Heart-Centered Inquiry

Open your mind, nurture your heart, and welcome yourself fully in this compassionate and empowering inquiry from one of Selena's Live community sessions. Note: The sound quality is lower than usual due to the nature of the live class and the hum of the computer fan.

Transcript

Wonderful.

Well welcome,

Welcome,

Welcome.

For those of you I'm getting to meet for the first time,

My name is Celina Lael.

I am a yoga and meditation instructor,

A transformational coach,

And an awakened life teacher.

Today is an opportunity for us to have this inquiry together.

What is it that keeps me from being anchored in the heart?

What is it that limits me from feeling love or feeling kindness or feeling freedom in my life?

What is it that is holding me back from being able to share this with others?

So we're going to have this inquiry together today.

What is it?

What is it in your life?

And rather than just focusing on what we think it is,

We'll also explore maybe some ideas that are new to some of us.

But I really wanted to create a conversation for our practice,

For us to engage a little more with each other.

We get plenty of good engagement time at the end of our sessions,

Yes?

And I wanted to begin today with a little more of that.

So let's actually begin today before we dive into our conversation with the centering technique.

Many of you have learned this with me already.

If this is new,

No worries,

We're going to walk through the whole experience together.

So you're welcome to practice this sitting,

Standing,

And of course,

If you can't move your body,

You can visualize this in your mind.

I'll back up a little bit so you can see my body a little more here.

So with the centering technique,

We are bringing everything into alignment in our daily lives.

The mind can can become agitated and distracted.

The emotions can feel like they're all over the place,

Or maybe we're just numbed out to our experience of the emotions.

We can essentially come out of alignment energetically,

Physically,

Emotionally,

Mentally.

And this very simple ancient yogic technique just takes a few breaths to bring everything back into this space of alignment.

So we're going to begin today with coming into alignment before we move into our conversation.

We'll begin with the hands at the heart.

Sit tall.

Again,

You can visualize this if you can't move your body.

You can practice standing or seated.

And we'll inhale by reaching one arm up.

It can be either arm to begin.

And as much as you can straighten the elbow and have these fingers really pointing up to the sky,

The opposite hand is going to come down as far as you can while still keeping the fingers pointing up.

And then we exhale slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly to come back to the heart center where we meet in balance.

And then we change sides.

So the opposite arm reaches all the way up.

Straight elbow if that's available to you.

Bottom hand is down.

Fingers are pointing up.

Exhale slowly,

Slowly to the heart.

One more time on the other side.

Inhale,

Reach the arm all the way up.

Bottom fingers still point up.

Exhale slowly to the heart.

Very good.

Pause here for a moment.

Become aware of what you're feeling in the body.

Maybe something,

Maybe nothing.

And now we'll move through this one more time with less explanation and more time for you to be in the experience.

So again,

Inhale,

Exhale,

Inhale,

Exhale,

Inhale,

Exhale.

We switch three times.

In your life when you practice this,

You're welcome to go practice it more than three rounds.

You can practice it as many times as you like throughout the day to come back into this sense of alignment.

So let us begin by inhaling.

Reach one arm up.

Exhale slowly back to the heart.

You can have the eyes open or closed.

Inhale,

Opposite arm reaches up.

Exhale slowly to the heart.

Last time,

Other side.

And then pause here for a moment.

Close the eyes if they're not already.

Feel yourself anchored in your center,

Your core.

Breathing.

Beautiful.

And we'll open the eyes.

Thank you.

So now,

What is it?

What is it that keeps us from experiencing the heart?

What is it that keeps us from experiencing the love of life itself,

The love from others,

The love from our own self?

Ah,

Great.

Great,

Brad.

Great,

Everyone.

Yes,

Gabriela is sharing powerlessness and fear of the unknown.

Yes,

We can hold ourselves back from connecting with others or being receptive,

You could say,

Even to the love of life when we feel that fear.

Yes.

Yes,

Tina is sharing limiting self-beliefs around worthiness.

Definitely.

Definitely.

Because again,

We're holding ourselves back,

Making ourselves less available because of this belief.

And let's just notice,

As much as fear is an emotion that we feel in the body,

It's often rooted in the mind.

Not always.

The body reacts to fear in a fearful way as well,

When danger is present.

Yes.

But fear is often rooted in the mind.

Beliefs of unworthiness are rooted in the mind.

Yes,

Unworthiness,

Fear of rejection.

Again,

This fear that we experience in the body that's usually rooted in some idea about our worth,

Our capabilities,

All of these things.

Our beauty,

Our attractiveness.

Yes,

Yes.

Childhood traumas.

Yes.

Yes.

Guilt and shame.

Yes,

My love.

Heather shared,

Boarded up a long ago for the fear of being hurt.

Yes.

We can,

Many if not most of us can relate to this fear of being hurt again.

Yes.

Karmasita.

Resentments.

Yes.

Positive flow.

When we feel that resentment about what someone has done,

We also hold ourselves back from experiencing that connection,

That love.

Yes,

Heidi.

Fear of false evidence appearing real.

Yes.

Yes.

Guilt and shame.

Yes.

Trajectory.

The fear of future and blame myself for everything are my favorite things.

Yes,

We do get very hooked in to our patterns of fear and withholding.

Yes,

Fear and anger.

