Hello and welcome.
My name is Nathania and I really appreciate you being here with me today.
Before we begin our mindfulness practice together today,
I'd like to share a personal story.
As I entered my 40s,
My anxiety had quieted to a slight hum,
Kind of like a mosquito buzzing occasionally near my ear,
Annoying,
But not all-consuming as it had been in my youth.
However,
I began to notice that as I transitioned into perimenopause,
I noticed a dramatic shift.
Perhaps it was the hormonal changes,
But my anxiety levels began to rise and the energy required to manage it grew.
Frightened and fearful thoughts invaded my mind once more and I struggled to separate myself from them.
One afternoon,
It all came to a head.
I crumpled on the kitchen floor,
Engulfed by a panic attack.
My mind was a whirlwind of racing thoughts and my body felt like it was on fire.
Every nerve ending was alive with anxiety.
I was overwhelmed by a profound sense of loss as if all of my strength,
The strength I'd worked so hard to build was slipping away,
Leaving me utterly defenseless.
My husband,
He heard me collapse and came to my side without saying a word.
He dropped to the ground and embraced me.
He wrapped his arms fully and firmly around my body that had curled into the fetus position.
And that moment I broke wide open,
Shaking violently in his arms,
Allowing all of the pain that I had been trying to contain with such control to flow out of me.
Once my tears subsided,
My wails quieted,
I felt tender,
Fragile and scared,
But I also began to feel more like myself again.
He gently helped me up and asked if I needed anything and I shook my head,
Grateful just for his presence.
While I was disappointed to find myself at such a low point again,
I knew.
I knew I would rise just as I have countless times before.
I scheduled a meeting with my therapist,
Reminded of such a valuable lesson.
My mental health is a journey.
It has no set arrival point.
There is no cure.
There is simply the ebb and flow.
And I am so grateful for all of the work I have done,
Not because I believe that I must cure myself,
That this must go away completely,
But because I can now recognize it and rise despite it.
And that's why I sit here with you today,
A gentle reminder for whoever needs to hear it,
No matter how much work we put in,
The ebb and flow will continue.
My experience though,
Is that despite still having highs and lows,
Those highs become higher and those lows don't feel as low anymore,
But the ebb and flow,
It's still there.
And that's why I'm motivated more than ever to sit here with you now,
To simply ground in our bodies,
To breathe,
To practice and strengthen our ability to ride out whatever storm comes our way.
Never in control of what happens outside of us,
But always able to notice,
To shift,
To change how we react,
How we respond,
How we feel.
And so I invite you to join me in a seated position,
One that feels comfortable in your body.
And cross your legs,
Allow your hands to rest gently on your thighs,
And if it feels comfortable to do so,
You can drop your chin to your chest,
Feel the length at the back of your neck.
Maybe close your eyes or soften your gaze.
You don't need to change your breathing yet,
But I invite you to notice it.
Together we breathe in.
Together we breathe out.
Cool inhale through the nose,
Warm,
Gentle exhale through the mouth.
Softly breathe in.
Gently breathe out.
In together,
Open,
Fill up,
Expand,
And then let it go,
Slow,
Slow,
Slow,
Longer than the inhale.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
Continue with this mindful breath,
Feeling into each inhale and softening through each exhale.
Noticing if any urgency creeps in as my guidance drops away,
And trusting that you have the ability to guide your breath,
To lovingly hold space for you,
To notice what you need,
To soothe yourself.
Notice if you're waiting for me to tell you what to do,
And simply come back,
Back to you,
Back to your breath,
Reaffirming your ability to breathe,
To notice,
To hold,
To love,
And to care for you as you continue to breathe,
As you allow that trust to build.
Feel a gentle ease settle over your whole physical self,
The shoulders soften down away from the ears,
The belly unbuckles,
The thighs feel grounded,
Rooted in place,
And it's not just telling yourself that you're here for you,
It is feeling,
Feeling the sensation that blossoms within you as you begin to believe,
Believe that you haven't left your side,
Believe that you have what it takes,
Remembering once more the strength that lies within you.
There is a shift from thinking to believing.
What does it feel like in your body to believe that you have what it takes to care for you,
To love you,
To hold you when you need it most?
Find your breath in your body again,
Together we inhale,
And together we sigh it out.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
Notice once more that this journey that is mental health,
It has no set arrival point,
It is simply an ebb and flow,
And together when we practice and strengthen our ability to show up for ourselves with love and compassion and kindness,
We strengthen the tools we have available within us to navigate any storm,
And soon those highs become higher and those lows don't feel so low anymore.
It is from here that I express my deep gratitude and love for you.
Thank you for practicing with me today.
