Reflect & Practise: When Times Are Tough (Full Version)

This is for when times get tough. Reuben guides you through a reflective theme of working through this. It also includes a practice of relaxation in the service of working with resistance and contraction. From there, it moves into a breathing technique which Reuben calls 'The Push'. This is to soothe the nervous system.

PLEASE NOTE: there are reflections, questions, and insights revolved directly around your struggle which may evoke strong emotions. Please consider this before taking part.

Transcript

Welcome to this practice.

This practice is for when times get tough.

My name's Ruben.

Relax,

Settle,

Give yourself the right to be here right now.

You need you in this moment.

This is a gift for you and from you.

Let's do this.

In this very moment,

Right now,

You are safe.

Allow this to be absorbed.

Notice what that's like.

Here you are in this moment.

It didn't happen by accident.

You've come here for a reason.

You've come here for your own well-being.

To this safe space right now with me,

Thank you.

Take a moment to thank yourself too for this safe space that you've created.

What do you need in this moment?

Is this about being more centered?

Is this about enhancing your well-being?

Is this about being more compassionate?

Or just having a space to process what's going on?

And maybe it's a combination of some of these.

And as you reflect on this,

Note your intention here.

What is your intention?

Notice this.

Notice what happens when you do.

So,

As you are just holding your body in this moment,

Give yourself permission to allow your body to relax.

This takes a fine tuning of our awareness because there can be some parts of our body that are just subtly in a state of tension or resistance.

Tune in and just gently looking for any parts of your body that may have unnecessary tension or resistance.

The main parts of our body that carry tension are the thighs,

Our shoulders,

Our forehead can quite often be furrowed,

Sometimes very subtly.

Tune into these parts of your body and allow them to soften more and more and more.

I invite you to relax even more,

Feeling your arms as they are,

Nice and heavy.

Feeling the pulling sensation from gravity as your arms hang there,

As your hands are resting there,

Feeling these parts of your body nice and relaxed,

More and more relaxed.

More and more relaxed.

Noticing your legs,

Both legs,

Your feet,

Nice and relaxed.

More and more relaxed.

And if you have thoughts that say you can't relax anymore,

Use a visualization and imagine these parts of your body relaxing even more.

Allow your forehead to be soft,

Your muscles around your eyes,

Your cheeks,

Your jaw,

Nice and relaxed,

More and more relaxed.

Moving down to your shoulders,

The muscles in your shoulders,

The muscles running down your back,

Nice and relaxed.

More and more relaxed,

Even more relaxed.

Using a visualization and if you get to that place where you think you can't relax them anymore or it's not possible to.

And now getting a sense of your body as a whole,

More and more relaxed.

And you may well have picked up on this already,

But the flow of gravity is gently holding you in this position.

So as you relax,

Every time you notice yourself soften a little more,

Notice the flow of gravity and allow that to assist your relaxation.

That's right,

Nice and relaxed.

Right now you are here and right now times are tough.

You're going through something that has got you to this very point and brought you to this very experience with me right now.

So what about you in this moment?

What is it that's troubling you?

What is it that brings on a sense of contraction within your body and mind?

See what it's like to hold your body gently as you start to become familiar with the story that appears before you.

And as you do this,

Take a moment to observe as you do so.

Notice the commentary from your mind.

Notice any sensations.

Notice any emotions.

And here you are,

A witness to all of this in this moment.

And then you'll get pulled back into the commentary again and then with the power of noticing,

You take a step back and observe them once more.

So life is like a roller coaster.

Sometimes we're pulled into reactions driven from fear.

This fear causes a contraction within us.

Sometimes it's obvious,

Sometimes it's so subtle that it may take a good friend to notice something different about you.

When we go through tough times,

It's hard for us to acknowledge anything else that isn't part of the story in our minds.

But even going through this,

There are these moments where we find ourselves taking more conscious action,

Driven through being a little bit more open and receptive to the things in life,

No matter how small they are.

A smile and a casual chat to the elderly person across the street who rarely has any contact.