Yes.

Yes,

My loves.

Yes.

So all of these thoughts,

Emotions,

And really perception causes this experience,

Doesn't it?

Let's just think about it from that angle for a moment.

Perception,

My perception,

Gets in the way of me experiencing love in my life and the qualities of the heart.

My perception.

My perception.

Sometimes we hear this analogy or this teaching of wearing rose colored glasses.

And we usually hear it in the context that those rose colored glasses make everything look rosy.

Like when you fall in love and you have rose colored glasses on,

You see everything through this different lens.

The same is when we live in fear or beliefs of unworthiness or holding on to those pains of the past.

We're wearing colored glasses again.

It's our perception.

So if my perception is really what is in the way,

We're not in the way.

This conversation is open conversation.

We're not here to judge how we feel.

We're not here to blame ourselves for feeling how we feel.

We're definitely not here to wrong ourselves for having whatever experience we're having.

That's not the purpose of this conversation.

We are not here to say,

Oh,

These feelings of shame and guilt and holding on to the past,

The fear of the unknown,

This is bad.

Let's get away from that.

That's not the point of this conversation.

The point of this conversation is to illuminate and possibly offer some other ways to view or experience ourselves,

Connection,

Love and so on.

So let's just take a breath.

Just notice what you're feeling in your body.

Just notice as we move into this conversation,

What do you feel?

And you don't have to put it in the chat.

This is just for you.

What do you feel in this moment?

What do you feel in this center of your heart?

And there's no right way to have a feeling or an experience right now.

This is just for you.

Inquiry.

Inquiry.

As you maybe share about feeling resentment or anger or fear or unworthiness,

What do you notice in your body,

In your relationship with yourself?

I know that whatever you're feeling is okay.

So perception.

Perception.

Yes,

Scotty,

Heavy in the heart right now.

Rev,

Heavy in sadness.

Yes,

My loves.

Yes.

Yes.

Right now we're acknowledging what we feel is in the way of experiencing those qualities of the heart.

Upliftment.

Joy.

Kindness.

Tenderness.

Intimacy.

So it's natural to feel that.

Natural.

Natural.

It's okay.

Let's just take a breath and maybe place your hand over your heart for a moment.

So perception.

Perception.

If I believe or even just have the thought that I'm unworthy,

It's in my mind.

Even if we've had experiences that really validate that belief,

It's still just in the mind.

There are people in your life,

I promise you,

No matter how unworthy you feel,

There are people in your life who see you as worthy beyond measure,

Who know you as worthy beyond measure.

So if my own perception is what is limiting this experience of the heart,

Doesn't that also mean in some way that I have some sense of power or agency in my life to experience something different in the heart?

I'm not saying it's easy,

And I'm not saying we should know what it is,

But if the lens that I am experiencing reality through is what is causing this experience of separation,

Doesn't that also mean that there is a power or an ability within me to possibly create something else?

And again,

I'm not saying that it's easy,

But isn't it possible?

Maybe?

So we're just going to go a little further out for a moment,

And then we'll come back.

And again,

I invite you just to place your hand over your heart for a moment.

Just place your hand over your heart.

And just feel whatever's arising.

Just feel it.

Just feel.

Just breathe.

It's okay if it's uncomfortable or painful.

Many of you have practiced the self-soothing practice with me,

Where we give ourselves permission to feel just as we are.

And I know for me personally that when I give myself permission to truly feel what I feel,

Whether that's rage or shame or deep grief,

When I fully feel it and I don't abandon myself,

I don't say,

Ugh,

I don't want to feel that.

When I really fully feel it,

There's freedom on the other side.

And I even find sometimes that those beliefs I would say most always.

Whatever belief or story I was telling myself before I gave myself permission to feel,

It fades away.

Even if it's a belief that I am really attached to.

I am unworthy and that's just the truth.

My life has proven it to me.

I hold onto that.

I believe it.

And then I start to feel that pain inside.

And I just feel it without telling myself the stories.

I just feel it.

And I feel it.

And I keep feeling it.

And as I give myself permission to fully feel,

Sometimes I come out of that experience of crying or screaming or just letting myself be.

And I say,

Wow,

That feeling of not being worthy doesn't feel so strong anymore.

Interesting.

So this is where I'd like to take us into left field a little bit here.

It's actually not left field at all for me,

But it may be for some of us.

Yes,

Positive flow.

This too shall pass.

But it won't pass if we keep it alive in our minds.

And this is what many of us do.

And it's okay.

We replay past pains over and over and over,

Keeping them alive.

And sometimes it's just in the subconscious,

Especially when it comes to trauma.

I'll just share very briefly here.

I had a very dysfunctional relationship for a long time.

And many,

Many,

Many,

Many years of painful experiences came from it.

And even though I have the most beautiful relationship with that person now,

We're dear friends.

And I've done so much acceptance work and healing work to be with my heart and to be with myself and to release whatever resentments or unforgiveness or pain or residual trauma,

Even though I've released so much of that.

I had a dream last night,

Or this morning,

Right before we were coming together,

Not literally right before but a few hours before.

And in the dream,

It was replaying some of the trauma that I experienced in that relationship.

And so sometimes it is in the subconscious.

And so we can do work with the subconscious mind to release it.

