Hi,
I'm Rod Jans,
A trained spiritual director,
Retreat leader,
And coach.
I'm so glad that you're here.
In this meditation,
We'll explore the tendency we all have to assign blame,
Whether to people,
Situations,
Or even ourselves,
And how we can shift from fear and division toward openness and compassion.
Blame is a protective reflex,
An attempt to make sense out of discomfort.
But if we stay in blame,
We cut ourselves off from more profound understanding,
From connection,
And ultimately from love.
Today we'll slow down,
Breathe,
And listen deeply to what's beneath our reactions.
As we begin,
Find a comfortable place to sit.
Let your hands rest naturally.
If you'd like,
Close your eyes,
Or if you prefer,
Just soften your gaze.
Relax your face,
Jaw,
Neck,
And shoulders.
Relax your chest.
Be aware of your breath.
Take a gentle breath in,
Hold it,
And slowly exhale.
Take a deep breath in,
Hold it,
And slowly exhale.
One more time.
Take a deep breath in,
Hold it,
And slowly exhale.
Now let your breath return to its normal rhythm.
Once again,
Relax and watch your breath.
Bring to mind a recent situation where you found yourself blaming someone or something.
It was probably a time where you felt frustrated,
Upset,
Or hurt.
It might be personal or something happening in the world around you.
As something comes to mind,
There's no need to judge your reaction.
Just gently hold it in your awareness.
I often feel like that's enough.
Just hold these things as they arise.
Let them arise in our awareness.
But for today,
Let's ask a few self-inquiry questions and sit with our answers and responses to these questions.
So question number one is,
Where in my life do I assign blame instead of sitting with discomfort?
Notice if there's a tendency to look for a source of fault rather than staying with what you're feeling.
Where in my life do I assign blame instead of sitting with discomfort?
Question number two is,
What fears might be driving my tendency to blame others?
Are you afraid of uncertainty,
Of being wrong,
Of losing control?
Let the answer arise naturally.
What fears might be driving my tendency to blame others?
Question number three is,
How can I shift from blame to curiosity and compassion?
Instead of asking who's at fault,
Can you be open and curious about what's happening?
What's going on beneath the surface?
How can I shift from blame to curiosity and compassion?
There's nothing to fix in this moment.
Just let the question settle.
You don't need to force an answer.
Simply notice what arises and let it be.
Take another deep breath in and hold it.
And exhale fully.
Now imagine softening and accepting whatever emotions are present.
You don't have to change them.
Just accept them and soften.
Imagine yourself widening the lens,
Seeing more of the picture,
And gently opening to a deeper understanding of what's going on.
If you feel ready,
Silently set this intention with me.
May I move through the world with curiosity,
Openness,
And compassion.
One more time.
May I move through the world with curiosity,
Openness,
And compassion.
Take one last deep,
Nourishing breath in and hold it.
And let it go.
When you feel ready,
Gently bring your awareness back to the space around you.
Wiggle your fingers and your toes.
If your eyes were closed,
Of course,
Open them.
Appreciate that you took this time to pause,
Reflect,
And to listen.
The world needs us to respond with love rather than fear.
And it starts right here with us in moments like this.
Thank you for practicing with me today.
Take good care.
