We just keep on repeat,

And we might even have a little bit of an awareness come through that,

Like,

What I'm doing isn't working.

There's a form of therapy called reality therapy.

It's like,

What are you doing?

Is it working?

And if it's not working,

What are you doing?

That's not the primary questions of reality therapy.

I'm just giving it in a little,

Not a shell of an example,

But it's like we can have that awareness and then we still are not connected to ourself enough that we will keep it repeating.

And again,

It can go back pretty far in terms of the repeat cycle.

I'll talk a little bit about that when I get to the latter part of this podcast when I'm talking about the energy body,

But even if you listened to the last episode I did on cellular imprinting,

You can hear in that one how it goes back generation after generation.

So we have a learned cycle of what to store.

Did we have safety around our emotions?

Were we allowed to talk about our emotions and express them,

Or were we told we're too sensitive,

Get over it,

All the things that people say?

Another thing to keep in mind is if you had early childhood trauma or even trauma in adolescents and adulthood,

Really it doesn't matter the age,

But this is even higher for children.

And it's where our body knows way more than we let ourselves realize it knows.

But in this respect here,

Our body knows when we're in a traumatic experience what we can handle at that time.

It's often what leads to children disassociating during traumatic events from early childhood.

But again,

It doesn't matter the age.

Our body is aware that it can only process so much in the moment.

Here I am.

I'm about to splinter off,

But all this stuff is coming to mind that I want to share as I'm saying this.

It also,

That part there,

Our body,

Our whole self knows what we can process in the moment around emotion.

It is also what leads to us having intense emotion dreams at times.

Our subconscious will know that in our moving day,

It might be too much to process,

Too much for us to kind of download the information,

Absorb it,

Recognize it,

All the things that it can give us sequencing or understanding or elevated emotion in our dream cycle as well,

Because of that very same thing.

See,

We're so complex,

And this is why I go all over the place in these podcasts,

Even though I try to stay on task.

So back to where we were.

We've got the storage situation.

As I gave the example,

What we hold in our backpack,

Throw out on the table,

Same thing in our emotion body,

What we're ignoring and not paying attention to,

Stuffing around,

Numbing out,

Or those things that our body didn't have us feel and experience at that time because it wasn't the right time.

We never went back and gave ourselves love,

Gave ourselves compassion,

Understanding,

I hear you,

I see you,

To help it heal.

It's present with really any emotion that comes through,

This emotion storage.

Oftentimes some of the more common ones,

Again,

It could be any emotion,

But the more common ones are around embarrassment,

Shame,

Guilt,

Or even anger and resentment,

That things in the backpack often will lead to elevated resentment because we're just stewing,

Stirring,

Just waiting.

It's like we're waiting to throw out the bombs that we have to put the person in their place or whatever background noise we've got going on there.

It's just not effective.

Same thing for ourself.

So when we have this emotion storage in the body,

It can create these reaction cycles with others and with ourself.

We might get into chronic cycles of numbing out,

Which can lead to destructive behavior.

It can lead to destructive relationship connections and patterns that we might find ourselves in.

It can also bring up almost childlike decision-making or behavior or patterns and behaviors from our early adolescence.

Most of us had high reaction cycles as adolescents.

Our impulse control connection in the front of the brain,

It doesn't happen until 25 years old and if there's trauma or addiction history,

It's even later in life.

So it's very common to just have low impulse controls in adolescent or young adult,

But even later in life,

We can still engage in that,

This emotion storage,

Because what happens,

We're moving through our day,

We're moving through life.

Something in the day occurs.

We have an emotion about the situation,

About an experience that we're in.

We're feeling anxious.

This emotion storage in the body will,

How the,

What we keep in our backpack,

We throw it out on the table.

Well,

Now we have an experience in the today that is an anxious experience.

The emotion storage in the body remembers what that feels like from a past experience and starts throwing it on the table.

Sometimes it will go so far as to have an imagery of past experiences that were similar.

