Healing Shame

Break free from shame and embrace your inherent self-worth. This powerful talk unpacks the distinction between shame and guilt, exploring how shame impacts our behavior and well-being. Learn actionable strategies to recognize and challenge shame triggers, overcome negative self-talk, and cultivate connection through community and vulnerability.

Discover how open communication and empathy can dissolve shame’s grip, helping you live with confidence and authenticity.

Transcript

Shame is a feeling of unworthiness or self-disconnection that we experience when we believe that we have failed to meet certain expectations or standards.

Or it is that we feel we are inherently flawed or defective in some way.

So shame is different from guilt,

Which is the feeling of regret or remorse that we experience when we've done something wrong or hurtful.

Shame is a much deeper,

More internalized experience.

And if we want to be able to show our beautiful golden selves to the world,

We must first release those layers that we have covered ourselves with,

Hiding behind our own deep shame or perhaps feelings of unworthiness.

And,

Notice,

Sometimes then we start to feel bad that we're hiding because of the shame.

That's a shame cycle,

Right?

We feel shame for being shamed.

And we can do such a number on ourselves to start really,

You know,

Believing that we're the only ones that feel this way and that perhaps something really is wrong with us and we can isolate and have all these things that hold us back.

And I'm here to say,

Though,

That shame is a common,

Universal human experience for all of us to overcome.

This doubt and fear and feeling of unworthiness is one of the most common core beliefs within each of us that holds us back.

That feeling of not enough,

Yeah?

Anyone relate?

Yeah.

So,

You know,

If we believe and feel that we are unlovable,

Then we start to try to convince ourselves that this isn't true by things like working harder or being productive,

Trying to get approval from other people and change ourselves or hide parts of ourselves that we are afraid perhaps will not be as accepted by others.

And then maybe someday we will become enough and we will be worthy of love and connection.

Or sometimes shame shows up as withdrawing and not fully engaging with life,

Yeah?

It can look like,

On the other end of the spectrum,

Overcompensating by showing off or acting like we have it all together or that we are somehow better than others.

So shame underlies so much of our human behavior,

Often our unconscious human behavior.

But we are here as a community committed to waking up and to live a more conscious and aware life.

So what we need to do is not become something different but simply release all that we are not.

All that we have been hiding behind to try to fit in or blend in.

Now is the moment,

Now is the time to shine our unique light upon the world,

Knowing that this is where our inner value truly lives.

So don't worry,

You'll be supported in this process of overcoming shame through vulnerability and empathy and connection with others.

So it is possible to cultivate shame resilience by learning to recognize and then challenge those negative thoughts,

That self-talk that may fuel those feelings of shame and doubt.

And that is one thing that I love about this community,

Right?

We get to come together to remind each other of the truth of who we are.

And even when we don't see it for ourselves,

There will be someone here that will witness your truth,

Remind you,

Reflect back to you the truth of who you are.

So the practice is to become aware.

To become aware of what triggers our shame and then let that guide us to those areas that we have not wanted to look at.

Let it guide us to those places where we perhaps do not feel loved or do not accept ourselves.

And from that place of awareness,

We have the opportunity to heal,

To stop seeking worth from the approval of others and regain our agency and power through self-love.

So the science of mind teaching,

Which is our core teaching here at the spiritual community,

One of the primary principles is oneness.

Now that word can be very vague and we can spend many hours discussing what it means,

But essentially it means that we are all spirit in expression.

We are all an extension of the one divine presence and therefore we are all connected.

We are all inherently worthy.

The only thing that stands between us,

Knowing our worthiness and recognizing our light into the world,

Is not embodying this truth of wholeness and who we are.

So we must become aware of those places where we are unconscious,

Where we have fallen asleep to the truth of who we are.

And what those thoughts or patterns are that keep us from embracing and living our life fully.

The only thing standing in the way between us and our good is the embodiment of our shame,

Forming the belief that we are unworthy.

And that sense of unworthiness keeps us from living life to the fullness.

It keeps us feeling separate from each other and our authentic self.

So the key is to be courageous,

Vulnerable,

Willing enough to explore our shame and to talk about it,

Therefore taking away its power.

I know for myself as soon as I speak something that I feel like I have internalized something,

As soon as I kind of out that feeling,

It immediately loses its grip on me.

It's like the resonant energy no longer has anything to dance with and it can begin to fall away back to the nothingness from which it came.

As we embrace somatic practices to release the grip of shame on our bodies and our mind and our spirit and reclaim our power,

Shame needs three things to grow out of control in our lives.

Secrecy,

Silence,

And judgment.

So we need to share our experience and shame loses its power when it is spoken.

This is how we take back our power and stand in the golden,

Beautiful light of the truth of who we are.

And what this does is open us up to a new possibility for insight and self-discovery and it brings us back to the awareness that we live in a field of pure potentiality.

A field of infinite possibility wherein lies our worthiness and our more than enoughness.

If you really want to transform the belief of unworthiness,

Practice seeing all that you encounter as worthy,

As whole,

As beautiful,

As the beloved.

There's a lot of power and energy in that.

Dr.

Ernest Holmes,

The founder of the Science of Mind teaching and author of the Science of Mind book and many books,

Says we should stop condemning ourselves.

It is the worst condemnation there is.

And when we stop condemning ourselves,

The condemnation of others will not reach us.

As Holmes says,

There is something within you beyond all doubt and fear.

Something which has never been limited by your acts or destroyed by your feelings.

This is the only something that can make you whole.

And I would add,

This is your wholeness.

So this journey of uncovering the truth of who we are,

It's not always easy,

But I tell you it is worth it.

So let us now move into this process of embodying this message.

Taking an opportunity to consciously drop down from our heads to our hearts.

Breathing deep into our center.

Quieting the mind.

And simply allowing the words that have been spoken to settle into our energetic field.

Our physical body,

Our spiritual body,

Our mental body,

All as one whole being.

Allowing the vibration of the word that has been spoken to permeate our entire field.

Energetic,

Physical,

Mental,

Spiritual,

Emotional field.

Knowing and recognizing that there is one life,

One presence,

That is love,

That is wholeness,

That is the very essence and truth of who I am.

And as I know this to be true for me,

This must be true for each and every person hearing the sound of my voice.

So it is from this place of oneness that I affirm this truth for all of us.

Knowing,

Claiming,

Declaring and standing in the truth of my inherent worthiness.

Knowing my value,

Loving myself so fully that nothing can stop that.

Nothing anyone else can say or do.

No thing outside of me gets to determine my worth or value.

I stand firm in the awareness of my wholeness,

Of my love,

Of my truth,

Of my worth.

I am enough.

I am valuable.

I am worthy.

I am whole,

Perfect and complete right here,

Right now.

So I release and reject the idea that there is anything outside of me to be,

Do or become in order to know this truth.

As I stand firmly in the awareness of my wholeness.

And it is with great gratitude that I accept this word right here,

Right now.

And I release it into the universe,

Into the action of the law that always says,

Yes,

Yes,

Yes,

My beloved,

It is done and it is so.

And so it is.