Hello,
My name is Sadie,
I am a sobriety mentor,
Yoga and meditation teacher,
And your fellow on the sober journey,
And today's talk will be about stinking thinking.
Today you'll need a pen and paper,
So go ahead and pause the recording to get that.
From day one of my sobriety,
I was told that if I wanted to stay sober,
I had to change my thinking.
Whether you attend 12-step meetings or Buddhist-inspired programs like Recovery Dharma,
Refuge Recovery,
Smart Recovery,
Or any other type of group,
This fact holds true.
In yoga,
We call this stinking thinking,
Samskaras.
The key to disarming samskaras is to first acknowledge them.
We often uncover our unhelpful thinking habits throughout the course of step work or therapy or other outside help.
Samskaras often get encapsulated as a belief at a very early age,
When you had an experience in which you received an unhelpful message from an outside source.
So that could be a caregiver,
A friend,
Someone at school,
Society,
Messages you heard in the media.
In order to survive,
You organized a strategy around that belief.
Here's an example.
So-and-so didn't stick around,
So that must mean I'm not lovable.
In order to avoid being abandoned again,
I'm going to push people away.
I'll leave you before you have a chance to leave me.
A lifetime of reinforcing this belief carves deep pathways of I'm unlovable into the brain.
The brain communicates this message to the body,
And it's felt as tightness,
Tension,
Or sometimes even chronic pain.
I had horrible stomach issues from the time I was a young girl,
Like 6 years old,
Up until I started using,
And then they subsided.
When I got clean,
They returned.
How funny is that,
Right?
I'm happy to report that several years into recovery,
I have experienced great relief in my stomach.
The goal of today's practice,
And we will do a little practice,
Is to identify a samskara and where you store it in your body.
First,
Consider the following questions and write your responses down.
You may need to pause the recording until something emerges.
What belief about myself do I still hold on to that doesn't serve my recovery,
Serenity,
Or personal growth?
Where do I feel this in my body?
Let me just say here that it took me years to reconnect with my body in a way that would allow me to answer this question,
So if you don't have a felt sense of where this belief takes hold physically,
You can use the area of the heart for now.
Now put your pen and paper down and close your eyes.
Bring your awareness to the part of your body you identified.
What does it feel like?
Some examples of felt senses are tight,
Hard,
Stuck,
Contracted,
Heavy,
Painful,
Fuzzy,
Soft,
Open.
Imagine the energy in this body part as a dark smoke.
What color is it?
Now turn your palms face up.
Relax your face and your hands.
With your inner gaze,
See two orbs of warm healing light floating in your palms.
As you breathe in through your nose,
See and feel the light entering the nostrils and making its way to the dark parts,
The dark smoke.
Exhale out your mouth with pursed lips as if you're gently blowing out a candle and see a bit of the dark smoke leave your body.
Breathe in the light through your nose,
Watch it swirl through your body to scoop up the dark smoke and release it out through your mouth.
Begin to release the breath pattern now and draw your attention back to your hands.
There you hold the keys of the kingdom,
Your very own healing light.
Keep your eyes closed and your palms face up,
Soft,
And slowly bring your hands up to heart level.
Pause there,
Palms facing the heart,
See and feel the light in your heart.
Bring them up to your face,
Pause,
Notice the healing light of your palms right over your face and now bring them up over your head as if you were pouring a bowl of warm liquid.
Turn your palms face down and slowly draw your hands down the sides of your body,
Feeling the warm,
Soothing energy of light encapsulating your whole being from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes.
Rest your hands in whatever way you like,
Feel the soft vibration of light surrounding your whole body.
Take a deep inhale through your nose and a final exhale out your mouth to release any last bit of stuckness that may still be holding on.
As you feel ready,
Start to wiggle your fingers and your toes and gently blink your eyes back to open.
Now gently into your day,
May your thoughts be peaceful,
May your words be kind especially toward yourself and may your heart be full of joy and warmth.