Sometimes it's more of just the body starts fueling it up.

We'll start at maybe a three with the anxiety and it goes up to a five or six pretty quickly because the body's like,

Oh,

I remember this.

I'm ready.

Ready.

Fight,

Flight,

Or freeze.

Collapse is another one,

But fight,

Flight,

Or freeze and ready to go,

Or maybe even that collapse.

But initially we might get with the anxiety,

We might get more into that.

It's this emotion storage.

It can even activate the mind of,

Oh,

I remember that time when I was anxious then and when I was feeling anxious over here,

Like for social anxiety would be a common one.

People will reiterate or regurgitate conversations in their mind and they will tell themselves they said something embarrassing and then they'll elevate the feeling of embarrassment and they'll start going through this dialogue of all the things they've said and done that are embarrassing.

Therefore that's going to elevate the emotion where we might start out with an experience where we're feeling frustrated and then we will fuel ourselves up all the way up to anger or even to rage sometimes.

It's where we take ourselves and if we're only tapped in partially to ourselves and partially to our emotions and we're half-tranced out,

Tapped out,

It's going to impact how aware we are of where we're going and what we're doing in the day and in that experience itself.

It's going to impact if we recognize that past folders are opening up and elevating.

It's going to help us see and recognize,

Is it time for me to slow down and allow the emotions that maybe I have been avoiding to come a bit to surface so that I can look at them and they can stop being the guide to my life?

These subconscious things,

Sometimes we don't recognize them because it's a very quiet awareness and in the tapping out of the experience of emotion and how this emotion storage,

Our bodies remembering all of this,

When we aren't connected,

We are also not connected to our intuitive guidance,

That gut feeling.

If we're not in emotion connection,

We're not in body.

It's where somatic therapy comes in to train to be in body for regulation,

But if we're not in body,

There's no way that we are connecting with the more subtle voice of our soul,

That intuitive guidance or gut instinct,

Whatever terminology sits for you.

That is so strong,

Although quiet because it knows this history.

It knows the things that are stored within and it can also pick up on things that our mind cannot.

If we slow down enough to listen and feel that,

The felt senses within,

It will also guide us into this emotional storage that we have so that we can offer ourselves some healing there and get out of the trance,

Get out of the way we're moving that if we had some healing around it,

We might not keep the feeder loop happening.

It's like when we have this emotion storage and our subconscious is the driver,

We will subconsciously feed the very suffering within.

We have suffering and pain,

For example,

Around feelings of unworthiness or low self-esteem or anxious connection styles,

Our subconscious will drive us to that very type of connection if the healing within has not occurred.

I will talk about that more.

I'm going to do the connection style episode that I said I would do.

I'll do that next week.

Just kind of keep that in mind.

In addition to all of this that I've already explained,

I am very mindful not to talk too much about energy therapy in this podcast.

I respect and understand that energy therapy is not for everybody.

It's often due to pretty deep in-ground belief systems around what energy therapy means.

I'm not going to get into all of the back behind that,

But I can say that it is tied into how the mystic was removed from organized religion way,

Way back.

Then what was taught in organized religion around deciphering what energy therapy is,

And it was put into this whole other category that it is not.

I am mindful of that and don't talk about energy therapy too much in this podcast because I don't want any listener to turn away from gathering the mental health information that I am offering here because the mental health information is just so important for so many of us in society right now.

Not even just right now,

Just in general,

Right?

If you are interested or you think that would be something you'd be interested in learning more about,

Comment below and let me know,

And I'm on this fence of contemplation about starting another channel just on the energy therapy stuff.

My clients are really asking me to do that as well.

I'm just trying to be mindful of my own balance of life.

However,

I would be interested to hear if you want to learn more about energy therapy specifically,

And I'll keep that in mind.

In the meantime,

I do just want to mention an example here for you.

