Notes To Self: For When I’m Activated (I Know My Triggers)

Reuben helps us explore and acknowledge this important part of us — the part of us that gets activated, in other words, ‘triggered’. It could be by someone, something, anything that activates us in a way where we lose connection with ourselves, taking us out of alignment. This is a short talk with subtle, related affirmations interwoven.

Transcript

Notes to self,

For when I'm activated,

I know my triggers.

I choose to take a moment to acknowledge and address a very important part of me,

The part of me that gets activated,

In other words triggered,

By someone,

Something,

Anything that activates me in a way where I lose connection with myself,

Where it takes me out of alignment.

I know this part of me is deeply significant and deserves to be heard and understood with compassion.

It has my best interests at heart,

As best as it can know.

When I experience getting activated,

I know this part of me is not a sign of being weak or overly sensitive,

It's actually a valid response,

A valid response that is rooted from a past experience that was difficult,

Painful or traumatic.

I know this part of me is my mind and body's way of trying to protect me from perceived threats,

Reminding me to be cautious and alert.

It's as if this part of me is saying,

Be careful,

Remember what happened before.

And now I am coming to know this part of me more and more,

That my difficult thoughts and feelings are an indicator to me,

An indicator that I need self-care.

And I'm learning that I deserve it.

What could I call this part of me,

This part of me that is trying to keep me safe?

I wonder.

Thank you,

My dear body,

For trying to protect me.

I choose to nurture you,

Dear body,

And you,

Dear mind,

In these very moments.

Because in doing so,

In noticing my unwanted thoughts and feelings with gentleness,

I am coming to know this part of me more and more.

In doing so,

I parent myself,

And I deserve it.

My triggers are tied to moments when I felt unsafe or overwhelmed,

And they serve as a protective mechanism.

This is my mind's way of ensuring that I don't have to endure the same pain or fear again.

This part of me is vigilant and caring in the only way that it knows,

Always striving to keep me safe,

Even if it sometimes feels like it's overreacting.

As I choose to know this part of me,

I choose to use these two magic steps.

The first step is to notice,

Because the first step to change is awareness.

The second step is to nurture.

And what might it be like to notice and then nurture this part of me with a pause and a gentle half-smile?

Nurture with validating self-talk.

Nurture with pausing and holding myself lightly.

I will parent myself with these two steps of notice and nurture.

Then I will know it's okay to feel activated,

It's okay to feel triggered.

I choose to see this part of me as a natural response,

And it is a testament to my resilience and survival.

And by applying these two simple steps,

Notice and nurture,

I will also acknowledge my mind that may want to judge,

Evaluate,

Criticize.

But from the wisdom within me,

Knowing that this inner critic is also a part of me and that at some level,

It's also trying to protect me from feeling a certain way,

I choose to gently remind this part of me whilst the past was challenging,

I can notice and nurture myself in the present.

Just like I am right now,

The me here now,

Listening to these words in an open and receptive way.

I know this part of me wants me to survive,

But I also know that I am safe,

Despite what this part of me brings to my attention.

I am the expansion that surrounds this part of me.

I am bigger than my thoughts.

I am bigger than my feelings.

I am that which encompasses all of my experiences.

I choose to heal.

I am healing.

And so it is.

I'm on a journey.

It's a little rocky.

It has its ups and downs.

It's not going to be straightforward,

Nothing is.

But in choosing to know this part of me,

By noticing this part of me and nurturing this part of me,

I progress as a spiritual being,

Having a human experience,

Just a little more.

Some days I will forget,

Sometimes I'll lose myself,

Forgetting what I know.

But this is always temporary.

Forgetting myself is part of the journey.

We disconnect,

So that we can reconnect.

And I am worthy of this deep,

Compassionate connection to myself,

From myself.

It is,

After all,

Why we are here.

So as I choose to know this part of me,

I choose to use these two magic steps.

The first step is to notice,

Because the first step to change is awareness.

And the second step is to nurture.

What could I call this part of me that is trying to keep me safe?

I wonder.

And what might it be like to notice and nurture this part of me with a pause and a gentle half smile from time to time?

May my difficult thoughts and feelings be an indicator to me that I need self-care.

My difficult thoughts and feelings are an indicator to me that I need self-care.

And so it is.

Reviews

Calm, grounding, and reflective. This practice is a great guidance through the process for acknowledging and managing through triggers. I really appreciated the focus on how our initial reaction is our body's way of protecting us. I found myself reflecting on past moments of being activated and seeing how they connected to other past moments. My favorite line was that we disconnect to reconnect. Finally, I appreciated the suggested actions on how to use these transient moments of disconnect as indicators for self care and nurturing.

The word ‘trigger ‘ reminds me of those small fish, in warm seas, that are out to get you! I am certainly triggered, daily, often unexpectedly.
I think in these situations ‘ notice and nuture’ are magic words and actions. As soon as we notice something we become aware of it and distance ourself from it.
Like the open hearted warrior I choose to heal and nuture myself. I am important, I am worthy of self care. Instead of feeling hurt, angry and upset, I notice these feelings and actively do something that makes me feel good. I put on music I enjoy to listen to, or go in the garden to look at the flowers, sometimes I just walk away making funny faces!
Life IS Hard and I get triggered every day with unkind words, but with magic awareness I am able to find my way through and heal.
I am learning a wonderful lesson in how to lead my life. Thank you Reuben
🙏

Thank you. You are very good at your work and very genuine. Much appreciated 🙏

You have always been so reassuring Rueben by your deep perception of one’s mind and thoughts. I have always derived so much comfort and uplifted when ever I listen to your offerings just as I have done now. With love and gratitude 🙏💙

A gentle reminder for self-care. Beautiful. Thank you. ❤️

This is beautiful, Reuben! 🩵
Thank you so much. A friend died recently and it was the funeral on Wednesday. I tried so hard not to let my triggers get in the way of supporting my friend who has now also lost her husband but it was tricky… I have been using the 3Ns during the last few days and it has really helped. Finding these new notes from you today has been brilliant timing and has really helped to sooth me and help me to reconnect with myself. As you say, it’s a rocky road but all part of the journey.
And I’m mindful that I’m driving the bus and not looking back at all the passengers!
I cherish your work, Reuben and the way it continues to help me.
Thank you, namaste 🙏
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷

This is a lesson I have needed a lot lately. Thank you for your words of wisdom, Reuben. I appreciate you so much. Namasté. 🙏🏻❤️