But quite often,

Our experience of pain,

Or this limited experience of being able to be in the heart is because of how we are thinking about ourselves in the world or others.

So here's where we're finally going off into what may be left field.

For you to believe,

And we're just going to take one example here since many of us can relate to it.

For me to believe that I am unworthy.

What am I usually relating that to?

Do I relate it to my creativity level?

My intelligence?

So many of us equate our worthiness and value to our attractiveness.

Yes,

There's such a,

An emphasis on physical beauty or attractiveness,

Meaning that we're going to be loved or lovable.

I'm reading some of your comments.

Yes,

Someone else's opinion,

Self esteem,

But we're relating it somehow to our own self.

We must have some belief that my body isn't good enough,

My mind isn't good enough.

I'm not smart enough.

I'm not.

I'm not this.

I'm not that.

Yes.

And of course,

Many of us do feel it in an inherent feeling of that.

And that's a whole other topic.

But many of us have this experience of unworthiness because we're relating it to something about us as not being good enough.

If I was just this,

Then I would be good enough.

Let's take a breath together.

And I invite you to consider for a moment that however you view yourself,

Your body,

Your mind,

Your emotions.

It's not who you are.

It's not who you are.

You are not this body.

You are not this mind.

And you are not these emotions.

You are not the experiences that have happened to you.

You are not the thoughts and feelings of worry and concern.

You are not the body.

You are not the emotions.

You are not the mind.

Just take that in for a moment.

What if I'm not the body,

And I'm not these emotions and I'm not these thoughts.

It is our identification with the body and with the emotions and with the mind that causes this experience in our hearts.

It is the identification with the mind as being true,

The thoughts being true that causes this experience of a lack of love or not being able to feel the heart.

It is our identification thinking that we are the body,

Thinking that these emotions are who we are that causes this experience.

This is not who we are.

And we can do the work.

Yes,

Jonathan,

If not that,

Then what?

If not that,

Then what?

Then what are we?

If we're not all of these things that we identify with,

What are we?

What are we?

I invite you to ask yourself,

If I am not this body,

If I'm not this mind,

If I'm not these emotions that always come and go,

Even if they feel like they last forever,

They always go.

They always come again.

So if I'm not these temporary experiences,

Then who am I?

What am I?

Soul,

Energy,

Spirit,

Love,

Spirit,

Spirit,

The self,

Mark says,

Question mark.

This is your inquiry,

My loves.

If you are not the body,

Not the emotions,

And not the mind,

Then what are you?

Who are you?

Soul,

I am that I am,

I am.

Energy,

Heather shared just the thought that it is my perception that is keeping me stuck is so free.

Higher self,

Truth,

Ground of being,

Witness,

Observer.

I am all that the universe encompasses,

Nothing at all aware.

My inner instinct,

Unlimited souls and limited body,

Source energy,

Soul,

Stardust,

Consciousness.

Yes,

My loves.

Yes.

Yes.

You are life eternal in human form having an experience.

You are life eternal.

You are life eternal.

We can spend our human lives in the dance of healing.

And I find it to be one of the juiciest parts of life.

I think many of us do.

That's why we engage in a very conscious spiritual path or we engage in a healing path.

Because there's this richness of life when we engage in the healing of this human experience.

But the fullness of who we are is already healed.

The fullness of who we are as consciousness is love itself is already in perfect union and harmony with everyone and everything.

It is this human experience,

This dance,

This Leela,

This play of life.

Where we get to feel the contraction and the separation and the pains and the joys.

But it's not who we are.

And even if you don't believe in soul or spirit or God,

You are this substance of life.

How else would you be able to witness the feelings of the body and then be able to witness the mind and witness the emotion?

Who is the one witnessing?

When you have inquiry to look at your thoughts or look at how you're feeling or look at what's happening in the body sensations.

When you have inquiry to look at these aspects of you,

Who is the one looking?

Who is the one looking?

The emotion can't look at the emotion.

If you're able to actually view your thoughts,

Then you must be something other than the thoughts.

So let's just take a breath together.

Deep breathing.

Donna shared,

My expectation keeps me stuck.

I need to not have any.

Yes,

And that's a tall order.

Part of the freedom is to release the resistance of whatever judgment we're living inside of.

To accept ourselves as we are in the shame,

In the resentment,

In the moments of fear.

To accept ourselves as we are,

And that is a practice,

My loves.

Because for most of us all we know is resistance.

All we know is judgment,

At least in our conscious mind.

This life force that we are knows boundaryless expression of self,

Expression of love,

Expression of life.

But the limited self,

The limited consciousness,

Experience,

It lives in constant resistance.

What do I mean by that?

I mean if I feel shame,

What is my reaction?

Oh,

I don't want to feel that shame.

Or maybe I notice that I'm feeling the shame and then I think about how shameful I am.

I think about all of the reasons I should feel that shame.

We push against our experience and there's no freedom.

I shouldn't have expectations.

I shouldn't have judgments.

I should be awakened already.

I should be enlightened.

I should,

Should,

Should,

Should,

Should.

Until we're piled a mile high in experiences that we have no control over.

And we push ourselves and push ourselves and push ourselves into this more compact space.

Until we just feel overwhelmed or like we can't breathe or disconnected.

So how can we take a breath right now and give ourselves permission to be having this human experience?