Talking about energy storage in the body,

All these different ways that we can get into trance-like behaviors,

We talked or I talked in cellular imprinting how it even goes back multi-generations,

Intergenerational,

Cross-generational imprinting,

All these things.

We can also collect the energy from other people,

And that can be through energy exchange,

Which I won't get into that part,

But it can also be about taking responsibility and ownership so that we don't have to face our own emotion and sit with our own emotion.

That does have to do also with energy exchange,

Kind of how I said intuition.

I can't see where I'm pointing here.

Two inches below our belly button is our sacral area.

That's where our intuition lies as well.

So our intuition can guide us there,

And how I mentioned the intuition can hear more than the mind can because it can pick up on the energy of others and that exchange,

The energy of emotion exchange as well.

The example I wanted to actually give you,

Not that one,

With energy therapy is about the sacral area.

Yes,

Also about how it is where our intuition lies,

But in terms of the emotion storage,

That area in the body is where we store our anxiety,

Depression,

Past traumas that have not been worked through and healed.

It is also those past generations.

It's where their trauma is stored in our body as well.

It's where we have certain addictions and addictive patterns that are energetically connected in the body there.

You can think of the energy system as a river running through the body and these examples I'm talking about here.

So two inches below belly button,

The sacral area,

It's just not like a little spot there.

It goes around the body.

Those things are stored there energetically.

The other things that are connected to the sacral area have to do with our creativity,

Have to do with our intimate connections.

Also things like digestion,

Our liver,

Our kidneys,

Lower back pain,

Pain and ailment in the body can also be about emotion storage.

It's a ginormous topic that I'm certainly not going to digress into here and as mentioned,

I respect that energy therapy is not for everyone,

But just take that as an example,

That sometimes if you're noticing some blocks around creativity,

Connection,

Just know that sometimes it might be helpful to look at what emotions you might be really clinging,

Holding onto and ignoring and giving them some attention,

Which moves me into today's tools.

Just because we're aware that we're storing emotion,

It doesn't mean that we're going to feel safe and comfortable to go in and feel the emotion and work through the emotion.

I certainly encourage you to work with a therapist if that is something that is helpful for you as well.

But these are some other ways that you can start to look at this a bit for yourself.

You want to first notice what patterns and loops you might be into in terms of emotion storage and how you connect with yourself or others.

I mentioned a moment ago about how we can overtake on the emotions of others,

Have it as a responsibility of ours or have to kind of fix it,

Resolve their emotions and the codependent like loop that that can pull us into.

If we are so uncomfortable and disconnected from our own emotion,

It's going to create loops like that one or addictive loops.

I feel an emotion.

I go take a shot of whiskey.

I feel an emotion.

What can I go binge eat?

So notice what kind of loops you get into around your emotions and then ask yourself a little bit with curiosity what that is about.

Maybe where you learned how to process emotions in that way and what you're fearing about sitting with the emotion that leads to the loop itself.

What is it about this emotion that you're like,

No way give me anything else?

Because again,

Our loops can be really destructive.

We can sabotage relationship after relationship because we're showing up with the same stuff.

We can stay in addiction loop after loop after loop and cross addiction.

We can be like,

Okay,

Stopped the whiskey,

Not drinking whiskey anymore.

I just moved to IPA beers.

I'm good.

Or I just moved to binge eating or shopping addiction or porn addiction,

The addiction loop and cross addiction just because we stopped in addiction.

Sometimes we can be addicted to being addicted and we just choose another addiction.

It's like with anxiety.

Sometimes people will dip,

Dodge and ignore all other emotions and just keep anxiety forefront ready to go.

It's like they'll dissolve one anxiety and it's like,

Who's next in line?

Come on up.

What am I ready to worry about next?

And no space for any other emotion because it's like if there's space there and then I'll let the next person in line for the anxiety upfront ready to go.

Well then what if another emotion slips in here?

No one's got time for that.

I don't have the capacity to feel that.

Don't want to feel it.

So recognize the loops.

Where did you learn the loops?