Truly listening to a child that yearns for meaningful connection by tuning into their mannerisms and noticing the tone of their voice as they explain something exciting to you.

These actions give us a sense of meaning and purpose.

This causes an expansion within us.

Sometimes it's easy to expand.

Sometimes it's really hard.

This is where the practice comes in.

In this moment,

Simply let go and see if you can bring on another perspective here.

This perspective right now from where you are noticing,

Right now as you are in this very moment,

Come to recognise that all is well in your immediate surroundings.

The present moment will nurture you if you let it.

You are safe right now.

And even more so when we leave this period of reflection and move into the practice for today.

Notice what it's like to gently state to yourself right now the following words.

There is no need for resistance right now.

In this very moment,

All is well.

Allow this to be absorbed.

You can adapt these words as you wish.

Deep down your history will tell you that in any periods of darkness that you've experienced,

You've had the capacity to get through it.

You've had times of struggle within those dark times,

But you've also had glimmers of acceptance,

Joy,

Contentment,

Hope,

Or something else whilst going through a time of struggle.

And when you experienced these little glimmers,

The actions you took at the time were solely from your own efforts.

You moved towards the kind of person that you want to be,

Even in the adversity of it all.

And then of course,

There were the times when it seemed as if you were going backwards,

Getting swallowed up in the darkness once more.

Our minds are programmed to be on the outlook for fear.

We're human.

You are not alone.

We all have minds that do this.

And then there were those golden steps forward again,

Offering you glimmers of light once more.

As you did this,

You noticed that things changed before you,

As the world brightened up in front of your very eyes,

Just like it will again.

At that time,

Maybe you got to a specific point that you remember,

Where another person helped you along the way.

If so,

Who was that?

Maybe it got to a point in your life where you felt like you were the only person that properly understood you and your circumstances.

And even though you were the only person at that time that properly understood,

Despite this,

You kept going.

If this resonates with you,

Get a sense of what that was like then,

As you kept going,

Whether you were helped by someone or whether you did this on your own,

As you continued to move forwards.

When you saw the light at the end of the tunnel,

Those little golden moments that brought the light towards you.

But here you are right now.

And right now things are really tough.

There's no denying this.

Sometimes to soften our outlook on a tough situation,

It can be helpful to open up to other perspectives.

This is not to deny this tough time,

But to shed light upon it.

What is this period of darkness telling you about what matters?

What is this darkness illuminating to you?

What are some of the smallest things in life that give you a sense of meaning and purpose whilst in this dark period?

What does this period of darkness tell you about your inner strength?

The times when you have found yourself more scented,

More rational,

Calm and connected to the world despite going through this tough time.

Could this be happening for you as a way of helping you connect in a more meaningful way?

Could this be happening for you as a way of slowing you down?

Could this be happening for you as a way of helping you be honest with yourself?

What is resonating with you right now?

Linger with this for a moment.

Now let go of reflecting.

Now is the time to practice.

And this particular practice is one that I use for when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

And by sticking to this for a set amount of time,

It works every single time.

Let's move into this practice together.

Then we'll have some space for reflecting once more and for transitioning out of this meditation and into the world outside with more of a stable foundations,

More scented,

Connected,

And maybe even with a renewed sense of what really matters in your life right now.

So you can focus on the practice when you need it instead of giving excessive attention to something that doesn't nurture your wellbeing.

This one technique that we will be solely focusing upon.

Give it a try.

You can always choose to focus upon your favorite point of connection if this doesn't resonate with you,

But give it a go.

It usually takes a few minutes to get into it.

This is what I call the push.

Relax once more again and give yourself that check in first off,

Just like from before.

Allowing the flow of gravity to gently hold you in this position and gently assist this process of relaxation as you feel your body relax more and more and more.

There's no need for resistance.

Right here and now you are safe.

Let's get into this practice.

This is it.

Take attention to your out-breath and just notice how gentle your out-breath is.

Just becoming familiar with only the out-breath,

Nice and easy.

What are some of the finer details that you notice in just taking attention And as you notice your out-breath,

What I'd like you to do is to just give a gentle push at the bottom.

