Welcome and thank you for listening.
This meditation was inspired by Dr.
Richard's work with IFS,
Internal Family Systems,
And his newest book,
There Are No Bad Parts.
I was inspired to create these recordings of the exercises included in the book because I found them to be incredibly rich and even more profound when I can listen to them and turn them into a meditation versus just reading them and intellectualizing about them.
I hope you find them helpful and if you are interested in learning more about Internal Family Systems,
I encourage you to check out Dr.
Richard Schwartz's book,
There Are No Bad Parts.
Dilemma Meditation.
Once again,
I invite you to get comfortable finding a position that feels supportive in your body.
Make sure your neck and head and back feel supported and that the physical body is not distracting you in any way.
If it helps,
Go ahead and take a few deep breaths,
Focusing on the out-breath and just seeing if there's room to add a little bit of length,
Inviting your exhale to be longer and slower than your inhale.
Now I invite you to think of a dilemma in your life,
Either one that you're currently facing or maybe one that you faced in the past.
Pick an issue that you've experienced a lot of internal conflict around.
As you begin to focus on this dilemma,
Notice the parts on each side of it,
The parts in conflict with each other,
And notice how they battle with each other.
And begin to notice how you feel toward that battle and toward each part in that battle.
Now let's get to know each of those parts one at a time.
In order to do this,
We're going to ask one of those parts to go into a kind of waiting room.
That will create a bit of boundary that will allow the one you're currently facing to move to the other side of the room.
So take this time to get to know the one who's not in the waiting room first.
And again,
Notice what you're feeling toward it.
If you're feeling a little bit more relaxed,
Then notice what you're feeling toward it.
If you're feeling anything negative toward it,
We're going to ask that part associated with those negative feelings to just let you go to know it for a few minutes so that it can step back.
We're not going to give the attended to part more power to take over and get whatever it wants.
We're just going to try to get to know it.
In order to do that,
We need that one in the waiting room or any of its allies who are making themselves known to pull its energy out of you.
You can reassure it that is the one in the waiting room,
That it'll have time with you too.
So maybe that will help it be a little more patient here.
If you can get to a point of at least being curious about the one who's not in the waiting room,
Go ahead and follow your curiosity and ask it what it wants you to know about its position.
Being curious,
Ask it why does it take such a strong position on this issue?
What is it afraid would happen if the other one took over and won the battle?
What is it afraid of?
What is it afraid of?
Why does it take such a strong position on this issue?
What is it afraid would happen if the other one took over and won the battle?
As you listen to it,
You don't have to agree or disagree,
Just let the partner know that you You care about it.
You're there with it and that you hear it Let's notice how it reacts to this In the next minute or so I want you to ask the part you've been speaking with to go into a separate waiting room Then when you're ready,
Let the other one out so you can get to know it in the same way And again,
You're trying to have an open heart and open mind as you listen to its side You don't have to agree you just kind of want to get to know where it's coming from Why it's so charged up about this,
What it's afraid would happen if the other side won and so on After you've worked with that second part for a while,
Ask it if it would be willing to talk to the other one directly Reassure it that you are there to mediate and to make sure they stay respectful toward each other And it's okay if that part's not willing to do that If that happens,
You won't take this next step and that's okay Just keep getting to know that part,
Maybe what it's afraid of,
Of having a direct conversation with the other part But if it's willing,
Then invite the other one to come and sit down with the two of you Now here you're going to kind of be their therapist as they talk to each other about the issue And again,
Your job isn't to take a side,
It's just to help them get to know each other in a different way and make sure they respect each other when they talk Remind them that they're both a part of you,
They're both important to you so they have that in common Then just see how they react as they get to know each of you in this different way Notice what happens to the internal dilemma At some point,
Pause their discussion,
Let them both know that you can meet with them more regularly in this way And ask them if they could be willing to give you their input on dilemma in the future And then trust you to make the final decision So in this way,
They would act more like advisors for you rather than having the responsibility of making bigger decisions like this one on their own Just see how they react to this idea As before,
It can help to remind them of who you are age-wise,
Where you are in life now,
And who you're not anymore No longer that child or scared little girl,
You're an adult,
A very capable and competent adult In the next minute or two,
Go ahead and thank them both for however much they did and be sure to remind them that they're going to try to return You'll keep checking in on them,
You're building a relationship with them and you want to collaborate and work with them And it feels right for you,
Begin to shift your focus back to the outside world