What are you afraid of in terms of feeling your emotion?

Then maybe ask yourself what you have learned that's different.

So where did I learn that?

Maybe you learned it from a parent,

A caregiver,

Society.

What have you learned since then?

What do you need to learn to help you feel more comfortable,

More at ease and more safe in your body in feeling emotion?

Spend a few days even with some curious contemplation surrounded and embraced with compassion,

Non-judgment about what comes through.

That way you're not just going off of the first thing that comes to mind,

Which is great.

We want to bank that too.

But sometimes we need some time to hear the more quiet part that's kind of hiding underneath.

It's like when I train people in meditation.

First 10 days we just do anywhere from five to 10 minutes to gain comfort.

And then once we start getting a little past the 10 minutes and have some comfort there,

It's when we hear what's underneath.

So give yourself some time to think of the answers to those questions.

And then you want to start at a low level of experience.

You don't want to jump into the fire of the highest emotion.

Let yourself start with something low.

And you also don't have to engage in something that's creating the emotion.

You can just go to your mind.

So for example,

If embarrassment is one,

Sometimes people are even embarrassed to return items at a store.

They'll tell themselves all kind of inner dialogue.

They're wasting someone's time,

That the person might have judgment against them because they're returning it,

Just things or asking where an item is in a store.

So you might just start by remembering a situation that you did that and the embarrassment feeling and let yourself sit with the feeling.

Knowing that it's in the past,

It's already happened,

That you are safe,

That you can work through this emotion.

And then you might go to a little higher level or you might allow yourself in that example to go to the store and return something to go to the store and ask where an item is.

Even if you know where the item is,

If you're that,

This level ups you really high,

I guess in case you're just audio listening to me,

If you're at a very high level of this discomfort,

It's okay to prepare yourself and to give yourself mental preparation and then actually trying it as well.

You're giving yourself permission to sit with an emotion that you might have told yourself for a really long time that it's one that you want to avoid.

Another one might be around avoidance related to the experience or feeling of frustration that you have towards something.

So you can think of a low frustration situation,

How you felt with it,

How you reacted to it,

And actually feel in the body what that emotion feels like.

Perhaps even setting a timer in these examples for 10 minutes.

Notice how you're holding tension,

Notice how you're breathing,

And then work on supporting those things.

Sitting with the emotion,

Steadying the breath,

Not trying to escape the emotion,

You're supporting it in that time.

Still sitting with the emotion,

Releasing the shoulder tension,

Releasing the jaw tension.

The more that you give yourself permission to start practicing these low level emotion experiences,

The more then you're going to build trust in yourself.

The more you're going to recognize that you have the capacity to work through and to give yourself love and understanding towards past emotion.

And that in itself gives so much more clarity to how we're engaging in life,

How we're moving through life.

If we are tapped out,

If we are half connected or not even connected at all to our emotional experience,

How can we then think that we are making sound and rational decisions through our day?

We're not even there all the way.

We're not even using the resources of all of our emotions as a human to help to support us.

So the more you tap into being aware of what you're storing,

What you're ignoring,

And what is creating that cycle for you,

The more you can start to heal these areas.

You can start giving love and compassion to your emotional experiences,

And that's then going to clear the clutter.

It's going to clear the fog,

And it's going to help you to connect more to even things like that creativity or your intimate connection with others as an example.

I hope you found that information helpful,

And I look forward to sharing more wellness with you soon.

Have a good one.

Reviews

I learned so much listening to this talk! I just want to say I am interested in learning about the energy therapy you spoke about. Thank you!

Excellent Nicole !! I could resonate with many of the things you spoke about. I’m very familiar with childhood trauma or generational trauma that is stored in the body so I’m very interested in Energy Therapy! I appreciate you so much and all the wonderful podcasts you so lovingly provide. Blessings.
Beverly 💜

This really resonated with me. I carry around a lot of emotional baggage. I would be interested in listening about energy therapy. Thank you!