Just a touch.

No need for excess effort.

If somebody was sitting right next to you and looking at you,

They wouldn't even know you were doing this.

Just a gentle push at the bottom.

Just a touch more air than you would usually.

It requires a miniscule amount of effort.

When we're practicing mindfulness of the breath,

We allow the breath to do what it will,

To have its own rhythm and pace.

But what we're doing now is just going to get into the push at the bottom.

Noticing your out-breath and very,

Very gently,

Very gently just giving a little push at the bottom.

Getting into this rhythm.

You're making this rhythm.

You're creating this rhythm in this moment.

So you're taking control very gently of just the push at the bottom of the out-breath.

Feeling gravity assist your diaphragm as you just gently give a push at the bottom each time.

This is the only thing that matters in this moment.

This is the practice.

Stay with this gentle push.

Allow my words to just gently flow through you whilst you maintain your main point of focus.

Beautiful,

Gentle push at the bottom.

This push at the bottom is everything in this moment.

This push at the bottom is nurturing your well-being.

Every time you give that gentle push at the bottom whilst you're doing so,

Your heart rate drops significantly by about 20%.

And then it gently returns to normal again.

And then as you focus on the out-breath and give that gentle push at the bottom,

It slows once more.

This is soothing your nervous system.

And what we're going to do is just keep doing this until the rhythm becomes more familiar,

More automatic.

It feels different to start with,

But just continue and notice how the more you do this,

The easier it gets and you soften to it.

Stay with this push.

Allow my words to just gently flow through you whilst your main point of focus is this push.

The more you get used to this,

The more natural this new rate and rhythm of your breathing becomes.

And relax.

If you find yourself getting caught up into the world of thinking again,

Come back to that gentle push.

Come back to the fact that gravity is gently holding you in this position.

Come back to the fact that you are safe and you are nurtured in this very moment.

This is it,

The push.

We just stick with this.

Repeat this process until we are much more expanded,

Relaxed,

Open and receptive.

Staying with this push and committing to be with this push will do this.

It's just a matter of time.

And bringing in the power of noticing as you do so.

What a gift.

You have taken the steps to shift your perspective and align with being centered,

Grounded,

Expanded in this very moment.

Life is unfolding around you now.

You are the witness to everything.

You are the blank canvas.

Your awareness is like a blank canvas that experiences all of your five senses of sight,

Sound,

Touch,

Taste and smell.

As well as the thoughts,

Feelings and intuitions you have.

Allow my words to just gently flow through you whilst you maintain this point of focus on the push.

You may notice now that this rhythm of your breathing has become more automatic and is more gentle and slow thanks to gently making this push your main agenda at the bottom of your out breath.

It keeps you grounded.

If you notice any contraction in your body and mind that shows up,

Then soften,

Expand,

Open up and gently connect to the push once more.

Nothing else matters.

Allowing everything else to flow through you by staying anchored to your breath,

This push as all other experiences can come and go in the background.

Sounds,

Sensations,

Thoughts,

Whatever.

They're all happening in this moment whilst the main point of your focus is gently on the push.

Every time we do this,

We make a change on the inside.

Every time we do this,

We teach ourselves and strengthen the likelihood of being able to be centered,

Grounded and expanded again and again for when we need it.

Stay with this push.

There's nothing else to do.

This is it.

And just in this moment,

Now that this has possibly become more natural,

This rhythm of your breathing and if you've chosen another way of focusing on your breath or your favourite point of connection,

That's totally fine.

In this moment,

See if you can just introduce a half smile,

Just like the Mona Lisa,

Just a touch.

The physiology of this has an impact upon our neurobiology.

Notice what that feels like in this place of safety.

Continuing with this beautiful push and now introducing just a half smile,

Very gentle.

There it is.

And as you tune into the sound of the music,

Maybe you can sense that the greater intelligence of who you are knows what the bigger plan is.

The greater intelligence of who you are knows that you are okay.

And maybe,

Depending upon your outlook on life,

It knows that deep down you always have been and always will be.

