Relationships and intimacy,
The check-in ritual.
Intimacy issues in relationships can manifest in different ways,
Ranging from emotional distance to a lack of physical closeness.
All couples experience this to a greater or lesser extent,
And for varying lengths of time,
Due to the stresses and strains of everyday life.
We then find it hard to express our needs and fears effectively.
Without open and honest communication,
Misunderstandings build,
And both partners can feel isolated and disconnected,
Despite being around each other.
The following exercise has been designed to improve intimacy issues for those partners who are willing to do this.
This exercise is about creating some simple,
New healthy habits with your partner.
This exercise has been adapted from That Course for Couples,
My course for couples,
Which focuses on your strengths and enhancing moments of meaningful connection.
Are you ready?
You might need a pen and paper.
The Check-in Ritual One way of keeping track of the things that give your relationship a sense of meaning and purpose is to have a check-in.
This is specific.
It is a check-in to see how things are going from both your points of view.
Dr.
Russ Harris is a psychotherapist.
He also works with couples and has written a book called Act With Love.
He advocates using some specific questions to use when having this heart-to-heart check-in ritual.
Here are the following questions as a rough framework that you can follow.
What is working in our relationship?
What have I appreciated most in the last two weeks?
When have I felt most connected,
Satisfied,
Loved,
Supported?
When have I felt most understood,
Accepted,
Cared for?
It may be that this is done less frequently,
Such as once a month or once every three months.
It doesn't have to be anything heavy,
It's focusing on your strengths.
Even if things are going well,
You can still share this and appreciate it.
Having reflected on this,
It may well have spurred you on to think about your own check-in.
And if so,
That's awesome.
Feel free to tweak and use your own as you prefer.
Check in with your partner after a couple of days to gently see how they felt about it.
You might like to tweak this.
Here's to enhancing more moments of meaningful connection for you both.
Thank you for being here and thank you for being part of the change.
