This is Leah Sagan Shinraku and I'm a therapist and mindful self-compassion teacher in San Francisco.
And I'm going to lead you through a self-compassion break.
This is a really effective and portable practice that you can do anytime you're emotionally struggling.
And it's something you can do slowly as a kind of meditation,
The way that I will lead it right now.
And it's also something you can do in the heat of the moment anytime in your everyday life when you notice that you're stuck in a painful reaction or emotion and you need support.
And part of what makes this practice effective is that it incorporates soothing touch and soothing yourself when you're suffering.
And that's one of the things that we often forget to do when we're having a hard time.
So I invite you right now just to experiment with what might be a soothing touch for you.
For a lot of people that is putting one or both hands on the heart and just feeling the warmth and the soothing.
It actually,
You know,
We have a chemical response to this sort of soothing touch.
It releases oxytocin in our systems which really can help us feel more calm.
But you know not everyone responds to the hand on the heart so see if maybe putting a hand on your belly feels soothing.
Or maybe one hand on the opposite arm or hand on your cheek.
Just take a moment and find a gesture that really feels soothing for you.
Good.
Then I invite you to think of a situation in your life that's difficult.
It might be something that you've never seen before.
It might be something that's causing you stress like a health problem or a problem in a relationship,
A personal relationship or a work relationship.
Maybe you're afraid of something that you think might happen or that is happening or you feel sad.
Maybe you're not afraid of something that you think might happen or that is happening or you feel sad.
So just call to mind this situation as specifically as you can.
Whatever happened,
What this person did or said,
What you did or said.
As much as you can really bring it to mind.
Just call to mind,
Let it be alive right now,
This difficult situation.
As you call it up,
Also I invite you to if you have released the gesture,
The soothing gesture that you found,
To return to it.
So if it's your hand on your heart or your hand on your belly or on your face or one hand on the opposite arm,
Just bring that soothing gesture back and notice,
Just notice how it feels to soothe yourself right now without words while you bring this challenge to mind.
And now I'm going to share these three phrases that really can help you bring self-compassion to this painful situation.
So you can repeat silently to yourself,
This is a moment of suffering and this reminds you that this is a moment of suffering.
This situation is hard,
It hurts,
It's stressful.
Bringing awareness to what's happening,
Mindfulness.
And suffering is a part of life.
You can repeat that to yourself as well.
Suffering is a part of life.
This reminds you that suffering is part of the shared human experience.
You're not alone,
You're not isolated.
Everyone struggles.
And then again really feeling that soothing touch and saying to yourself,
May I be kind to myself in this moment?
May I give myself the compassion that I need right now?
And thinking of the specific situation you have in mind,
Maybe there are some other words of kindness and support that you really need to hear right now.
So just see what arises.
What might you need to hear right now?
And I'll repeat these three phrases again.
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is part of life.
May I be kind to myself in this moment?
So this moment is a moment of suffering.
This is the self compassion break.
And as I said earlier you can do it slowly as a kind of meditation the way that I offered it today.
You can also do it in your everyday life whenever you encounter some emotional challenge,
Some difficult situation.
You can say these phrases silently to yourself and you can use this soothing gesture that you've discovered and if you're in a situation where you don't feel comfortable using the gesture you can even just imagine,
Imagine that you're either putting your hand on your heart or your belly or your arm or your face and rely on this when you're having a hard time.
It's like a portable friend.