Just for a moment.

I'm not saying that you have to feel all of these uncomfortable emotions.

Or that you have to feel every emotion to be healed or to be free.

But just for this moment,

Would you be willing to just be with what is?

Just take a breath.

That's all.

Just take a breath.

Yes,

Charlotte,

We should all over ourselves.

And I know some of you aren't laughing right now.

I know this is very intense.

This is very intense to consider these ideas and to feel what may be coming up.

Because if the past is the past and the future is unknown,

And this is all there is in this moment,

When I hold on to shame,

Isn't it in a way a shield or a guard or a wall between me and having to feel more pain?

If I hold on to the belief of shame,

Am I open to love in my life?

If I hold on to the belief that I'm unworthy,

Am I open to connection and intimacy with others?

If I hold on to that resentment,

Do I have to face getting hurt the way I did before?

Not really,

No.

So I'd love to hear from you.

What is arising in your awareness in this conversation?

You probably thought we were going to have a therapy session and unpack all of your problems.

But this is the play of life,

To have emotional experiences,

To hold on to these beliefs.

And what I find is that we can do years of therapy and we can have powerful healing experiences,

We can heal our lineage even,

We can have these exquisite experiences of freedom in this beautiful life,

Mixed in with all of the pain.

But as long as we are identifying with the human experience,

With the body is who we are,

With the mind is who we are,

With the emotions is who we are,

As long as we hold on to this identity,

We will always be caught in this cycle.

Always.

And when we consider or begin to identify with ourselves as the witness,

The consciousness,

The soul,

The spirit,

The life force energy,

When we begin to see ourselves or consider ourselves as that,

It's as if we are lifted out of the throes of this hole that we don't know how to climb out of.

Because doesn't it feel that way sometimes?

When we are caught in our painful experiences,

We just don't know how to get out of them sometimes.

And it's usually because we need to feel,

But sometimes we get caught in them cyclically also.

We may feel,

But then we find our mind takes us right back in it.

So what I find is that the true freedom that I experience is identifying more and more and more with myself as this fullness of life.

Some days I'm in the throes of that kind of emotional pain or feeling lost or these kind of experiences again.

And if I become aware,

I should say when I become aware,

At some point,

Eventually,

I realize,

Oh,

I was identifying with my mind again.

I was believing my thoughts.

For anyone who knows Byron Katie's work,

This is a fantastic body of work to start to train ourselves to understand that the mind is not who we are.

Oh,

Wow,

I was believing all of these emotions to be who I am,

Rather than realizing that they're an experience that comes and goes,

That changes based on what I eat,

How well I sleep,

What I'm watching or reading,

Whether I'm spending time in nature.

These are all temporary experiences,

And when I identify with them,

I suffer more.

I can also experience great joy,

But when I get caught,

It's because I'm identified with them.

So let's hear a little bit about what's arising for you,

Because I know this conversation can feel very uncomfortable,

And you may be really resisting it,

And that's okay too.

You may be saying,

No,

This pain is how I feel,

And it's just how it is,

And it's how it's going to be.

And if that's where you're at,

I fully honor you,

Right where you are.

I've been there before.

I've been there before,

Where it was difficult to consider that anything else was possible.

My emoji friend shared,

I hold onto those things that are hurtful to me sometimes,

Because it's what I know versus the fear of the unknown.

Ah,

Yes,

My love.

Yes.

Yes,

Exactly.

Exactly.

We had a great conversation on skepticism the other day.

And inside of that,

We were touching on how if you really look at people who are very skeptical,

Or who live in pessimism,

And if this is you,

Then you can look inside of your own self,

There has been some experience of pain,

Or some experience of love being taken away that cultivates that level of skepticism or pessimism.

Of course,

Having a certain level of healthy skepticism or curiosity inquiry,

That's fine.

It's all fine.

Whether you deem it to be healthy or unhealthy,

It's all fine.

It's your experience.

But when we live in that deep skepticism,

It's actually because it's safer.

It's so much safer.

We don't have to take the same kind of risks when we hold onto that fear.

Because as you said,

My love,

The fear of the unknown is much more terrifying than the comfort of the wounds that we hold onto.

Now,

That one's a big one to consider.

It's much scarier to take a risk into the unknown than it is to remain in the comfort of the wounds that we are familiar with.

And this isn't to say that we should just throw our wounds to the wind,

Or everyone should just be able to heal everything in a moment.

No.

No.

We all have our healing journey,

And it's different for each of us,

Whether that's a physical journey or emotional or mental.

And where each of us are at in this moment is perfect.

And whatever words reach you from this conversation,

That's it.

That's it.

That's all it is.

I'm making my way back to the comments.

Tina,

These experiences and reactions are real,

But not true.

Yeah,

You could say it like that.

We all have different languages,

Right?

Like,

I'm experiencing it,

But it's through my own perception.

We know that we don't experience the world in the same way.

Different schools of thought or even schools of science would say that none of us are actually experiencing reality.

None of us are experiencing reality.

We're all experiencing our perception of reality.

And that's really true.

Because I'll say this one last little thing.

I'm going on many tangents today.

In each second,

The brain takes in two million bits of information.

Every second.

Two million bits of information.

But of that two million bits of information,

The conscious mind can only process 134 bits of that information.

