Relationships and intimacy.
Meaningful connection rituals.
Intimacy issues in relationships can manifest in different ways,
Ranging from emotional distance to a lack of physical closeness.
This is normal.
All couples experience this to a greater or lesser extent and for varying lengths of time.
The following exercise has been designed to improve intimacy issues for those partners who are willing to do this.
This exercise is about creating some simple new healthy habits with your partner.
Meaningful connection rituals.
Rituals are excellent for forming new healthy habits.
Tony Swartz is a well-respected psychologist who talks about the power of rituals.
He defines a ritual as a change that lasts.
Interestingly he's found that self-discipline is one way to create a new healthy habit,
But introducing a ritual is both easier to implement and far more effective with regards to staying committed to it.
It's common for us to buy into the idea that we need to be super disciplined or super motivated to keep up a new healthy habit.
The good news is this is not the case.
So let's make this simple and easy.
You are listening to this to enhance the connection between you both.
In other words to improve the intimacy between you.
But in the nature of everyday life we easily forget to make the time for doing the little things that can give us a deeper sense of connection.
And one antidote to this is what I call meaningful connection rituals.
The purpose of these is to strengthen the connection you have with your partner.
They give you a range of other benefits within this too,
Such as having fun,
Being affectionate and deepening intimacy.
Meaningful connection rituals are small specific habits that both couples do together on a regular basis.
So in a moment you are going to choose one of seven rituals.
These are usually little expressions or gestures,
Actions that can become habits.
Choose one that resonates with you,
One that you feel will increase the connection between you both.
This exercise has been adapted from that course for couples.
My course for couples which focuses on your strengths and enhancing moments of meaningful connection.
Are you ready?
Get your pen and paper.
Just choose one of these seven.
Number one.
Before sleep say one thing about your partner that you are grateful for,
Even if you're in a bad mood.
Number two.
Set your alarm five minutes early so you can wake up and cuddle each other without worrying about being late.
Physical intimacy first thing in the morning sets the scene for a pleasant day.
Number three.
Upon leaving the house commit to kissing your partner goodbye and wishing them well every single time they leave.
Number four.
Set synchronized alarms exactly the same time on your phone for when you're both apart.
Use these to appreciate each other for a few seconds when you're apart,
No matter where you are or what you're doing,
Knowing that you're both contributing.
Number five.
Leave each other notes in totally unexpected places.
Post-it notes can be an amazing investment for this.
Use them to convey unexpected messages to one another.
Number six.
Agree to turn your phones off at least an hour before bed so you can increase the connection between each other as well as get a better night's sleep.
Number seven.
Just before sleep whilst you're in bed both of you share one thing about your day that went well.
Okay so having reflected on this list it may well be that it's spurred you to think about something that you'd like to do yourself that's not necessarily on this list and if so that's awesome.
Feel free to use your own if you prefer but now that you have gone through this list there may be one thing that you both agree that you would like to work on together.
Check in with your partner after a couple of days to see how this is going and where you might like to tweak this if you need to.
Here's to enhancing more moments of meaningful connection for you both.
Thank you for listening and thank you for being part of the change.
