Heart Meditation: Metta — Technology For Conditioning

Being kind is more than a word or intent - it is a practice. This teaching offers a 10 minute explanation of Metta practice (Loving Kindness) followed by a 30 minute guided meditation. Recorded live at an IMCW retreat.

Transcript

So,

Good afternoon.

I have an offering this afternoon on a guided heart practice.

And my focus today is on metta.

I'd like to say a few things about it first and then offer a guided meditation for us to practice together.

So,

Metta is one of four forms of love that the Buddha taught.

And those are expressed in the forms of the Brahmaviharas,

Metta being loving kindness,

And there's also compassion,

Sympathetic joy,

And equanimity.

And metta is a Pali word for friendliness.

Basically,

It's an intentional offering of goodwill.

It's the heart's natural desire to offer kindness.

It's the impulse of the heart to offer friendliness and kindness to self and to others.

And this practice just kind of invites us to touch into our nature in this way.

It's considered a quality of heart that holds all things without qualification,

Where nothing's really left out of the equation.

So it's not that kind of friendliness or love that we think about where,

You know,

It's good until they do something that rubs us in the wrong direction.

Then we kind of cut the cord.

But it's more of a boundless heart,

Like the high noon sun that shines on all things.

Dr.

Maya Angelou describes it this way.

She says,

Love has no boundaries.

It jumps hurdles,

Leaps fences,

Penetrates walls,

And arrives at its destination full of hope.

So this kind of heart quality that is generous and boundless and indiscriminate that we're looking at when we think about metta.

Another way I think about it sometimes is as a technology.

This practice is a bit of a technology.

It's like a software upgrade that we pop into the conditioning of our hardwired minds.

And because it's a technology,

We have a learning curve that we have to go through to get it,

To get the momentum down to where we can really use the technology and understand it well.

We know how to use it because we've practiced.

So I like to play with it that way,

That it's a software that we put into the hard wiring of our conditioning,

Our habitual mind.

Another way I like to think about metta is that it's more atmospheric,

That it's kind of like controlling the climate.

We're setting the thermostat to kindness and warmth.

It is our intention to have an atmosphere so that whatever arises in the space of our heart and mind is within this atmosphere of kindness and warmth.

And that's what we're doing in this practice.

We're kind of creating an environment that loves whatever comes to our heart and mind.

Metta is a simple practice,

But it's not so easy.

It's simple because there's basically,

In the tradition,

In the Theravadan tradition,

There's basically four phrases.

May I be safe,

May I be happy,

May I be healthy,

And may I live with ease.

Simple,

Right?

But it's not easy because we don't always feel this way.

We don't always feel loving.

We don't always feel warm and kind.

So it's important that we know that this practice is,

When we do this practice,

We're talking to our mind and heart.

And we're inviting,

It's an aspiration of heart and mind when we give these phrases,

When we say these phrases.

It's also useful in the beginning to start with a place of where you know love,

Where you've been touched by a moment,

A glimpse,

A second,

A story,

A memory of someone where you've been really felt a sense of kindness from them.

We start with that knowing because it's an experience that we've had and we know what that feels like.

So I like to begin the practice from a place of knowing what friendliness and kindness actually feels like.

And try to stay close in to that place with these phrases so that it's not that mechanical way of just saying this without feeling something real for you.

So we're training the mind and body to live in the heart through the practice of metta.

And I've found that in doing this practice,

Especially in terms of sending metta to myself,

I've deepened my capacity to care for other people.

Not so much for them directly,

But again,

Because of the atmosphere,

Because of the fact that I free myself up through this practice,

That I have more capacity to be with the chaos and difficulties that I encounter with other people in other situations.

And metta can be like composting.

It may feel like you're not doing much when you're doing the practice,

But then you look around and you've created this rich soil,

This stuff that,

You know,

Was a mess at first and now it's actually seeding a quality of loveliness that surprises you and enriches the things that we may eat and enjoy later.

So it's nourishing in that way and it has its own rhythm and momentum that has its gifts seeding over time.

So in that sense,

It's a purification process.

It creates enough warmth and openness from the inside out that we can recognize in our practice when we're open and closed,

When we start to shrink,

And when we free ourselves up,

We can feel the experience of that in an atmosphere like this.

We know when we're gripped and also when we let go through this practice.

And the other thing that we can do with metta is when we are having a very difficult time with our mind and our thoughts and our body pains or whatever we're having,

We just can't quite get off of it,

We can offer metta to ourselves.

We can offer metta to the struggle itself.

May I be kind to myself in this moment of struggle.

May I be with this struggle with ease.

We can use metta towards our own relief.