So out of two million bits of information,

134 bits are able to be processed.

And each of us are different.

So the 134 bits that I process are going to be different from the 134 bits that you process.

None of us are experiencing what is actually happening in reality.

None of us.

We are all experiencing reality through our perception and our brain's ability to process information.

Grace,

For myself it doesn't.

.

.

Oh,

There goes your comment,

My love.

Oh,

I think I might have lost it.

Oh no,

I made it back.

Grace,

For myself it doesn't seem.

.

.

I wish they'd figure out a way to hold these in place.

It doesn't seem possible to just let things go,

But rather face them and walk through the full truth of them.

Then they just kind of dissolve.

Yes,

My love,

Exactly.

I find the same thing.

For many years I've been inside of a body of work that has really encouraged us dropping stuff,

Dropping our pains,

Dropping our beliefs,

Dropping them.

And also feeling them and moving through the experience of allowing them.

And what I found for myself personally is I used to think I really needed to process everything.

Next time I would say this time of processing is over.

We have much higher frequency to be able to move through our journey,

Our healing,

Our experience of freedom.

So we don't necessarily need to process out everything and analyze it and go through back and forth.

But yes,

To experience it fully.

This is what I feel for myself quite often.

Sometimes I'm able to just drop something or transmute or shift quickly.

And sometimes I really just need to be with it.

Most of the time I need to be with it fully.

Whether that's just welcoming it fully into my heart or fully crying or just allowing myself to just,

You know,

Yell or feel anger fully.

But for me it's definitely that experience of feeling something fully to allow it to dissolve.

As opposed to,

Everything's okay,

I'm happy.

Yes,

We're definitely not promoting this spiritual bypassing experience.

There's no,

Everyone should just be happy here.

That's not what this is about.

Knowing that we are consciousness itself doesn't mean that we are always happy.

Consciousness is just the one who is experiencing all of the emotions.

Whether they be happiness or sadness or something else.

So yes.

Yes,

Jonathan,

It's hard when you have a chronic pain condition.

Yes,

My love.

Yes.

This,

Being in chronic pain can really change what happens in the brain.

And it is a real opportunity,

Real opportunity to engage in this experience.

Because pain,

It kind of brings us back into that identification very strongly.

Yes,

Yes,

My love.

Mark is sharing,

This is connecting to a lot of things coming up recently.

I trust that whatever it's connecting to for you,

Mark,

That it's illuminating for you in whatever way it needs to be.

Whether that's just feeling or something else.

You've shared so many comments,

I'm just trying to get back to them.

Carmen Cita,

Good to be reminded that the negative feelings are not who we are,

Just waves washing through.

Yes.

Yes,

Yes.

Lori,

Yes,

This is an issue for me that I have been trying to work on.

Thank you for discussing.

Ah,

Beautiful,

Beautiful.

Alina,

I'm thinking about people who have lived any kind of abuse.

How could they transcend this resentment?

That's a much,

Much deeper conversation,

My love.

And,

Ah,

For me it's been a journey of all of these practices that we've been speaking to.

Because I am,

I have experienced much abuse and trauma in my life.

It has definitely been this constant reminder and awareness and teaching that I am not my past experiences.

It has been giving myself permission to express fully what it is that I've locked inside of myself,

To allow it to come out.

Sometimes that's easier with someone else who can serve you and hold you in that space of being able to just feel fully what you've locked inside the body.

Forgiveness,

Forgiveness,

Forgiveness,

Forgiveness,

Forgiveness,

Forgiveness,

Forgiveness.

And for many of us who have experienced abuse,

Forgiveness,

It often ends with ourself,

Forgiving ourselves.

There's something that happens quite often where we feel a sense of shame or guilt or just some sense of wrongdoing for having been in and experienced abuse,

Even if we were very,

Very young.

It's just something that happens sometimes.

So practice knowing yourself as more than your experiences.

Practice being present and kind and loving with your body especially.

Practice,

Practice feeling fully.

And also start to have an awareness of how holding on to the past experience of abuse,

The story that we tell ourselves about it,

Start to recognize what that does for you.

Because there's always some benefit when we hold on to it,

Meaning consciously.

Like when I live with,

Many of us say things like my pain,

My abuse,

My trauma,

My sadness,

My depression.

I invite you if you choose,

Stop saying that.

Why make it yours?

Why attach to it and hold it?

Why wear it like a crown?

And there's a reason for that.

We do it because it gives us something.

When it's mine,

It's something.

Maybe we give ourselves permission to rest if we have gone through something painful.

Because many of us don't know how to do that.

But if I recognize that I've gone through something awful,

Then maybe I finally deserve to relax.

Or maybe holding on to that pain or that trauma or that story of it,

I get to live as a victim.

And so I don't have to take risks in my life.

I don't have to take responsibility for my life.

There's so many ways.

And sometimes again it's just that shield of protection that we hold on to it for.

So with all of these self-compassion techniques,

I also always like to invite inquiry.

Okay,

Selena,

If you're holding on to this,

What is it giving you?

How is it serving you to hold on to this?

Because there's some way it's serving me.

I don't say that from a place of judgment like,

Oh,

How's it serving you?

No,

Really,

Some part of me is being served.

So can I go be with that part of myself?