Noticing how this gentle,

Beautiful rhythm of the push has nurtured your wellbeing and continues to nurture your wellbeing the more you stay with it.

And if this has resonated with you today,

It's potentially a new remedy for you,

A new practice helping you be centred,

Grounded and expanded for when you need it.

And this is something you're going to get better and better at doing.

And so as we start to come to an end now,

Staying with the push,

Listening to these words allowing them to flow through you.

Go with the flow.

In this moment,

That's what you're doing.

You're going with the flow.

Go with the change that happens.

That's the one constant in this universe.

This is happening for you,

For your own expansion,

If you choose it.

Be centred for your own wellbeing.

This is your gift to the world.

And the times when you do notice contraction,

Hold yourself lightly,

Let yourself off the hook,

Knowing that you'll return to being centred again when the time is right.

And in those times of difficulty when you're pulled back into contraction,

You could ask yourself,

Can I hold myself lightly?

Can I be okay with not being okay?

This will pass.

You have the capacity to get through this.

Can you sense the light that is shining in the darkness?

It just depends where your focus of attention is.

You will have the capacity again,

Just like before,

In those moments when times got tough,

You have the capacity to pull through.

In times of need,

It takes practice.

And this practice takes commitment.

There's no specific timeframe to this or remedy that suits everyone.

But if this has resonated with you today,

Practice the push.

Or something else that you've been drawn to.

In putting the practice in,

Just like you have now,

You don't just get the benefits of doing it there and then.

You are benefiting your future self and strengthening your capacity to be centred,

Grounded,

Connected,

Expanded,

Which enhances your capacity to pull through for moments like these.

For when times are tough.

Reviews

I found it incredibly helpful. I will come back again as I am going through a difficult time but I would like to do so without being totally overwhelmed in it . Thank you 🙏

Reuben, I've listened to many of your tracks many times over, but this track resonates every time I follow your words.
Thank you for helping me take my mindfulness practice to a more effective and beneficial level. Connection made 💞🙏🏼

Thank you 🙏🏽 this breathwork was different from anything I’ve done before!

I liked the length of this practice and the structure of relaxing, connecting and the push technique. I was a little unsure if I was ‘getting it right’ but when I stood up and walked into my day I felt much more grounded and centred. A great tool for my toolbox! Thank you again Ruben 🙏

Currently in hospital. Life is trying to overwhelm me again! Managed to do this sitting as have curtains pulled around me. Feel calmer. Thank you Reuben 🙏🏼

Exactly what I needed. Feeling lighter and more at peace. Thank you 🕊️

In a moment of crisis this pulled me through. Thank you

I have returned to this tract as have been in a dark place for several days. I feel a sense of grounding and calm after listening and will listen again to help myself heal. Thank you.

This is exactly what I needed Rueben, thank you so much.

Thank you for the new technique to help ground me.

Incredible!! I haven’t relaxed like that in a long time! Thank you for that beautiful meditation.

Reuben, that was amazing. Thank you so much.
🙏🕊🦋

Loved this - I feel much calmer and ready to handle whatever moment I’m experiencing

Nice to have a new technique in breathing to help reduce stress, anxiety, fear. Ty! 🫶🏻🙏🏻

Lovely, thought provoking,creating space for re aligning and enabling beneficial perspective shifts. Thank you Reuben. ❤

I came into this feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, and now I feel a really beautiful shift. Thank you Reuben for another incredibly helpful meditation. 🌻🙏🥰

I posted this review 👆👆👆 well over a year ago and just re- visited it again today.

Reuben is master meditation teacher and healer. His ability and genuine caring nature shines through with his soothing voice and gentle guidance. I’ll be back again tomorrow to do this again.

Thank you Reuben - you’re a real gem and I so appreciate you 💎 🙏🥰

So helpful at this time in my life. Thank you so much. 🙏🙏🙏❤️

Very helpful getting through a very rough morning.

Really helpful! Times are tough and this was a great focus on how to make it better 💖

That really talked me out of a dark and painful place. Thank you

Thank you for helping me out of emotional crisis. Tusen takk.