So the key in the practice is to take your time,

To use your entire body when you use the phrases,

To not just have it be voiced but to experience your words through your whole body,

To stay in touch with the goodness of your intention,

Your intention in offering the phrases,

The aspiration of your heart when you're offering them.

Pause often in the practice so that you can feel what's happening,

Not just speak what's happening.

And allow yourself to feel the phrases as well as the spaces in between them,

The places of awareness itself.

So let's practice together.

I invite you to position yourself so that you're comfortable as you can be.

Position your body so that it's not as much of a distraction as it can be.

And checking into the body and a gentle scan from the top of the body down through the body to the feet.

Just inviting awareness along the way.

Taking your time here.

Feeling the body from the inside and feeling out the body with awareness.

Noticing your contact with the cushion you're sitting on,

The bottoms of your feet,

Your hands,

Your lips,

Your eyelids,

And relaxing your awareness here.

Softening on the inside.

Letting the belly be soft and the hips.

Allowing the chest and heart area to soften.

Letting your breath be free.

Experiencing its movement without controlling it.

May I be at ease right here,

Right now.

Recall a moment of loving presence.

It's not so much about recalling a person,

But a moment of loving presence.

With a person perhaps,

But not necessarily.

See if you can recall the details of that moment,

Especially how you felt right here and right now.

Taking in the joy of that moment,

The well wishes.

Notice how you're touched by this recollection.

See if you can feel the happiness and joy being exchanged.

Notice any softening or relaxing that occurs.

Let yourself really enjoy this recollection.

Really settle into it.

Really taking your time and letting every cell be bathed by this recollection.

Allowing whatever goodness you're feeling right now,

However large or small,

Just allow it to spread ever so gently throughout the body.

Relax in this awareness.

Now allow whatever images or a person you might have had in mind,

Allow that to fade.

But maintain the essence of the loving kindness that was exchanged.

Allow yourself to just know this kindness.

Let the body and mind know as thoughts arise.

Let's give your attention to this essence of kindness.

And I'll offer these phrases.

Just take them lightly.

Repeat them if you like,

Or you can modify them.

Just allow yourself to use the phrases to feel your own sense of connection to the truth of them or the aspiration of them.

May I be safe from inner and outer harm.

May I be safe.

May I be healthy and strong.

Regardless of my mental or physical challenges.

May I be healthy and strong.

May I be happy and content.

May I be happy and content.

May I live with ease of well-being.

May I live with ease.

With this breath,

With the next.

Just repeat the phrases and experience the good intention that is behind them.

Stay close to yourself in this practice if you can.

You're talking to your body and your heart in this practice.

Create phrases that resonate with you.

May I live with an open heart.

May I welcome joy and tenderness.

May I welcome joy and tenderness.

Resting in awareness with ease and kindness.

May whatever blocks my heart be dissolved.

May I be a good friend to myself.

May I be free from suffering.

Reviews

Thank you for teaching on metta. You provided such a fertile place to start the “composting” — to understand what I’m aiming for in this meditation. I really appreciate what you said about metta being a software upgrade for our hardwired conditioning. So helpful. Thank you.

Such a wise gentle woman and a beautiful embodied teaching 🙏

This was a wonderful practice and exploration of Metta. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

This is an in depth and heart connected approach to metta. I highly recommend it for first time practitioners to experienced ones.

I enjoyed the gentle reminders focused on the metta tenets. I will definitely listen again.

I usually have music in guided mediations but this one i really enjoyed!

A deliberate, thoughtful introduction to Metta. My favorite. Thank you!

That was quite powerful, working on my relationships and it is having a dramatic effect on me and it can only do more good for the people around me. Thanks for sharing and sending my love your way ❤️🕊️💐

Thank you very much!
This is something we all really need. Great conditioning technology! I am grateful and happy to practising it!

Leaves me so quiet inside, circulating love throughout my body, seeing thru the eyes of my heart.

Thank you Ruth, as a Mindfulness Teacher in UK I can assure you that I carry your inspiration forward to the students and share your kindness and wisdom with them. Deep appreciation for these offerings 🙏

Great feeling of self love and peace after this meditation. Thank you 🙏

Just lovely. I really like the metaphor of the compost heap

Your voice is so calming and your tone is so warm. Thank you!

On these troubled times some very powerful words and intentions to make safe grounding
Thank you
Namesta

fantastic! feel warmer and lighter after this meditation. thank you 🙏🏻

This meditation was so kind. May I be a good friend to myself. May I be free from suffering.

This gave me a fresh perspective on metta. Sweet and lovely. Thank you.

This brings me such peace and joy, thank you Ruth for your wisdom and gentleness. Much love to you 💜 🤍 💜

A delicious body centered Metta practice that centers around the Self. Supportive, guided and gentle, Ruth King is a radiant One.