April is sharing that she's feeling anger,

Hurt,

Putting a wall around her heart.

I'm coming back to your comment,

My love,

But it looks like so many of your comments have come in.

It actually just stopped me from getting back to it.

So forgive me,

My love.

I can't actually get back to it.

But I think you wrote something a little later.

I think I saw that as I was moving through.

So we'll come back to that.

Yes,

Christine,

Can you speak more about letting go?

Sounds so easy but can be hard.

Yes.

Yes,

That's very important.

I've been speaking to it,

But I think a lot of it has to do with practicing forgiveness.

And for anyone who missed our conversation on forgiveness,

I have a replay of it here on the app.

I think it has a lot to do with forgiveness,

Forgiving ourselves,

Forgiving others.

And I think for me it has a lot to do with feeling what is,

Feeling what is.

And many of you have heard me share this practice of feel the feelings drop the story.

Feel the feelings drop the story.

Because what we often do is we start to feel something.

And then the mind says,

Why do I feel this way?

And because the mind is so brilliant,

It makes up a story.

Or maybe it is aware of something that we're holding on to.

And so I start to think about the reason why I feel that way.

Why do I feel so angry?

Oh,

It's because of that thing that happened.

And the more that I think about that thing that happened,

The more I feel that emotion.

And then before I know it,

I'm caught in this cycle.

So,

Excuse me.

So giving ourselves this space to feel fully is for me one of the most powerful practices to move into acceptance.

Because if I say,

I just want to forgive,

Or I just want to be healed,

Or I just want this to be over with,

I want to let go of this resentment,

I want to let go of this wall around my heart,

I'm actually resisting.

By being in that space of resisting how I feel in that moment,

I'm actually creating more resistance.

So how can I fully feel whatever pain or fear or resistance even is there?

How can I welcome that into my heart?

How can I welcome that with my breath?

And I may need to just sit with it over and over and over again.

Let the thoughts pass,

They come and they come and they come,

And we just let them pass.

And focus on feeling the body.

Focus on the breath.

And I guarantee,

I'll make a guarantee,

That if,

And this is for each of us,

If you practice regularly feeling fully in your body without telling yourself all the sad and angry and upsetting,

Fearful stories,

Doesn't mean the thoughts won't come,

But we don't focus on them.

If you practice just feeling fully and feeling fully and feeling fully,

You will notice a shift in your life.

You will notice something different.

Maybe a lightness,

A clarity,

A receptiveness.

You may even begin to feel those qualities of the heart more.

Because when I feel anger fully,

Not getting caught in it and staying mad and thinking about all the thoughts,

But when I feel it fully and just let it wash through me,

I'm free on the other side of that because I am available for connection.

It's like if I'm holding on to anger,

We use this the other day,

If I'm holding on to anger,

This is between me and other people.

But when I feel that anger fully,

That thing isn't between me and other people anymore.

When I live in all of that fear and I don't let myself just feel it fully so it can move through me,

It's between me and other people and it's between me and myself.

So the practice of letting go is so much about letting in,

Turning inward,

Rather than fighting,

Turning inward for me,

For me.

Glad you're loving the tangents,

My friends.

My emoji friend,

I think my path for recovery is so much clearer when I can face and name those emotions and experiences that have held me back,

Fear and grief mostly.

Yes,

Sometimes it is helpful.

Sometimes it's helpful because then we can actually face that or be with that.

It's not always necessary,

But it can definitely be helpful.

And the reason I say it's not always necessary is because some of us get caught sometimes saying,

I don't know what I'm feeling,

I don't know why I'm feeling this way and we get caught in it.

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with my life?

Why is this happening?

What's going on?

How do I get out of this?

That's when we turn to things to distract us and to make us feel better because we don't even know how to be with what's going on.

We don't always need to know it or understand it.

Sometimes looking for an answer as to why we feel a certain way is what keeps us caught in the experience.

Sometimes,

Not always.

So just know that yes,

It can be so helpful for us to understand and it's not always necessary.

Sometimes we have even greater access to freedom when we don't overanalyze why we think we feel something.

Because often what we're feeling is related to something completely different.

Not always though.

Not always.

Thank you for your donations,

My loves.

I'm supposed to say something at the beginning of our sessions about donating and I'm just so grateful for your presence.

Thank you for your donations.

Thank you for your monetary support for our time together.

From me,

For Insight Timer.

Oh great Rev,

I'm so glad.

Patrick,

Quote by Young Pueblo is an invitation to healing for me.

It says,

I kept running away from the darkness until I understood that in it I would find my freedom.

Yes,

Exactly.

That darkness,

You could even say is just a part of us.

For any of us who have done inner healing journeys or maybe inner child work,

When we go in to find some part of us that's in pain,

It's like a monster is there waiting.

This creature or this person who's so upset,

They don't even want to look at you.

They're just ready with a knife or something.

We have this part of us inside that seems so dark,

But when we just sit with that part of us,

We're more present with that part of us,

It's revealed that it's just part of us that maybe didn't feel supported or loved or maybe that we abandoned.

And as we are there in our presence,

In our kindness,

In our caring,

All of that seemingly darkness dissolves,

Or what seems dark fades away.

And we see that hurt part of us.

Okay,

We'll get to a couple more comments and then we'll complete for today.

