When we are living by other people's ideals or standards,
When we are afraid to stand in our own power or worth based on all of these ideas outside of ourselves,
We can start to forget who we are and get lost.
You know,
Some of us may get lost in a particular relationship or job or caught up in some expectations of the world that is not authentic to who we are.
So we have this opportunity now to wake up,
To pay attention,
And to notice where we are out of alignment with our authentic self-expression and then from there to do the work to really get back to who we are.
To come home to ourselves and to ask ourselves what we value,
What we love.
And then that brings us to this week's topic around boundaries.
Because once we know and discover this for ourselves,
It's a whole other thing to begin to start to communicate that with others.
To allow others to know the truth of who we are and how to be in relationship with us through how we communicate our needs and desires and expectations.
And that's what we mean by boundaries.
Boundaries,
This word has so many different meanings and it could be seen as like a wall or a block or something like,
I don't want boundaries because I don't want to be separate from anything or anyone.
That's not the kind of boundary we're talking about.
We are talking about boundary as actually a doorway as opposed to a wall.
A doorway that lets others know how to engage with us.
A doorway to allow someone safely to enter our space and our inner circle where we can be vulnerable and authentic and share who we are.
But we have to let people know.
So boundaries are where we end and another begins.
So if you desire to express yourself authentically,
Then we have to become familiar with what we desire.
What we do tolerate and allow into our space.
And it's different for everyone.
So we can't assume because the way we walk in the world and like to,
You know,
Communicate or like to how close we like to stand or how we like to be touched or any of those things,
We can't assume that the way we walk through the world is how others walk through the world.
So having clarity about our boundaries empowers us to then know who we are and who we are to be in this world and how to relate to others.
So we have to be able to communicate clearly a healthy boundary and to understand what that is in order to then hold others accountable.
Because we can't expect others to honor our boundaries if we don't let them know.
So letting others know also prevents us from being stepped on,
Right?
It creates a bridge instead of a doormat or a block and gives others that pathway,
That clear understanding on how to connect with us.
It also prevents others from stepping on any unexpected landmines that they didn't even know were there.
By crossing boundaries they didn't even know were there.
So this is why it is important to begin to look at this work of boundaries.
And the purpose of life is to express itself through us,
Yes?
And as spiritual beings we are all this individualization of the source energy with our own unique intentions and desires.
So we all have unique boundaries,
Whether they be physical or mental,
Emotional,
Energetic,
Material.
And when we live in the world either with a lack of boundaries or this kind of very loose understanding of boundaries,
It can unconsciously tell others that we don't hold anything sacred,
Right?
That we are always at the helm of others' beings.
That we exist just for their taking,
You know?
And this can lead to,
Of course,
Resentment,
Anger,
Betrayal,
All of those things.
So we need to communicate our boundaries because unfortunately people can't read our minds.
Even people that we have known and been in intimate relationship for 20 years we can't make the assumption that everyone knows me so they should know this about me.
And it doesn't absolve us from the responsibility to continue to communicate our boundaries.
And guess what?
They may change because we are always growing.
It is the nature of life expressing through us to always be evolving and growing.
So as frustrating as it may be sometimes,
You know,
We have to take the time to reevaluate our boundaries and perhaps we will have a new boundary,
You know,
Requested from someone we love that has changed.
And how do we be willing to be accepting and compassionate of that for others and ourselves?
And it gives the opportunity to practice courage and vulnerability and self-love as we stand in our power and our authenticity,
Yes?
To know that sharing who we are is a gift and sharing our boundaries,
Or if it helps you to think of them as our needs or our desires or our wants,
Really gives others the opportunity to connect with us on a deeper way.
Taking time to familiarize ourselves to get to know what our limits are,
What are our non-negotiables.
This is a practice in self-discovery and self-awareness.
And then once you know what you value,
You can begin to then communicate and create those healthy boundaries.
What I want you to leave today with is simple.
No is a complete sentence,
Right?
Knowing our values and our limits empowers us to live in alignment with them,
To be able to say yes to our yeses,
And to be able to hold firm in our sacred no's,
And to create that loving path or doorway to allow people in to experience a deeper,
More intimate connection with us.
So let's just begin by taking that nice deep breath and checking in with our physical body in this moment.
Noticing any sensations,
Hot spots,
Cold spots,
Itching,
Aching,
Tingling.
Connecting with our physical body such that we can begin to recognize and listen for what it needs.
As well as then moving into this awareness of our emotional or feeling state.
Are we feeling tender,
Open,
Vulnerable?
Are we feeling rigid,
Scared,
Angry?
Simply noticing without judgment,
But becoming aware of what our feelings may indicate about our needs and desires,
Our boundaries,
Where they have or have not been,
Perhaps,
Communicated,
Where they have or have not been shared and honored.
And taking a moment to check in with our thoughts.
Are we ruminating on something?
Are we feeling a resistance or a judgment to something that is occurring as opposed to simply noticing it is what it is?
Where are our thoughts leading us to do the work on honoring our needs and desires?
So taking another deep breath,
This simple practice is one that we can begin to integrate into our lives moment by moment,
Day by day,
As needed.
Checking in,
Becoming aware.
So again,
We breathe now,
Clearing,
Releasing,
Allowing the breath to bring us into this now present moment,
Where we know and recognize the one life that is love,
That is peace,
That is joy,
That is harmony,
That is clarity.
This one life that is the very essence and nature of the universe,
That which some call God,
Spirit.
It is who I am.
It is the very essence and nature and truth of each and every being.
And as this is true for each of us,
We can stand in the power and the awareness and the clarity and the joy and the beauty of life expressing itself in,
As,
And through us.
For what is true of Spirit must be true of us,
For it is who we are.
So I affirm right here,
Right now,
Speaking in the I on behalf of all of us,
That I am willing to speak my sacred no.
I am willing to clearly communicate my needs and wants and desires.
I embrace clarity and self-awareness,
Self-love,
And self-worth to stand in the wholeness and integrity of my being.
I know who I am.
I know what is mine to do.
What I need and want and desire in order to express the fullness of who I am in this wonderful world,
In relationship with others,
To stand firmly in my unique power and presence,
And to open that door,
To invite people lovingly into my heart,
Releasing shame and judgment and fear and doubt and unworthiness,
And standing and claiming and knowing self-love,
Unconditional love is who I am.
I am worthy.
I am whole.
I am complete.
I am clear.
I am free.
I am joy personified.
Yes,
And for this I am grateful,
So grateful,
So grateful to know that this word is done as I release it into the universe,
The law of the universe that always says,
Yes,
Yes,
Yes,
My beloved,
It is done.
It is so,
And so it is.
