Surviving Divorce And Break-Ups

This is a gentle practice for anyone going through a divorce or a break-up. Utilize the natural healing properties of your breath to release stagnant emotions and help foster self-love, self-compassion, and resiliance. You can do this.

Transcript

Hi,

I'm Sam and this is a meditation about managing your thoughts and feelings surrounding either a recent breakup or ongoing divorce.

This meditation is best completed either lying down or in as comfortable a position as you can manage.

Try to keep your back as straight as possible with your fingers interlaced and placed across either your heart or your solar plexus.

Take a moment to settle.

Try to feel your breath as ragged as it might be.

Do not resist any emotions.

Let them come.

Invite them in.

Let them swirl and churn.

Make sure that your breath is coming in and out.

Do not let them hitch or resist.

Start by taking a big breath in.

Focus on the physical sensation of the breath.

Release.

Take another big breath.

Feel the life force coming into your body,

The oxygen nourishing your cells.

And release.

One more big breath.

Feel the breath again.

This is life.

This is endurance.

This is hope.

Release.

Let your breath return to normal.

Continue to feel it cycling in and out.

Do not let it hitch or constrain.

Your life may seem really dark right now.

The hopes and dreams that you have had with this other person have ended.

You may be struggling to find meaning,

Hope,

Or the will to carry on.

It may feel like the rug has been yanked out from underneath you,

Or it may feel like a part of you has died.

It may hurt like murder.

All of these are valid emotions.

All of these are an unfortunate part of the experience.

And know this.

All of these emotions are going to pass.

I know what you are thinking.

There is no way.

This is too much.

This is unsurvivable.

Those thoughts come from a place in your mind that wants to hold on.

To cling to the past like a life raft.

We tend to see our partners with rose colored glasses and make them into more than they are.

We tend to fixate on the positive aspects of a relationship.

The good times,

As it were.

As a means of creating a dream and an idolized future.

This is what you are actually mourning.

And this is what is tearing you up.

Regardless of whether you think it was all your fault or not,

It takes two to tango.

There has rarely been a relationship in human history that ended solely because of one person.

This means that you are mourning a relationship that ended for a reason.

Whether it was a loss of trust,

Respect,

Communication,

Intimacy,

Or just a difference in priorities.

Your relationship has ended because two people have seen,

Either directly or indirectly,

That they aren't walking along the same path.

You aren't meant to be together.

It's not your fault.

Everything is going to be alright and these emotions are going to pass.

Often times we feel like if we only had a chance to say goodbye,

To say all of those things that we wished we could say,

To simply do something different,

Then we wouldn't feel that way.

But this is a logical fallacy.

We are simply seeing the person as we want to see them,

As a version of themselves that most likely doesn't exist in reality.

As someone whose mind we can change,

Given different circumstances,

Or a past we could change if we just did something different.

We want them to be who we want and need them to be.

We are simply mourning the loss of the hole in ourselves that we thought had been filled.

This is why we continue to hold on.

Our minds are hard wired to dream,

To hope,

To progress towards the future.

And in this moment you are brutally reminded that there is but one path to this transcendent goal.

And that's your love for yourself.

So I want you to breathe.

Deep long breaths with slow releases.

I did the first version of this meditation by myself,

I could barely achieve this due to my tears.

But breathe deeply we must.

Let the tears flow.

Let the ragged breaths and the seemingly bottomless pain turn and boil.

Sit with it.

Just breathe my friend.

Breathe into that hopeless despair.

It was not your fault.

Everything is going to be alright.

These emotions are going to pass.

I want you to wrap your arms around yourself.

Keep breathing as deeply as possible.

This is the start of your healing.

Because what you have been missing is right here,

Right now.

And that is the unwavering,

Indomitable love for yourself.

You are here,

You are now,

You are going to get through this.

Breathe my friend.

Find the pain that you are feeling in your body.

And it's usually in my solar plexus shock with the Manipura.

Wherever it is though,

I want you to find it,

Isolate it,

And imagine it as a dark blue ball.

Once you've got it,

I want you to breathe into this ball of pain.

Direct as much of your attention into it as you are able.

Let it soften.

Next I want you to imagine this ball of blue energy and pain traveling up through your spine towards your throat chakra.

Let's sit there as you breathe.

With every in-breath,

Imagine life force,

Vitality,

And hope entering your body.

With every out-breath,

Imagine this blue ball of pain leaving your body and mixing back into the universe around you.

Imagine yourself letting it go.

Take your time and just breathe.

Give yourself a hug.

Keep breathing.

Give yourself the love and compassion that you need.

Everything is going to be alright and these emotions are going to pass.

This recording will carry on for a while.

Take your time.

Hang in there my friend.

Breathe in and do it again.

Breathe really clearly.

You you you

Reviews

Amazing, resonated so well. Needed this boost of hope.
Thank you, thank you

Thank you, I had a great release I did not know I was holding in.

This helped calm my anxious mind. I cried and released some sadness I had been holding. I will save this for whenever I need some encouragement!

So helpful in softening the feelings of guilt. Thank you 🩵

Very comforting and kind words. Also a great visual. Thank you.

Thank you... It was a hopeful message that the pain will ease and that this is an opportunity to refocus on loving myself and allow new experiences into my life. 🙏

Never come across a meditation like this before and I thank you so very very much I will be using this on a daily basis until I am healed blessings to you and thank you so much from the bottom of my heart

Very helpful. Helps me release these unbearable feelings though I at times feel i can't survive them. Thank You 🙏

Thank you. This is helpful in a terrible time for me.
I will use it regularly, but I hope there will be a time when I don't have to.
💔

Beautiful words, thank you from the bottom of my broken heart 💔

Very helpful

Emotional and healing, thank you 🙏🏾

Thank you

So special. Thank you for expressing so eloquently the despair I am presently feeling. It is so comforting to know that someone understands. That I am not alone and that this too shall pass.

Thank you so much for making a meditation specific to divorce (or break ups), especially the associated grief for the twin losses of both the past relationship and the imagined future together. I wonder if you also have (or might be inspired to make!) one that focuses more on all the anxiety and uncertainty that surrounds the new *independent* future, and/or one on the anger and animosity that may come out in a particularly contentious divorce? There are so many emotions to honor throughout this process! ❤️‍🔥💔💙❤️‍🩹