Yes,

Anita,

For transcending trauma,

It's so important to practice acceptance,

Compassion,

And forgiveness.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh,

Great,

Mark,

You're reading the Saima book.

Wonderful and wonderful.

Working with a counselor is so important with trauma.

Yes,

It can be so helpful because sometimes we don't know how to see our way out of it.

Yes.

Some of us have spontaneous freeing experiences and sometimes it's very helpful to have someone who can guide us for that part of us that's still stuck in the trauma.

Richard,

I want to start.

.

.

Oh,

My Richard comment got my love.

I want to start liking people again instead of getting upset about every negative comment.

Ah,

Yes.

Yes,

Darling.

My invitation there,

My love,

Is just to keep practicing being kind with you.

Practice being forgiving with yourself.

Practice acknowledging yourself for how hard you try.

When we live with that depth of taking things personally or getting upset by others constantly,

It's a reflection of our relationship with ourself.

And usually how in some way we are rejecting ourself or judging ourself.

And so we experience it through others.

Whether it's the fear of rejection from others because we're already rejecting ourself or the absolute annoyance when people say things because we're already judging our own self.

So,

Yes,

Just practicing.

Practicing being with you,

My love.

Keep coming.

Keep coming here.

Let us nourish that place inside that feels angry or ashamed or afraid or alone.

Because when we really practice that cultivation of the relationship with our own self,

We're not impacted by others in the same way.

It doesn't mean that things don't feel uncomfortable at times or we might not have an emotional reaction sometimes.

But it's just not the same.

When we awaken to the wholeness and the fullness of who we are inherently,

There's nothing missing in any of us.

There's nothing missing in you,

My love.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

There's nothing that could make you more worthy.

And I'm speaking for each of us.

There is nothing that could make you more worthy.

There's nothing you could do.

There is nothing you could say.

There's no action you could take that would make you more worthy.

You want to know why?

Because you are worthy beyond measure already.

You can't do anything to add to that because it's who you are.

It's the fullness of who you already are.

And it's just the perception,

The beliefs,

The ideas that make us think any differently.

It's as if I'm going to do my best with one of my off-the-cuff analogies.

Imagine that this glass is completely full.

This glass is completely full to the brim.

Completely full.

But because of your view,

Because of.

.

.

Maybe somebody told you that the glass is only partially full,

Or maybe your beliefs about the world make you think that the glass is only full.

So you actually see that the water only comes up to here.

It's totally up to the top.

But for some reason,

Through your eyes,

It only comes up to here.

We are already whole.

Completely overflowing with worthiness and fullness.

And it's just this ignorant perception.

Ignorant meaning we just don't know any better yet.

This ignorant perception that makes us think it's only filled up to here.

You're so worthy,

My love.

And if hearing me say those words makes you feel uncomfortable,

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're so worthy.

And I'm speaking to each and every one.

You're so invaluable.

Oh,

I love you so much,

Richard.

My heels,

My love,

I saw you ask about what makes someone doubt themselves.

There can be many reasons.

We don't need to understand.

There can be so many reasons why we doubt ourselves.

It could be how our parents spoke to us,

How our parents treated their own self,

What we learned in school.

If we.

.

.

You know,

Many of us,

We don't learn well in the traditional educational system.

So if we're behind in our schoolwork,

If we're not learning our lessons the way everyone else in the class,

It's very easy to believe there's something wrong with us.

We hear things like,

You're stupid,

You're this,

You're that.

There are so many reasons why we can experience doubt.

And I would say it's not necessarily important to know why.

We don't need to know everything to be able to choose something new or to transform our experience.

I'll say that again,

Because I know many of us get caught in the analyzation.

I have to understand this completely so I can heal it.

I've got to know exactly what's happening so I can stop it from happening.

You don't need to know everything.

You don't need to analyze things to death.

Things can shift in a moment with your perception,

With your kindness,

With your love,

With your acceptance.

And of course,

With practice,

Taking new actions each day,

Choosing new thoughts that serve you,

That support you,

That uplift you,

That encourage you.

We don't need to understand why we doubt.

If you're aware that you doubt,

You have the opportunity,

Each of us has the opportunity in every moment to choose,

To choose to continue doubting or to choose trying something new.

And it doesn't mean that the doubts won't be right there.

It doesn't mean that you won't hear the doubts constantly as you're choosing something new,

But you have the choice.

Okay,

Well,

Selena said I can choose something new.

If I don't want to live in doubt anymore,

Then what could I choose that's different?

What if I was grateful to myself today?

What if I acknowledged myself today for something about who I am or something that I accomplished?

What if I acknowledged myself for something that seems really ridiculous and silly,

Like getting out of bed or brushing my teeth?

What if I acknowledged myself just for that?

What if I practiced seeing all the ways in which I'm awesome rather than continually feeding the doubting thoughts?

And again,

It doesn't mean that the doubting thoughts are going to magically disappear,

But we can retrain the brain.

Sometime back,

Not very long ago,

Scientists thought that when you were an adult,

You couldn't change the brain,

But we found that neuroplasticity is possible even as adults.

The ability to change the brain is available to each of us,

No matter our age.

And these patterns of thought and patterns of emotion and even sometimes physical pain that we experience is because of what's happening in the brain and because we have gone to these patterns and habits again and again and again and again.

Every day you've thought that doubting thought.

Every day you've felt some feeling of anger or sadness.

We go back to these experiences and the neural pathways are very strong.

So to create a new experience,

Choose something new and focus on that.

And you'll go back to the old.

Focus on the new.

Focus on the new.

Focus on the new.

Keep turning towards that which you are wanting and you're retraining your brain.

You're retraining your experience of life.

I love that faith.

If you think you may be lost in darkness,

Look again.

You may be the light.

And I would even say you are the light.

You are the light.

As Rumi says,

You are the love that you seek.

You are the light you seek.

You are that light.

It is who you are.

Oh,

Beautiful faith.

Every time I'm able to attend one of your live events,

My well of self-love deepens more,

Becoming more and more bottomless,

Boundless and unconditional,

A well of abundant self-love.

Beautiful,

My love.

Beautiful,

Beautiful,

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Margaret,

When do you do this again?

Great question,

Margaret.

So my next live is this Wednesday at 6 p.

M.

New York time.

And I'm so thrilled because we're starting a five-week live series on awakening the mystic's heart.

And this is going to be a deep dive into cultivating and experiencing that fullness,

That wholeness of who we are.

Deep dive.

So looking forward to it.

Beautiful,

My love.

Beautiful,

Beautiful,

Beautiful.

Yes,

This.

Yes,

Recognizing,

Feeling triggered is so good.

Yes,

I love.

What did you say?

You said,

You said it wasn't easy before,

But now you do it.

Your comment flew away.

But yes,

It is a gift.

Ma,

My beloved ma,

If you have widescreen view on.

Yes,

The teaching of if someone triggers you,

Easier said than done,

But it's a great practice.

If someone triggers you,

Be so grateful.

Be so grateful to them because they are showing you something inside of yourself.

And I would add on showing you something inside of yourself that is asking for attention,

That is asking for healing.

So be so grateful when someone triggers you because they are just showing you,

You.

And maybe a part of you that you weren't able to see otherwise.

Being triggered is really,

Truly a gift because we are seeing a blind spot within ourself when we are triggered.

And then we have the opportunity to create more freedom,

Becoming aware of that blind spot and going in and being with that part of ourself.

Hello my beloved Rosita.

I don't have this one on the schedule again,

But I am recording it.

So the sound quality is never as good as something that is pre-recorded.

Or,

What am I trying to say,

Something that is not alive.

But yes,

I have recorded this today so I can upload it.

Hmm,

Hmm.

That's a trajectory that sometimes people copy and paste questions so they don't,

Oh no,

Tea.

Tea shed so they don't scroll away.

That's a good idea my love.

However,

There are so many comments that come in that I miss them.

But I do like that.

I do like that.

Thank you.

Ah,

Marine.

Thank you Rosita,

My love.

Ah,

Marine,

As I said,

I am going to post the replay on the app so it will be available to you for that.

Ah.

Beautiful my loves.

Thank you.

Thank you for being here.

Oh,

I wanted to read this before we go.

I found this.

I have no idea where it came from or who wrote these affirmations.

But,

It's something that my mom had for me from many years ago and she just gave it to me the other day.

It's probably like 10 or 20 years old now.

More than that.

More than 10.

Anyway,

It doesn't matter how old it is.

These are affirmations.

Somebody wrote them.

I don't know who.

But I really love for us to read a few and just take them in together before we complete.

So,

If you wish,

You can have the eyes open or if you wish to close the eyes.

Either way,

Maybe place a hand over your heart if you choose.

And just repeat after me.

Let's start by just saying our name to our own self.

So just say your name to yourself.

So I would say Selena.

Say your name to yourself.

I love you.

I really,

Really love you.

There are great experiences coming our way today.

I am showered with abundance,

Blessings and good thoughts all day long.

I am showered with abundance,

Blessings and good thoughts all day long.

I forgive,

Accept and trust myself.

I forgive,

Accept and trust myself.

I love life and life loves me.

Life really,

Really loves me.

I am healthy,

Wealthy and free.

I see clear water flowing through my body and washing away all negative thoughts,

Disease and impurities.

All is well.

I have time for everything I need to do today.

I love my body and my body loves me.

All is well.

Everything is working out for my highest good.

All is well.

Everything is working out for my highest good.

All is well.

Everything is working out for my highest good.

So let us just take these last few moments together in the grace of light,

The grace of love and the grace of practicing acceptance with ourselves,

Of practicing compassion,

Of practicing inquiry.

I cherish you.

Thank you for your presence.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Reviews

Beautiful,thank you so kindly for that ❤
Namaste 🙏🏼 🌺

Beautifully said Selena that really resonated thank you oh so much. ♥️♥️♥️

Thank you, dear Selena for uploading this live class. It was a lovely way to start my Sunday, a good practice for attending to my emotions and their feelings in my body and a good reminder that we are not our thoughts and emotions 💚 It reminded me of Master’s Shinzen formulas:
Suffering = (emotional/physical) discomfort + resistance
Purification = (emotional/physical) discomfort + equanimity
Cultivating equanimity is the key to purification and healing, and learning to feel into emotions and sit with them until they dissolve creates resilience.
As usually, love your energy, your softness and your voice😇☀️💚warm hugs from berlin